Encanto and Losing Everything | James on Finding Purpose
When Grief Becomes Your Greatest Teacher: The Story of a Father Who Found Purpose in Tragedy
There are moments in life where everything changes in a single second. For James, that moment came on a regular Tuesday evening in Anaheim, California — a walk with his pregnant wife that turned into a nightmare he couldn’t wake up from. But what happened next wasn’t a story about survival. It was a story about what you do after survival. It was about choosing to become the father his daughter needed, even when grief was threatening to destroy him.
Most of us will never face the kind of loss James experienced. But all of us face moments where we have to choose between falling apart and stepping up. His story isn’t just about tragedy. It’s about what happens when you decide that your child’s strength becomes your strength.
The Moment Everything Changed: One Second, One Choice
James and his wife Yesenia had spent months preparing for their daughter’s arrival. They walked every day through their Anaheim neighborhood, talking about their dreams — the home they’d buy, the life they’d build together, the future they were creating. Yesenia had left her job as a cast member at Disneyland to focus on her passion for cosmetology. James was working for a bank, excited to finally become the father he’d always wanted to be.
On that Tuesday, something felt off. James couldn’t shake the feeling that something was missing, even as he went through his normal workday. His colleagues had thrown a baby shower in his cubicle that morning. Everyone knew how badly he wanted this.
When he got home, Yesenia was waiting on the sofa. She wasn’t feeling well — she’d had severe morning sickness all day — but she still wanted to take their evening walk. They were heading toward a shopping center near their home, close to Disneyland, when James heard it: the sound of a vehicle losing control.
In an instant, a car jumped the curb and struck Yesenia as James was holding her hand.
The next hours were a blur of 911 calls, hospital rooms, and the kind of news that shatters a family. Yesenia was gone. And James was standing there, not knowing if his daughter — still in the womb at 36 weeks — had survived.
Then came the words that changed everything: “Your daughter survived.”
The Miracle That Saved Him: When Your Child Becomes Your Teacher
Most people would understand if James had broken completely. He’d just lost his wife. His newborn daughter had spent 20 minutes without oxygen. She was in the NICU, connected to tubes and breathing apparatus, fighting for her life. The doctors didn’t know if there would be permanent brain damage.
But James made a choice.
He decided that if his newborn daughter could fight for her life — if this tiny girl, forced into the world before her time, could battle through jaundice, a small stroke in her frontal lobe, and a body-cooling procedure designed to protect her brain — then he could fight too.
“I saw her in that bed as she’s progressing in a positive way,” James recalls. “And I’m like, if this little girl is fighting for her life to be here in this world, I need to do the same. I need to fight to be here for her.”
This wasn’t inspirational talk. This was a father fundamentally rewriting his relationship to grief and purpose. He made a decision: he would never show his pain or suffering in front of his daughter. Every moment with her would be positive energy. Every hug, every interaction, every late-night diaper change — it would all be an act of love, not a burden.
The nurses at UCI Medical Center didn’t just save his daughter’s life. They taught James how to change diapers, how to feed her, how to be a single father to a child born under impossible circumstances. He learned that those moments — the ones he’d feared before she was born — became the most precious parts of his day.
Finding Purpose in the Wreckage: The Encanto Lesson That Stuck
When James discovered the Disney film Encanto, something clicked. The movie opens with Abuela Alma telling the story of her darkest moment — losing her husband Pedro while fleeing with three newborn babies. In that darkness, a miracle appeared: the magical house Casita, which became the foundation for everything that followed.
James saw himself in that story. He’d lost his wife in his darkest moment. And in that same darkness, his daughter emerged as his miracle — not because she had special powers, but because she was alive. She was fighting. She was loving.
As the movie progresses, we watch Mirabel — the one family member without magical gifts — discover that her real power isn’t about what she can do. It’s about who she is. It’s about showing up for her family, about love, about connection. And in the final song, “The Miracle Is You,” Abuela realizes that the greatest gift was never the magic. It was the family itself.
That’s what James learned too. His daughter looked like him — short curly hair, the same stature. They watched Encanto together constantly. For one of her birthdays, he even dressed up as Bruno while she dressed as Mirabel. But the real connection went deeper.
“She has so much love to give,” James says. “She’s that little person that lights up the room, hugs random strangers. Really kind and really loving. And I remember every time she hugs me and embraces me and says, ‘I love you, daddy’ — it’s like the most beautiful thing.”
The Discipline of Presence: 20 Minutes That Feel Like an Eternity
One of the most practical insights James shares is something every parent needs to hear: dedicate at least 20 minutes a day of undivided attention to your child.
That’s it. Not a full day. Not a weekend. Twenty minutes where your attention is completely theirs. No phone. No distraction. Just presence.
“Those 20 minutes will feel like an eternity for them,” James explains. “They won’t care that you were gone for eight to 10 hours at work. All they look forward to throughout their day is that little bit of time that they have with their dad, dedicated solely to them.”
When you’ve nearly lost everything, you understand what actually matters. It’s not the house. It’s not the car. It’s not the achievements or the status. It’s the moment your daughter runs up to you and hugs you. It’s the giggle when you’re changing a diaper. It’s the embrace when you come home from work.
This is why James now has a newborn son alongside his daughter. After five years of grieving, he realized something: his daughter wanted a family. She wanted siblings. He was so focused on protecting what remained that he wasn’t seeing what she actually needed.
He found a partner who understood his story, who embraced his daughter, who supported him through the process of becoming a father again. And now he’s experiencing fatherhood in a completely different way — not from a place of fear, but from a place of gratitude.
The Gift of Choosing Love Over Grief
The hardest part of James’s story isn’t the tragedy. It’s the choice he made afterward.
Grief is easy. Falling apart is easy. Closing yourself off and deciding that the world has taken too much — that’s the path most people would understand.
But James chose differently. He chose to let his daughter’s strength become his strength. He chose to show up every single day with positivity. He chose to find meaning in the mundane — in diaper changes, in late-night feedings, in the butterfly or hummingbird that reminds him his late wife is still checking in on them.
He shares his story freely, asking nothing in return except the chance to help others find their own light at the end of their tunnel.
“Love will find you even when you’re not looking,” James reflects. “Love comes in different forms and shapes. I never expected to fall in love again or find a partner again, but I did. And it’s a beautiful thing.”
The miracle wasn’t that his daughter survived. The miracle is that James chose to survive too — not just physically, but emotionally, spiritually, as a father, as a partner, as a human being willing to transform devastation into devotion.
That’s the real Disney magic. Not the castle. Not the rides. It’s the choice to believe that even in your darkest moment, you can find purpose. You can find love. You can become the person your family needs you to be.
Listen to James’s full story at https://youtube.com/@YesAndLand | More at https://ridethewave.media/yes-and-land