June 11, 2026

Nathan Hooper Pixar's Soul and the Art of Getting Unstuck | Nathan Hooper

Nathan Hooper Pixar's Soul and the Art of Getting Unstuck | Nathan Hooper
Nathan Hooper Pixar's Soul and the Art of Getting Unstuck | Nathan Hooper
Yes And Land
Nathan Hooper Pixar's Soul and the Art of Getting Unstuck | Nathan Hooper
Apple Podcasts podcast player iconSpotify podcast player iconYoutube Music podcast player icon
Apple Podcasts podcast player iconSpotify podcast player iconYoutube Music podcast player icon

What if chasing your big break is actually the thing keeping you from living? Soul answers that question head-on. Joe Gardner spends his whole life waiting for the moment his purpose finally "arrives" — and nearly misses every moment that actually mattered. Nathan Hooper, account strategist at 97th Floor and sports psychology enthusiast, knows that pressure from the inside out — from door-to-door sales goals that crushed him, to a podcast built on helping people build lasting marriages, to the daily discipline of showing up without knowing the outcome.

🎯 3 ACTIONABLE TAKEAWAYS

(Pulled directly from Nathan's closing segment)

  1. Find a Moment to Serve Someone This Week — Go outside your normal routine and take something off the plate of someone close to you — a spouse, family member, or friend. Why it works: Soul's biggest lesson is getting out of your own head. Serving others pulls you out of yourself and back into the present.
  2. Find a Moment of Wonder — Whether it's a sunrise, a mountain view, a song, or a single beautiful leaf — pause and let it land. Why it works: Presence isn't passive. It's a practice. Wonder is the shortcut back to it.
  3. Face Something Hard With a Smile — This week, when you hit an objection, a setback, or a rough moment, meet it with a smile on your face. Why it works: Smiling through the hard thing tells your brain I've got this — it reframes the moment before you even process it.

🔦 EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS

  • Why Joe Gardner's "meaningless" pie scene is actually the most important moment in Soul
  • The door-to-door sales breakdown that taught Nathan more about purpose than any win ever could
  • How Nathan and his wife built a marriage prep podcast — and what they learned about alignment, values, and going in the same direction
  • What sports psychology taught Nathan about pressure, goals, and knowing when to reset your target
  • Why journaling — individually and together — unlocks things you didn't even know you needed to say to your partner
  • The reframe: how the same moment can feel meaningless or deeply significant depending on the lens you're looking through

👤 ABOUT NATHAN HOOPER

Nathan Hooper is an account strategist at 97th Floor, a full-service digital marketing agency working with some of the most recognized brands in the world. A Utah native and West Jordan High School alum, Nathan is a sports psychology enthusiast, former e-trade broker, and veteran door-to-door sales leader who once ran a team in Austin, Texas chasing 1,000 contracts in a single summer. He and his wife co-hosted a podcast dedicated to helping engaged couples build a strong foundation before marriage — bringing in therapists, coaches, and real-world frameworks to fill a gap they noticed in the pre-marriage resource space.

Connect with Nathan: 🌐 97th Floor: 97thfloor.com

📺 ABOUT YES AND LAND

Yes And Land explores the leadership lessons, relationship dynamics, and hard choices hidden in the stories we love. Hosted by Ryan Gregerson, a family law attorney at RCG Law Group, Disney enthusiast, and business coach for law firm owners at Altium Advisors, each episode connects familiar narratives to real-world wisdom you can actually use.

New episodes every Thursday.

WEBVTT

00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:01.919
dude this movie is so beautiful if you haven't

00:00:01.919 --> 00:00:03.580
seen this like i don't know how humans wrote

00:00:03.580 --> 00:00:06.179
it it's just honestly incredible the story joe

00:00:06.179 --> 00:00:09.419
gardner he's a jazz musician he's a band teacher

00:00:09.419 --> 00:00:11.480
teaches eighth grade and he dies like he falls

00:00:11.480 --> 00:00:13.339
into a sewer and dies and like that's it and

00:00:13.339 --> 00:00:15.560
he's like my life is over he's like i can't be

00:00:15.560 --> 00:00:17.399
dying right now when my life is just about to

00:00:17.399 --> 00:00:21.260
get started like joe thought his spark was he

00:00:21.260 --> 00:00:23.920
thought that that was his purpose yes and i love

00:00:23.920 --> 00:00:26.739
the line with uh the jerry where he's like my

00:00:26.739 --> 00:00:28.839
purpose is piano and then jerry's like oh you

00:00:28.839 --> 00:00:30.739
humans and your passions like your spark's not

00:00:30.739 --> 00:00:33.060
your purpose like it's so basic my family hadn't

00:00:33.060 --> 00:00:35.259
made it to austin yet i go to the apartment i

00:00:35.259 --> 00:00:36.740
just like i'm just like laying on the ground

00:00:36.740 --> 00:00:39.100
like you know like kind of overwhelmed by that

00:00:39.100 --> 00:00:42.560
goal overwhelmed by uh my performance and just

00:00:42.560 --> 00:00:46.130
like really feeling like what am i doing I had

00:00:46.130 --> 00:00:48.329
had buddies who had gotten married and gotten

00:00:48.329 --> 00:00:50.509
divorced in less than a year. And then I was

00:00:50.509 --> 00:00:52.590
reading a book called So Good They Can't Ignore

00:00:52.590 --> 00:00:54.579
You. Such a good book. And there was a line that

00:00:54.579 --> 00:00:56.380
hit me so hard that I needed to start this podcast.

00:00:56.679 --> 00:00:58.560
And so my wife and I just jumped into it. So

00:00:58.560 --> 00:01:00.079
I feel like nature has a way of snapping me back

00:01:00.079 --> 00:01:01.979
out. All these birds just going about their lives,

00:01:02.020 --> 00:01:03.259
just finding their worms. They're just doing

00:01:03.259 --> 00:01:04.579
their thing. And all I'm doing is going about

00:01:04.579 --> 00:01:06.099
my life, finding my worm. Like, why am I getting

00:01:06.099 --> 00:01:07.920
so worked up about that? I'm going to hike and

00:01:07.920 --> 00:01:10.140
just seeing the vista, just seeing like, I am

00:01:10.140 --> 00:01:12.599
in one tiny little section of the whole world.

00:01:12.640 --> 00:01:14.459
And this little section is beautiful. But if

00:01:14.459 --> 00:01:17.359
I really zoom out, this place is so big. There

00:01:17.359 --> 00:01:23.040
is so much going on here. Welcome to Yes and

00:01:23.040 --> 00:01:26.379
Land, where we say yes to the reality of yesterday

00:01:26.379 --> 00:01:30.000
and today, and we say and to the possibility,

00:01:30.359 --> 00:01:40.040
growth, and imagination of tomorrow. Welcome

00:01:40.040 --> 00:01:43.079
to another episode of Yes and Land. We are very

00:01:43.079 --> 00:01:45.480
excited today. We are joined by Nathan Hooper.

00:01:46.159 --> 00:01:48.040
We might kind of go through what to call him.

00:01:48.040 --> 00:01:50.920
Is it Nate? Is it Nate the Great? Is it Hooper?

00:01:51.700 --> 00:01:55.540
Hoop Daddy. Hoop Daddy. Or just Hoops. We'll

00:01:55.540 --> 00:01:57.739
see. As we evolve through this episode, we're

00:01:57.739 --> 00:01:59.060
going to kind of get a feel for what to call

00:01:59.060 --> 00:02:00.700
you. Yeah, we'll start at Nathan and at Hoop

00:02:00.700 --> 00:02:02.840
Daddy. We'll get there. Okay. I mean, I'm just

00:02:02.840 --> 00:02:03.719
going to go for right now. I'm going to go to

00:02:03.719 --> 00:02:05.579
the full name, Nathan Hooper. So Nathan Hooper

00:02:05.579 --> 00:02:08.360
is an account strategist at a company called

00:02:08.360 --> 00:02:12.439
97th Floor, which is a fantastic company. that

00:02:12.439 --> 00:02:15.439
does a ton of marketing for some really great

00:02:15.439 --> 00:02:20.340
companies. And Nathan is also, I'm going to call

00:02:20.340 --> 00:02:23.900
him a sports psychologist enthusiast. Yeah, I

00:02:23.900 --> 00:02:28.060
love that. Something that you've dove into a

00:02:28.060 --> 00:02:29.860
lot and learned a lot about. And we're going

00:02:29.860 --> 00:02:31.080
to have fun today because we're going to talk

00:02:31.080 --> 00:02:34.750
about... The movie Soul, which is a terrific

00:02:34.750 --> 00:02:37.150
movie, actually came out in 2020 during COVID,

00:02:37.250 --> 00:02:40.490
which is interesting. And they have, I mean,

00:02:40.490 --> 00:02:44.870
a wonderful musician who wrote music for that

00:02:44.870 --> 00:02:47.169
and has talked a lot about it, John Batiste,

00:02:47.310 --> 00:02:50.370
who is fantastic. And today we're going to be

00:02:50.370 --> 00:02:54.770
talking a little bit about really getting alignment.

00:02:56.099 --> 00:02:58.319
finding what I'm going to say, joy in the journey.

00:02:58.460 --> 00:03:00.680
That's a phrase we like to use, finding joy in

00:03:00.680 --> 00:03:02.919
the journey, and really kind of finding and building

00:03:02.919 --> 00:03:07.620
for fulfillment and success along the path. So

00:03:07.620 --> 00:03:09.599
I'm really excited to kind of see and hear some

00:03:09.599 --> 00:03:12.379
of your takes there. You all should know as well

00:03:12.379 --> 00:03:16.060
that Hoop Daddy did have a podcast for a while

00:03:16.060 --> 00:03:18.360
there, and the podcast he did with his wife,

00:03:18.379 --> 00:03:20.319
which is really cool, and the podcast was designed

00:03:20.319 --> 00:03:25.210
for, if I'm not mistaken, helping people prepare

00:03:25.210 --> 00:03:27.449
for marriage. That's right. Is that right? Which

00:03:27.449 --> 00:03:29.129
is why it's kind of fun today because we have

00:03:29.129 --> 00:03:31.710
kind of a paradox, right? So Nathan was out there

00:03:31.710 --> 00:03:33.909
helping people make sure they stay married, and

00:03:33.909 --> 00:03:35.830
I'm over here helping people get divorced. I

00:03:35.830 --> 00:03:37.509
was trying to take you out of business. You were,

00:03:37.590 --> 00:03:40.810
right? And it's funny, in our prep, as I thought

00:03:40.810 --> 00:03:42.750
more about that, I think it's kind of a fun paradox

00:03:42.750 --> 00:03:44.550
because in real, I don't think it's sexually

00:03:44.550 --> 00:03:46.849
that different. When I think about some of the

00:03:46.849 --> 00:03:49.969
things that we do as a divorce law firm, for

00:03:49.969 --> 00:03:51.879
me as a divorce attorney, I'm trying to help

00:03:51.879 --> 00:03:56.719
educate people on how to get alignment in co

00:03:56.719 --> 00:03:59.539
-parenting, how to have less conflict, but also

00:03:59.539 --> 00:04:02.000
really providing tools and education resources

00:04:02.000 --> 00:04:05.300
so the next time around, hopefully it'll stick.

00:04:05.759 --> 00:04:07.759
Hopefully it'll stick, right? Because the reality

00:04:07.759 --> 00:04:11.080
is I don't want people to get divorced. I always

00:04:11.080 --> 00:04:13.319
say when people come to us and they do a consultation

00:04:13.319 --> 00:04:15.479
with me, they're asking me if they should get

00:04:15.479 --> 00:04:17.740
divorced. I'm like, that is totally your call.

00:04:17.860 --> 00:04:19.680
I'm not here to tell anybody to get divorced.

00:04:21.040 --> 00:04:23.100
ready to get divorced, when it's the right call

00:04:23.100 --> 00:04:25.660
for their situation, their life, then we help

00:04:25.660 --> 00:04:27.519
them do it. So that'd be kind of a fun paradox

00:04:27.519 --> 00:04:28.720
for us to kind of explore a little bit today.

00:04:28.860 --> 00:04:33.459
So Nate, just real briefly, I would love for

00:04:33.459 --> 00:04:35.040
you to give a little bit of background for yourself,

00:04:35.220 --> 00:04:38.680
kind of like where you're from, how you ended

00:04:38.680 --> 00:04:41.740
up deciding to start a podcast and kind of where

00:04:41.740 --> 00:04:44.139
that took you and all the way up until where

00:04:44.139 --> 00:04:45.740
you are now. Sure. Yeah. I'm from West Jordan.

00:04:45.800 --> 00:04:48.120
So I know you're also from West Jordan. I went

00:04:48.120 --> 00:04:50.000
to the Jaguars, West Jordan High, so Copper Hills.

00:04:50.730 --> 00:04:53.230
I know. Yeah. Yeah. Big rivalry. I would like

00:04:53.230 --> 00:04:54.870
to say we had a rivalry. I don't think either

00:04:54.870 --> 00:04:56.910
of us was really good enough for a rivalry, right?

00:04:56.949 --> 00:04:59.209
We both wanted to be rivals with Bingham. With

00:04:59.209 --> 00:05:00.629
Bingham, but they would just smack us around.

00:05:00.670 --> 00:05:02.509
Yeah, it was just horrible. And Bingham's like,

00:05:02.569 --> 00:05:04.029
oh, you guys are like the little brothers. Like,

00:05:04.089 --> 00:05:06.269
not even important. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, so I

00:05:06.269 --> 00:05:07.970
grew up in West Jordan. I'm the oldest of four.

00:05:09.029 --> 00:05:10.829
Big basketball guy. We were just hitting on basketball.

00:05:10.990 --> 00:05:12.829
So I love basketball sports. That kind of led

00:05:12.829 --> 00:05:16.480
into the sports psychology. So I started a mission

00:05:16.480 --> 00:05:17.560
for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter -day

00:05:17.560 --> 00:05:20.060
Saints, got back. I got into finance. I worked

00:05:20.060 --> 00:05:22.459
at E -Trade for a while, became a broker, met

00:05:22.459 --> 00:05:24.699
my wife on Mutual online. Shout out, Mutual.

00:05:24.779 --> 00:05:27.459
That's how we met. And then we got married, and

00:05:27.459 --> 00:05:30.879
I started getting into door -to -door sales,

00:05:31.019 --> 00:05:33.300
and that took me into the podcast, which was

00:05:33.300 --> 00:05:35.139
just something I wanted to do on the side. I

00:05:35.139 --> 00:05:37.560
had had buddies who had gotten married and gotten

00:05:37.560 --> 00:05:40.220
divorced in less than a year. It's tough. It

00:05:40.220 --> 00:05:41.560
was really tough. And then I was reading a book

00:05:41.560 --> 00:05:44.379
called So Good They Can't Ignore You. uh, by

00:05:44.379 --> 00:05:47.259
Cal, I forget his last name, but Cal Newport,

00:05:47.319 --> 00:05:49.360
such a good book. And there was a line in there.

00:05:49.420 --> 00:05:50.800
I forget the line on us right now, but it hit

00:05:50.800 --> 00:05:52.779
me so hard. I need to start this podcast. And

00:05:52.779 --> 00:05:54.699
so my wife and I just jumped into it, you know,

00:05:54.699 --> 00:05:56.579
both feet in and we started doing this podcast

00:05:56.579 --> 00:05:59.160
and talking about, uh, we had had an experience

00:05:59.160 --> 00:06:01.160
before we got married. We were able to work with

00:06:01.160 --> 00:06:04.019
a marriage counselor that my wife knew had a

00:06:04.019 --> 00:06:05.519
family friend, a marriage therapist. And so we

00:06:05.519 --> 00:06:07.079
had two sessions with her before we got married.

00:06:07.139 --> 00:06:09.600
I feel like it was so impactful for us to help

00:06:09.600 --> 00:06:11.730
us. have a strong foundation to build on as we

00:06:11.730 --> 00:06:13.569
got married. So we wanted to share some of that.

00:06:13.589 --> 00:06:15.350
There really weren't any resources for marriage

00:06:15.350 --> 00:06:16.850
preparation that we could find. And so we wanted

00:06:16.850 --> 00:06:19.889
to kind of be the first ones in that space. So

00:06:19.889 --> 00:06:23.350
when you look at that, what did you, as you do

00:06:23.350 --> 00:06:26.449
that podcast, as you start bringing guests on,

00:06:26.529 --> 00:06:28.610
you're diving deeper into that world, what did

00:06:28.610 --> 00:06:31.670
you start to identify some of the major problems

00:06:31.670 --> 00:06:36.129
or issues that people could correct when they

00:06:36.129 --> 00:06:38.970
were... In those stages of getting engaged and

00:06:38.970 --> 00:06:41.509
going to be married so that hopefully that they

00:06:41.509 --> 00:06:43.490
could stay together and not end up down that

00:06:43.490 --> 00:06:46.009
path of divorce. Yeah. A big thing that we pushed

00:06:46.009 --> 00:06:48.569
in. So our therapist, she had given us this marriage

00:06:48.569 --> 00:06:50.290
checklist, had a bunch, a bunch of different

00:06:50.290 --> 00:06:53.629
questions from every topic, from finances to

00:06:53.629 --> 00:06:56.949
communication styles to, you know, sexual intimacy,

00:06:57.110 --> 00:06:58.910
like all these different topics that we hit on

00:06:58.910 --> 00:07:00.529
that we'd want to talk about and have these deep

00:07:00.529 --> 00:07:03.069
conversations with before we got married was

00:07:03.069 --> 00:07:04.649
so important for us. I feel like one of the best

00:07:04.649 --> 00:07:07.399
advice I'd gotten was. Just making sure you guys

00:07:07.399 --> 00:07:10.189
are. aiming in the same direction like you both

00:07:10.189 --> 00:07:13.389
want to go the same place like this an easy example

00:07:13.389 --> 00:07:15.949
is if i want to i don't want to have any children

00:07:15.949 --> 00:07:17.490
and i want to live in utah that's my life and

00:07:17.490 --> 00:07:19.589
i'm my i marry my wife and she wants to have

00:07:19.589 --> 00:07:21.509
five kids and move to florida like those things

00:07:21.509 --> 00:07:23.649
are so different that we're naturally going to

00:07:23.649 --> 00:07:25.569
brush up on each other so making sure that we're

00:07:25.569 --> 00:07:26.850
moving the right direction moving in the same

00:07:26.850 --> 00:07:28.589
direction we have the similar goals we've had

00:07:28.589 --> 00:07:30.290
those deep conversations about all these different

00:07:30.290 --> 00:07:32.610
topics beforehand to make sure that we're aligned

00:07:32.610 --> 00:07:34.889
and being vulnerable with each other i think

00:07:34.889 --> 00:07:36.589
it's one of the most critical things that young

00:07:36.589 --> 00:07:38.639
preparing couple can can do to help make sure

00:07:38.639 --> 00:07:41.279
they're building the right foundation and so

00:07:41.279 --> 00:07:42.860
let me ask you a few more questions about that

00:07:42.860 --> 00:07:44.620
kind of building the right foundation uh getting

00:07:44.620 --> 00:07:47.259
alignment on kind of where you're going i think

00:07:47.259 --> 00:07:49.279
there's this interesting thing for us to explore

00:07:49.279 --> 00:07:52.720
here a little bit about you know what is what

00:07:52.720 --> 00:07:54.819
is the alignment and and what are the goals you're

00:07:54.819 --> 00:07:57.220
shooting for when i was thinking about this to

00:07:57.220 --> 00:07:59.959
me what kept coming to mind and one of the important

00:07:59.959 --> 00:08:02.160
things i think and i want to get your take is

00:08:02.160 --> 00:08:05.319
really getting alignment on values as well yeah

00:08:05.319 --> 00:08:09.579
because There are times like we don't know where

00:08:09.579 --> 00:08:12.879
life is going to take us. If you told me in law

00:08:12.879 --> 00:08:14.519
school that I would be a divorce attorney, I

00:08:14.519 --> 00:08:16.860
would have literally laughed at you. I've been

00:08:16.860 --> 00:08:19.120
like, that will never happen. I will never do

00:08:19.120 --> 00:08:21.339
that. Divorce is the worst, so I will not practice

00:08:21.339 --> 00:08:25.160
that. And so if I had been so set in that, I

00:08:25.160 --> 00:08:26.819
might not have found something that ended up

00:08:26.819 --> 00:08:29.639
being really fulfilling. But to me, getting alignment

00:08:29.639 --> 00:08:33.750
on values is... also a super important part of

00:08:33.750 --> 00:08:35.950
that foundation in my mind. What's your take

00:08:35.950 --> 00:08:39.649
on that, on alignment on values, but also alignment

00:08:39.649 --> 00:08:42.470
on what those goals are while still understanding

00:08:42.470 --> 00:08:45.649
flexibility and what those things could be? That's

00:08:45.649 --> 00:08:47.169
a good question. I think you have to have that

00:08:47.169 --> 00:08:51.769
baseline level of, we're connected at this point.

00:08:51.990 --> 00:08:54.029
We have similar values where you want to go in

00:08:54.029 --> 00:08:56.129
the same direction. I think that is really, really

00:08:56.129 --> 00:09:00.110
pivotal. I just totally agree with that. You

00:09:00.110 --> 00:09:02.940
have to have those same Same foundation of, yeah,

00:09:02.940 --> 00:09:04.600
we're aligned on that. That space thing, it's

00:09:04.600 --> 00:09:10.059
huge. Yeah, I mean, if much like in business,

00:09:10.139 --> 00:09:15.399
I think, if values are misaligned, then even

00:09:15.399 --> 00:09:18.500
if sometimes you might be theoretically going

00:09:18.500 --> 00:09:21.179
in the same direction when values are misaligned,

00:09:21.320 --> 00:09:25.460
it just becomes this rub. Now, it's sometimes

00:09:25.460 --> 00:09:29.610
hard to know that, right? I think what I really

00:09:29.610 --> 00:09:31.330
appreciate about what you were suggesting and

00:09:31.330 --> 00:09:32.970
what you and your wife did is you did some of

00:09:32.970 --> 00:09:35.730
that work before. When you're hiring somebody

00:09:35.730 --> 00:09:38.149
in business, you get an interview for an hour.

00:09:38.649 --> 00:09:40.529
It's kind of hard to figure out, have those deep

00:09:40.529 --> 00:09:44.450
conversations and figure out that. But do people

00:09:44.450 --> 00:09:46.710
sometimes do that with their relationships and

00:09:46.710 --> 00:09:49.830
don't do enough of the work work? I mean, sometimes

00:09:49.830 --> 00:09:54.750
people get so caught up in the newness of this.

00:09:55.399 --> 00:09:58.580
you know i'm so in lust yes with this person

00:09:58.580 --> 00:10:01.460
yes that that sometimes those other conversations

00:10:01.460 --> 00:10:04.360
the deeper ones don't happen yeah 100 and i i

00:10:04.360 --> 00:10:06.860
do like the idea too of being able to see each

00:10:06.860 --> 00:10:08.899
other in every stage of life or the four seasons

00:10:08.899 --> 00:10:11.320
i think that's a big point that some advice we've

00:10:11.320 --> 00:10:13.519
gotten is yeah seeing your significant other

00:10:13.519 --> 00:10:15.139
in all four seasons and just different seeing

00:10:15.139 --> 00:10:17.700
different sides going on different on trips or

00:10:17.700 --> 00:10:19.399
just like different how they interact with those

00:10:19.399 --> 00:10:21.019
families i think you're just constantly just

00:10:21.019 --> 00:10:22.659
putting each other in different situations seeing

00:10:22.659 --> 00:10:24.659
how people are responding and making sure that

00:10:24.659 --> 00:10:26.580
you're lined up that way. And yeah, you're doing

00:10:26.580 --> 00:10:27.940
it for the right reason. I think that lasts,

00:10:27.960 --> 00:10:30.539
especially in Utah culture where it's like, you

00:10:30.539 --> 00:10:33.220
know, got these feelings and I, yeah, you know,

00:10:33.220 --> 00:10:35.460
kind of get married early so we can do what we

00:10:35.460 --> 00:10:37.840
want to do. And it can cause some trouble if

00:10:37.840 --> 00:10:40.259
you don't have a real strong foundation. You

00:10:40.259 --> 00:10:41.879
know, you're kind of, you're built on a sandy

00:10:41.879 --> 00:10:44.320
foundation on that for sure. I like the idea

00:10:44.320 --> 00:10:46.320
of the four seasons. Did you ever see the movie

00:10:46.320 --> 00:10:50.100
with, I think it was Jimmy Fallon. I don't know

00:10:50.100 --> 00:10:52.860
if it was called Boston Fever or Fever Pitch

00:10:52.860 --> 00:10:55.830
or something. But, like, he was this guy who

00:10:55.830 --> 00:10:58.769
was this just fanatic Boston Red Sox fan in the

00:10:58.769 --> 00:11:03.009
movie. And when he first meets this girl, it's

00:11:03.009 --> 00:11:06.070
not baseball season. And so she gets, like, the

00:11:06.070 --> 00:11:07.850
version of him that's not in baseball season.

00:11:07.970 --> 00:11:11.009
That's, like, attentive and does stuff with her.

00:11:11.409 --> 00:11:13.669
And she, like, falls in love with him. And then

00:11:13.669 --> 00:11:16.350
suddenly, like, baseball season comes. And he

00:11:16.350 --> 00:11:20.639
is obsessed, right? Every single game. And it's

00:11:20.639 --> 00:11:22.659
this big thing of, like, figuring out who's going

00:11:22.659 --> 00:11:24.379
to be going with him. They spend all this time,

00:11:24.519 --> 00:11:26.779
like, you know, his friends, like, bidding for

00:11:26.779 --> 00:11:29.120
who wants to go to what game. And it just becomes

00:11:29.120 --> 00:11:31.000
all -encompassing during baseball season. It's

00:11:31.000 --> 00:11:32.580
a totally different version because it's a different

00:11:32.580 --> 00:11:35.399
season. Literally, like, season of the year,

00:11:35.419 --> 00:11:38.120
but also, like, baseball season. I do think when

00:11:38.120 --> 00:11:39.559
you first said that, it made me think of that.

00:11:39.639 --> 00:11:42.299
Like, if you don't see what somebody's like during

00:11:42.299 --> 00:11:45.360
different seasons, it might be a little bit shocking,

00:11:45.419 --> 00:11:47.840
a little bit surprising, right? Helpful to have

00:11:47.840 --> 00:11:50.639
those different seasons that you see. 100%. So

00:11:50.639 --> 00:11:55.059
will you kind of set the stage for us? Because

00:11:55.059 --> 00:11:56.980
I want to dive into some things about soul. Cool.

00:11:57.019 --> 00:11:59.059
And how it kind of applies to these topics and

00:11:59.059 --> 00:12:02.909
kind of run through the... the arc of the story

00:12:02.909 --> 00:12:06.070
as we talk. But if you could lay the foundation

00:12:06.070 --> 00:12:09.769
of the movie Soul. Give us a little recap of

00:12:09.769 --> 00:12:12.389
overarching what the movie is. Dude, this movie

00:12:12.389 --> 00:12:14.110
is so beautiful. If you haven't seen this movie,

00:12:14.190 --> 00:12:16.429
I don't know how humans wrote it. It's just honestly

00:12:16.429 --> 00:12:19.330
incredible the whole flow of it. But the story,

00:12:19.509 --> 00:12:23.389
Joe Gardner, he's a jazz musician. He's a band

00:12:23.389 --> 00:12:25.289
teacher, teaches eighth grade. And you can tell

00:12:25.289 --> 00:12:28.090
he's dissatisfied with his life. He doesn't feel

00:12:28.090 --> 00:12:30.830
like he's done much. He's older. He's single.

00:12:31.769 --> 00:12:34.830
uh lives by himself like he just generally feels

00:12:34.830 --> 00:12:38.029
dissatisfied he ends up finally getting his big

00:12:38.029 --> 00:12:40.210
break where he has this big opportunity to play

00:12:40.210 --> 00:12:42.909
with in a jazz band with a really famous musician

00:12:44.059 --> 00:12:46.039
super excited. And he's going about his life.

00:12:46.059 --> 00:12:47.720
He just is like pump. He's calling people. He's

00:12:47.720 --> 00:12:49.480
walking through the city and he dies. Like he

00:12:49.480 --> 00:12:51.299
falls into a sewer and dies and like, that's

00:12:51.299 --> 00:12:53.159
it. And he's like, my life is over. He's like,

00:12:53.240 --> 00:12:55.539
I can't, I can't be dying right now when my life

00:12:55.539 --> 00:12:57.500
is just about to get started. Like I'm just finally

00:12:57.500 --> 00:12:59.100
about to start living and like now it's over.

00:12:59.200 --> 00:13:01.379
And so he has this big anxiety and he's kind

00:13:01.379 --> 00:13:03.220
of trying to crawl out of like, he's like on

00:13:03.220 --> 00:13:05.240
this escalator moving into heaven kind of deal,

00:13:05.279 --> 00:13:07.220
the great beyond. And he's trying to get out

00:13:07.220 --> 00:13:09.289
of it. And he finally like slips through. And

00:13:09.289 --> 00:13:11.470
he lands in the great before, which is where

00:13:11.470 --> 00:13:15.009
he meets 22. And she's a soul that doesn't want

00:13:15.009 --> 00:13:17.269
to live. And so they have the kind of fun contrast

00:13:17.269 --> 00:13:19.490
of him wanting to get back to his life so bad,

00:13:19.590 --> 00:13:22.210
even though by all measures of the world, his

00:13:22.210 --> 00:13:24.889
life has been a failure. 22 doesn't want to live

00:13:24.889 --> 00:13:26.509
at all. And they connect and they go through

00:13:26.509 --> 00:13:29.990
their whole experience and end up making it towards

00:13:29.990 --> 00:13:33.029
the end where he achieves his dream. He gets

00:13:33.029 --> 00:13:35.090
to do what he wanted to do, but it ends up not

00:13:35.090 --> 00:13:37.629
fulfilling him. That's not actually what. he

00:13:37.629 --> 00:13:39.629
like he realized it's not what's what he wanted

00:13:39.629 --> 00:13:41.690
but it wasn't what he needed and so then he has

00:13:41.690 --> 00:13:43.990
his experience where he played yeah he has he

00:13:43.990 --> 00:13:46.970
plays with her um and then it's like yeah he

00:13:46.970 --> 00:13:49.629
wasn't filled so he goes back and helps 22 then

00:13:49.629 --> 00:13:51.690
and that's where he really has fulfillment and

00:13:51.690 --> 00:13:53.909
gets what he needs and actually learns what the

00:13:53.909 --> 00:13:56.330
purpose of life is that really is just life itself

00:13:56.330 --> 00:13:58.549
there's not necessarily a goal that you're trying

00:13:58.549 --> 00:14:01.149
to reach but an experience so part of the way

00:14:01.149 --> 00:14:03.950
that they kind of phrased that in there was that

00:14:03.950 --> 00:14:06.720
these in the group before that these little kind

00:14:06.720 --> 00:14:09.059
of souls needed to find their spark yeah and

00:14:09.059 --> 00:14:12.159
until they found a spark they wouldn't go to

00:14:12.159 --> 00:14:14.100
earth right that kind of idea so 22 has been

00:14:14.100 --> 00:14:17.500
in this uh forever in this journey of trying

00:14:17.500 --> 00:14:19.879
to find a spark and she she thinks she knows

00:14:19.879 --> 00:14:22.000
what it means to find a spark and so does joe

00:14:22.000 --> 00:14:24.960
and i think what's what's one of the really great

00:14:24.960 --> 00:14:28.080
lessons from it is what is that end up meaning.

00:14:28.220 --> 00:14:30.139
What is a spark? What is the finest spark? We're

00:14:30.139 --> 00:14:31.659
going to dive into that. So I want to take you

00:14:31.659 --> 00:14:33.679
back. So now we know the story. I want to take

00:14:33.679 --> 00:14:38.320
you back. So we go back before Joe actually dies,

00:14:38.440 --> 00:14:42.259
right? And he's got to get his suit tailored

00:14:42.259 --> 00:14:47.960
up. And his mom is... What is it called? She's

00:14:47.960 --> 00:14:51.279
a seamstress. And so he goes to her, and he's

00:14:51.279 --> 00:14:54.220
telling her what he wants to do. And she's seen

00:14:54.220 --> 00:14:56.159
this before because her husband was a musician,

00:14:56.159 --> 00:14:57.980
and she saw The Hard Life, and she was the one

00:14:57.980 --> 00:15:00.779
who put food on the table because she had a job.

00:15:00.840 --> 00:15:03.220
She had this seamstress shop that she would do

00:15:03.220 --> 00:15:06.000
to actually make money. And I want to get your

00:15:06.000 --> 00:15:09.480
take on this exchange. So Joe's mom says when

00:15:09.480 --> 00:15:11.419
he's talking about his dreams, like, this is

00:15:11.419 --> 00:15:13.779
my dream gig. I want to go play because he's

00:15:13.779 --> 00:15:15.679
got it but hasn't done it yet. And she says,

00:15:15.840 --> 00:15:19.080
you can't eat dreams, Joey. And he says, then

00:15:19.080 --> 00:15:21.000
I don't want to eat. Yeah. And I don't want to

00:15:21.000 --> 00:15:24.019
eat. And so it's kind of this heartbreaking exchange

00:15:24.019 --> 00:15:27.639
because when I think about it, Joe's not trying

00:15:27.639 --> 00:15:31.000
to be reckless, right? But he's putting all of

00:15:31.000 --> 00:15:33.600
his stock, all of his worth, everything into

00:15:33.600 --> 00:15:36.500
getting this gig to be able to play in a jazz

00:15:36.500 --> 00:15:39.440
band. So kind of give me your take on kind of

00:15:39.440 --> 00:15:42.240
this exchange between Joe's mom and himself.

00:15:43.559 --> 00:15:47.240
Yeah, that's interesting. One of the first things

00:15:47.240 --> 00:15:50.379
that comes to my mind is A quote from Alan Watts.

00:15:50.539 --> 00:15:53.840
Are you familiar with Alan Watts? I think he's

00:15:53.840 --> 00:15:56.740
from England, but he had a lot of super cool

00:15:56.740 --> 00:15:58.799
philosophy. And I'll read this quote that I loved.

00:15:58.919 --> 00:16:02.759
He says, We thought of life by analogy with a

00:16:02.759 --> 00:16:05.480
journey, a pilgrimage, which had a serious purpose

00:16:05.480 --> 00:16:07.700
at the end. And the thing was to get to that

00:16:07.700 --> 00:16:09.860
end, success or whatever it is. Maybe it's heaven

00:16:09.860 --> 00:16:12.340
after you're dead. But we missed the point the

00:16:12.340 --> 00:16:14.539
whole way along. It was a musical thing, and

00:16:14.539 --> 00:16:15.980
you were supposed to sing or dance while the

00:16:15.980 --> 00:16:21.259
music was being played. For Joe he and it's so

00:16:21.259 --> 00:16:22.519
interesting to if you guys have seen the movie

00:16:22.519 --> 00:16:24.940
whiplash using whiplash or have you seen Marty

00:16:24.940 --> 00:16:27.450
supreme? No. These two movies where it's like

00:16:27.450 --> 00:16:31.269
it's the antithesis of soul, where it's two characters

00:16:31.269 --> 00:16:33.570
who are just so focused on their dream, their

00:16:33.570 --> 00:16:36.929
passion. In Marty Supreme, it's ping pong. And

00:16:36.929 --> 00:16:39.230
in Whiplash, it's the drums. He wants to be a

00:16:39.230 --> 00:16:41.590
great drummer. Oh, right. And they're just so

00:16:41.590 --> 00:16:43.269
focused on that that everything else in their

00:16:43.269 --> 00:16:45.370
lives falls apart. And it's like they don't.

00:16:45.470 --> 00:16:47.129
Marty Supreme has kind of a happier ending than

00:16:47.129 --> 00:16:49.090
Whiplash. But it's like they're just it's the

00:16:49.090 --> 00:16:51.889
cost of living that dream. And so for Joe, he's

00:16:51.889 --> 00:16:54.539
like, I don't want to eat. I just want to. do

00:16:54.539 --> 00:16:55.759
this thing. That's what's going to help me be

00:16:55.759 --> 00:16:58.179
successful. Like if you, when he dies, he has

00:16:58.179 --> 00:17:01.039
this experience where he sees his life flash

00:17:01.039 --> 00:17:03.059
before. And he's like, he realizes comparing

00:17:03.059 --> 00:17:05.079
himself to the other philosopher that he kind

00:17:05.079 --> 00:17:07.279
of took the spot up. He's like, my life was meaningless

00:17:07.279 --> 00:17:08.980
because he didn't have any big accomplishments.

00:17:09.119 --> 00:17:11.180
He, that's what he, that's what he, that was

00:17:11.180 --> 00:17:13.240
a success look like for him in life is that having

00:17:13.240 --> 00:17:14.640
this big conscience didn't have those. And so

00:17:14.640 --> 00:17:16.680
we feel like his life was meaningless. But, um,

00:17:16.920 --> 00:17:20.589
anyway, it just, the whole idea of. success in

00:17:20.589 --> 00:17:21.950
your life and finding meaning in your life through

00:17:21.950 --> 00:17:24.009
all the little moments is what actually makes

00:17:24.009 --> 00:17:25.269
a meaningful life, especially helping others

00:17:25.269 --> 00:17:31.529
and serving others. his spark was to play jazz.

00:17:31.569 --> 00:17:33.089
And he thought that that was his purpose. Yes.

00:17:33.170 --> 00:17:35.829
And I love the line with the Jerry where he's

00:17:35.829 --> 00:17:38.210
like, my purpose is piano. And the Jerry's like,

00:17:38.329 --> 00:17:40.490
Oh, you humans and your passions, like your sparks,

00:17:40.490 --> 00:17:42.630
not your purpose. Like it's so basic. Like that's

00:17:42.630 --> 00:17:44.210
not your, that's not why you're here on this

00:17:44.210 --> 00:17:46.250
planet is to play piano. Like that's so basic.

00:17:46.789 --> 00:17:49.250
So anyway, I love that exchange too. And, and

00:17:49.250 --> 00:17:52.569
one of the ways that as we kind of see 22 and

00:17:52.569 --> 00:17:55.329
Joe start to experience some things together,

00:17:55.410 --> 00:17:58.299
right. Where 22 ends up. taking over joe's body

00:17:58.299 --> 00:18:01.740
right so she's doing things and so for so long

00:18:01.740 --> 00:18:03.400
she didn't want to live because she couldn't

00:18:03.400 --> 00:18:06.059
find a spark suddenly she starts appreciating

00:18:06.059 --> 00:18:10.299
things yeah right um like the taste of pizza

00:18:10.299 --> 00:18:13.819
yeah right like uh she sees one of these trees

00:18:13.819 --> 00:18:16.279
that have the the seeds that fall down and spin

00:18:16.279 --> 00:18:20.880
right and she sees one of those and um and this

00:18:20.880 --> 00:18:22.339
is another one that i want to get your take on

00:18:23.119 --> 00:18:25.660
Because basically she asked him like, well, hey,

00:18:25.779 --> 00:18:29.000
could my purpose be like sky watching? Could

00:18:29.000 --> 00:18:31.119
my purpose be walking? Because walking is so

00:18:31.119 --> 00:18:34.960
great. And he says, those aren't purposes, 22.

00:18:35.200 --> 00:18:39.539
That's just regular old living. What's the lesson

00:18:39.539 --> 00:18:41.339
there? Because it's right in line with what you're

00:18:41.339 --> 00:18:42.799
talking about, right? What's the lesson there?

00:18:43.579 --> 00:18:47.220
Yeah. Yeah. It's an interesting moment where

00:18:47.220 --> 00:18:49.849
he says that at first and it kind of. makes 22

00:18:49.849 --> 00:18:52.190
spiral where she's like i want to go find my

00:18:52.190 --> 00:18:53.750
purpose and she runs away right as they're about

00:18:53.750 --> 00:18:56.230
to switch their bodies and then it comes back

00:18:56.230 --> 00:18:59.250
again at the end when he like realizes he got

00:18:59.250 --> 00:19:01.650
what he wanted it wasn't actually what was going

00:19:01.650 --> 00:19:03.470
to fulfill him in life and so he goes back to

00:19:03.470 --> 00:19:06.069
find 22 because it would become a lost soul and

00:19:06.069 --> 00:19:08.549
then in there like he's like in this i don't

00:19:08.549 --> 00:19:10.950
know darkness with her and like all these you

00:19:10.950 --> 00:19:12.789
know ghosts or whatever talking to them and stuff

00:19:12.789 --> 00:19:15.210
and that line just kind of keeps coming up but

00:19:16.009 --> 00:19:18.549
i listening to the writers talk about soul and

00:19:18.549 --> 00:19:20.710
they talk about like the purpose of life is life

00:19:20.710 --> 00:19:23.269
itself like it is to dance while the music is

00:19:23.269 --> 00:19:25.670
being played and it is to like experience the

00:19:25.670 --> 00:19:28.309
the reality and like the beauties of life and

00:19:28.309 --> 00:19:30.890
we just get so caught up in these certain things

00:19:30.890 --> 00:19:33.029
that sky watching can absolutely be your purpose

00:19:33.029 --> 00:19:35.029
of just like enjoying that moment or enjoying

00:19:35.029 --> 00:19:38.029
the taste of pizza or the sucker or the interaction

00:19:38.029 --> 00:19:39.950
with the barber like those little moments are

00:19:39.950 --> 00:19:41.930
really the culmination of those what makes a

00:19:41.930 --> 00:19:44.430
beautiful meaningful life it's not I was able

00:19:44.430 --> 00:19:46.470
to play at a jazz band or I won an NBA championship.

00:19:46.549 --> 00:19:48.849
That's not really what success is about at the

00:19:48.849 --> 00:19:50.289
end of the day. You know what I'm saying? Absolutely.

00:19:50.450 --> 00:19:53.930
And to that point, I mean, that's one of the

00:19:53.930 --> 00:19:57.009
things that I think Joe ended up commenting on.

00:19:57.029 --> 00:20:00.329
I wrote this one down. And you mentioned earlier,

00:20:00.609 --> 00:20:03.490
but it just perfectly fits in with that. After

00:20:03.490 --> 00:20:06.630
he plays with that jazz band, and he did great.

00:20:07.369 --> 00:20:09.430
He says, I've been waiting on this day my whole

00:20:09.430 --> 00:20:11.450
life. I just thought it would feel different.

00:20:12.279 --> 00:20:14.299
And you sometimes hear that with people who,

00:20:14.420 --> 00:20:16.180
especially in the sports world, it's really easy

00:20:16.180 --> 00:20:19.480
to identify that as a type for what we do and

00:20:19.480 --> 00:20:22.259
experience. But somebody goes and wins a tournament

00:20:22.259 --> 00:20:24.079
or wins a championship, right? And they have

00:20:24.079 --> 00:20:27.380
that thing in that moment. They have joy. But

00:20:27.380 --> 00:20:30.259
then right after, if that's been the only thing,

00:20:30.319 --> 00:20:35.539
their only focus, it's a huge letdown. And I

00:20:35.539 --> 00:20:37.940
want to read another quote from, I believe, somebody

00:20:37.940 --> 00:20:40.720
who you really like. We'll see if you recognize

00:20:40.720 --> 00:20:45.470
it. This author said, realize deeply that the

00:20:45.470 --> 00:20:49.289
present moment is all you ever have. Make the

00:20:49.289 --> 00:20:53.289
now the primary focus of your life. So that's

00:20:53.289 --> 00:20:55.529
Eckhart Tolle from The Power of Now. Because

00:20:55.529 --> 00:20:58.250
that's an author you really like, right? We talked

00:20:58.250 --> 00:21:02.109
about that before. What does that mean to you?

00:21:02.210 --> 00:21:05.299
And let's relate that to like... what you were

00:21:05.299 --> 00:21:07.039
doing on your podcast the advice that you were

00:21:07.039 --> 00:21:08.519
giving to couples as they're getting ready to

00:21:08.519 --> 00:21:10.359
get married right realize deeply the present

00:21:10.359 --> 00:21:12.539
moment is all you ever have make the now the

00:21:12.539 --> 00:21:19.680
primary focus of your life yeah i i think that

00:21:19.680 --> 00:21:24.099
it's really easy for us to get lost in the past

00:21:24.099 --> 00:21:26.259
or even get lost in planning for the future that

00:21:26.259 --> 00:21:29.460
we're missing moments now um my oldest daughter,

00:21:29.539 --> 00:21:32.240
her name is Rosie. And we, there was a couple

00:21:32.240 --> 00:21:34.140
of kind of fun connections, but we didn't decide

00:21:34.140 --> 00:21:37.119
on the name until like my, we were in the hospital,

00:21:37.140 --> 00:21:39.119
like about to give birth. And we had a couple

00:21:39.119 --> 00:21:41.720
of names and we both landed on Rosie. And what

00:21:41.720 --> 00:21:43.839
really swayed me was the idea of stopping and

00:21:43.839 --> 00:21:45.740
smelling the roses of like, I wanted her to be

00:21:45.740 --> 00:21:48.299
that reminder and let live that like life's purpose

00:21:48.299 --> 00:21:51.019
of stopping and smelling the roses. And so I

00:21:51.019 --> 00:21:54.380
think that living in the now, like. For example,

00:21:54.440 --> 00:21:56.720
like I remember a couple of months ago, I went

00:21:56.720 --> 00:21:58.819
on a walk. I love to go. I go on walks all the

00:21:58.819 --> 00:22:01.440
time in my office. But I had like I realized

00:22:01.440 --> 00:22:05.039
in my walk I was so scattered and I like stopped.

00:22:05.160 --> 00:22:06.819
I got to be present. And I found a little golf

00:22:06.819 --> 00:22:09.599
ball. Like it was like a little token of if I

00:22:09.599 --> 00:22:10.880
hadn't been present, I would have missed it.

00:22:10.960 --> 00:22:13.099
Or I've had other times where I'm just so focused

00:22:13.099 --> 00:22:15.059
on whatever I'm doing and like whatever challenges

00:22:15.059 --> 00:22:17.880
are going on. I go on a walk and I see. i see

00:22:17.880 --> 00:22:20.480
like a beautiful yellow bird or i see geese in

00:22:20.480 --> 00:22:22.359
the field or i see a duck in the pond and it

00:22:22.359 --> 00:22:24.299
just like snaps me out of it like those little

00:22:24.299 --> 00:22:26.700
moments of stillness those little moments of

00:22:26.700 --> 00:22:30.960
being present now to like This really isn't that

00:22:30.960 --> 00:22:33.400
big of a deal. I'll actually write another quote

00:22:33.400 --> 00:22:37.440
here. I love this quote. I saw this on someone

00:22:37.440 --> 00:22:39.380
had spray painted on a wall, but it was like,

00:22:39.400 --> 00:22:42.440
you are a ghost driving a meat -coated skeleton

00:22:42.440 --> 00:22:45.299
made from stardust riding on a rock floating

00:22:45.299 --> 00:22:48.140
through space. If you just really zoom out, it's

00:22:48.140 --> 00:22:51.279
like nothing is really that. critical in our

00:22:51.279 --> 00:22:53.640
lives you know what really matters is what are

00:22:53.640 --> 00:22:55.339
you doing now and are you present in this moment

00:22:55.339 --> 00:22:58.119
are you like are you any like i don't know i

00:22:58.119 --> 00:23:01.240
just it is such a true thing that when we start

00:23:01.240 --> 00:23:03.880
getting so bogged down in our life our day -to

00:23:03.880 --> 00:23:06.220
-day what's going on that really if you just

00:23:06.220 --> 00:23:07.960
zoom into this moment right now there's really

00:23:07.960 --> 00:23:11.059
nothing to at the end of the day be that worked

00:23:11.059 --> 00:23:15.160
up about you know before we jump back in can

00:23:15.160 --> 00:23:17.839
i ask you a quick favor if you're enjoying the

00:23:17.839 --> 00:23:21.299
journey so far Will you like rate and subscribe

00:23:21.299 --> 00:23:24.240
to our show? It helps us reach more people like

00:23:24.240 --> 00:23:27.680
you. We can design and create and build the most

00:23:27.680 --> 00:23:30.539
wonderful place in the world, but it takes people

00:23:30.539 --> 00:23:35.279
to make the dream a reality. And I think for

00:23:35.279 --> 00:23:37.119
me, what this highlights is the importance that

00:23:37.119 --> 00:23:40.380
we have of, we do, I mean, we need to have goals,

00:23:40.480 --> 00:23:41.720
right? We need to have things where we're saying

00:23:41.720 --> 00:23:44.119
like, let's get alignment. Yeah. Where, where

00:23:44.119 --> 00:23:46.240
are we wanting to go? Like, what are we wanting

00:23:46.240 --> 00:23:50.019
to accomplish? But you set those out, and then

00:23:50.019 --> 00:23:52.539
you live in the moment. Then you live and be

00:23:52.539 --> 00:23:54.319
present with what you're doing. You're on this

00:23:54.319 --> 00:23:58.259
path. Enjoy this path because it is the path.

00:23:59.019 --> 00:24:03.339
And it's easy for us to do the opposite of that

00:24:03.339 --> 00:24:05.240
on either end, right? Either have no goals, so

00:24:05.240 --> 00:24:06.819
now we're wandering around aimlessly without

00:24:06.819 --> 00:24:10.019
any purpose, which doesn't help either, or we're

00:24:10.019 --> 00:24:12.079
so focused on some goal in the future that we

00:24:12.079 --> 00:24:13.940
forget to take those moments to stop and smell

00:24:13.940 --> 00:24:17.170
the roses. We forget to... appreciate the things

00:24:17.170 --> 00:24:20.950
that are going on and the the great things we

00:24:20.950 --> 00:24:22.630
have or i would say like the blessings that we

00:24:22.630 --> 00:24:24.710
have right absolutely wherever you believe those

00:24:24.710 --> 00:24:26.970
blessings come from that that you have those

00:24:26.970 --> 00:24:31.309
things in your life that can bring you joy what's

00:24:31.309 --> 00:24:35.109
for you what's the difference in finding the

00:24:35.109 --> 00:24:38.849
happiness or joy once that thing comes which

00:24:38.849 --> 00:24:42.359
may end up being hollow Or finding joy in the

00:24:42.359 --> 00:24:44.940
journey. How do you find joy in the journey?

00:24:45.019 --> 00:24:47.180
What does that mean to you? Something I've been

00:24:47.180 --> 00:24:50.019
thinking about is as I've been thinking about

00:24:50.019 --> 00:24:51.660
this podcast and just reflecting on different

00:24:51.660 --> 00:24:54.920
areas of my life, any big accomplishment I have

00:24:54.920 --> 00:24:57.160
when I reminisce, I'm not reminiscing about the

00:24:57.160 --> 00:24:59.279
moment of achieving that accomplishment. I'm

00:24:59.279 --> 00:25:01.359
reminiscing about the process, about what I did,

00:25:01.519 --> 00:25:04.440
what happened, the obstacles we overcame to get

00:25:04.440 --> 00:25:06.039
there. Those are the moments I really think about

00:25:06.039 --> 00:25:10.039
and I really love. It just comes back down to

00:25:10.039 --> 00:25:13.279
that. So that process of like the end is really

00:25:13.279 --> 00:25:15.660
not what's going to be the moment that you feel

00:25:15.660 --> 00:25:18.299
like I'm fixed or I'm whole now. It's like it's

00:25:18.299 --> 00:25:20.559
just finding those like when you reflect back

00:25:20.559 --> 00:25:22.140
on the moments, those are those little things

00:25:22.140 --> 00:25:24.039
when you came together to overcome something.

00:25:24.160 --> 00:25:25.619
Those are the moments that you really look back

00:25:25.619 --> 00:25:28.680
on with the most admiration, the most excitement

00:25:28.680 --> 00:25:31.200
and love and joy that I think I think it really

00:25:31.200 --> 00:25:33.640
matters. But to answer your question about how

00:25:33.640 --> 00:25:35.559
do you do it? I think it does come back down

00:25:35.559 --> 00:25:37.990
to. the presence that like being, being aware

00:25:37.990 --> 00:25:40.230
of the moment and like stopping. And like, it's

00:25:40.230 --> 00:25:42.309
E so easy for us to just float through our days.

00:25:42.329 --> 00:25:44.450
And like, you know, you're driving to and from

00:25:44.450 --> 00:25:45.890
work, you want to work and you're just kind of

00:25:45.890 --> 00:25:47.789
in this zombie mode, autopilot is doing your

00:25:47.789 --> 00:25:50.460
thing. And so. having triggers, whether it's

00:25:50.460 --> 00:25:52.980
like maybe walking through a door that like triggers

00:25:52.980 --> 00:25:54.700
you back to get into, you stand up a little bit

00:25:54.700 --> 00:25:56.640
straighter and you're, you're present or you

00:25:56.640 --> 00:25:58.160
just have little moments that help you come back

00:25:58.160 --> 00:26:00.619
to the present moment, little triggers that I

00:26:00.619 --> 00:26:02.440
think can help you to like really realize like

00:26:02.440 --> 00:26:04.880
how beautiful the day is or what, you know, I

00:26:04.880 --> 00:26:07.420
think there's lots of little moments, but I think

00:26:07.420 --> 00:26:10.039
it comes back down to awareness. Yeah. I love

00:26:10.039 --> 00:26:14.119
that point. And it, it just, it leads right into

00:26:14.119 --> 00:26:16.380
this quote that I found from John Batiste, right?

00:26:17.240 --> 00:26:20.500
who is an amazing musician, obviously Grammy

00:26:20.500 --> 00:26:24.059
Award winner, and wrote, again, much of the music

00:26:24.059 --> 00:26:26.599
for this movie. He's also got a lot of other

00:26:26.599 --> 00:26:29.160
great things out there. Just this morning, I

00:26:29.160 --> 00:26:31.420
actually just happened to come across him. It

00:26:31.420 --> 00:26:34.559
was the next in my lineup of Adam Grant's podcast

00:26:34.559 --> 00:26:37.019
that I listen to because I love it. And he was

00:26:37.019 --> 00:26:38.859
on it with his wife. And it was just like, oh,

00:26:38.880 --> 00:26:40.599
my goodness, this is like the perfect thing for

00:26:40.599 --> 00:26:43.259
me to be listening to this guy. But I got a quote

00:26:43.259 --> 00:26:45.059
from him, and he was talking specifically about

00:26:45.059 --> 00:26:48.329
soul. And he says, Joe Gardner represents many

00:26:48.329 --> 00:26:50.470
of my beliefs about jazz and the way that it

00:26:50.470 --> 00:26:53.750
can take you and the audience to a special place

00:26:53.750 --> 00:26:56.730
tied into our spirit and soul. That's when we're

00:26:56.730 --> 00:26:59.369
tapping into the spark that makes us all unique

00:26:59.369 --> 00:27:01.630
individuals. And so when you're talking about

00:27:01.630 --> 00:27:04.250
like things that kind of take you where you want

00:27:04.250 --> 00:27:06.250
to go and like things that you're stopping and

00:27:06.250 --> 00:27:09.250
recognizing those things, to me, so many times

00:27:09.250 --> 00:27:12.250
art forms can do that for us. When I think about

00:27:12.250 --> 00:27:15.099
like, okay, in the movie. joe's playing right

00:27:15.099 --> 00:27:17.259
and he gets kind of lost in it but so does the

00:27:17.259 --> 00:27:21.099
audience with him and what i really love is like

00:27:21.099 --> 00:27:23.539
everybody has their own art form that they like

00:27:23.539 --> 00:27:26.720
yeah for me for whatever reason it's it's theater

00:27:26.720 --> 00:27:28.779
and it's like live theater like musical theater

00:27:28.779 --> 00:27:31.279
there's just something about it that i can watch

00:27:31.279 --> 00:27:34.279
and just appreciating the talent of the people

00:27:34.279 --> 00:27:36.720
that i'm watching feeling immersed in the story

00:27:36.720 --> 00:27:39.180
and what it's teaching me and what lessons i

00:27:39.180 --> 00:27:42.000
have there What is that art form for you? What's

00:27:42.000 --> 00:27:45.480
the art form that you watch or you see or you

00:27:45.480 --> 00:27:48.319
hear? And it just like really connects to your

00:27:48.319 --> 00:27:51.039
soul. Good question. I think some of the, what

00:27:51.039 --> 00:27:52.259
came to my mind when you were talking, I don't

00:27:52.259 --> 00:27:53.900
know if this is the right answer to the question,

00:27:53.920 --> 00:27:56.319
but I do have experiences when I'm listening

00:27:56.319 --> 00:28:00.000
to music, when I just focus on one instrument.

00:28:00.509 --> 00:28:02.849
of that song or like i really just like kind

00:28:02.849 --> 00:28:03.950
of put everything out and i just i'm listening

00:28:03.950 --> 00:28:06.309
to like the piano and i'm just like zoning into

00:28:06.309 --> 00:28:08.910
the piano or the flute or the violin and like

00:28:08.910 --> 00:28:11.349
just how that and then like maybe i switch and

00:28:11.349 --> 00:28:13.930
i do now i just listen to other aspect of it

00:28:13.930 --> 00:28:16.170
and it's such an interesting experience to do

00:28:16.170 --> 00:28:19.849
that and like have it just like just it's so

00:28:19.849 --> 00:28:22.619
amazing that it's all coming together so perfectly

00:28:22.619 --> 00:28:25.400
like everything's in sync and if if you took

00:28:25.400 --> 00:28:27.480
out the guitar it wouldn't sound the same but

00:28:27.480 --> 00:28:29.640
because they all have their their place there

00:28:29.640 --> 00:28:31.119
it all comes together and it's really fun to

00:28:31.119 --> 00:28:33.000
listen that way so i don't know if that that's

00:28:33.000 --> 00:28:34.299
something that an experience i've had a couple

00:28:34.299 --> 00:28:36.359
times that i really i don't know it's just kind

00:28:36.359 --> 00:28:38.220
of a fun like puts me back in the present moment

00:28:38.220 --> 00:28:40.740
it helps me to appreciate the art that this is

00:28:40.740 --> 00:28:42.700
i think movies can be like that for sure and

00:28:42.700 --> 00:28:46.400
uh those are a couple that jump out to me i i

00:28:46.400 --> 00:28:49.480
think that one of the things that sometimes especially

00:28:49.480 --> 00:28:52.880
we grow older right as we're adults one of the

00:28:52.880 --> 00:28:56.299
things that we sometimes miss is that feeling

00:28:56.299 --> 00:29:00.259
of wonder you know um the wonder that you had

00:29:00.259 --> 00:29:01.720
as you're listening to this instrument and that

00:29:01.720 --> 00:29:03.180
instrument and that it can all come together

00:29:03.180 --> 00:29:04.819
so beautifully and create something beautiful

00:29:04.819 --> 00:29:08.579
and as kids we have it like it's like everything

00:29:08.579 --> 00:29:10.259
new like oh my goodness like this thing is amazing

00:29:10.259 --> 00:29:11.700
i remember walking to disneyland the first time

00:29:11.700 --> 00:29:13.960
like this feeling of wonderment oh my goodness

00:29:13.960 --> 00:29:17.400
this is unbelievable And as we get older, if

00:29:17.400 --> 00:29:19.079
we lose that, I think we lose some of the joy

00:29:19.079 --> 00:29:20.740
in life. I think we lose some of the joy of living.

00:29:21.019 --> 00:29:23.880
But if we can remind ourselves of that and then

00:29:23.880 --> 00:29:25.119
take those moments and be like, I'm going to

00:29:25.119 --> 00:29:27.660
listen to this song. I like this. I love doing

00:29:27.660 --> 00:29:30.279
this. I love what this is like. I just think

00:29:30.279 --> 00:29:33.619
it brings some more of that joy as we're experiencing

00:29:33.619 --> 00:29:36.480
life. Yeah, you reminded me of a book I read

00:29:36.480 --> 00:29:39.000
recently called The Art of Spending Money. from

00:29:39.000 --> 00:29:41.200
Morgan Housel, super great book. But he shared

00:29:41.200 --> 00:29:43.779
this experience with this man who was blind his

00:29:43.779 --> 00:29:47.940
whole life. He's like up to his forties and he'd

00:29:47.940 --> 00:29:50.039
had a surgery where he could then see, and he

00:29:50.039 --> 00:29:52.720
was in the hospital and he was freaking out because

00:29:52.720 --> 00:29:55.259
of the carpet. He's like, that's blue. Like,

00:29:55.299 --> 00:29:57.119
are you kidding me? Like, how are you people

00:29:57.119 --> 00:29:58.880
just like going about your days when this carpet

00:29:58.880 --> 00:30:00.779
is in this room? And he like, he just was seeing

00:30:00.779 --> 00:30:02.519
the carpet. And I like, it just hit me so hard.

00:30:03.309 --> 00:30:04.609
Yeah, like, there's those little moments, and

00:30:04.609 --> 00:30:06.490
you can imagine, like, how it was when we went

00:30:06.490 --> 00:30:08.190
outside and saw the sky and saw, like, all these

00:30:08.190 --> 00:30:11.630
things for the first time. Anyway, I just love

00:30:11.630 --> 00:30:14.509
that experience and, you know, the wonderment.

00:30:14.650 --> 00:30:15.970
I think that's one of the beautiful things about

00:30:15.970 --> 00:30:19.990
having kids. Yes. Because I think it helps to

00:30:19.990 --> 00:30:23.269
remind us of that sometimes when we get really

00:30:23.269 --> 00:30:26.849
busy and we have a lot of things going. You know,

00:30:26.890 --> 00:30:28.309
I can just think about just in the last couple

00:30:28.309 --> 00:30:31.250
of weeks, right? You know, my youngest daughter,

00:30:31.329 --> 00:30:34.309
who's six. We've had her join this little choir.

00:30:34.369 --> 00:30:37.069
She's getting singing lessons, which is so odd

00:30:37.069 --> 00:30:40.650
for our family because I can't sing at all. My

00:30:40.650 --> 00:30:42.710
other three kids, maybe it's hidden and we don't

00:30:42.710 --> 00:30:44.329
know, but I don't think they can either. But

00:30:44.329 --> 00:30:45.829
she's shown this like inclination to be able

00:30:45.829 --> 00:30:47.549
to sing. And it just so happened to be this new

00:30:47.549 --> 00:30:49.630
neighborhood we moved into had this lady who

00:30:49.630 --> 00:30:51.329
teaches singing lessons and has this great little

00:30:51.329 --> 00:30:54.210
choir. And we're going to her first performance,

00:30:54.470 --> 00:30:57.490
right? And she gets to sing. It's a single line,

00:30:57.589 --> 00:31:01.420
right? Two bars, a single line, a solo. this

00:31:01.420 --> 00:31:04.660
choir and just just having this wonder about

00:31:04.660 --> 00:31:07.180
her being able to do it and this joy that I feel

00:31:07.180 --> 00:31:10.380
and seeing her have so much joy in doing it you

00:31:10.380 --> 00:31:14.059
know and it's like those moments in life are

00:31:14.059 --> 00:31:16.480
in my mind that's part of what we're talking

00:31:16.480 --> 00:31:19.460
about here of like building your life of fulfillment

00:31:19.460 --> 00:31:24.019
and happiness right it's not because she's gonna

00:31:24.019 --> 00:31:27.440
go win some award doing it It's because she's

00:31:27.440 --> 00:31:29.299
actually really loved doing the singing thing,

00:31:29.400 --> 00:31:31.480
and her teacher's been able to unlock in her

00:31:31.480 --> 00:31:34.759
her voice, which is so cool. So now she's not

00:31:34.759 --> 00:31:37.880
so shy to sing. Now she's willing to, and she's

00:31:37.880 --> 00:31:40.720
willing to do it in front of this audience. And

00:31:40.720 --> 00:31:46.079
those moments bring me back to living in the

00:31:46.079 --> 00:31:49.659
moment, living in the present moment. feeling

00:31:49.659 --> 00:31:52.319
those feelings of being fulfilled, even when

00:31:52.319 --> 00:31:54.220
I have other things that are sometimes stressing

00:31:54.220 --> 00:31:57.619
me. It was so nice because that particular day,

00:31:57.779 --> 00:32:02.480
it was a pretty hard day at work, right? And

00:32:02.480 --> 00:32:06.180
I had a pretty hard week that prior week. But

00:32:06.180 --> 00:32:08.140
that all went away. It's like, I don't know.

00:32:08.420 --> 00:32:10.660
Life's actually really great. I can deal with

00:32:10.660 --> 00:32:12.400
those things when I get back to the office. I

00:32:12.400 --> 00:32:15.720
will have to, but I don't have to let it dominate

00:32:15.720 --> 00:32:18.299
my thoughts and my feelings. What do you do to

00:32:18.299 --> 00:32:20.819
shake yourself out of it if you're in that situation

00:32:20.819 --> 00:32:22.940
that we all sometimes find ourselves in where

00:32:22.940 --> 00:32:27.220
we aren't living in the moment? We're Joe Gardner,

00:32:27.279 --> 00:32:29.319
and we're like, oh, my life is meaningless. What's

00:32:29.319 --> 00:32:31.480
the point? Oh, it's horrible. I'm not getting

00:32:31.480 --> 00:32:33.759
what I want. What do you do to shake yourself

00:32:33.759 --> 00:32:36.680
out of it? I have found that being in nature,

00:32:37.579 --> 00:32:39.259
you know, like I was kind of sharing some experiences

00:32:39.259 --> 00:32:41.539
going on walks. Like I remember being really

00:32:41.539 --> 00:32:43.380
bogged down with work stuff. I went on a walk

00:32:43.380 --> 00:32:45.519
and I just saw all these geese in the field were

00:32:45.519 --> 00:32:47.299
just eating. And it made me think about, you

00:32:47.299 --> 00:32:50.200
know, the scriptures of, about God, you know,

00:32:50.200 --> 00:32:52.519
he, he takes care of the fowls in the field.

00:32:52.579 --> 00:32:53.980
Like how much more does he not care about and

00:32:53.980 --> 00:32:56.750
love you? uh if he's willing to feed them and

00:32:56.750 --> 00:32:58.549
like i was like all these birds just going about

00:32:58.549 --> 00:33:00.029
their lives just find their worms they're just

00:33:00.029 --> 00:33:01.369
doing their thing and all i'm doing is going

00:33:01.369 --> 00:33:03.049
about my life finding my worm like why am i getting

00:33:03.049 --> 00:33:05.230
so worked up about that so i feel like nature

00:33:05.230 --> 00:33:07.049
has a way of snapping me back out i love going

00:33:07.049 --> 00:33:09.029
into the mountains going to hike and just seeing

00:33:09.029 --> 00:33:12.049
the vista just seeing like i am in one tiny little

00:33:12.049 --> 00:33:14.230
section of the whole world and this little section

00:33:14.230 --> 00:33:16.710
is beautiful but if i really zoom out this place

00:33:16.710 --> 00:33:20.230
is so big there is so much going on here And

00:33:20.230 --> 00:33:22.529
it just helps me to get perspective on like,

00:33:22.609 --> 00:33:24.970
if I'm really so zoomed into what I'm working

00:33:24.970 --> 00:33:27.190
on and what I'm, you know, what I'm focused on

00:33:27.190 --> 00:33:29.970
that, like backing things up, seeing some beautiful

00:33:29.970 --> 00:33:32.230
things, a beautiful site and just realizing my

00:33:32.230 --> 00:33:34.009
place in the world and just trying to influence

00:33:34.009 --> 00:33:35.829
things and do the best I can. That's really all

00:33:35.829 --> 00:33:38.089
I can ask myself. So I think there's been a couple

00:33:38.089 --> 00:33:41.740
of things that. Whether sometimes I try to intentionally

00:33:41.740 --> 00:33:44.940
put myself into it or God or I have an experience

00:33:44.940 --> 00:33:47.720
that just helps me to snap back out of this funk

00:33:47.720 --> 00:33:49.519
that I'm in. I feel like I've been grateful to

00:33:49.519 --> 00:33:52.539
have those moments in my life. Have you ever

00:33:52.539 --> 00:33:57.180
had an experience where things were really hard?

00:33:57.299 --> 00:34:00.539
Have you experienced a really big trial in your

00:34:00.539 --> 00:34:04.960
life that was something that was pretty tough,

00:34:05.059 --> 00:34:08.260
pretty dark, pretty difficult? And if so, what...

00:34:08.409 --> 00:34:10.110
What did that journey out of that look like?

00:34:11.030 --> 00:34:13.010
Yeah, it's a good question. I definitely haven't

00:34:13.010 --> 00:34:16.389
had, like, when I was in seventh, eighth grade,

00:34:16.429 --> 00:34:18.110
I had a really good friend of mine pass away

00:34:18.110 --> 00:34:19.750
from cancer, and that was a moment that was,

00:34:19.809 --> 00:34:24.429
yeah, that was. That young. Yeah, Jaden Lambert,

00:34:24.489 --> 00:34:26.769
shout out to Jaden. He was amazing and had some

00:34:26.769 --> 00:34:29.210
really beautiful experiences with him and just

00:34:29.210 --> 00:34:31.409
like reflecting on that. What came to my mind,

00:34:31.409 --> 00:34:35.309
I guess, like a bit of, I don't know, this is

00:34:35.309 --> 00:34:37.090
a different take on maybe your question, but.

00:34:37.559 --> 00:34:39.119
So I did door -to -door sales for three years

00:34:39.119 --> 00:34:41.639
selling pest control, and that's a hard gig.

00:34:42.639 --> 00:34:45.239
I had to remember my third summer. I was always

00:34:45.239 --> 00:34:47.679
good. I was good at selling, and I was always

00:34:47.679 --> 00:34:49.739
successful. And so I did it for three summers.

00:34:49.800 --> 00:34:51.500
My third summer was in Austin, Texas, selling

00:34:51.500 --> 00:34:53.380
pest control, and I was running a team with my

00:34:53.380 --> 00:34:56.380
friend. And I had kind of set this goal. Like,

00:34:56.380 --> 00:34:59.400
in pest control sales, if you can sell 1 ,000

00:34:59.400 --> 00:35:01.900
contracts, that's kind of like the gold standard.

00:35:02.019 --> 00:35:04.900
Like, you're elite, you know? And I had, I was

00:35:04.900 --> 00:35:06.679
like dabbling up, should I go for a thousand?

00:35:06.860 --> 00:35:08.699
I don't know. And so my first, I'm like, I'm

00:35:08.699 --> 00:35:10.920
going to go for a thousand. Why not? Uh, my first

00:35:10.920 --> 00:35:14.219
day I go and I'm knocking and I like barely get

00:35:14.219 --> 00:35:16.260
one, right? Like I just get, I sell this one

00:35:16.260 --> 00:35:18.599
Hispanic, I spoke Spanish, my mission. So I sold

00:35:18.599 --> 00:35:20.619
this like one spent like family speaking Spanish.

00:35:20.940 --> 00:35:22.800
I remember going back to my farm. I, my family

00:35:22.800 --> 00:35:25.469
hadn't made it to. Austin. Yeah. And I go up

00:35:25.469 --> 00:35:26.949
to the apartment. I just like I'm just like laying

00:35:26.949 --> 00:35:29.349
on the ground, like, you know, I kind of overwhelmed

00:35:29.349 --> 00:35:33.070
by that goal, overwhelmed by my performance and

00:35:33.070 --> 00:35:35.750
just like really feeling like, what am I doing?

00:35:36.750 --> 00:35:39.389
And so I did like a little meditation, just laying

00:35:39.389 --> 00:35:41.929
on the ground and talking to I had hired a coach

00:35:41.929 --> 00:35:43.429
that year to help me work through some things.

00:35:43.449 --> 00:35:47.679
And. Anyway, just kind of changing my goal and

00:35:47.679 --> 00:35:49.539
got to 500. Anyway, it was a whole thing, but

00:35:49.539 --> 00:35:51.480
I remember that moment of being just like so

00:35:51.480 --> 00:35:54.039
overwhelmed and so burdened, but then contrast

00:35:54.039 --> 00:35:56.380
that with reaching the goal. I ended up changing

00:35:56.380 --> 00:35:59.360
my goal to 500, reaching that goal, getting through

00:35:59.360 --> 00:36:01.079
it, showing up every day, chopping wood, carrying

00:36:01.079 --> 00:36:04.400
water, and then, yeah, achieving that was kind

00:36:04.400 --> 00:36:07.159
of a special moment of kind of coming through.

00:36:07.239 --> 00:36:09.780
But anyway, that was what jumped into my mind

00:36:09.780 --> 00:36:12.460
with that question. So that, I mean, that kind

00:36:12.460 --> 00:36:13.699
of brings to my mind a couple other questions

00:36:13.699 --> 00:36:16.820
I have for you then. So, you know, in life, early

00:36:16.820 --> 00:36:18.059
on in this conversation, we're talking about,

00:36:18.099 --> 00:36:19.639
like, sometimes, you know, we're going down a

00:36:19.639 --> 00:36:22.219
certain path and life takes a different direction.

00:36:23.039 --> 00:36:24.780
And it's not necessarily a bad thing, right?

00:36:25.199 --> 00:36:26.739
And so kind of what I've heard is, like, you

00:36:26.739 --> 00:36:28.000
had this one where, like, it was going to be

00:36:28.000 --> 00:36:29.480
1 ,000, but in reality, like, it ended up being

00:36:29.480 --> 00:36:32.639
500. And that was the right goal because of what

00:36:32.639 --> 00:36:34.360
it was there and what you could accomplish and

00:36:34.360 --> 00:36:36.949
what you were doing. You had this great podcast,

00:36:37.170 --> 00:36:39.210
right? And then at some point in time, you guys

00:36:39.210 --> 00:36:41.429
decided to stop doing the podcast. And so life

00:36:41.429 --> 00:36:44.050
took you in a different direction. What guidance

00:36:44.050 --> 00:36:47.070
would you have for people when you're trying

00:36:47.070 --> 00:36:49.469
to experience the joy and find the fulfillment

00:36:49.469 --> 00:36:51.690
in life, and sometimes that means you've got

00:36:51.690 --> 00:36:55.590
to make a change? Yeah, that's a good question.

00:36:56.110 --> 00:37:00.710
I think making any changes in your life, I found

00:37:00.710 --> 00:37:06.900
a lot of... I don't know exactly how to put this,

00:37:06.960 --> 00:37:09.500
but just in talking and counseling with my wife,

00:37:09.619 --> 00:37:12.800
I found so much wisdom from her and being able

00:37:12.800 --> 00:37:15.280
to come to her with challenges I'm going through

00:37:15.280 --> 00:37:17.199
or like just being able to have someone to counsel

00:37:17.199 --> 00:37:20.079
with. Oh, that's yeah. That's the other apparent,

00:37:20.320 --> 00:37:22.780
the Lord. I feel like in making those decisions

00:37:22.780 --> 00:37:24.960
has been, and even journaling, I feel like journaling

00:37:24.960 --> 00:37:27.179
too and getting those thoughts down have been

00:37:27.179 --> 00:37:30.650
so impactful to really help. me pinpoint the

00:37:30.650 --> 00:37:32.170
direction we need to go and like hey if we're

00:37:32.170 --> 00:37:34.250
feeling like we need to change this like so for

00:37:34.250 --> 00:37:36.150
that goal of going from a thousand it was counseling

00:37:36.150 --> 00:37:38.489
with that coach i'd hired he's like hey mission

00:37:38.489 --> 00:37:40.530
1000 could still be on the board but let's go

00:37:40.530 --> 00:37:42.449
through mission 500 first like let's hit 500

00:37:42.449 --> 00:37:45.389
first and then when i chose that 500 it was that

00:37:45.389 --> 00:37:47.329
weight lifted off like i don't have to sell 10

00:37:47.329 --> 00:37:48.849
every day like i can just go out there and be

00:37:48.849 --> 00:37:51.429
my best and show up and not have this pressure

00:37:51.429 --> 00:37:53.530
not have the stress and be able to refine that

00:37:53.530 --> 00:37:57.170
um and so i really think that journaling counseling

00:37:57.170 --> 00:37:59.409
with others you know taking it to the lord in

00:37:59.409 --> 00:38:01.110
prayer i think are some of the most helpful things

00:38:01.110 --> 00:38:03.010
to help you make those big shifts that you need

00:38:03.010 --> 00:38:04.989
to make in your life at times you know yeah and

00:38:04.989 --> 00:38:07.710
and you bring up an interesting one which um

00:38:07.710 --> 00:38:09.969
i find very difficult for myself to do which

00:38:09.969 --> 00:38:12.170
is journaling and the reason i say it's interesting

00:38:12.170 --> 00:38:14.949
is um in that podcast that i was listening to

00:38:14.949 --> 00:38:17.789
with john batiste and his wife they both do it

00:38:17.789 --> 00:38:21.190
religiously and not only do they do it individually

00:38:21.190 --> 00:38:23.909
they actually journal together that's amazing

00:38:23.909 --> 00:38:26.610
which is actually Kind of cool. I'd never heard

00:38:26.610 --> 00:38:28.449
of that idea before. They explained that we're

00:38:28.449 --> 00:38:31.670
basically like in their own journal, they'll

00:38:31.670 --> 00:38:34.949
write a letter to the other and then they'll

00:38:34.949 --> 00:38:37.530
send a picture every day to each other of it.

00:38:37.610 --> 00:38:39.710
That's amazing. And they just both said that

00:38:39.710 --> 00:38:42.670
like both individually journaling, you start

00:38:42.670 --> 00:38:45.050
understanding things about yourself by doing

00:38:45.050 --> 00:38:48.050
that. And then when you have that moment to write

00:38:48.050 --> 00:38:50.250
that letter to your spouse, it's the same thing.

00:38:50.289 --> 00:38:53.400
You express things there. that you just may not

00:38:53.400 --> 00:38:55.780
have taken the time or not even realized to express

00:38:55.780 --> 00:38:58.880
to your spouse in another way. And it really

00:38:58.880 --> 00:39:01.539
unlocks something, right, in journaling. It's

00:39:01.539 --> 00:39:03.239
like got me all thinking, okay, I'm not going

00:39:03.239 --> 00:39:04.400
to go talk to my wife tonight. I'll be like,

00:39:04.460 --> 00:39:06.420
okay, honey, we can start journaling together.

00:39:06.679 --> 00:39:08.840
I might not be able to make it happen, right?

00:39:08.980 --> 00:39:11.840
I might not be able to. But there is something

00:39:11.840 --> 00:39:14.440
that gets unlocked in you when you journal for

00:39:14.440 --> 00:39:16.380
you to be able to think through and process through

00:39:16.380 --> 00:39:18.559
the things that are happening. It allows you

00:39:18.559 --> 00:39:20.619
to think about the way that you're processing

00:39:20.619 --> 00:39:24.940
things. Adam Grant and Brene Brown call it thinking

00:39:24.940 --> 00:39:27.380
about thinking, right? Like metacognition. So

00:39:27.380 --> 00:39:30.440
you do more of that when you journal, and then

00:39:30.440 --> 00:39:33.119
you can start to reshape the way that you see

00:39:33.119 --> 00:39:35.760
things, the way that you see life, and start

00:39:35.760 --> 00:39:39.880
to see it as more of the process of becoming

00:39:39.880 --> 00:39:44.420
as opposed to just the end destination. So in

00:39:44.420 --> 00:39:46.739
the movie... We've already kind of talked about

00:39:46.739 --> 00:39:48.980
it, but I want to get this as we kind of fill

00:39:48.980 --> 00:39:54.380
out this arc. One of the things that Joe ends

00:39:54.380 --> 00:39:59.059
up saying to 22 is a spark isn't your purpose.

00:39:59.199 --> 00:40:01.780
Your spark comes when you're ready to start living.

00:40:03.000 --> 00:40:05.440
Because 22 kept waiting for what is my spark?

00:40:05.519 --> 00:40:07.059
What's that thing going to be that I have to

00:40:07.059 --> 00:40:10.719
have? And then Jerry, is it Jerry? Like all the

00:40:10.719 --> 00:40:13.280
Jerrys had told Joe, like, no, no, no. Like you

00:40:13.280 --> 00:40:15.360
said, like, no, no, no. Spark isn't your purpose.

00:40:15.440 --> 00:40:16.739
You totally don't understand what a spark means

00:40:16.739 --> 00:40:18.619
at all. And he has to go through that experience

00:40:18.619 --> 00:40:20.059
to start understanding what it means. And then

00:40:20.059 --> 00:40:22.079
he communicates that to 22 and kind of unable

00:40:22.079 --> 00:40:25.639
to unlock that for her. So for you, as we're

00:40:25.639 --> 00:40:28.099
kind of coming through that arc there, you know,

00:40:28.139 --> 00:40:30.679
what's your insight there? A spark isn't your

00:40:30.679 --> 00:40:32.619
purpose. A spark comes when you're ready to start

00:40:32.619 --> 00:40:35.500
living. What's your insight there? Yeah, it's

00:40:35.500 --> 00:40:38.159
a good, I don't know. I don't. Well, I guess

00:40:38.159 --> 00:40:39.400
I don't know if this answers that question. One

00:40:39.400 --> 00:40:42.039
of my favorite moments in the movie is early

00:40:42.039 --> 00:40:44.920
on when you're watching and again Joe dies and

00:40:44.920 --> 00:40:47.400
he sees like the vision of his life and there's

00:40:47.400 --> 00:40:49.940
a scene in the vision where he's eating pie and

00:40:49.940 --> 00:40:52.559
it just he just like it's so it looks all dark

00:40:52.559 --> 00:40:54.980
and he's like my life is meaningless and he has

00:40:54.980 --> 00:40:58.019
that moment and then when he then has his realization

00:40:58.019 --> 00:41:00.900
at the end when he's playing the piano and he's

00:41:00.900 --> 00:41:02.559
reflecting like all the moments of his life that

00:41:02.559 --> 00:41:05.530
really made his life like meaningful. um when

00:41:05.530 --> 00:41:07.769
he realized that like moments with his uh with

00:41:07.769 --> 00:41:09.989
his dad yeah he's playing the piano he's playing

00:41:09.989 --> 00:41:11.909
the piano and you can see his dad's older and

00:41:11.909 --> 00:41:14.750
he's just like yeah loving yes being in that

00:41:14.750 --> 00:41:17.289
moment with yeah well yeah exactly he's with

00:41:17.289 --> 00:41:19.190
his dad he's like riding his bike and he's enjoying

00:41:19.190 --> 00:41:21.389
the sun he's with his mom after his dad passed

00:41:21.389 --> 00:41:23.530
away and like they have their feet in the in

00:41:23.530 --> 00:41:25.329
the water and then he has the moment of him eating

00:41:25.329 --> 00:41:28.010
that pie and it's like it wasn't a meaningless

00:41:28.010 --> 00:41:30.329
moment because the pie was was so delicious like

00:41:30.329 --> 00:41:32.530
it was it was he like really savored it and like

00:41:32.530 --> 00:41:35.219
it's just so interesting that In one context,

00:41:35.420 --> 00:41:38.780
that was a meaningless moment for him. Afterwards,

00:41:39.099 --> 00:41:40.840
when he's reflecting, it was actually a very

00:41:40.840 --> 00:41:43.599
meaningful, significant moment in his life. I

00:41:43.599 --> 00:41:45.559
think it's such a powerful thing that you can

00:41:45.559 --> 00:41:47.880
find that meaning or that spark really in anything

00:41:47.880 --> 00:41:49.820
in your life. It can be watching the sky. It

00:41:49.820 --> 00:41:51.119
can be walking. It can be just having a bite

00:41:51.119 --> 00:41:53.699
of pie. I think that's one of my favorite moments

00:41:53.699 --> 00:41:55.800
of that. It's subtle, but I think it's a really

00:41:55.800 --> 00:41:57.679
beautiful scene. And I love the reframe. Yeah.

00:41:58.639 --> 00:42:01.800
Because initially when he only sees it through

00:42:01.800 --> 00:42:04.320
the lens of the spark has to be me playing the

00:42:04.320 --> 00:42:06.480
piano and doing it, not just playing it, but

00:42:06.480 --> 00:42:10.139
being in a jazz band and being successful. That's

00:42:10.139 --> 00:42:13.119
where it is all seen through that lens, literally

00:42:13.119 --> 00:42:14.880
in this case, because the lens makes it like

00:42:14.880 --> 00:42:16.519
darker. It's such a nice representation, right?

00:42:17.280 --> 00:42:19.920
But in reality, he did experience those. And

00:42:19.920 --> 00:42:23.960
when he reframes that, those meanings were actually

00:42:23.960 --> 00:42:25.559
there and he did experience them. He just needs

00:42:25.559 --> 00:42:28.059
to reframe it and see it differently. And I think

00:42:28.059 --> 00:42:29.980
what it highlights for us is sometimes that's

00:42:29.980 --> 00:42:32.000
what it is, that the reset we need to have ends

00:42:32.000 --> 00:42:34.139
up becoming a reframe. We reset so that we can

00:42:34.139 --> 00:42:36.039
reframe the way that we're seeing things in life

00:42:36.039 --> 00:42:39.059
and seeing them with more meaning and with more

00:42:39.059 --> 00:42:41.280
purpose, appreciating the things that we have,

00:42:41.360 --> 00:42:43.639
which is kind of really done in a really beautiful

00:42:43.639 --> 00:42:48.019
way, that movie. Okay, so we're going to come

00:42:48.019 --> 00:42:50.960
back to the three actionable takeaways that we're

00:42:50.960 --> 00:42:52.860
going to have you share, okay? Cool. Three things

00:42:52.860 --> 00:42:56.639
people can do to find more fulfillment and more...

00:42:57.629 --> 00:43:00.369
living more happiness now as opposed to having

00:43:00.369 --> 00:43:01.869
to wait to some end goal. But before we get there,

00:43:01.889 --> 00:43:03.550
we're going to have two fun segments, okay? Cool.

00:43:03.630 --> 00:43:06.690
So the first is this or that, okay? So as we

00:43:06.690 --> 00:43:10.289
always say, like, be prepared to defend your

00:43:10.289 --> 00:43:13.630
controversial picks or this or that, okay? First

00:43:13.630 --> 00:43:20.369
one, 22 or moon wind? I like 22. Yeah. Yeah.

00:43:20.760 --> 00:43:23.719
Just, like, her whole journey and just coming

00:43:23.719 --> 00:43:25.360
to the conclusion I like 22. Part of it, too,

00:43:25.400 --> 00:43:27.239
because it's Tina Fey. Yeah, yeah. Right? Like,

00:43:27.239 --> 00:43:28.420
who doesn't love Tina Fey? She had all the funny

00:43:28.420 --> 00:43:30.179
moments. She's so great. Like, the Knicks thing,

00:43:30.380 --> 00:43:34.500
you know? I love Tina Fey. Okay, Manhattan or

00:43:34.500 --> 00:43:38.679
Central Park? Oof. So we lived in Long Island

00:43:38.679 --> 00:43:42.059
for a little while, and my experience of Central

00:43:42.059 --> 00:43:44.179
Park was we went there. It was beautiful. We

00:43:44.179 --> 00:43:46.019
ran some bikes. We were biking around. Right

00:43:46.019 --> 00:43:48.440
when it got dark, dude, it got so sketchy. All

00:43:48.440 --> 00:43:49.860
these people started coming out, weed everywhere.

00:43:50.059 --> 00:43:52.400
We're like, we've got to get out of here. So

00:43:52.400 --> 00:43:55.219
I'll probably go Manhattan on that one just because

00:43:55.219 --> 00:43:57.139
of that experience with Central Park. Which is

00:43:57.139 --> 00:43:59.840
good for me because I've been to Central Park

00:43:59.840 --> 00:44:03.320
a number of times, but it's always been in the

00:44:03.320 --> 00:44:05.179
morning or during the day. I've never been at

00:44:05.179 --> 00:44:08.420
night. It surprised us. We were like, oh, wow.

00:44:08.599 --> 00:44:10.019
Yeah, avoid it at night is what I'm hearing.

00:44:10.179 --> 00:44:13.199
I still love Central Park, so I'll keep that

00:44:13.199 --> 00:44:19.079
by avoiding it at night. Okay. Jazz club or concert

00:44:19.079 --> 00:44:25.000
hall? Probably jazz club. I think just because

00:44:25.000 --> 00:44:27.460
of my affinity for soul. Just having that experience

00:44:27.460 --> 00:44:29.519
at a jazz club. And that little vibe. Yeah. Okay,

00:44:29.579 --> 00:44:32.380
so this is right along with that. Piano or saxophone?

00:44:32.659 --> 00:44:35.840
Piano. Do you play the piano? I did play the

00:44:35.840 --> 00:44:39.199
piano growing up. I'm not good. I've tried twice

00:44:39.199 --> 00:44:41.940
now. I got Simply Piano, that app, to try to

00:44:41.940 --> 00:44:43.840
teach it. I've done it twice, but I haven't really

00:44:43.840 --> 00:44:46.139
stuck with it either time. So one day I will.

00:44:46.139 --> 00:44:48.039
So you can maybe dabble a little bit? I'd love

00:44:48.039 --> 00:44:50.019
to be able to. But that's something I can really

00:44:50.019 --> 00:44:52.880
admire, the piano and people, just how they're

00:44:52.880 --> 00:44:54.840
doing it. It's just incredible. When I see somebody

00:44:54.840 --> 00:44:57.519
play, especially somebody highly skilled, it's

00:44:57.519 --> 00:45:00.559
just like I just sit there and wonder and awe.

00:45:00.889 --> 00:45:04.210
My goodness. There's so much talent and skill

00:45:04.210 --> 00:45:07.989
and hard work that goes into that person getting

00:45:07.989 --> 00:45:09.849
to that point where they can do that. Yeah, it's

00:45:09.849 --> 00:45:16.110
amazing. New York City or New Orleans? New York

00:45:16.110 --> 00:45:21.610
City. I have ties to New Orleans. My dad's family

00:45:21.610 --> 00:45:24.650
lives in Louisiana, so we go to Louisiana pretty

00:45:24.650 --> 00:45:27.130
often. You'll take New York City. Yeah, but I

00:45:27.130 --> 00:45:29.210
think just because I lived in Long Island, New

00:45:29.210 --> 00:45:32.139
York City. Yeah, I do like both cities, but I'd

00:45:32.139 --> 00:45:34.159
swing a little bit towards New York. Okay, well,

00:45:34.219 --> 00:45:36.320
so this might make it a tougher question this

00:45:36.320 --> 00:45:40.579
next one, okay? New York pizza or home -cooked

00:45:40.579 --> 00:45:45.500
meal? I kind of lean towards New York pizza.

00:45:46.099 --> 00:45:48.320
Pizza's so good. It's so good. There's so many

00:45:48.320 --> 00:45:50.519
good joints. My favorite experience eating, though,

00:45:50.539 --> 00:45:53.039
was we went to a bagel joint in New York. And,

00:45:53.039 --> 00:45:55.179
like, they just had so many words I didn't even

00:45:55.179 --> 00:45:57.239
know. I was like, you can do this with bagels?

00:45:57.260 --> 00:45:58.619
Like, they were going off, dude. We were like,

00:45:58.699 --> 00:46:01.960
what? It was crazy. But it was good. Like a little

00:46:01.960 --> 00:46:03.159
hole -in -the -wall bagel. I'm going to throw

00:46:03.159 --> 00:46:05.719
one on the fly then. So New York pizza or New

00:46:05.719 --> 00:46:08.619
York bagel? Pizza. I mean, pizza is still elite.

00:46:08.840 --> 00:46:10.699
I mean, it's still amazing, right? Like, it's

00:46:10.699 --> 00:46:14.960
amazing. But a New York bagel for me, and I don't

00:46:14.960 --> 00:46:17.440
know why it is, and nobody can really explain

00:46:17.440 --> 00:46:19.869
why. New York bagels are just better than bagels

00:46:19.869 --> 00:46:21.929
in any other place. I don't know why. They're

00:46:21.929 --> 00:46:25.070
unbelievable. Unbelievable. I eat them all the

00:46:25.070 --> 00:46:27.989
time when I'm there. I can't do gluten really.

00:46:28.550 --> 00:46:31.449
I can take a gluten pill to make me not as sick.

00:46:32.190 --> 00:46:34.230
And I take a lot of gluten pills in New York

00:46:34.230 --> 00:46:35.869
City because it's the pizza and the bagels. So

00:46:35.869 --> 00:46:38.050
I'm constantly taking these pills to try to minimize

00:46:38.050 --> 00:46:39.989
the impact of this gluten because it's so good.

00:46:40.190 --> 00:46:43.789
So good. Okay. Window seat or aisle seat? Window.

00:46:44.460 --> 00:46:46.239
Okay, your window guy. You like to look out the

00:46:46.239 --> 00:46:47.880
window? I do like to look out the window. It

00:46:47.880 --> 00:46:50.360
is like, the aisle's nice because I'm long. You

00:46:50.360 --> 00:46:52.739
know, I need leg room. But I think I lean towards

00:46:52.739 --> 00:46:55.059
the window. See, I'm aisle all the way because

00:46:55.059 --> 00:46:57.739
of that. I just, I want to be able to stretch

00:46:57.739 --> 00:47:00.880
my legs. And also, I'm the kind of, I hate to

00:47:00.880 --> 00:47:04.039
inconvenience somebody. I hate it so much. And

00:47:04.039 --> 00:47:07.019
so, if I can be in the aisle, if I got to go

00:47:07.019 --> 00:47:08.989
to the bathroom, I feel like I can. When I'm

00:47:08.989 --> 00:47:11.150
in the middle seat of the window, I will hold

00:47:11.150 --> 00:47:13.590
it that whole flight unless I am about to lose

00:47:13.590 --> 00:47:16.230
it. Because I do not want to make them get up.

00:47:17.050 --> 00:47:19.510
Especially if you have to go twice. It's like

00:47:19.510 --> 00:47:20.929
a three -hour flight. You have to get up once.

00:47:21.070 --> 00:47:22.530
You can do once, but you can't get up again.

00:47:22.710 --> 00:47:26.309
Now you're cooked. And look, I'm over 40, and

00:47:26.309 --> 00:47:28.909
I've got to go to the bathroom a lot. It's just

00:47:28.909 --> 00:47:31.449
a reality. As you get older, you will find out

00:47:31.449 --> 00:47:34.289
in 15 years. You'll find out eventually. Okay,

00:47:34.670 --> 00:47:37.010
Disneyland or Disney World? Disneyland, actually.

00:47:37.050 --> 00:47:39.309
We went to Disney World just last year, and I

00:47:39.309 --> 00:47:41.309
was like, I think Disneyland is better. They

00:47:41.309 --> 00:47:45.539
had way more churros than Disneyland. Yes, a

00:47:45.539 --> 00:47:47.599
lot more. A lot more churros. I feel like the

00:47:47.599 --> 00:47:49.739
food generally was better. Epcot was the exception.

00:47:49.920 --> 00:47:51.380
Epcot had really cool food. That's exactly right.

00:47:51.519 --> 00:47:54.260
I feel like Disneyland is more concentrated.

00:47:54.420 --> 00:47:55.880
There's two parks. You get everything in two

00:47:55.880 --> 00:47:58.000
parks versus Disney World. You have the four,

00:47:58.039 --> 00:47:59.539
and it's all kind of spread out. And some parks

00:47:59.539 --> 00:48:01.980
are better. I feel like the two main parks in

00:48:01.980 --> 00:48:03.739
Disney World don't equal the two main parks in

00:48:03.739 --> 00:48:05.619
Disneyland. So I think Disneyland takes the edge.

00:48:05.980 --> 00:48:08.269
Disneyland for me as well. I do love me some

00:48:08.269 --> 00:48:10.949
Epcot. Yeah, Epcot is cool. All the Disney world,

00:48:11.130 --> 00:48:13.429
like Epcot, I really have an affinity for now.

00:48:13.550 --> 00:48:16.090
The food is great. The rides are terrific. It's

00:48:16.090 --> 00:48:17.769
just something that's totally different, right?

00:48:18.650 --> 00:48:21.210
But yeah, Disneyland's amazing. Okay, movie theater

00:48:21.210 --> 00:48:24.389
or movie at home? I do love going to the theater.

00:48:24.630 --> 00:48:26.949
Just the whole experience of the theater. You're

00:48:26.949 --> 00:48:30.010
giving yourself a two -hour little, I'm just

00:48:30.010 --> 00:48:32.989
escaping. I'm going to see The Mandalorian tonight

00:48:32.989 --> 00:48:35.809
with my brother. Today? Today. Does it come out?

00:48:35.869 --> 00:48:38.070
I think it's like a little early. My realtor,

00:48:38.130 --> 00:48:39.849
he's hooking us up. Oh, man, you are getting

00:48:39.849 --> 00:48:42.130
hooked up. Oh, that should be a fun one. I'm

00:48:42.130 --> 00:48:43.030
excited. It's always going to be fun. I love

00:48:43.030 --> 00:48:46.710
the series on Disney+. It's amazing. Okay, here's

00:48:46.710 --> 00:48:49.050
a rapid fire, okay? So just first one that comes

00:48:49.050 --> 00:48:52.349
to mind. Cool. Okay? Favorite Disney movie? Soul.

00:48:53.329 --> 00:48:54.869
Favorite? I think it's our favorite. I think

00:48:54.869 --> 00:48:56.510
it's our favorite. Love that. Favorite Disney

00:48:56.510 --> 00:49:01.730
song? Hakuna Matata. It's just as soon as you

00:49:01.730 --> 00:49:05.389
hear it. Oh, 100%. I feel like whoever sings

00:49:05.389 --> 00:49:07.969
for Simba all the time, dude, he's got pipes.

00:49:08.070 --> 00:49:09.929
So it's amazing. Oh, yeah, both the kid version

00:49:09.929 --> 00:49:12.570
and the adult version. Yeah, that's true. Favorite

00:49:12.570 --> 00:49:15.750
Disney princess? Mulan. I think Mulan's the GOAT,

00:49:15.750 --> 00:49:18.090
and I don't think it's close. She's rad. She's

00:49:18.090 --> 00:49:20.210
the best. Like, I just rewatched it for an episode

00:49:20.210 --> 00:49:22.130
that we recorded, and I'm watching it again.

00:49:22.150 --> 00:49:24.489
I'm just like, man, I love this movie. 100%.

00:49:24.489 --> 00:49:27.090
She is so great. Great songs. Mulan is awesome.

00:49:27.269 --> 00:49:30.929
Yeah. Yeah, that one's... Yeah, I love her. Favorite

00:49:30.929 --> 00:49:35.050
Disney villain? I think this is a loophole, but

00:49:35.050 --> 00:49:38.550
Wreck -It Ralph. Okay, because he is. In the

00:49:38.550 --> 00:49:40.630
game, he is absolutely the villain. There is

00:49:40.630 --> 00:49:43.010
no question he's the villain, and all he wants

00:49:43.010 --> 00:49:45.070
to do is have a hero's journey. He wants to be

00:49:45.070 --> 00:49:47.809
a hero. He's so lovable. Before Soul came out,

00:49:47.869 --> 00:49:49.110
Wreck -It Ralph was my favorite Disney movie.

00:49:49.949 --> 00:49:51.610
I like that loophole. We have a tie too. Cause

00:49:51.610 --> 00:49:54.309
my, um, my, when I was on mutual, when I met

00:49:54.309 --> 00:49:56.610
my wife, my quote was like Brecker Ralph's quote.

00:49:56.670 --> 00:49:58.489
It's like, I'm not, I forget. I always forget.

00:49:58.590 --> 00:50:00.909
It's like, I'm not good. That's, that's not good.

00:50:01.110 --> 00:50:02.329
Anyway, but he's like, there's no one rather

00:50:02.329 --> 00:50:04.170
be than me. And like, that was my quote in my

00:50:04.170 --> 00:50:06.789
bio. And that's my wife had a quote and that's

00:50:06.789 --> 00:50:09.190
how we connected. So amazing. I love that actually.

00:50:09.570 --> 00:50:13.130
Uh, favorite Disney treat, which actually is,

00:50:13.130 --> 00:50:14.610
I'm glad I asked this because you just talked

00:50:14.610 --> 00:50:16.849
about liking the food. Yeah. Yeah. I think, uh,

00:50:16.869 --> 00:50:20.679
I'm a sucker for, like some candied almonds or

00:50:20.679 --> 00:50:23.059
something, like those cinnamon, sugar, almond.

00:50:23.099 --> 00:50:25.380
Those are amazing. I thought you were going to

00:50:25.380 --> 00:50:27.619
go churro. Churros, I mean, yeah. I was trying

00:50:27.619 --> 00:50:29.300
to be different. I was trying to stand out a

00:50:29.300 --> 00:50:31.900
little bit. I want to, but I can't. Because when

00:50:31.900 --> 00:50:35.219
I go, I just want to have a churro. And there's

00:50:35.219 --> 00:50:37.900
no other food there that I'm just like, I have

00:50:37.900 --> 00:50:40.940
to have a churro. Other things I love. There's

00:50:40.940 --> 00:50:43.159
plenty of things like that. Macarons, when they

00:50:43.159 --> 00:50:45.599
have them, unbelievable. Candied almonds are

00:50:45.599 --> 00:50:47.619
great. Corn dogs there are really delicious.

00:50:48.019 --> 00:50:50.179
You've got to get the jumbo turkey leg. Oh, yeah.

00:50:50.739 --> 00:50:52.559
But churro is what I was coming back to. Yeah,

00:50:52.579 --> 00:50:54.440
churro is amazing. One's just never enough either.

00:50:54.559 --> 00:50:57.380
It's dangerous. Whenever I go on, my wife's always

00:50:57.380 --> 00:50:58.679
like, well, you want to just get a couple and

00:50:58.679 --> 00:51:00.300
we'll all share. I'm like, nobody in this family

00:51:00.300 --> 00:51:02.639
wants to share. We're getting six. We're getting

00:51:02.639 --> 00:51:04.320
six. Everyone's going to have their own, and

00:51:04.320 --> 00:51:06.039
everyone's going to eat every bite of it. And

00:51:06.039 --> 00:51:07.820
if somebody doesn't, guess who's going to finish

00:51:07.820 --> 00:51:13.239
it? I am. Favorite musician? Favorite musician?

00:51:13.820 --> 00:51:26.650
Wow. I don't know. I feel like being in basketball,

00:51:26.829 --> 00:51:31.010
rap is kind of a big rap guy. Totally. So I think

00:51:31.010 --> 00:51:32.929
Eminem was one that I was just like, I don't

00:51:32.929 --> 00:51:35.309
know. I feel like he was in his prime when I

00:51:35.309 --> 00:51:37.150
was young. So I kind of always admired him. Whenever

00:51:37.150 --> 00:51:39.190
he drops a new album, I'm always like, I just

00:51:39.190 --> 00:51:42.570
love his whole journey. Anyway, his whole ride

00:51:42.570 --> 00:51:44.710
is so interesting. I like J. Cole quite a bit.

00:51:45.070 --> 00:51:48.050
He's kind of more... relatable, you know? I don't

00:51:48.050 --> 00:51:52.909
even know who he is. I'm going to go with Eminem.

00:51:52.949 --> 00:51:56.130
Yeah, go with Eminem. Eminem. All right, Slim

00:51:56.130 --> 00:51:59.309
Shady. Favorite book? Favorite book? I think

00:51:59.309 --> 00:52:01.090
the book that, one of the books that made the

00:52:01.090 --> 00:52:02.889
biggest impact on me was Stillness is the Key,

00:52:03.110 --> 00:52:05.670
Ryan Holiday, which hits a lot of the same principles

00:52:05.670 --> 00:52:08.110
of soul and kind of ties things together just

00:52:08.110 --> 00:52:11.570
about, yeah, just finding presence and living

00:52:11.570 --> 00:52:13.369
a meaningful life and it doesn't always come

00:52:13.369 --> 00:52:15.409
down to the big accomplishment. you know, how

00:52:15.409 --> 00:52:17.869
you define success. Yeah. Okay. Then the last,

00:52:17.869 --> 00:52:20.469
the last rapid fire, this might not be so rapid.

00:52:20.550 --> 00:52:22.769
We'll see. We'll see. What is your number one

00:52:22.769 --> 00:52:26.170
piece of marriage advice to people engaged to

00:52:26.170 --> 00:52:27.929
be married? What's the number one thing you would

00:52:27.929 --> 00:52:30.750
tell somebody who is engaged? I think my number

00:52:30.750 --> 00:52:35.090
one thing is get marriage checklist. Like honestly,

00:52:35.170 --> 00:52:37.340
get. get deep before you get married. I'm like,

00:52:37.480 --> 00:52:39.539
get deep. Talk about your communication. I was

00:52:39.539 --> 00:52:41.420
talking about finance. I want sexual intimacy.

00:52:41.480 --> 00:52:43.159
Talk about all these different areas of your

00:52:43.159 --> 00:52:44.440
life that are going to, that you're going to

00:52:44.440 --> 00:52:46.579
be like combining together. It's a big move that

00:52:46.579 --> 00:52:49.099
you're making. And so get on the same page and

00:52:49.099 --> 00:52:51.380
just have those conversations and see each other

00:52:51.380 --> 00:52:53.980
in those different lights. Work through that.

00:52:54.079 --> 00:52:56.400
Like I'd say like we had, we'd always, when we

00:52:56.400 --> 00:52:58.199
had our podcast, we had a whole checklist. There's

00:52:58.199 --> 00:53:00.489
like. you know, 50 to 60 questions and people

00:53:00.489 --> 00:53:01.769
are always hitting us up and we're sending it

00:53:01.769 --> 00:53:04.489
out to people. And I feel like that's one of

00:53:04.489 --> 00:53:06.409
the biggest things that will just help you just

00:53:06.409 --> 00:53:08.969
to have a good foundation, have some deep conversations

00:53:08.969 --> 00:53:13.010
and help you move on into a married life. Love

00:53:13.010 --> 00:53:16.530
it. Okay. So to wrap up two things I want to

00:53:16.530 --> 00:53:19.309
get from you, any kind of final thoughts about

00:53:19.309 --> 00:53:22.070
the topic or the movie and then move into your

00:53:22.070 --> 00:53:25.849
three actual takeaways. Yeah. Final thoughts.

00:53:27.519 --> 00:53:29.639
I took some notes. I thought you would. I could

00:53:29.639 --> 00:53:31.159
tell. I was like, he's got some more to say that

00:53:31.159 --> 00:53:32.860
I haven't asked him. And I definitely want to

00:53:32.860 --> 00:53:34.619
give a runway for that. Yeah. I don't know if

00:53:34.619 --> 00:53:41.139
I have any other big ones. I really, I guess

00:53:41.139 --> 00:53:44.599
I'll end with this. One of my favorite scriptures

00:53:44.599 --> 00:53:48.380
in the New Testament is the book of Luke, where

00:53:48.380 --> 00:53:51.400
Jesus says, fear not little flock. It is in your

00:53:51.400 --> 00:53:53.199
father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom.

00:53:53.739 --> 00:53:57.000
And I think that's such a beautiful. moment in

00:53:57.000 --> 00:53:59.380
the scriptures and just idea that it's like,

00:53:59.440 --> 00:54:02.800
I think too often we get worked up about things

00:54:02.800 --> 00:54:05.619
in our lives and we're so going about doing all

00:54:05.619 --> 00:54:07.280
these little things we feel like are so important.

00:54:07.380 --> 00:54:10.019
And, um, I just really, at the end of the day,

00:54:10.059 --> 00:54:13.619
like just going about just being your best, showing

00:54:13.619 --> 00:54:15.860
up every day, trying to be present, trying to

00:54:15.860 --> 00:54:17.360
serve others. I think that's one of my favorite

00:54:17.360 --> 00:54:18.519
takeaways and something that would really hit

00:54:18.519 --> 00:54:19.739
me. I just watched soul again yesterday to kind

00:54:19.739 --> 00:54:21.739
of prep for this, but, um, it was just like,

00:54:22.280 --> 00:54:23.840
you got to get out of your side of yourself and

00:54:23.840 --> 00:54:26.019
serve others and try to find ways to make impact

00:54:26.019 --> 00:54:27.519
in their people's lives. Cause it's so easy for

00:54:27.519 --> 00:54:29.059
us to become so selfish and just be thinking

00:54:29.059 --> 00:54:31.380
about ourselves all the time. Um, but getting

00:54:31.380 --> 00:54:33.019
outside of that and trying to serve someone else.

00:54:33.039 --> 00:54:35.260
And ideally your spouse, like that we're talking

00:54:35.260 --> 00:54:36.800
about, this is like, and that kind of, I guess,

00:54:36.840 --> 00:54:40.199
takes me into a takeaway is like finding a moment

00:54:40.199 --> 00:54:43.019
to serve someone close to you. Ideally your spouse,

00:54:43.099 --> 00:54:44.420
if you're married, if not, you know, a family

00:54:44.420 --> 00:54:47.059
member, whoever that goes outside of what you

00:54:47.059 --> 00:54:50.059
normally. do you know and and serve them and

00:54:50.059 --> 00:54:51.440
think about them and try to take someone off

00:54:51.440 --> 00:54:53.079
their plate i think that's a great lesson from

00:54:53.079 --> 00:54:55.039
seoul and just a great lesson uh for life you

00:54:55.039 --> 00:54:57.900
know for sure so first actual takeaway is obviously

00:54:57.900 --> 00:55:02.139
find something this week yeah to serve somebody

00:55:02.139 --> 00:55:05.260
else in a way that's outside what you would normally

00:55:05.260 --> 00:55:08.190
do yeah a great one yeah give me two more um

00:55:08.190 --> 00:55:10.309
number two you are you blue i don't know if your

00:55:10.309 --> 00:55:12.210
kids are old enough for bluey absolutely okay

00:55:12.210 --> 00:55:14.250
okay blue is amazing blue is amazing i love blue

00:55:14.250 --> 00:55:16.110
oh yeah it's incredible i've seen i my kids are

00:55:16.110 --> 00:55:17.489
right in the blue age i've seen like i've said

00:55:17.489 --> 00:55:21.369
like 10 times but uh i i think finding a moment

00:55:21.369 --> 00:55:25.820
to Find beauty and find stillness and I think

00:55:25.820 --> 00:55:28.679
I remember that episode we watched a day was

00:55:28.679 --> 00:55:31.480
When the dad bandit is having like his he's pretending

00:55:31.480 --> 00:55:33.360
to be alive for the very first time He likes

00:55:33.360 --> 00:55:36.360
he's a leaf and he's like this leaf is amazing

00:55:36.360 --> 00:55:38.719
like zooms in it's just this moment and so I

00:55:38.719 --> 00:55:41.159
feel like just inviting people to find that in

00:55:41.159 --> 00:55:43.670
your life whether it's the sunrise, the sunset,

00:55:43.909 --> 00:55:45.010
or it's the mountain. Like, we're surrounded.

00:55:45.150 --> 00:55:46.289
These mountains are incredible. You see these

00:55:46.289 --> 00:55:47.630
mountains in the morning? Like, it's amazing.

00:55:47.829 --> 00:55:50.170
Or even at sunset. Like, just find a moment and

00:55:50.170 --> 00:55:52.190
just, like, take it in and just appreciate. Or

00:55:52.190 --> 00:55:53.590
it's listening to a song or watching a movie.

00:55:53.650 --> 00:55:56.170
Like, that is incredible. And just appreciating

00:55:56.170 --> 00:55:57.809
that and letting that bring you into stillness,

00:55:57.809 --> 00:56:00.929
into the present moment. I'm going to call it

00:56:00.929 --> 00:56:04.750
find a moment of wonder this week. That's our

00:56:04.750 --> 00:56:06.489
number two. Love it. Okay. What's our number

00:56:06.489 --> 00:56:08.949
three? Number three, I wrote it down. Let me

00:56:08.949 --> 00:56:11.469
pull it up. Let me see what my third one was.

00:56:11.929 --> 00:56:13.670
Oh, I guess my third one is kind of the same

00:56:13.670 --> 00:56:18.190
idea, but just, like, not taking being so seriously.

00:56:18.590 --> 00:56:20.730
You know, like, zooming out a little bit and,

00:56:20.769 --> 00:56:22.789
like, even laughing. I remember something, like,

00:56:22.849 --> 00:56:25.949
when doing door -to -door sales. Like, whenever

00:56:25.949 --> 00:56:27.989
we'd get an objection, I would just have the

00:56:27.989 --> 00:56:29.469
biggest smile. Like, they're like, oh, yeah,

00:56:29.530 --> 00:56:31.210
I'm going to talk to my wife. Just, like, biggest

00:56:31.210 --> 00:56:35.010
smile. Like, just, like, rolling with the punches

00:56:35.010 --> 00:56:36.469
and just smiling and laughing through them. I

00:56:36.469 --> 00:56:38.489
think it's just, like, the best way to live,

00:56:38.650 --> 00:56:41.579
you know? So my third one is. I think that's

00:56:41.579 --> 00:56:44.400
a great one. So number three would be sometime

00:56:44.400 --> 00:56:46.480
this week when you face maybe something that's

00:56:46.480 --> 00:56:51.039
difficult or hard, try to take it on with a smile

00:56:51.039 --> 00:56:54.760
on your face. I like that. Because everybody's

00:56:54.760 --> 00:56:56.460
going to have something hard. Like every week

00:56:56.460 --> 00:56:58.159
we do. Even if it's something small that's hard,

00:56:58.239 --> 00:56:59.639
it's still something that's hard or it's a trial

00:56:59.639 --> 00:57:02.360
or it's an objection. But if we can encounter

00:57:02.360 --> 00:57:04.320
that moment and say, no, I got this, and that

00:57:04.320 --> 00:57:07.239
smile helps to remind us, like, I got this. This

00:57:07.239 --> 00:57:09.699
is not that big a deal. I can do this. It's going

00:57:09.699 --> 00:57:11.619
to be fine. I think that's a great one. Love

00:57:11.619 --> 00:57:15.800
it. Love it. Well, Nate Dogg, Nate the Great,

00:57:16.039 --> 00:57:20.179
Hoop, Hooper, Hoopster, Hoop Dogg? Hoop Daddy.

00:57:20.380 --> 00:57:22.300
Hoop Daddy. That was my favorite one, Hoop Daddy.

00:57:22.820 --> 00:57:25.199
It's been a pleasure visiting with you. Some

00:57:25.199 --> 00:57:27.460
great things we talked about for a wonderful

00:57:27.460 --> 00:57:29.860
movie, and I think there's some things that people

00:57:29.860 --> 00:57:31.780
can put into place this week. We find a little

00:57:31.780 --> 00:57:33.340
bit more joy this week. We find a little bit

00:57:33.340 --> 00:57:40.030
more spark. in the desire to find fulfillment,

00:57:40.309 --> 00:57:44.110
find success, find happiness in the moments we

00:57:44.110 --> 00:57:46.610
have today. Thanks, brother. Thanks, Ryan. Appreciate

00:57:46.610 --> 00:57:50.269
it. As you leave this conversation, remember

00:57:50.269 --> 00:57:53.250
that yes, the past can hurt and you can either

00:57:53.250 --> 00:57:56.610
run from it or you can learn from it. So here's

00:57:56.610 --> 00:58:00.210
to learning and finding joy in the journey. See

00:58:00.210 --> 00:58:00.710
you real soon.