Moana and Designing a Life You Love with Cierra Clayson

WEBVTT

00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:04.200
I didn't realize not only how much I loved it,

00:00:04.240 --> 00:00:08.060
but how good I was at it. Can I say that? I realized,

00:00:08.279 --> 00:00:11.400
you know, I genuinely love people and this job

00:00:11.400 --> 00:00:13.300
has provided such an outlet for me to create

00:00:13.300 --> 00:00:15.560
relationships, share my story, learn from other

00:00:15.560 --> 00:00:19.120
people, and it's been fantastic. His whole legs

00:00:19.120 --> 00:00:20.899
were turning black and it was only getting worse

00:00:20.899 --> 00:00:22.699
and they just said it's gone septic and there's

00:00:22.699 --> 00:00:25.160
nothing we can do. I remember the physician telling

00:00:25.160 --> 00:00:29.039
me it's like a freight train. going 200 miles

00:00:29.039 --> 00:00:31.339
an hour we can't stop it we're here because the

00:00:31.339 --> 00:00:33.060
ocean told you you're special and you believed

00:00:33.060 --> 00:00:37.100
it she says the ocean chose me and he says it

00:00:37.100 --> 00:00:41.000
shows wrong i am so much more capable than people

00:00:41.000 --> 00:00:43.479
know and it was almost a challenge to myself

00:00:43.479 --> 00:00:46.399
that like i can do more than what i'm doing i

00:00:46.399 --> 00:00:48.840
love that i'm strong but i'm resentful sometimes

00:00:48.840 --> 00:00:51.380
with how strong i am it would be nice to be weak

00:00:51.380 --> 00:00:53.759
sometimes i am i'm in that season of becoming

00:00:53.759 --> 00:00:57.200
i'm in that that season of loving the life that

00:00:57.200 --> 00:01:01.840
I have designed. Welcome to Yes and Land, where

00:01:01.840 --> 00:01:04.980
we say yes to the reality of yesterday and today,

00:01:05.120 --> 00:01:09.579
and we say and to the possibility, growth, and

00:01:09.579 --> 00:01:19.250
imagination of tomorrow. All right, welcome everybody

00:01:19.250 --> 00:01:22.730
to the next episode of Yes and Lam. We are very

00:01:22.730 --> 00:01:24.670
excited today. We have a total rock star here

00:01:24.670 --> 00:01:28.150
today. Sierra is joining us. She is the brand

00:01:28.150 --> 00:01:30.129
manager at Minky. That's the correct title, right?

00:01:30.230 --> 00:01:33.189
Correct. The brand manager at Minky Couture,

00:01:33.329 --> 00:01:35.870
which if you don't know what it is, you've got

00:01:35.870 --> 00:01:37.530
to crawl out from underneath the rock because

00:01:37.530 --> 00:01:40.989
it is like the, I'm going to call it the blanket,

00:01:41.030 --> 00:01:45.260
the blanket company. uh and that everybody should

00:01:45.260 --> 00:01:47.099
have everybody should have their blankets but

00:01:47.099 --> 00:01:49.079
you guys also do some more things besides just

00:01:49.079 --> 00:01:51.280
blankets you've expanded to doing lots of stuff

00:01:51.280 --> 00:01:53.459
but we're very happy and excited to have her

00:01:53.459 --> 00:01:55.200
on today we're going to dive into some interesting

00:01:55.200 --> 00:01:57.500
topics in our pre -show we talked a little about

00:01:57.500 --> 00:02:00.500
her theater background which i have a little

00:02:00.500 --> 00:02:02.400
of going to talk about that a little bit today

00:02:02.400 --> 00:02:06.700
uh we'll also talk about a wonderful movie moana

00:02:07.099 --> 00:02:09.659
one of my absolute favorites uh just re -watched

00:02:09.659 --> 00:02:12.400
it last night with my two little girls my goodness

00:02:12.400 --> 00:02:15.520
it's so great um and then we're gonna also have

00:02:15.520 --> 00:02:17.580
some other conversations and we'll see kind of

00:02:17.580 --> 00:02:20.159
where those conversations take us about uh grief

00:02:20.159 --> 00:02:22.960
about loss and about the process of becoming

00:02:22.960 --> 00:02:24.759
which is kind of what we're talking about overall

00:02:24.759 --> 00:02:27.240
today so very excited to have you on sierra Thank

00:02:27.240 --> 00:02:30.080
you. Thank you for having me. So give us a little

00:02:30.080 --> 00:02:33.039
bit of an introduction of you. Like, kind of

00:02:33.039 --> 00:02:34.580
give us kind of the lay of the land, and then

00:02:34.580 --> 00:02:36.379
we'll dive in. We'll go back a little bit more,

00:02:36.439 --> 00:02:37.560
but kind of give us the lay of the land right

00:02:37.560 --> 00:02:40.500
now. Okay. So, yeah. So I'm originally from Southern

00:02:40.500 --> 00:02:45.979
California. I went to school at BYU -Idaho intentionally.

00:02:46.520 --> 00:02:47.960
I know a lot of people are like, you came from

00:02:47.960 --> 00:02:49.500
California and you went to Idaho. And like, I

00:02:49.500 --> 00:02:51.879
know, but my siblings went there and I had the

00:02:51.879 --> 00:02:54.879
best college experience. I did minor in theater.

00:02:56.360 --> 00:02:59.240
But I majored in communications, kind of fell

00:02:59.240 --> 00:03:03.599
in love with just presenting, but also relationships.

00:03:04.139 --> 00:03:07.580
And so I graduated from there, got married. When

00:03:07.580 --> 00:03:09.360
you did graduate from there, it was actually

00:03:09.360 --> 00:03:11.259
officially called BYU -Idaho. It was officially

00:03:11.259 --> 00:03:12.919
BYU -Idaho, yes. I wasn't there during RICS,

00:03:12.919 --> 00:03:15.020
but I was there. Because I'm old, and it was

00:03:15.020 --> 00:03:17.879
RICS back when I was like. You might not want

00:03:17.879 --> 00:03:19.379
to tell too many people that, because you want

00:03:19.379 --> 00:03:21.060
to keep the appeal that you're younger than you

00:03:21.060 --> 00:03:22.340
are. What is the RICS thing? What are you talking

00:03:22.340 --> 00:03:25.060
about? Yeah, I was just right after that, actually.

00:03:25.580 --> 00:03:27.759
I like to think that I'm pretty young. I'm not.

00:03:28.379 --> 00:03:31.520
So, yeah. So, I got my degree there. I got married

00:03:31.520 --> 00:03:36.000
my last year in college. And then we moved to

00:03:36.000 --> 00:03:39.560
Utah after we graduated. And I worked for FranklinCovey.

00:03:39.620 --> 00:03:42.240
I interned with them. Did some communication

00:03:42.240 --> 00:03:44.599
work with them. Worked on their social media

00:03:44.599 --> 00:03:47.800
side. Lay the foundation for FranklinCovey. People

00:03:47.800 --> 00:03:49.740
should definitely know who it is. He should know.

00:03:49.860 --> 00:03:52.280
Amazing. So famous. A lot of people think of

00:03:52.280 --> 00:03:53.819
FranklinCovey and they think planners. Like,

00:03:53.860 --> 00:03:56.460
okay, so that's. the planner company. No, it's

00:03:56.460 --> 00:03:59.180
actually a leadership development company. My

00:03:59.180 --> 00:04:02.180
dad is still a consultant for them. So FranklinCovey

00:04:02.180 --> 00:04:04.740
teaches leaders how to be the best and how to

00:04:04.740 --> 00:04:08.500
grow individually and as a team and as a company.

00:04:08.620 --> 00:04:11.379
So they're a fantastic, any leadership organization

00:04:11.379 --> 00:04:14.099
should do work through them. So you're welcome,

00:04:14.180 --> 00:04:15.479
FranklinCovey, because we're going to cut that

00:04:15.479 --> 00:04:17.220
up into a reel and put that out there. You got

00:04:17.220 --> 00:04:21.379
that for free. Yes, yes. Free ad there. But I

00:04:21.379 --> 00:04:23.959
love it because FranklinCovey was so great because

00:04:24.009 --> 00:04:27.850
because it really laid the foundation to kind

00:04:27.850 --> 00:04:31.040
of how to grow. as an individual. And when you

00:04:31.040 --> 00:04:33.860
grow as an individual, you can be more effective

00:04:33.860 --> 00:04:36.300
in your team and in your company and in your

00:04:36.300 --> 00:04:38.720
position. So I handled the Western region side

00:04:38.720 --> 00:04:40.779
of that with events and things like that. And

00:04:40.779 --> 00:04:44.000
then I started having kids. And so I took a step

00:04:44.000 --> 00:04:49.899
back, raised three beautiful boys. And yeah,

00:04:50.040 --> 00:04:53.899
so I was in the phase of just kind of embracing

00:04:53.899 --> 00:04:57.680
that my purpose was to just be a mom and just

00:04:57.680 --> 00:05:01.370
kind of raise my kids, which I absolutely adore.

00:05:02.430 --> 00:05:06.610
But then we got divorced in 2022. And so that

00:05:06.610 --> 00:05:09.649
kind of had, I was forced to kind of come back

00:05:09.649 --> 00:05:12.370
into the corporate world, which was new and nerve

00:05:12.370 --> 00:05:16.529
wracking. And I was very, very. Nervous to see

00:05:16.529 --> 00:05:18.550
what was going to happen with that. But I found

00:05:18.550 --> 00:05:21.310
Minky Couture. Sandy Hendry offered me a job,

00:05:21.389 --> 00:05:24.129
which is its own story. And we're going to definitely

00:05:24.129 --> 00:05:26.910
dive into that in a minute. Yeah. But then once

00:05:26.910 --> 00:05:31.449
I was reintroduced to the workforce, I didn't

00:05:31.449 --> 00:05:35.689
realize not only how much I loved it, but how

00:05:35.689 --> 00:05:38.449
good I was at it. Can I say that? A hundred percent.

00:05:38.649 --> 00:05:41.170
I didn't realize. Well, we talk about the season

00:05:41.170 --> 00:05:43.050
of becoming, which we'll get more further into.

00:05:43.870 --> 00:05:47.310
I realize, you know, I genuinely love people

00:05:47.310 --> 00:05:49.850
and this job has provided such an outlet for

00:05:49.850 --> 00:05:52.149
me to create relationships, share my story, learn

00:05:52.149 --> 00:05:55.689
from other people. And it's been fantastic. So

00:05:55.689 --> 00:05:59.910
fast forward now where I'm four years with Minky

00:05:59.910 --> 00:06:04.810
in July and I have had an amazing, amazing experiences

00:06:04.810 --> 00:06:07.569
and my kids have benefited from it and it's just

00:06:07.569 --> 00:06:10.470
been life changing in the best way. What would

00:06:10.470 --> 00:06:13.709
you tell people about minky like what what what's

00:06:13.709 --> 00:06:16.589
what what's the story of minky why why is it

00:06:16.589 --> 00:06:19.490
such a great place for you to be where you really

00:06:19.490 --> 00:06:22.850
kind of come into your own there so minky couture

00:06:22.850 --> 00:06:27.389
provides a opportunity for so we're mainly women

00:06:27.389 --> 00:06:30.310
who work there right so over 350 employees predominantly

00:06:30.310 --> 00:06:34.990
women um and it sandy has has created an atmosphere

00:06:34.990 --> 00:06:39.230
of personal growth where wherever she feels like

00:06:39.230 --> 00:06:41.370
your talents are, she'll put you in that position

00:06:41.370 --> 00:06:43.209
and she'll watch you grow and help you grow,

00:06:43.329 --> 00:06:46.149
which is fantastic. But more than that, the purpose

00:06:46.149 --> 00:06:49.170
of Minky is to give back. Her mission is to blanket

00:06:49.170 --> 00:06:51.810
the world in comfort. And the origin of Minky

00:06:51.810 --> 00:06:53.449
is unique in the sense that her daughter was

00:06:53.449 --> 00:06:56.189
just ill and she wanted to give her some comfort

00:06:56.189 --> 00:06:59.589
and that blanket was created to do that. And

00:06:59.589 --> 00:07:03.500
she was so overwhelmed by... how comfortable

00:07:03.500 --> 00:07:05.379
it was that the next day when she visited her

00:07:05.379 --> 00:07:06.740
daughter the hospital it was in someone else's

00:07:06.740 --> 00:07:09.319
room because they wanted comfort and so on and

00:07:09.319 --> 00:07:11.319
so on and so she created 50 out of the goodness

00:07:11.319 --> 00:07:14.360
of her heart and and then realized you know this

00:07:14.360 --> 00:07:17.480
is actually a business this isn't just you know

00:07:17.480 --> 00:07:19.800
providing something for my daughter this is actually

00:07:19.800 --> 00:07:24.490
i could really provide a need. And that is why

00:07:24.490 --> 00:07:27.209
I love Minky so much, is its purpose is to genuinely

00:07:27.209 --> 00:07:29.610
give back. And I don't think anyone who's listening

00:07:29.610 --> 00:07:33.069
to this who knows Minky doesn't know that. Whether

00:07:33.069 --> 00:07:35.370
it's Sandy Hendry personally or just the name

00:07:35.370 --> 00:07:38.089
Minky Couture, last year we donated $5 .5 million

00:07:38.089 --> 00:07:40.410
worth of blankets just to people in need. So

00:07:40.410 --> 00:07:43.209
whether that was hospitals, communities, natural

00:07:43.209 --> 00:07:45.470
disasters, I mean, we are always, as soon as

00:07:45.470 --> 00:07:47.250
we hear about it, we're first on the scene to

00:07:47.250 --> 00:07:50.329
help. And that's thanks to Sandy Hendry. So being

00:07:50.329 --> 00:07:53.870
able to be a part of that and being able to gift

00:07:53.870 --> 00:07:56.089
people blankets who have never had a minky or

00:07:56.089 --> 00:07:57.750
going through a hard time or celebrating something

00:07:57.750 --> 00:08:01.949
exciting, it really does something to me personally

00:08:01.949 --> 00:08:04.709
where I just feel so empowered that way. And

00:08:04.709 --> 00:08:07.170
Sandy's provided that and it's amazing. Well,

00:08:07.189 --> 00:08:09.170
I think one of the things that's great about

00:08:09.170 --> 00:08:12.209
a company and organization like yours is that

00:08:12.209 --> 00:08:16.889
when, as a consumer, which I am, when I'm buying

00:08:16.889 --> 00:08:19.470
a blanket, I also know that that purpose exists

00:08:19.470 --> 00:08:22.339
there, right? Right. um i don't remember if we've

00:08:22.339 --> 00:08:24.339
talked before or not but you know simon sinek

00:08:24.339 --> 00:08:26.120
talks a lot about the why and he says that people

00:08:26.120 --> 00:08:28.060
don't buy what you do they buy why you do it

00:08:28.060 --> 00:08:30.860
right and so for this last christmas i mentioned

00:08:30.860 --> 00:08:32.720
this to you actually you were the one that connected

00:08:32.720 --> 00:08:35.440
me with it and made it happen but um that's what

00:08:35.440 --> 00:08:37.620
we got our employees for their christmas gift

00:08:37.620 --> 00:08:40.460
because of the story and so at our christmas

00:08:40.460 --> 00:08:43.240
party we gave out the blankets but also read

00:08:43.240 --> 00:08:44.860
the little write -up that you guys have about

00:08:44.860 --> 00:08:47.220
why sandy started it what it's all about because

00:08:48.029 --> 00:08:49.870
We connect with that. And so when you when you

00:08:49.870 --> 00:08:51.950
purchase from an organization like yours, you

00:08:51.950 --> 00:08:54.809
feel kind of part of that goodness. Right. That's

00:08:54.809 --> 00:08:56.509
taking place. Right. Why it's really special.

00:08:56.629 --> 00:08:58.230
Well, another thing a lot of people don't know,

00:08:58.269 --> 00:09:00.009
too, is every blanket purchased, we actually

00:09:00.009 --> 00:09:03.970
donate a mini to a NICU. So so, you know, I think

00:09:03.970 --> 00:09:05.710
a lot of people would they're actually paying

00:09:05.710 --> 00:09:07.690
it forward when they purchase from NICU, which,

00:09:07.789 --> 00:09:09.870
again, sets us apart from everyone else. Yeah.

00:09:09.909 --> 00:09:12.909
So amazing. Yeah. So, OK, so let's let's take

00:09:12.909 --> 00:09:16.929
it like all the way back. to Thierry in high

00:09:16.929 --> 00:09:19.629
school. Oh. Okay, so you were in the drama club.

00:09:19.809 --> 00:09:22.909
I was. I was torn between being a cheerleader

00:09:22.909 --> 00:09:26.830
and being a drama nerd. And I'm saying nerd because

00:09:26.830 --> 00:09:29.990
I was a nerd. Sure. And I chose drama. I loved

00:09:29.990 --> 00:09:32.690
it. I mean, I fully embraced being in the drama

00:09:32.690 --> 00:09:35.269
club when I was in high school. So what drew

00:09:35.269 --> 00:09:38.690
you to that? What was it about performing, about

00:09:38.690 --> 00:09:44.210
drama that you enjoyed? I honestly, I loved,

00:09:44.800 --> 00:09:47.120
taking on the role of someone else. I loved being

00:09:47.120 --> 00:09:50.100
able to, I don't want to say put on a mask, but

00:09:50.100 --> 00:09:52.179
being able to kind of step into someone's shoes.

00:09:53.179 --> 00:09:57.080
That wasn't me and and portray it in a very fun

00:09:57.080 --> 00:10:00.019
way. I loved that. I love comedy, but I also

00:10:00.019 --> 00:10:04.639
love drama. So I did both. I did some showcases

00:10:04.639 --> 00:10:07.279
with my brother when he was in high school. I

00:10:07.279 --> 00:10:09.919
was in middle school and he brought me on to

00:10:09.919 --> 00:10:12.320
his showcases in high school and we took first

00:10:12.320 --> 00:10:14.720
place. I mean, we took we had we took ribbons

00:10:14.720 --> 00:10:18.399
because he he did theater and I admired him so

00:10:18.399 --> 00:10:21.860
much in that aspect. And so but I love just kind

00:10:21.860 --> 00:10:25.940
of. Maybe it was an escape, but I was also really

00:10:25.940 --> 00:10:30.120
good at it. I loved just embracing new identities.

00:10:30.179 --> 00:10:35.480
And it was fun. Yeah. For me, I loved the aspect

00:10:35.480 --> 00:10:38.980
of... bonding with your castmates oh for sure

00:10:38.980 --> 00:10:40.360
you know when you're in a production together

00:10:40.360 --> 00:10:42.580
and you practice and you rehearse and you mess

00:10:42.580 --> 00:10:45.059
up and you have to work through things and then

00:10:45.059 --> 00:10:47.120
you're doing that together you're putting on

00:10:47.120 --> 00:10:49.019
something special to connect with the audience

00:10:49.019 --> 00:10:52.159
together it's a really really amazing bonding

00:10:52.159 --> 00:10:54.120
experience that you have with your castmates

00:10:54.120 --> 00:10:57.759
um and then for me too there is just nothing

00:10:57.759 --> 00:11:01.100
like getting a roaring laughter from an audience

00:11:01.100 --> 00:11:04.039
love it it is just like it's a shot of adrenaline

00:11:04.039 --> 00:11:06.600
the best the best when they all start laughing

00:11:06.600 --> 00:11:08.500
and then you do the same show multiple nights

00:11:08.500 --> 00:11:10.100
and you still are getting laughs they're like

00:11:10.100 --> 00:11:12.419
this i'm on point tonight i mean you probably

00:11:12.419 --> 00:11:13.960
fill your head up with a lot of things that aren't

00:11:13.960 --> 00:11:16.879
real but the fact is yeah i love bringing joy

00:11:16.879 --> 00:11:19.539
to people and i i yeah that was always a great

00:11:19.879 --> 00:11:22.460
Were you, especially in comedies, did you end

00:11:22.460 --> 00:11:25.700
up ad -libbing very much? Oh, 100%. I was known

00:11:25.700 --> 00:11:29.139
for it. I mean, I remember I played a specific

00:11:29.139 --> 00:11:32.279
role where I was a sophomore and I got the lead

00:11:32.279 --> 00:11:34.580
and the seniors hated me. They were like, oh

00:11:34.580 --> 00:11:36.960
my gosh. And I was like, I don't know. And so

00:11:36.960 --> 00:11:41.169
anyway, I played the mean girl in school. And

00:11:41.169 --> 00:11:44.350
I remember Vanessa Harrington was her name. And

00:11:44.350 --> 00:11:47.929
she, everyone hated her in the play, right? And

00:11:47.929 --> 00:11:50.289
I always felt, I apologized after every take,

00:11:50.309 --> 00:11:53.090
like to my castmates. I was like, oh my gosh,

00:11:53.110 --> 00:11:55.169
I didn't mean it that way. But I was so mean.

00:11:55.250 --> 00:11:56.889
And I remember I worked at Juice It Up and this

00:11:56.889 --> 00:11:59.259
guy came in and he goes. wait a minute, you're

00:11:59.259 --> 00:12:00.960
the mean girl from that play. You're the mean

00:12:00.960 --> 00:12:03.200
girl, right? And I was like, yeah, that was me.

00:12:03.419 --> 00:12:05.600
But you're having a great day and here's your

00:12:05.600 --> 00:12:09.080
smoothie. But I remember people actually remembering

00:12:09.080 --> 00:12:10.759
me and I thought that was actually kind of cool.

00:12:10.840 --> 00:12:13.080
So there's a lot of cool things that happen too.

00:12:13.320 --> 00:12:17.279
I had some maturing to do in my abilities because

00:12:17.279 --> 00:12:18.740
the very first one I was in, it was in a one

00:12:18.740 --> 00:12:21.809
-act play. and i thought i played it okay it

00:12:21.809 --> 00:12:24.129
was a comedy uh but then afterwards when some

00:12:24.129 --> 00:12:25.950
people got to know me they're like oh you just

00:12:25.950 --> 00:12:28.389
played you and i was like well it's true like

00:12:28.389 --> 00:12:30.409
i was okay so i'm typecasting the character was

00:12:30.409 --> 00:12:32.269
me like i'm sorry that's true i didn't have to

00:12:32.269 --> 00:12:33.730
do a whole lot of acting yeah i just was kind

00:12:33.730 --> 00:12:36.070
of like myself and it was fine i love that but

00:12:36.070 --> 00:12:37.730
i had to evolve after that right you gotta you

00:12:37.730 --> 00:12:39.129
gotta learn how to step into somebody else's

00:12:39.129 --> 00:12:41.210
shoes and see something different and kind of

00:12:41.210 --> 00:12:45.120
have fun with it yeah So you then decide to be

00:12:45.120 --> 00:12:47.340
a communications major and a theater minor. So

00:12:47.340 --> 00:12:49.019
tell me about the decision to be a communications

00:12:49.019 --> 00:12:51.039
major. So I actually was going to be a theater

00:12:51.039 --> 00:12:53.679
major when I first got there. And I started taking

00:12:53.679 --> 00:12:57.799
communication classes as my minor. My first communication

00:12:57.799 --> 00:13:00.559
class, I called my dad and I was like, I'm switching

00:13:00.559 --> 00:13:03.860
my major. This is everything I love. This was

00:13:03.860 --> 00:13:07.340
public relations, marketing, and everything I'm

00:13:07.340 --> 00:13:10.419
kind of doing now. But I had no idea how much

00:13:10.419 --> 00:13:12.679
I was going to fall in love with it. And I do

00:13:12.679 --> 00:13:14.720
think that FranklinCovey, just growing up with

00:13:14.720 --> 00:13:17.220
it, my dad, you know, growing up, our family

00:13:17.220 --> 00:13:18.960
home meetings consisted of the seven habits of

00:13:18.960 --> 00:13:22.100
highly effective people. And I was the only person

00:13:22.100 --> 00:13:24.720
in my elementary school with a day planner. But

00:13:24.720 --> 00:13:26.980
I do think that that kind of stuff kind of helped

00:13:26.980 --> 00:13:29.840
set me up for success to actually enjoy that

00:13:29.840 --> 00:13:33.960
major. And so I flopped pretty quick. And I just

00:13:33.960 --> 00:13:37.940
fell in love with all of it. I co -founded the

00:13:37.940 --> 00:13:40.120
Presentation Center at BYU -Idaho, which still

00:13:40.120 --> 00:13:44.759
exists today. Wow. Students have to come and

00:13:44.759 --> 00:13:48.019
present their presentations. And I will help

00:13:48.019 --> 00:13:50.379
critique and kind of help them set them up for

00:13:50.379 --> 00:13:52.340
success for when they go to their class to actually

00:13:52.340 --> 00:13:55.419
do the actual presentation. And so a lot of the

00:13:55.419 --> 00:13:57.179
teachers started making it mandatory for them

00:13:57.179 --> 00:14:00.519
to come through. And I loved it because I love

00:14:00.519 --> 00:14:03.860
presenting. And I always tell people, you've

00:14:03.860 --> 00:14:06.080
got to be excited. You've got to really embrace

00:14:06.080 --> 00:14:08.179
what you're talking about and be passionate about

00:14:08.179 --> 00:14:10.379
it because your audience is only as excited as

00:14:10.379 --> 00:14:13.370
you are. And that translates into my job. job

00:14:13.370 --> 00:14:15.870
today. Right. And so, yeah, I just, there's so

00:14:15.870 --> 00:14:18.950
many aspects of it that I loved. Yeah. So you,

00:14:19.070 --> 00:14:21.710
as you mentioned, you, in your last year, you

00:14:21.710 --> 00:14:25.750
get married, you do a little bit of work at Franklin

00:14:25.750 --> 00:14:27.169
Covey, then you decide to kind of focus on the

00:14:27.169 --> 00:14:31.110
family. So if, if it's okay, I mean, I don't

00:14:31.110 --> 00:14:32.870
want to like put a damper on, on our conversation,

00:14:33.009 --> 00:14:34.870
but I want to take through people through like

00:14:34.870 --> 00:14:36.429
some hard things you've had experience in your

00:14:36.429 --> 00:14:38.090
life. Cause you did have to experience some,

00:14:38.149 --> 00:14:41.600
like, I mean, honestly. things that somebody

00:14:41.600 --> 00:14:43.279
should never have to experience like things that

00:14:43.279 --> 00:14:46.980
are so hard that it's I Can't even personally

00:14:46.980 --> 00:14:49.100
imagine how hard some of those things are. Yeah

00:14:49.100 --> 00:14:52.500
Yeah, so so why I'd gotten married and we had

00:14:52.500 --> 00:14:56.080
our first son miles and he was perfect and like

00:14:56.080 --> 00:14:59.429
any other anxious lds woman i wanted to have

00:14:59.429 --> 00:15:02.029
six kids you know but then you have one and you

00:15:02.029 --> 00:15:04.889
that count goes down to four um but but miles

00:15:04.889 --> 00:15:06.889
was great and and so then we got pregnant with

00:15:06.889 --> 00:15:10.610
our second and uh he was perfect as well and

00:15:10.610 --> 00:15:14.549
his name was jack and uh everything was great

00:15:14.549 --> 00:15:18.029
uh except the first night after he was born full

00:15:18.029 --> 00:15:20.950
term and everything the first day um i woke up

00:15:20.950 --> 00:15:22.169
in the morning and they were like oh you know

00:15:22.169 --> 00:15:24.509
he didn't really eat his milk very well um we

00:15:24.509 --> 00:15:26.149
switched him to sensitive formula and i was like

00:15:26.149 --> 00:15:28.940
oh okay and Didn't think anything of it. Michael,

00:15:28.980 --> 00:15:30.539
he's just spitting up his milk. He's a newborn

00:15:30.539 --> 00:15:33.379
trying to learn how to eat, you know. Anyway,

00:15:33.519 --> 00:15:35.519
we found out that his intestines weren't connected

00:15:35.519 --> 00:15:37.720
properly. And so they had to life flight him

00:15:37.720 --> 00:15:41.360
to primary children's. That was devastating in

00:15:41.360 --> 00:15:43.779
itself, right? So you're going from the highest

00:15:43.779 --> 00:15:46.299
of high to the lowest of lows in the sense that,

00:15:46.360 --> 00:15:49.379
oh, my gosh, he has to have surgery. He's brand

00:15:49.379 --> 00:15:51.779
new and he has to have surgery. So we're kind

00:15:51.779 --> 00:15:53.299
of just like emotionally going through that.

00:15:53.799 --> 00:15:58.500
They do emergency surgery the next morning. And

00:15:58.500 --> 00:16:02.120
so that was day two. And they do it, and it's

00:16:02.120 --> 00:16:03.899
great. They're like, we do this all the time.

00:16:03.940 --> 00:16:07.779
The surgery is pretty routine. Again, best hospital

00:16:07.779 --> 00:16:09.740
west of the Mississippi, so I'm thinking I'm

00:16:09.740 --> 00:16:11.379
in good hands. Where was it at? Which hospital?

00:16:11.440 --> 00:16:15.340
Primary Children's up in Salt Lake. And so we

00:16:15.340 --> 00:16:17.580
were prepared to stay there for four weeks. That's

00:16:17.580 --> 00:16:20.850
what they told us. And we prepared for that.

00:16:20.909 --> 00:16:23.350
And the next day, so day three comes around and

00:16:23.350 --> 00:16:24.610
they said, we're going to take him off oxygen.

00:16:24.750 --> 00:16:26.590
He's doing awesome. We're just going to see what

00:16:26.590 --> 00:16:32.029
happens. Okay, great. And we get there and we

00:16:32.029 --> 00:16:36.070
go to lunch. And my husband at the time, we both

00:16:36.070 --> 00:16:39.419
had like 17 missed calls from the hospital. And

00:16:39.419 --> 00:16:42.139
we sat there and pretended to eat and then we

00:16:42.139 --> 00:16:44.340
looked down at our phones and we realized, oh

00:16:44.340 --> 00:16:46.740
my gosh, something's wrong. Well, his toes started

00:16:46.740 --> 00:16:49.899
to turn black. And so during that surgery, he

00:16:49.899 --> 00:16:52.539
developed an infection. So they went back and

00:16:52.539 --> 00:16:54.580
the next several days were surgery after surgery

00:16:54.580 --> 00:16:56.480
trying to figure out if they could find the hole

00:16:56.480 --> 00:16:58.559
that was poked or something and they couldn't

00:16:58.559 --> 00:17:02.360
find it. So it got to the point that day six,

00:17:02.480 --> 00:17:06.059
his whole... legs were turning black and it was

00:17:06.059 --> 00:17:07.799
only getting worse and they just said it's gone

00:17:07.799 --> 00:17:12.519
septic and there's nothing we can do so I remember

00:17:12.519 --> 00:17:15.400
the physician telling me it's like a freight

00:17:15.400 --> 00:17:18.519
train going 200 miles an hour we can't stop it

00:17:18.519 --> 00:17:23.079
and at that moment I realized this was real like

00:17:23.079 --> 00:17:26.079
I truly I was this I was so naive I was so hopeful

00:17:26.079 --> 00:17:28.119
I'm a glass half full person I just I really

00:17:28.119 --> 00:17:30.180
did think that we were going to figure this out

00:17:30.180 --> 00:17:35.039
and as soon as she had said that to me that hit

00:17:35.039 --> 00:17:37.640
me pretty hard. And so I looked at my husband

00:17:37.640 --> 00:17:40.319
and I, we both kind of, we didn't even say anything.

00:17:40.460 --> 00:17:41.819
We just said, how long is it going to take to

00:17:41.819 --> 00:17:43.720
disconnect everything? Because we wanted to say

00:17:43.720 --> 00:17:45.240
goodbye. We didn't want to send him to another

00:17:45.240 --> 00:17:48.400
surgery and attempt some miracle that we both

00:17:48.400 --> 00:17:51.819
knew wasn't going to happen. And so we disconnected

00:17:51.819 --> 00:17:54.140
everything and he passed away in my arms and

00:17:54.140 --> 00:17:58.099
he was perfect. And I remember actually, I've

00:17:58.099 --> 00:17:59.759
never said this, it's weird, but I remember holding

00:17:59.759 --> 00:18:01.900
him and his whole, like I said, his whole body

00:18:01.900 --> 00:18:04.640
was turning. black and but his hand that i was

00:18:04.640 --> 00:18:07.460
holding at the time was perfectly pink and perfect

00:18:07.460 --> 00:18:09.660
and i just remember kissing his hand and just

00:18:09.660 --> 00:18:13.039
um telling him i'd be there soon with him and

00:18:13.039 --> 00:18:20.299
then he was gone so yeah it was it was hard um

00:18:20.299 --> 00:18:23.900
it was 11 years in may so and you'd think i'd

00:18:23.900 --> 00:18:26.519
be over it at this point but i i i don't think

00:18:26.519 --> 00:18:29.640
i grieved it as much as i should have sure so

00:18:29.640 --> 00:18:32.210
i still have moments of that are really hard

00:18:32.210 --> 00:18:36.349
but yeah when i as i've listened to different

00:18:36.349 --> 00:18:38.890
people talk about you know very difficult things

00:18:38.890 --> 00:18:41.650
especially like losing a child which is that

00:18:41.650 --> 00:18:44.970
you don't ever get over it no it's always just

00:18:44.970 --> 00:18:48.150
a part of you yeah and is that is that what you

00:18:48.150 --> 00:18:50.089
feel is it kind of it's part of you it's there's

00:18:50.089 --> 00:18:51.910
a hole in your heart and it's never going to

00:18:51.910 --> 00:18:55.039
be filled so so i remember right after We lost

00:18:55.039 --> 00:18:57.039
him. I was like, well, I'm getting pregnant again.

00:18:57.079 --> 00:18:59.799
I'm bringing him back. I'm not going to go a

00:18:59.799 --> 00:19:02.799
day with this is ridiculous. And so I got pregnant

00:19:02.799 --> 00:19:04.980
again, and I miscarried. And then I got pregnant

00:19:04.980 --> 00:19:07.539
again, and I miscarried. And I remember every

00:19:07.539 --> 00:19:08.900
time I got pregnant, my sister was like, why

00:19:08.900 --> 00:19:10.680
are you excited right now? Like, aren't you nervous?

00:19:10.859 --> 00:19:13.200
And I was like, no. I know that I'm not going

00:19:13.200 --> 00:19:15.319
to have anything wrong this time because the

00:19:15.319 --> 00:19:17.859
Lord's not that cruel. And you convince yourself

00:19:17.859 --> 00:19:21.039
that, you know. So anyway, I miscarried twice

00:19:21.039 --> 00:19:24.410
after Jack. And then I got pregnant naturally

00:19:24.410 --> 00:19:26.569
with Cohen because I had to go on fertility to

00:19:26.569 --> 00:19:29.329
get pregnant. And so I got pregnant with Cohen

00:19:29.329 --> 00:19:32.150
naturally and we named him Cohen Jack. And the

00:19:32.150 --> 00:19:34.990
miracle of Cohen is that he looked exactly like

00:19:34.990 --> 00:19:37.589
Jack when he was born. It was a blessing and

00:19:37.589 --> 00:19:39.710
it was crazy. And Cohen is still Cohen, but there

00:19:39.710 --> 00:19:42.690
was a lot of Jack in him, which was amazing.

00:19:44.240 --> 00:19:46.299
But yeah, and then we had Maverick after that.

00:19:46.420 --> 00:19:48.519
And you think that all these other kids would

00:19:48.519 --> 00:19:50.339
fill that hole, right? Like, well, they're amazing.

00:19:50.460 --> 00:19:52.339
They're perfect, wonderful children, wonderful

00:19:52.339 --> 00:19:55.799
boys. But no, there's always a hole there for

00:19:55.799 --> 00:19:59.259
sure. How do you feel like that experience kind

00:19:59.259 --> 00:20:03.039
of changed you and played into who you are today?

00:20:04.079 --> 00:20:07.390
So I like to think I was. a decent person before

00:20:07.390 --> 00:20:09.730
Jack. I mean, I look back and I'm like, I served

00:20:09.730 --> 00:20:13.509
people. I was kind. I think I was pretty good.

00:20:13.670 --> 00:20:15.990
But, you know, hindsight's always 20 -20. And

00:20:15.990 --> 00:20:20.430
you look back and I am so much more empathetic.

00:20:21.230 --> 00:20:24.049
I love listening to other people's stories. I

00:20:24.049 --> 00:20:27.029
love learning from them. I've learned that people...

00:20:27.450 --> 00:20:30.650
actually enjoy hearing my hardships because they

00:20:30.650 --> 00:20:33.170
either can relate to it or it makes them feel

00:20:33.170 --> 00:20:36.309
like they're less alone. And so I've been able

00:20:36.309 --> 00:20:39.829
to kind of connect with people on a more personal

00:20:39.829 --> 00:20:41.730
empathetic level that I don't think I was capable

00:20:41.730 --> 00:20:44.650
of before. Maybe I was more surface before and

00:20:44.650 --> 00:20:47.289
I didn't realize it, but I've become more intentional

00:20:47.289 --> 00:20:49.990
with my relationships and how I navigate life.

00:20:50.230 --> 00:20:52.589
And I do attribute a lot to who I am because

00:20:52.589 --> 00:20:55.430
of Jack, for sure. In those situations, especially

00:20:55.430 --> 00:20:58.990
part of Part of grieving is that you're also

00:20:58.990 --> 00:21:04.690
with someone else who is also grieving. What

00:21:04.690 --> 00:21:08.809
was that like for both of you and your husband

00:21:08.809 --> 00:21:10.230
at that time to be going through that grieving

00:21:10.230 --> 00:21:15.410
process? You know, I look back, and I've said

00:21:15.410 --> 00:21:17.849
this before, but I truly don't think we grieved

00:21:17.849 --> 00:21:20.049
Jack the way we should have. So we had Miles

00:21:20.049 --> 00:21:23.269
at the time, and Miles slept in our bed for a

00:21:23.269 --> 00:21:26.619
year. uh right between us and and intentionally

00:21:26.619 --> 00:21:29.619
because we were clinging on to whatever we had

00:21:29.619 --> 00:21:33.019
in front of us we'd visit the cemetery i i think

00:21:33.019 --> 00:21:35.180
i was i went every day for two months and i finally

00:21:35.180 --> 00:21:37.539
said this is probably not the best for my son

00:21:37.539 --> 00:21:39.759
to go to a cemetery every day so we spaced it

00:21:39.759 --> 00:21:42.460
out a bit and now we just go once a month but

00:21:42.460 --> 00:21:46.809
um i I don't think we actually grieved him the

00:21:46.809 --> 00:21:48.869
way we should have. It didn't pull us further

00:21:48.869 --> 00:21:51.450
away from each other by any means. We got a lot

00:21:51.450 --> 00:21:55.289
closer to the Lord as a unit. But we didn't really

00:21:55.289 --> 00:21:58.309
talk about him very much. We kind of just put

00:21:58.309 --> 00:22:00.210
the focus on Miles. And then if I was getting

00:22:00.210 --> 00:22:02.289
pregnant at the time, we wanted to bring Jack

00:22:02.289 --> 00:22:05.349
back and just get pregnant with a new baby. And

00:22:05.349 --> 00:22:08.789
so we didn't really grieve him. And so I think

00:22:08.789 --> 00:22:13.089
that was a... I think that was a small factor

00:22:13.089 --> 00:22:14.569
to why it didn't work out with us, why we got

00:22:14.569 --> 00:22:16.190
divorced later on. I think I convinced myself

00:22:16.190 --> 00:22:18.509
we needed to stay together for Jack. And then

00:22:18.509 --> 00:22:20.450
I realized that Jack was always going to be a

00:22:20.450 --> 00:22:23.369
part of us. But because of that, I think we neglected

00:22:23.369 --> 00:22:28.430
our relationship. Did you feel like at some point

00:22:28.430 --> 00:22:30.910
in time you went through that grieving process

00:22:30.910 --> 00:22:32.869
like you needed to? I think I'm still going through

00:22:32.869 --> 00:22:39.140
it. So I think, yeah, I think I'm still. This

00:22:39.140 --> 00:22:41.480
sounds terrible, but I do feel like I haven't

00:22:41.480 --> 00:22:46.599
met a partner that, or at least, you know, that

00:22:46.599 --> 00:22:50.359
I've needed to kind of help me have a safe space

00:22:50.359 --> 00:22:53.880
to grieve. I've done a lot of therapy and things

00:22:53.880 --> 00:22:56.039
like that, but there's something about talking

00:22:56.039 --> 00:22:58.119
to someone else about it that is a safe place.

00:22:59.000 --> 00:23:01.359
is different than therapy you just feel like

00:23:01.359 --> 00:23:03.640
you can say things that you don't usually say

00:23:03.640 --> 00:23:06.380
or the empathy on that side or just being able

00:23:06.380 --> 00:23:09.779
to just breathe a certain way and and i don't

00:23:09.779 --> 00:23:12.000
know if i've had that experience yet so i still

00:23:12.000 --> 00:23:15.579
i think i'm still kind of grieving sure well

00:23:15.579 --> 00:23:17.640
again i mean i think to some degree you know

00:23:17.640 --> 00:23:20.920
i think i also heard it put that when you experience

00:23:20.920 --> 00:23:24.400
a loss like this um that you're not going through

00:23:24.400 --> 00:23:26.319
the stages of grief that you traditionally hear

00:23:26.319 --> 00:23:28.099
about right people hear about the stages of grief

00:23:28.099 --> 00:23:30.680
and as i understand it it was actually uh uh

00:23:30.680 --> 00:23:33.920
on jay shetty's show when he was talking to somebody

00:23:33.920 --> 00:23:36.700
uh they talked about like the stages of grief

00:23:36.700 --> 00:23:38.200
were actually designed for someone at the end

00:23:38.200 --> 00:23:39.839
of their life they go through these stages to

00:23:39.839 --> 00:23:41.740
accept that they're they're about ready to pass

00:23:41.740 --> 00:23:45.210
on but that going through grief for the loss

00:23:45.210 --> 00:23:47.170
of a loved one or loss of a child is not like

00:23:47.170 --> 00:23:49.670
these definitive stages, right? Like it's this

00:23:49.670 --> 00:23:52.190
overall thing that you're kind of always experiencing

00:23:52.190 --> 00:23:53.869
and this hole in your heart that's always there

00:23:53.869 --> 00:23:56.710
and just learning to kind of live with it and

00:23:56.710 --> 00:23:58.950
accept where it's at and accept that pain that's

00:23:58.950 --> 00:24:03.289
there and also then finding joy in life, right?

00:24:03.390 --> 00:24:05.470
Which is part of why I just, so I was thinking

00:24:05.470 --> 00:24:08.630
about visiting with you today. It's so perfectly

00:24:08.630 --> 00:24:12.500
in line with our show of the Yes And. right yes

00:24:12.500 --> 00:24:14.720
we can accept that we have this loss yes we can

00:24:14.720 --> 00:24:16.900
accept that we'll never get over the loss of

00:24:16.900 --> 00:24:21.079
that child um and we can also still build a really

00:24:21.079 --> 00:24:23.599
happy life yeah we can still enjoy the other

00:24:23.599 --> 00:24:26.279
people in our lives your other kids for sure

00:24:26.279 --> 00:24:27.640
who you just adore and you can just tell you

00:24:27.640 --> 00:24:29.440
light up when you talk about it right yeah so

00:24:29.440 --> 00:24:35.599
so you um you and your husband at the time it

00:24:35.599 --> 00:24:37.319
ends up kind of not working out which is also

00:24:37.319 --> 00:24:42.069
hard yeah and you know i we've are still great

00:24:42.069 --> 00:24:44.549
friends. It was just one of those sad stories,

00:24:44.630 --> 00:24:48.069
you know, one of those stories where we just

00:24:48.069 --> 00:24:52.339
kind of lost each other. When it came down to

00:24:52.339 --> 00:24:54.339
it, we just couldn't make it work. And as much

00:24:54.339 --> 00:24:55.720
as we wanted to stay together for the kids, it

00:24:55.720 --> 00:24:59.440
just wasn't. I know I wasn't as happy as I could

00:24:59.440 --> 00:25:03.319
have been. And he's a wonderful dad, a wonderful

00:25:03.319 --> 00:25:06.079
human being. I mean, I couldn't ask for a better

00:25:06.079 --> 00:25:08.079
co -parent, truly. I think we're an anomaly,

00:25:08.299 --> 00:25:11.920
the way how well we get along. I don't think

00:25:11.920 --> 00:25:15.460
everyone loves that. But it's good for the kids.

00:25:15.599 --> 00:25:21.529
So it's good. How was that with your kids? had

00:25:21.529 --> 00:25:24.430
one child at a time so super young two other

00:25:24.430 --> 00:25:26.529
kids afterwards yeah you guys still kind of talk

00:25:26.529 --> 00:25:30.630
about jack yeah so so yeah i mean we at the time

00:25:30.630 --> 00:25:33.690
our kids were two five and eight when we got

00:25:33.690 --> 00:25:37.890
divorced um and they were pretty young so i mean

00:25:37.890 --> 00:25:39.589
i think the eight -year -old i was two when my

00:25:39.589 --> 00:25:41.890
parents got divorced um and i don't remember

00:25:41.890 --> 00:25:44.089
them being together and it's probably maverick's

00:25:44.089 --> 00:25:48.009
experience miles does my oldest and i don't know

00:25:48.009 --> 00:25:51.509
if cohen does too much but i think the biggest

00:25:51.509 --> 00:25:55.220
thing was watching having Miles watch Nate and

00:25:55.220 --> 00:25:58.460
I co -parent and how good that was. I'm hoping

00:25:58.460 --> 00:26:00.779
that he looks back and it was a positive experience.

00:26:01.359 --> 00:26:05.140
I know he sees us get along today, so that's

00:26:05.140 --> 00:26:08.380
good. But I like to think that the transition

00:26:08.380 --> 00:26:12.400
was as smooth as it could have been. Yeah, I

00:26:12.400 --> 00:26:16.740
mean, it's the primary factor in how kids do.

00:26:17.470 --> 00:26:19.769
from divorced households is how well the parents

00:26:19.769 --> 00:26:21.349
get along and co -parent. That is the primary

00:26:21.349 --> 00:26:24.750
factor in how well adjusted they will be. And

00:26:24.750 --> 00:26:26.970
so the fact that you all have found a way to

00:26:26.970 --> 00:26:31.150
do that is huge for those kids. And it's really

00:26:31.150 --> 00:26:33.390
hard. It's really hard sometimes for people to

00:26:33.390 --> 00:26:36.109
do that because sometimes you have to swallow

00:26:36.109 --> 00:26:41.849
a bit of pride and not have to point out all

00:26:41.849 --> 00:26:43.569
the things that somebody else does wrong, right?

00:26:43.710 --> 00:26:45.650
And it's sometimes really hard because... The

00:26:45.650 --> 00:26:47.349
other side is not perfect, right? Yeah. But neither

00:26:47.349 --> 00:26:51.910
are we. Right. So I guess here's something I

00:26:51.910 --> 00:26:53.630
was thinking about. When you're kind of going

00:26:53.630 --> 00:26:56.569
through different losses, both either when you

00:26:56.569 --> 00:26:59.369
lost Jack or when you got divorced, what was

00:26:59.369 --> 00:27:03.349
the most helpful thing that people would say?

00:27:04.109 --> 00:27:05.710
Because, you know, whenever somebody goes through

00:27:05.710 --> 00:27:08.309
something hard, it's always hard to figure out

00:27:08.309 --> 00:27:10.849
like how to be there for somebody or what things

00:27:10.849 --> 00:27:12.329
to say. What was the most helpful thing somebody

00:27:12.329 --> 00:27:14.680
said? Or that in general people would say? Honestly,

00:27:14.839 --> 00:27:16.220
I think people were always like, you're doing

00:27:16.220 --> 00:27:17.819
a better job than you give yourself credit for.

00:27:17.940 --> 00:27:21.480
I think a lot of people, we're so quick to be

00:27:21.480 --> 00:27:23.839
hard on ourselves and not give ourselves grace.

00:27:24.740 --> 00:27:28.180
But I do think that I was doing a better job

00:27:28.180 --> 00:27:31.319
than I was giving myself credit for. But I still

00:27:31.319 --> 00:27:33.539
have mom guilt. Any mom out there that's working

00:27:33.539 --> 00:27:35.420
who has children, whether they're married or

00:27:35.420 --> 00:27:38.950
divorced, has mom guilt. It's a real thing. my

00:27:38.950 --> 00:27:41.529
kids are home by themselves right now. So, I

00:27:41.529 --> 00:27:44.670
mean, they, my oldest is watching them and, you

00:27:44.670 --> 00:27:46.809
know, I had to have conversation with him about,

00:27:46.849 --> 00:27:48.789
you know, just the phase of life we're in and

00:27:48.789 --> 00:27:52.190
it is what it is. But I think that my kids are

00:27:52.190 --> 00:27:53.950
happy, you know, and I think that was the other

00:27:53.950 --> 00:27:56.309
thing they pointed out is that. Your kids are

00:27:56.309 --> 00:27:58.710
happy. They're doing great. You know, they they

00:27:58.710 --> 00:28:01.130
they want to go to mom and dad's house. Right.

00:28:01.210 --> 00:28:03.009
So it's not I want to stay here. I want to stay

00:28:03.009 --> 00:28:04.769
there. It's they love they were looking forward

00:28:04.769 --> 00:28:06.650
to going to both households, which, again, like

00:28:06.650 --> 00:28:09.529
you said earlier, is it's it's unique. It's an

00:28:09.529 --> 00:28:12.069
anomaly. We have both parents saying such positive

00:28:12.069 --> 00:28:15.029
things about each other, which is which is really

00:28:15.029 --> 00:28:18.130
great. So I do think I was, you know, doing probably

00:28:18.130 --> 00:28:21.029
a better job. And that encouragement is so helpful

00:28:21.029 --> 00:28:22.569
when you're going through the hard time because.

00:28:23.160 --> 00:28:25.299
I didn't think I was doing a great job. But for

00:28:25.299 --> 00:28:27.059
someone else on the outside to point out, like,

00:28:27.059 --> 00:28:28.759
actually, you look like you're doing a great

00:28:28.759 --> 00:28:31.359
job. And that was very validating. For sure.

00:28:32.720 --> 00:28:36.039
On the other hand, what were some of the most

00:28:36.039 --> 00:28:38.299
hurtful things people would say, even if they

00:28:38.299 --> 00:28:43.960
weren't now intended? Well, it's, and, you know,

00:28:43.980 --> 00:28:45.859
this is Utah for you, but I'll just call a spade

00:28:45.859 --> 00:28:48.160
a spade. We're very quick to judge other people.

00:28:49.500 --> 00:28:52.440
Very quick to create narratives that we have

00:28:52.440 --> 00:28:58.259
no idea are true or not. I think I've, I don't

00:28:58.259 --> 00:28:59.759
know if this is in your notes, but we'll just

00:28:59.759 --> 00:29:01.140
address the elephant in the room. I recently

00:29:01.140 --> 00:29:03.819
just got divorced again. So that was, I was married

00:29:03.819 --> 00:29:05.940
for a year and a half, but I'm in the same ward

00:29:05.940 --> 00:29:09.140
and been divorced twice in that same ward. And

00:29:09.140 --> 00:29:14.420
there's a lot of, I lost friends, lost family

00:29:14.420 --> 00:29:19.220
for little bits of time. Everything's good now,

00:29:19.400 --> 00:29:21.759
but going through that, I mean, you find out

00:29:21.759 --> 00:29:23.819
who's there for you, who's not there for you.

00:29:23.920 --> 00:29:26.160
And there was a lot of narratives that were created

00:29:26.160 --> 00:29:29.619
that weren't true. But I showed up every Sunday,

00:29:29.700 --> 00:29:33.720
and I never, ever wavered from that. My testimony

00:29:33.720 --> 00:29:36.980
is too strong in the church. I just know that

00:29:36.980 --> 00:29:39.000
I've got my kids looking at me and Jack is my

00:29:39.000 --> 00:29:42.019
compass. I refuse to negotiate or give up anything

00:29:42.019 --> 00:29:44.140
that would sacrifice me getting back to him.

00:29:44.720 --> 00:29:46.640
People don't know my whole story. They don't

00:29:46.640 --> 00:29:48.539
know what went on behind closed doors in both

00:29:48.539 --> 00:29:52.539
my marriages, right? And so I've learned to just

00:29:52.539 --> 00:29:55.680
kind of develop a thick skin and I know what's

00:29:55.680 --> 00:29:58.079
true and I know I'm doing my best and I know

00:29:58.079 --> 00:30:01.099
where I'm going and that's all that matters.

00:30:01.500 --> 00:30:05.180
I think from my experience, both being divorced,

00:30:05.660 --> 00:30:08.960
uh i got divorced uh i think 14 years ago now

00:30:08.960 --> 00:30:12.099
13 years ago but also being a divorce attorney

00:30:12.099 --> 00:30:17.299
in utah uh with our culture it which is you know

00:30:17.299 --> 00:30:20.900
uh very much so it's maybe less now but very

00:30:20.900 --> 00:30:23.019
much historically it was a scarlet letter to

00:30:23.019 --> 00:30:25.480
be divorced 100 you know it didn't matter the

00:30:25.480 --> 00:30:29.779
reason it still was and it was one of the hardest

00:30:29.779 --> 00:30:34.319
things for me getting divorced um Which was that?

00:30:34.400 --> 00:30:37.740
Knowing what that was going to look like, both

00:30:37.740 --> 00:30:41.299
for me in my social circles, for me in the congregation

00:30:41.299 --> 00:30:46.240
that I was in, for people around me. And I probably

00:30:46.240 --> 00:30:49.799
waited a lot longer because of that. Just knowing

00:30:49.799 --> 00:30:52.740
what that was going to look like, having seen

00:30:52.740 --> 00:30:57.420
it. It was tough. It was hard. And it's definitely

00:30:57.420 --> 00:31:00.099
a real thing that people judge and they shouldn't.

00:31:00.349 --> 00:31:02.490
Mm -hmm, and they do yeah, and they do anyways

00:31:02.490 --> 00:31:06.009
they do But developing that thick skin is is

00:31:06.009 --> 00:31:07.970
like you said it's it's it's really important

00:31:07.970 --> 00:31:10.309
because you have to just be able to move forward

00:31:10.309 --> 00:31:12.710
and be Confident in yourself and who you are

00:31:12.710 --> 00:31:14.789
knowing the truth and knowing what's really out

00:31:14.789 --> 00:31:16.809
there and but also knowing that like we all make

00:31:16.809 --> 00:31:19.670
mistakes Well, my first marriage was I the perfect

00:31:19.670 --> 00:31:22.710
husband? No. No, I was not I've learned from

00:31:22.710 --> 00:31:25.269
it though Like I'm still learning every day on

00:31:25.269 --> 00:31:27.650
how to be better but it's all just a process

00:31:27.650 --> 00:31:32.200
and the more The more grace that we can give

00:31:32.200 --> 00:31:34.299
each other when someone's going through a hard

00:31:34.299 --> 00:31:36.799
season, I think the better. I love that what

00:31:36.799 --> 00:31:39.339
you said about people encouraging you that you

00:31:39.339 --> 00:31:41.420
were doing better than you thought and validating

00:31:41.420 --> 00:31:43.700
the efforts you were making. I think that's really,

00:31:43.779 --> 00:31:45.759
really important. That validation is really important

00:31:45.759 --> 00:31:47.500
when someone's going through a hard season. Yeah.

00:31:48.160 --> 00:31:51.440
So, okay. So when we talk about this process

00:31:51.440 --> 00:31:55.400
of becoming. Let's wrap in Moana. Okay. So, I

00:31:55.400 --> 00:31:57.500
mean, everybody's seen Moana, right? But just

00:31:57.500 --> 00:32:00.140
in case somebody hasn't seen Moana, give us like

00:32:00.140 --> 00:32:02.680
the lay of the land. Give us the overall 30 ,000

00:32:02.680 --> 00:32:06.839
foot view of the movie Moana. Yeah. So, I mean,

00:32:06.859 --> 00:32:09.539
she's drawn to, she knows she's destined to do

00:32:09.539 --> 00:32:11.900
more than what she's doing. So she knows that

00:32:11.900 --> 00:32:15.339
she needs to lean into that, but she's got a

00:32:15.339 --> 00:32:18.559
lot of, not a lot of support at all. And so she's

00:32:18.559 --> 00:32:20.279
realizing she's going to, if she's going to do

00:32:20.279 --> 00:32:21.680
this, she's going to have to go out on her own.

00:32:22.349 --> 00:32:24.470
Um, she does have her grandma that is her support

00:32:24.470 --> 00:32:27.289
initially to get her out there, but, um, which

00:32:27.289 --> 00:32:28.690
is always nice to have someone in your corner.

00:32:28.750 --> 00:32:31.410
Right. But, but the reality is that she is on

00:32:31.410 --> 00:32:33.789
her own and she's, she's embarking on journeys

00:32:33.789 --> 00:32:37.369
that she's not only not prepared to handle or,

00:32:37.410 --> 00:32:39.910
but she doesn't know what is out there. So she's,

00:32:39.910 --> 00:32:42.589
she's about to go out and, and, and conquer things

00:32:42.589 --> 00:32:44.829
that she didn't even know she was capable of

00:32:44.829 --> 00:32:48.220
or. or any of that. So it's a lot of unknown.

00:32:48.480 --> 00:32:51.839
It's a lot of pushing through and going through

00:32:51.839 --> 00:32:55.660
things that are not just hard, but scary. And

00:32:55.660 --> 00:32:59.619
then realizing that she was not only capable,

00:32:59.799 --> 00:33:02.579
but she was extremely successful in her mission

00:33:02.579 --> 00:33:04.980
to go out into the ocean and do all these things

00:33:04.980 --> 00:33:08.960
and inevitably save the island, right? So everyone

00:33:08.960 --> 00:33:11.259
was happier after she did what she needed to

00:33:11.259 --> 00:33:15.150
do. um definitely face doubters so many doubters

00:33:15.150 --> 00:33:17.769
her dad right yeah what was interesting when

00:33:17.769 --> 00:33:19.230
i was watching it back i don't get your take

00:33:19.230 --> 00:33:21.769
on this is i mean obviously her dad was the biggest

00:33:21.769 --> 00:33:24.710
doubt like no one goes beyond the reef right

00:33:24.710 --> 00:33:26.029
like that's what he's saying like what makes

00:33:26.029 --> 00:33:28.529
you the exception yeah yeah i thought it was

00:33:28.529 --> 00:33:32.490
interesting on how um when she just got and kind

00:33:32.490 --> 00:33:34.240
of he got after her for wanting to go beyond

00:33:34.240 --> 00:33:36.119
the reef when there was no fish. And then her

00:33:36.119 --> 00:33:37.880
mom comes to her and kind of explains why he

00:33:37.880 --> 00:33:39.640
feels that way. And that was really interesting

00:33:39.640 --> 00:33:42.319
because, you know, it is really easy to judge.

00:33:42.440 --> 00:33:44.180
And it's certainly easy to judge him. Like, bro,

00:33:44.400 --> 00:33:47.619
your island's dying. There's no fish. The coconut,

00:33:47.859 --> 00:33:49.640
they're all rotten. Like, you got to do something

00:33:49.640 --> 00:33:52.079
else. but oh wait he had this really traumatic

00:33:52.079 --> 00:33:54.819
experience where he tried to go beyond the reef

00:33:54.819 --> 00:33:59.420
and his friend died like oh okay now with a little

00:33:59.420 --> 00:34:02.200
curiosity now we understand he's got some barriers

00:34:02.200 --> 00:34:04.799
to this because of this trauma that he's experienced

00:34:04.799 --> 00:34:07.059
in his past well and that is where most judgment

00:34:07.059 --> 00:34:09.900
comes from right it's they're projecting so i'm

00:34:09.900 --> 00:34:11.960
afraid to leave my marriage so i'm going to judge

00:34:11.960 --> 00:34:14.679
you for leaving yours and so yeah there's a lot

00:34:14.679 --> 00:34:16.500
of parallels for sure that's really insightful

00:34:16.500 --> 00:34:18.679
uh i hadn't even thought about it that way yeah

00:34:18.679 --> 00:34:22.269
i like that So then she still obviously does,

00:34:22.510 --> 00:34:26.849
but still not without her doubters, right? And

00:34:26.849 --> 00:34:30.190
even though this might be a little bit out of

00:34:30.190 --> 00:34:34.349
place of the story, I think the arc of what her

00:34:34.349 --> 00:34:36.250
experience was, it speaks to it. I want to give

00:34:36.250 --> 00:34:37.809
you a quote from the movie and get your take

00:34:37.809 --> 00:34:41.190
on it. So it's the point where they first try,

00:34:41.349 --> 00:34:45.079
her and Maui, first try to take down Te Ka. right

00:34:45.079 --> 00:34:47.579
they don't know who takai is initially but um

00:34:47.579 --> 00:34:51.760
and maui's hook is on the fritz right like one

00:34:51.760 --> 00:34:56.000
more strike and it's gonna be gonzo and then

00:34:56.000 --> 00:34:57.880
maui says to her we're here because the ocean

00:34:57.880 --> 00:35:00.599
told you you're special and you believed it uh

00:35:00.599 --> 00:35:02.460
and after a little more exchange she says the

00:35:02.460 --> 00:35:08.000
ocean chose me and he says it shows wrong and

00:35:08.000 --> 00:35:12.070
what i don't know why that one's emotional for

00:35:12.070 --> 00:35:13.809
me that was supposed to be later here i don't

00:35:13.809 --> 00:35:16.929
know why that one is but but it is um and then

00:35:16.929 --> 00:35:19.670
you know her grandma comes right and her grandma

00:35:19.670 --> 00:35:22.329
helps her to remember like who she actually was

00:35:22.329 --> 00:35:25.489
what give me your kind of take on that i'm gonna

00:35:25.489 --> 00:35:27.210
just throw it out there and let's see where you

00:35:27.210 --> 00:35:33.130
take that yeah i think um i am i was i didn't

00:35:33.130 --> 00:35:35.429
have a support system my first marriage my first

00:35:35.429 --> 00:35:38.530
divorce um i had a few people that were in my

00:35:38.530 --> 00:35:42.690
corner but i lost so many people in my life and

00:35:42.690 --> 00:35:45.210
maybe it was first season and still a lot of

00:35:45.210 --> 00:35:47.469
them it was permanent they came and they left

00:35:47.469 --> 00:35:51.469
um i had a lot of leaders that didn't support

00:35:51.469 --> 00:35:54.909
me it was it was it was really really hard um

00:35:54.909 --> 00:35:57.590
and a lot of people basically saying like you

00:35:57.590 --> 00:36:00.110
will never get better than your ex -husband like

00:36:00.110 --> 00:36:02.230
what are you thinking like you will never find

00:36:02.230 --> 00:36:04.110
someone that's this way you'll never find anyone

00:36:04.110 --> 00:36:07.929
like that but what i took from that which i shouldn't

00:36:07.929 --> 00:36:09.530
have but i did was that they're basically saying

00:36:09.530 --> 00:36:11.590
like you're not good enough to find someone better

00:36:11.590 --> 00:36:15.610
than him and again he's an amazing person amazing

00:36:15.610 --> 00:36:18.230
man um and i was very blessed to have children

00:36:18.230 --> 00:36:21.090
with him but there was something that sparked

00:36:21.090 --> 00:36:24.949
inside of me and it was just kind of this i am

00:36:24.949 --> 00:36:28.809
so much more capable than people know and it

00:36:28.809 --> 00:36:30.690
was almost a challenge to myself that like i

00:36:30.690 --> 00:36:34.010
can do more than what i'm doing and so when i

00:36:34.589 --> 00:36:36.889
Sat down with Sandy Hendry, the owner of Minky

00:36:36.889 --> 00:36:39.650
Couture, and realized that I needed a job and

00:36:39.650 --> 00:36:42.409
kind of pitched myself to her in a very vulnerable

00:36:42.409 --> 00:36:46.929
moment, but very, you know, real in the sense

00:36:46.929 --> 00:36:49.449
that I needed a job. But I kind of rolled the

00:36:49.449 --> 00:36:51.050
dice on myself in that moment. And I was like,

00:36:51.090 --> 00:36:53.690
look, you can do this. I committed to things

00:36:53.690 --> 00:36:55.750
I had no idea what I was doing. But I just said,

00:36:55.789 --> 00:36:57.530
you know what, I'm going to be able to try and

00:36:57.530 --> 00:37:01.579
do my best. And so. I think that there was a

00:37:01.579 --> 00:37:04.340
lot of scary things that I had to just leap towards,

00:37:04.579 --> 00:37:06.199
but I was so bound and determined to prove to

00:37:06.199 --> 00:37:10.480
myself that I was capable and I could accomplish

00:37:10.480 --> 00:37:12.940
the things that I needed to. And so, yeah, a

00:37:12.940 --> 00:37:15.780
lot of naysayers, a lot of people, you know,

00:37:15.800 --> 00:37:18.679
I think they're realizing now like, oh, okay,

00:37:18.760 --> 00:37:20.559
I get what she's saying. You know, I've come

00:37:20.559 --> 00:37:23.000
a long way in four years, definitely accomplished

00:37:23.000 --> 00:37:25.860
a lot. And I think there's a lot of people that

00:37:25.860 --> 00:37:29.519
are realizing that. maybe this was for the best

00:37:29.519 --> 00:37:34.280
you know yeah so before we jump back in can i

00:37:34.280 --> 00:37:36.860
ask you a quick favor if you're enjoying the

00:37:36.860 --> 00:37:40.320
journey so far will you like rate and subscribe

00:37:40.320 --> 00:37:43.260
to our show it helps us reach more people like

00:37:43.260 --> 00:37:46.699
you we can design and create and build the most

00:37:46.699 --> 00:37:49.559
wonderful place in the world but it takes people

00:37:49.559 --> 00:37:53.860
to make the dream a reality okay so i want to

00:37:53.860 --> 00:37:55.840
i want to dial into this experience you had with

00:37:55.840 --> 00:37:59.260
sandy yeah Like, walk me through kind of what

00:37:59.260 --> 00:38:02.219
your emotions are in that time, knowing what

00:38:02.219 --> 00:38:04.159
you need to do, and then walk me through some

00:38:04.159 --> 00:38:05.139
more of the deal. Because it was a neighbor,

00:38:05.219 --> 00:38:06.699
right? Yeah. It was like a neighbor and Sandy's

00:38:06.699 --> 00:38:08.539
daughter. Yes. So walk me through kind of like,

00:38:08.579 --> 00:38:10.800
how do you get yourself to do that? Okay. So

00:38:10.800 --> 00:38:13.159
first of all, maybe my theater background helped

00:38:13.159 --> 00:38:15.659
in my guts or something. Because I just, in theater,

00:38:15.739 --> 00:38:18.079
you have to be, with improvisation and stuff,

00:38:18.159 --> 00:38:19.980
you kind of have to just roll with it and kind

00:38:19.980 --> 00:38:22.800
of make things up as you go. But I'm friends

00:38:22.800 --> 00:38:24.300
with Jacqueline, her daughter, and she lives

00:38:24.300 --> 00:38:25.559
across the street from me, and our birthday is

00:38:25.559 --> 00:38:28.300
the same day. And so she said, hey, like, and

00:38:28.300 --> 00:38:30.340
I've told this story so many times, but honestly,

00:38:30.579 --> 00:38:35.699
it was such a pivotal point in my life. She said,

00:38:35.780 --> 00:38:38.159
my mom's going to take me to dinner. I want you

00:38:38.159 --> 00:38:40.420
to come with me. And I'm thinking, the owner

00:38:40.420 --> 00:38:43.179
of Minky? Okay. And so I'm like, all right, fine.

00:38:43.280 --> 00:38:45.139
So we go to the Foundry Grill up in Sundance,

00:38:45.300 --> 00:38:48.360
and I just remember being, like, in awe when

00:38:48.360 --> 00:38:51.699
I first met her. She's gorgeous. So bougie and

00:38:51.699 --> 00:38:54.579
put together. And I'm just like, and for reference,

00:38:54.860 --> 00:38:57.119
my birthday is June 6th. My husband had left

00:38:57.119 --> 00:39:00.179
the house June 1st. So I'm still very much in

00:39:00.179 --> 00:39:02.340
this. I'm probably running on adrenaline, but

00:39:02.340 --> 00:39:06.019
also fear and anxiety because I'm thinking what

00:39:06.019 --> 00:39:08.800
I don't. I didn't say I wanted to divorce and

00:39:08.800 --> 00:39:10.739
have this plan laid out for me. Right. I didn't

00:39:10.739 --> 00:39:12.679
say I'm going to go here to work. I'm going to

00:39:12.679 --> 00:39:15.360
have this financially available. And no, nothing

00:39:15.360 --> 00:39:18.860
was there. So I'm getting ready for the night.

00:39:19.400 --> 00:39:21.539
And we go up there, and I'm a little bit nervous,

00:39:21.579 --> 00:39:24.239
but it's not really until I sit across the table

00:39:24.239 --> 00:39:26.340
from her that I realize, oh, I'm going to shoot

00:39:26.340 --> 00:39:29.460
my shot. I'm doing this. So I just start talking

00:39:29.460 --> 00:39:33.079
about my degree, my experience 10 years ago,

00:39:33.219 --> 00:39:38.179
and how I love her company. I'm in awe of her

00:39:38.179 --> 00:39:42.159
philanthropic arm and how I can market for her.

00:39:44.190 --> 00:39:46.489
I just remember thinking, I'm looking at the

00:39:46.489 --> 00:39:48.690
table and I'm sure Jacqueline was just mortified.

00:39:48.789 --> 00:39:50.190
We had a couple other friends at the table and

00:39:50.190 --> 00:39:52.789
I'm just thinking they're probably like, good

00:39:52.789 --> 00:39:54.730
gosh, this was supposed to be just like a fun

00:39:54.730 --> 00:39:57.369
dinner and here you are pitching yourself. And

00:39:57.369 --> 00:40:00.690
she looks at me and she goes, you know, we actually

00:40:00.690 --> 00:40:03.639
need someone in Utah County. And I'm like. what

00:40:03.639 --> 00:40:06.260
are the odds? Like, seriously? And she goes,

00:40:06.380 --> 00:40:08.420
yeah, she's like, get a resume together and we'll

00:40:08.420 --> 00:40:10.260
get you interviewed with our COO. And I was like,

00:40:10.340 --> 00:40:12.159
yeah, totally. I'll totally get my resume together.

00:40:12.820 --> 00:40:15.360
And so I like call my brother trying to figure

00:40:15.360 --> 00:40:18.579
out how to get this resume to look good. Anyway,

00:40:18.639 --> 00:40:22.219
so then I interviewed and July 5th was my in

00:40:22.219 --> 00:40:26.260
2022 was my first day at Minky Couture and started

00:40:26.260 --> 00:40:29.139
out just very much in the marketing realm. But

00:40:29.139 --> 00:40:30.980
the marketing department didn't exist with Minky

00:40:30.980 --> 00:40:32.599
at that time. Even four years ago, it was just

00:40:32.599 --> 00:40:38.059
Sandy and our COO. And so. We now have a team

00:40:38.059 --> 00:40:40.940
of seven, and we are growing extremely rapidly.

00:40:41.079 --> 00:40:44.360
We're on the brink of exploding. We're hitting

00:40:44.360 --> 00:40:46.440
places and demographics we haven't hit before,

00:40:46.539 --> 00:40:50.000
and it's been amazing. And not because of my

00:40:50.000 --> 00:40:52.500
doing, but I do feel like I've contributed, which

00:40:52.500 --> 00:40:55.059
makes me feel really cool, too, because, I mean,

00:40:55.119 --> 00:40:57.460
holy cow, the fact that I was capable of moving

00:40:57.460 --> 00:40:59.760
the needle even a little bit with such an amazing

00:40:59.760 --> 00:41:04.840
company is insane. So you shoot your shot. I

00:41:04.840 --> 00:41:06.780
shoot my shot. You end up getting hired. I get

00:41:06.780 --> 00:41:11.460
hired. But even then, where do you dig down to

00:41:11.460 --> 00:41:15.559
to find the ability to be successful in that

00:41:15.559 --> 00:41:17.360
position? Because it wasn't something that you

00:41:17.360 --> 00:41:19.019
had done before. Yes, you worked at Frank and

00:41:19.019 --> 00:41:21.869
Cubby. but very different than what you're doing

00:41:21.869 --> 00:41:24.289
at Minky. So, because I think a lot of people

00:41:24.289 --> 00:41:26.389
have this fear of like, okay, yeah, let's say

00:41:26.389 --> 00:41:28.449
I shoot my shot and it says, yes, well then how

00:41:28.449 --> 00:41:30.489
in the world do I figure out what to do to be

00:41:30.489 --> 00:41:33.090
successful? So where did you dig down to find

00:41:33.090 --> 00:41:36.690
that ability? So I think this is where Jack kind

00:41:36.690 --> 00:41:38.969
of plays a role in my life because I realized,

00:41:39.230 --> 00:41:41.469
okay, yeah, I don't know much about, my business

00:41:41.469 --> 00:41:44.809
acumen was here. I don't really know what's going

00:41:44.809 --> 00:41:46.590
on in the world. I'm coming from being a stay

00:41:46.590 --> 00:41:47.869
-at -home mom for 10 years. You know how you

00:41:47.869 --> 00:41:49.409
ask a lot of stay -at -home moms. Like, oh, did

00:41:49.409 --> 00:41:51.210
you hear about this? Like, wait, what? Like,

00:41:51.269 --> 00:41:52.809
I didn't know that was a thing. Like, I don't

00:41:52.809 --> 00:41:54.769
know what's going on right now. So I'm thinking,

00:41:54.809 --> 00:41:57.349
what can I offer these people? My first couple

00:41:57.349 --> 00:42:00.329
events were I wanted to actively join the Chambers

00:42:00.329 --> 00:42:02.530
of Commerce. So I initially joined 14 chambers

00:42:02.530 --> 00:42:04.650
when I first came to Minky because I was trying

00:42:04.650 --> 00:42:06.110
to figure out which one was going to work for

00:42:06.110 --> 00:42:08.489
me, which one wasn't for the company. But now

00:42:08.489 --> 00:42:10.550
you're putting me in a room full of people, don't

00:42:10.550 --> 00:42:12.309
know any of these people, and I'm supposed to

00:42:12.309 --> 00:42:14.230
just start talking about Minky, a company I just

00:42:14.230 --> 00:42:19.170
joined? So I bring up Jack because... I thought,

00:42:19.230 --> 00:42:22.949
well, what's a better way to get to know someone

00:42:22.949 --> 00:42:24.730
than to get to know them on a personal level

00:42:24.730 --> 00:42:27.309
first? So relationships first, then business

00:42:27.309 --> 00:42:29.210
second. And I kind of just adopted that mentality.

00:42:30.510 --> 00:42:32.829
It was wonderful. I was able to be real with

00:42:32.829 --> 00:42:34.590
people. How long have you been with Minky? I

00:42:34.590 --> 00:42:36.429
just started. Oh, really? That's so cool. Where

00:42:36.429 --> 00:42:38.630
were you before? Raising children. Like, you

00:42:38.630 --> 00:42:40.510
know, and just kind of having those organic conversations.

00:42:41.070 --> 00:42:42.969
But it was so great because people leaned into

00:42:42.969 --> 00:42:44.909
it. Really? I just joined this company too. I've

00:42:44.909 --> 00:42:46.750
only been here six months. Or, oh my gosh, I

00:42:46.750 --> 00:42:48.949
just, my brother just got divorced. Are you okay?

00:42:49.150 --> 00:42:51.369
How's it going? And so then all of a sudden this

00:42:51.369 --> 00:42:53.750
business started to come after. And then the

00:42:53.750 --> 00:42:56.889
trust started to build. See, when you have organic,

00:42:57.070 --> 00:42:59.449
genuine connections with people, the trust level

00:42:59.449 --> 00:43:02.309
goes up. And so when trust goes up, then it's

00:43:02.309 --> 00:43:04.030
like, OK, I really can do business with this

00:43:04.030 --> 00:43:06.070
person. This is actually going to work out well

00:43:06.070 --> 00:43:08.570
for me. So I kind of just have adopted that.

00:43:08.690 --> 00:43:11.829
And it's been amazing. And I will say I've done

00:43:11.829 --> 00:43:13.610
a lot of homework on my end and listened to a

00:43:13.610 --> 00:43:16.869
lot of podcasts. I've read books. I've dived

00:43:16.869 --> 00:43:19.949
so deep into Minky that I could probably just

00:43:19.949 --> 00:43:22.630
talk about it for days because I know so much

00:43:22.630 --> 00:43:25.650
more about the company now. So it was definitely

00:43:25.650 --> 00:43:28.309
a lot of work. But I do feel like I leaned on

00:43:28.309 --> 00:43:31.409
my skills to just kind of get to know people

00:43:31.409 --> 00:43:35.690
on a personal level. I wrote down a quote, which

00:43:35.690 --> 00:43:37.449
I think fits so well with what you just said,

00:43:37.489 --> 00:43:39.789
and it's by Stephen M. R. Covey. Love him. We

00:43:39.789 --> 00:43:42.230
talked about, right? And he says, the process

00:43:42.230 --> 00:43:44.309
of building trust is an interesting one, but

00:43:44.309 --> 00:43:46.769
it begins with yourself, with what I call self

00:43:46.769 --> 00:43:49.030
-trust, and with your own credibility, your own

00:43:49.030 --> 00:43:51.489
trustworthiness. If you think about it, it's

00:43:51.489 --> 00:43:53.769
hard to establish trust with others. if you can't

00:43:53.769 --> 00:43:56.989
trust yourself so you had to find that ability

00:43:56.989 --> 00:43:58.929
in that way to trust yourself trust yourself

00:43:58.929 --> 00:44:00.889
to shoot your shot with sandy trust yourself

00:44:00.889 --> 00:44:03.909
to go join 14 different chambers of commerce

00:44:03.909 --> 00:44:06.610
trust yourself to put yourself out there when

00:44:06.610 --> 00:44:09.449
you didn't have the experience or the knowledge

00:44:09.449 --> 00:44:13.050
of the company and yet you did anyways and then

00:44:13.050 --> 00:44:16.690
um mel robbins who we also both enjoy she said

00:44:16.690 --> 00:44:19.489
start before you're ready don't prepare begin

00:44:19.489 --> 00:44:23.119
100 what would you tell to maybe women especially,

00:44:23.280 --> 00:44:26.320
who are in the process of going through divorce,

00:44:26.360 --> 00:44:28.960
who just got divorced and are facing that financial

00:44:28.960 --> 00:44:32.619
insecurity. Like, how do I do that? Yeah. And,

00:44:32.719 --> 00:44:34.780
you know, it's hard because there are some situations

00:44:34.780 --> 00:44:37.780
that finances are just going to be not great.

00:44:37.860 --> 00:44:39.559
And you just kind of have to go through that

00:44:39.559 --> 00:44:43.000
season. But I will say, like, you are more capable

00:44:43.000 --> 00:44:47.340
than you know. I think most women, especially

00:44:47.340 --> 00:44:51.340
if you're a mom. Sandy intentionally hires moms

00:44:51.340 --> 00:44:53.940
because she says you have so many skills that

00:44:53.940 --> 00:44:57.199
a lot of men and women who don't have children

00:44:57.199 --> 00:45:00.599
don't have. You know, there's there's the multitasking,

00:45:00.599 --> 00:45:03.280
organizational skills, the being able to show

00:45:03.280 --> 00:45:05.780
up when you're not in the mood and you want to

00:45:05.780 --> 00:45:07.420
cry because you're so tired, but you're going

00:45:07.420 --> 00:45:10.300
to show up and put that smile on and not faking

00:45:10.300 --> 00:45:12.920
it, but just being in the moment. Right. And

00:45:12.920 --> 00:45:17.199
so, yeah, I'd say that there's your definitely

00:45:17.199 --> 00:45:19.699
what Mel Robbins said. show up even when you

00:45:19.699 --> 00:45:22.000
aren't prepared. I mean, just, you got to just

00:45:22.000 --> 00:45:26.059
move forward because I, you know, no one wants

00:45:26.059 --> 00:45:29.320
to fail. And I failed several times in my career

00:45:29.320 --> 00:45:32.800
and in my life, but every time you fail, you

00:45:32.800 --> 00:45:34.199
learn how to get back up. And when you learn

00:45:34.199 --> 00:45:35.820
how to get back up, you get stronger and stronger

00:45:35.820 --> 00:45:39.280
and stronger. So now my skin is so tough. I'm

00:45:39.280 --> 00:45:42.099
like, and I say that in a way of like emotionally

00:45:42.099 --> 00:45:44.920
tough. Like I have, I have been beaten down.

00:45:45.550 --> 00:45:47.570
whether it was with work or whether it was in

00:45:47.570 --> 00:45:51.929
my personal life. And I have just kept moving

00:45:51.929 --> 00:45:53.730
forward. And one thing Sandy actually has said

00:45:53.730 --> 00:45:55.909
about me, which is kind of cool, is she said,

00:45:55.929 --> 00:45:58.969
you take constructive criticism very well. She's

00:45:58.969 --> 00:46:00.389
like, you don't get your feelings. I mean, if

00:46:00.389 --> 00:46:02.989
you cry, you do it later. But like, but I, and

00:46:02.989 --> 00:46:04.809
I do because the reality is, is I want to grow

00:46:04.809 --> 00:46:06.809
and be better. So tell me what I'm doing wrong.

00:46:06.869 --> 00:46:09.309
Tell me what I can fix. And that's a hard thing

00:46:09.309 --> 00:46:11.170
to do. You know, a lot of people don't love that,

00:46:11.210 --> 00:46:13.869
but I've just, I love it because I get better.

00:46:14.199 --> 00:46:16.639
And I can show up better for my kids, for my

00:46:16.639 --> 00:46:20.400
team, for Sandy, and for myself. Because that

00:46:20.400 --> 00:46:22.079
always makes you feel good when you do something

00:46:22.079 --> 00:46:26.019
that is making an impact, right? For sure. And

00:46:26.019 --> 00:46:29.039
so, you know, your story here, obviously, that's

00:46:29.039 --> 00:46:30.739
why we're talking about Moana, has some parallels,

00:46:30.880 --> 00:46:33.760
right? To what she was able to accomplish with

00:46:33.760 --> 00:46:36.940
somebody who didn't even know how to sail, right?

00:46:37.019 --> 00:46:39.460
Like, her story is kind of wild, right? She's

00:46:39.460 --> 00:46:40.539
going to go out. She's going to go out in the

00:46:40.539 --> 00:46:43.570
sea. She's going to go try to save. save her

00:46:43.570 --> 00:46:47.190
island, save the ocean, and has no idea how to

00:46:47.190 --> 00:46:50.170
sail a boat. And she does it. She does it anyway.

00:46:50.309 --> 00:46:52.130
She gets out there. She just puts herself out

00:46:52.130 --> 00:46:54.789
there sailing. She puts herself out there going

00:46:54.789 --> 00:46:58.010
into the realm of monsters, right, with Tomotoa.

00:46:58.210 --> 00:47:00.349
And she's like, I'm just going to do this. Like,

00:47:00.349 --> 00:47:01.610
we've got to get this hook back. I'm going to

00:47:01.610 --> 00:47:04.630
make it happen. And then kind of the culmination

00:47:04.630 --> 00:47:08.170
of the story when she realizes, when she's got

00:47:08.170 --> 00:47:10.389
the heart of the ocean, and she realizes that

00:47:10.389 --> 00:47:14.989
Te Ka is actually Te Fiti. Right. And so one

00:47:14.989 --> 00:47:16.050
of the things I think is really special about

00:47:16.050 --> 00:47:17.809
that moment is she's obviously stepping into

00:47:17.809 --> 00:47:20.409
her own and becoming who she really is. But she's

00:47:20.409 --> 00:47:22.769
also helping somebody else do the same. And so

00:47:22.769 --> 00:47:25.349
for you, have you had moments where as you're

00:47:25.349 --> 00:47:27.309
going through struggles and realizing how strong

00:47:27.309 --> 00:47:29.829
you really are, that you've inspired other people?

00:47:30.730 --> 00:47:34.670
Yeah. I mean, I mean, I hope I'm right, but.

00:47:34.909 --> 00:47:36.750
Well, I'm sure you are. That's why I sound like

00:47:36.750 --> 00:47:40.010
I guarantee it. Yeah. I mean, I think that there's

00:47:40.010 --> 00:47:43.860
a level of. understanding I've been able to provide

00:47:43.860 --> 00:47:45.480
for a lot of people and a lot of validation.

00:47:46.099 --> 00:47:50.440
I think that, you know, especially in Utah, losing

00:47:50.440 --> 00:47:53.400
a child, we do have a lot of children here in

00:47:53.400 --> 00:47:55.440
Utah. So losing a child, I didn't realize how

00:47:55.440 --> 00:47:59.239
frequent that does happen with people. But then

00:47:59.239 --> 00:48:02.719
you add two divorces on top of that. I'm definitely

00:48:02.719 --> 00:48:06.360
unique here in Utah. I know that there's not

00:48:06.360 --> 00:48:07.260
other people out there that have gone through

00:48:07.260 --> 00:48:11.440
the same things, but there is a lot that I I

00:48:11.440 --> 00:48:13.820
think I'm willing to talk about that a lot of

00:48:13.820 --> 00:48:15.980
people don't talk about. And so when I do talk

00:48:15.980 --> 00:48:19.179
about it, I think there's a lot of people that

00:48:19.179 --> 00:48:22.860
are, they feel that they're not alone. And I

00:48:22.860 --> 00:48:24.579
do feel like I've provided comfort for several

00:48:24.579 --> 00:48:27.860
people, which is great. Because I think you look

00:48:27.860 --> 00:48:29.099
back and you're like, why did I have to go through

00:48:29.099 --> 00:48:31.579
that? You know, why? Like, wouldn't it be great?

00:48:31.619 --> 00:48:34.780
And I think there's a, I might shift a little

00:48:34.780 --> 00:48:36.139
bit here. I told you I'm bad about tangents,

00:48:36.139 --> 00:48:39.019
but there's... I love that I feel empowered.

00:48:39.099 --> 00:48:41.820
I love that I'm making a difference in the community

00:48:41.820 --> 00:48:46.199
and with Minky and exposing my kids to cool experiences

00:48:46.199 --> 00:48:48.460
that they wouldn't have unless I was working.

00:48:49.940 --> 00:48:52.679
But then there's a small part of me that's resentful.

00:48:52.800 --> 00:48:57.300
Sure. That it would be nice to have a husband

00:48:57.300 --> 00:49:00.179
and it would be nice to be taken care of and

00:49:00.179 --> 00:49:03.239
have the option of working but not the obligation

00:49:03.239 --> 00:49:06.960
of working. i don't know if i want to have that

00:49:06.960 --> 00:49:09.079
in her where she wanted that she seems a little

00:49:09.079 --> 00:49:11.920
too i am woman hear me roar but i and i relate

00:49:11.920 --> 00:49:15.300
to her on that on that level to a point um but

00:49:15.300 --> 00:49:18.079
there's a lot of there's a lot of nights that

00:49:18.079 --> 00:49:21.460
i cry there's a lot of i mean even still i mean

00:49:21.460 --> 00:49:25.639
it's it's hard still you know and so i i i love

00:49:25.639 --> 00:49:28.079
that i'm strong but i'm resentful sometimes with

00:49:28.079 --> 00:49:30.960
how strong i am and i it would be nice to be

00:49:30.960 --> 00:49:36.340
weak sometimes and not have to um Be the head

00:49:36.340 --> 00:49:39.500
of the household all the time, you know one,

00:49:39.619 --> 00:49:42.739
you know, I think Like many things we we can

00:49:42.739 --> 00:49:45.780
coexist with different emotions simultaneously.

00:49:46.019 --> 00:49:50.960
Absolutely and You know, it's it's perfectly

00:49:50.960 --> 00:49:53.159
appropriate for you to feel that way, you know,

00:49:53.239 --> 00:50:00.059
like it just we We have to feel those emotions

00:50:00.059 --> 00:50:02.480
we shouldn't you know, push them down we gotta

00:50:02.480 --> 00:50:04.679
accept it like okay. Yeah, I I can feel a little

00:50:04.679 --> 00:50:06.579
resentful about that. It'd be really nice if

00:50:06.579 --> 00:50:09.800
this is the case. Yeah. And I'm going to step

00:50:09.800 --> 00:50:12.480
into my power. And I'm going to take care of

00:50:12.480 --> 00:50:15.039
these kids and make the best life for them possible.

00:50:15.679 --> 00:50:19.059
And I'm going to choose to co -parent with their

00:50:19.059 --> 00:50:22.280
dad the best way that I know how because I want

00:50:22.280 --> 00:50:25.639
to create a great life for them. And, you know,

00:50:25.739 --> 00:50:28.579
I think the process of becoming is never over.

00:50:29.199 --> 00:50:31.039
Right. And I think that's part of it, right?

00:50:31.159 --> 00:50:33.239
Like you're going to have these different emotions

00:50:33.239 --> 00:50:35.619
pulling us in different ways. Like this thing

00:50:35.619 --> 00:50:37.519
would be nice or this thing would be nice. And

00:50:37.519 --> 00:50:41.159
maybe one day certain things will be different

00:50:41.159 --> 00:50:43.460
and we simply accept where we're at and move

00:50:43.460 --> 00:50:47.219
forward, right? Do you know the movie Meet the

00:50:47.219 --> 00:50:50.670
Robinsons? Yeah. So the whole crux of that movie

00:50:50.670 --> 00:50:52.349
is based on a quote from Walt Disney, which is

00:50:52.349 --> 00:50:53.829
keep moving forward. I've actually heard you

00:50:53.829 --> 00:50:55.130
say it a couple of times today, which is why

00:50:55.130 --> 00:50:57.469
I kept coming back to my mind when you said that.

00:50:57.469 --> 00:51:00.369
And I think that's it, right? We can have these

00:51:00.369 --> 00:51:02.170
failures or these things that aren't necessarily

00:51:02.170 --> 00:51:04.050
failures, but like, well, that would be really

00:51:04.050 --> 00:51:07.010
nice if it was that way. Right. And I'm going

00:51:07.010 --> 00:51:10.079
to... keep moving forward? I think there's, yeah.

00:51:10.199 --> 00:51:12.199
I mean, I think especially for my situation,

00:51:12.460 --> 00:51:15.119
there are things that, that happened to me and

00:51:15.119 --> 00:51:16.920
then there's things that I chose and they were

00:51:16.920 --> 00:51:20.019
both hard things that I've gone through those

00:51:20.019 --> 00:51:22.260
specific ones. There's lots in between, but,

00:51:22.280 --> 00:51:25.760
but because of that, you kind of have to just

00:51:25.760 --> 00:51:29.260
learn to, to live with the cards you were dealt

00:51:29.260 --> 00:51:31.579
with. Right. And, and make the best of it. And

00:51:31.579 --> 00:51:34.239
so I have this quote above my vanity and it says,

00:51:34.300 --> 00:51:39.219
she designed a life she loved. And I look at

00:51:39.219 --> 00:51:42.980
that every morning. And I am in that season of

00:51:42.980 --> 00:51:46.480
becoming. I'm in that season of loving the life

00:51:46.480 --> 00:51:49.719
that I have designed. And, you know, there's

00:51:49.719 --> 00:51:51.280
people that will say that's for selfish reasons

00:51:51.280 --> 00:51:55.239
or whatever. But I am not joking when I say I

00:51:55.239 --> 00:51:57.960
have never been closer to my kids. The relationship

00:51:57.960 --> 00:52:01.400
I have with them right now, I don't even know.

00:52:01.900 --> 00:52:03.739
I didn't even know it existed that we could be

00:52:03.739 --> 00:52:06.820
as close as we are. And I thought I was doing

00:52:06.820 --> 00:52:09.039
a good job before. And I didn't even realize.

00:52:09.500 --> 00:52:12.139
So my kids, I look at them and I look at how

00:52:12.139 --> 00:52:14.480
happy they are and how close we are. And I've

00:52:14.480 --> 00:52:17.199
got to be doing something right. So I think a

00:52:17.199 --> 00:52:20.019
lot of people could look at my life and think

00:52:20.019 --> 00:52:21.860
all the good things are happening and it's all

00:52:21.860 --> 00:52:23.960
sunshine and rainbows. And that's true to an

00:52:23.960 --> 00:52:26.159
extent. But there are definitely hard times.

00:52:26.239 --> 00:52:30.389
But I've designed it that way. How do you give

00:52:30.389 --> 00:52:33.570
yourself the space to have those moments where

00:52:33.570 --> 00:52:36.789
you do need to go home and cry? Well, I have

00:52:36.789 --> 00:52:40.110
my kids every other week. So we've got a one

00:52:40.110 --> 00:52:45.590
week on, one week off situation. But I'm a strong

00:52:45.590 --> 00:52:47.150
believer in bedtimes, whether it's summertime

00:52:47.150 --> 00:52:48.670
or not. And there's people that will disagree,

00:52:48.829 --> 00:52:51.710
but I believe in bedtimes. My kids are 6, 9,

00:52:51.750 --> 00:52:56.309
and 12. And I do that on purpose because that

00:52:56.309 --> 00:52:57.849
is the only time when I can close that door at

00:52:57.849 --> 00:53:02.550
night. I can finally, like, just let go of everything.

00:53:02.670 --> 00:53:05.650
Whether it's frustration or sadness or whatever

00:53:05.650 --> 00:53:09.269
I'm feeling that day. But I remember Miles walked

00:53:09.269 --> 00:53:11.949
in on me the other day when I was crying. And

00:53:11.949 --> 00:53:16.150
I just, I said, I'm having a moment. And you

00:53:16.150 --> 00:53:19.030
just have to let them know that this is hard,

00:53:19.090 --> 00:53:22.070
you know. And this is, I'm going through this

00:53:22.070 --> 00:53:24.800
for the first time. And I just. you know i'm

00:53:24.800 --> 00:53:27.780
okay i just need needed a minute and and you

00:53:27.780 --> 00:53:30.000
know i think there's it's okay to let them in

00:53:30.000 --> 00:53:33.260
you know on certain aspects like letting them

00:53:33.260 --> 00:53:35.199
know like this this is hard this isn't an easy

00:53:35.199 --> 00:53:39.980
thing you know um and so that watching him watch

00:53:39.980 --> 00:53:43.400
me do service or be emotional or whatever it

00:53:43.400 --> 00:53:46.579
is um i i hope it benefits him in the future

00:53:46.579 --> 00:53:48.659
i don't i don't always want to be that way but

00:53:48.659 --> 00:53:50.659
there are going to be moments that that come

00:53:50.659 --> 00:53:54.019
up and i think that Yes, I'd love to do it privately,

00:53:54.199 --> 00:53:56.699
but if he does see me in those moments or my

00:53:56.699 --> 00:53:59.440
others see me in those moments, I'm going to

00:53:59.440 --> 00:54:02.800
have to just be okay with that. I think one of

00:54:02.800 --> 00:54:05.840
the interesting things that we see when people

00:54:05.840 --> 00:54:07.840
get divorced when it comes to custody stuff,

00:54:08.079 --> 00:54:11.059
if somebody makes the choice to try to create

00:54:11.059 --> 00:54:13.920
the best life possible, they tend to be a lot

00:54:13.920 --> 00:54:17.500
more... present in the time they have with their

00:54:17.500 --> 00:54:20.059
kids than they might have otherwise. I mean,

00:54:20.099 --> 00:54:22.500
we as adults can fall into where we get wrapped

00:54:22.500 --> 00:54:24.340
into our phones, our electronic devices. We've

00:54:24.340 --> 00:54:26.659
got a lot of things going. We're never disconnected.

00:54:27.360 --> 00:54:30.320
And what I've found for me with my boys is it's

00:54:30.320 --> 00:54:32.219
very much that way. The times that I have them,

00:54:32.320 --> 00:54:36.280
I'm pretty locked in. It's this really unique

00:54:36.280 --> 00:54:37.880
experience. It's not unique. I guess a lot of

00:54:37.880 --> 00:54:40.039
people do it. But this last week, I went on young

00:54:40.039 --> 00:54:42.679
men's camp. Oh, yeah. And we were in Green River,

00:54:42.800 --> 00:54:46.230
Utah. None of the young men there could bring

00:54:46.230 --> 00:54:48.230
electronic devices at all. They weren't allowed

00:54:48.230 --> 00:54:51.230
to even bring them. And even though us as leaders

00:54:51.230 --> 00:54:55.230
did, there was zero reception. I mean, none.

00:54:55.389 --> 00:54:58.230
But kind of nice, right? It was actually so nice

00:54:58.230 --> 00:55:02.489
because I just found myself just in every moment

00:55:02.489 --> 00:55:05.090
being present, in every moment finding ways to

00:55:05.090 --> 00:55:07.929
either connect with my boys or the other young

00:55:07.929 --> 00:55:09.489
men that were there or even the other leaders

00:55:09.489 --> 00:55:11.349
that were there in a way that would have been

00:55:11.349 --> 00:55:14.139
so easy to just retreat. for half an hour, an

00:55:14.139 --> 00:55:16.539
hour, and just like look up ESPN and see what

00:55:16.539 --> 00:55:18.139
happened in the World Cup. Because I did want

00:55:18.139 --> 00:55:19.719
to know what was happening in the World Cup.

00:55:20.820 --> 00:55:24.739
But it allowed me to be so present. And I think,

00:55:24.739 --> 00:55:27.539
you know, as we make certain choices in our lives,

00:55:27.719 --> 00:55:30.300
being present with our kids is huge. Finding

00:55:30.300 --> 00:55:32.980
times to like sit down the phone for their benefit

00:55:32.980 --> 00:55:35.639
as well. It always like is soul crushing and

00:55:35.639 --> 00:55:38.579
yet such a great reminder. My two little daughters

00:55:38.579 --> 00:55:41.769
are the best at it. dad why are you on your phone

00:55:41.769 --> 00:55:43.889
or like taking you out on taking their hand like

00:55:43.889 --> 00:55:46.429
waving it in front of my screen i'm like oh this

00:55:46.429 --> 00:55:48.849
is yep this needs to go away because i've clearly

00:55:48.849 --> 00:55:50.929
made them think that in this moment that device

00:55:50.929 --> 00:55:52.650
was more important than them and it's never more

00:55:52.650 --> 00:55:55.489
important right um and so you know i do think

00:55:55.489 --> 00:55:58.159
that divorced parents can really make the choice

00:55:58.159 --> 00:56:00.920
to like use that as a catalyst to be super present.

00:56:01.219 --> 00:56:03.599
Yeah. I very intentional. I'm very intentional

00:56:03.599 --> 00:56:05.179
about the time I have my kids. Cause I only have

00:56:05.179 --> 00:56:06.739
them half the time. So then what happens if I'm

00:56:06.739 --> 00:56:09.119
tuned out half of that time, then it's only 25

00:56:09.119 --> 00:56:11.960
% of the time I get my kids. Right. So I am very

00:56:11.960 --> 00:56:15.099
aware and there are certain things that. work

00:56:15.099 --> 00:56:17.659
things do come up and it is what it is. And I

00:56:17.659 --> 00:56:19.480
try to talk them through that. But I think communication

00:56:19.480 --> 00:56:21.440
is the biggest part. It's explaining to them

00:56:21.440 --> 00:56:23.099
like, okay, look, this is what's gonna happen.

00:56:23.179 --> 00:56:24.800
I just need 20 minutes in my office, but then

00:56:24.800 --> 00:56:26.780
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, you know? So it's

00:56:26.780 --> 00:56:28.699
communicating and not just the, give me a second,

00:56:28.820 --> 00:56:31.039
give me a, hold on, wait, just wait. Cause that's

00:56:31.039 --> 00:56:32.920
communicating something very different to them,

00:56:33.000 --> 00:56:36.000
right? So yeah, I'm very, very intentional. And

00:56:36.000 --> 00:56:38.920
yeah, you do savor those moments a lot more.

00:56:39.900 --> 00:56:43.019
So before we get to our fun segments, what's

00:56:43.019 --> 00:56:47.940
anything about Moana or your story that we should

00:56:47.940 --> 00:56:50.460
have talked about and we didn't? I like the part

00:56:50.460 --> 00:56:53.360
when she's on the boat and she's repeating that

00:56:53.360 --> 00:56:55.940
mantra over and over again. I am Moana of Montanui.

00:56:56.280 --> 00:57:00.440
I will drive this boat. I will do this. I will

00:57:00.440 --> 00:57:02.780
do that. And she's repeating it over and over

00:57:02.780 --> 00:57:07.400
and over again. And I just think... And nothing's

00:57:07.400 --> 00:57:09.159
working, right? She's trying to get the right

00:57:09.159 --> 00:57:11.460
direction and she just keeps veering, but she's

00:57:11.460 --> 00:57:14.019
repeating it over and over again. And I just

00:57:14.019 --> 00:57:16.960
love that part because I am doing that on a...

00:57:17.179 --> 00:57:20.519
daily basis yes i look like i'm a theater minor

00:57:20.519 --> 00:57:22.280
okay of course i look like i know what i'm doing

00:57:22.280 --> 00:57:24.480
i've got it all together right i'm acting right

00:57:24.480 --> 00:57:27.780
no but i i do put on this this perception that

00:57:27.780 --> 00:57:30.599
i have got everything under control and and i

00:57:30.599 --> 00:57:33.179
and i'm but those who know me know that i'm as

00:57:33.179 --> 00:57:35.340
real as they come and i will tell you what is

00:57:35.340 --> 00:57:38.840
really going on but i i do have to remind myself

00:57:38.840 --> 00:57:42.659
daily i can do this i can do this today's hard

00:57:42.659 --> 00:57:44.519
this week's going to be hard it's going to be

00:57:44.519 --> 00:57:50.159
very overwhelming i can do this and so No one

00:57:50.159 --> 00:57:51.880
knows what anyone's going through. No one knows

00:57:51.880 --> 00:57:53.159
what you've been through, but no one knows what

00:57:53.159 --> 00:57:56.039
you're going through. And I just think being

00:57:56.039 --> 00:57:59.639
kind to everyone is so important. And I've learned

00:57:59.639 --> 00:58:03.179
to just always be kind. Always be kind and just

00:58:03.179 --> 00:58:07.420
serve. And I think when I get lost in service

00:58:07.420 --> 00:58:10.239
and when I get lost in being kind to others,

00:58:10.320 --> 00:58:13.480
I'm able to... That mantra comes a lot easier

00:58:13.480 --> 00:58:14.980
for me where I'm like, okay, I can do this. I

00:58:14.980 --> 00:58:17.079
can. I can do this. This makes it easier because

00:58:17.079 --> 00:58:20.099
I'm helping other people. I can do it. I do think

00:58:20.099 --> 00:58:21.480
that's something that's gotten lost a little

00:58:21.480 --> 00:58:28.679
bit in the push for finding yourself and being

00:58:28.679 --> 00:58:33.139
authentic and making sure you've got yourself

00:58:33.139 --> 00:58:35.340
righted and self -help because all those things

00:58:35.340 --> 00:58:39.800
are good. And we also learn so much about ourselves.

00:58:40.409 --> 00:58:42.630
when we serve other people. We also find ourselves

00:58:42.630 --> 00:58:44.769
so much better and can find so much happiness

00:58:44.769 --> 00:58:47.309
when we focus on others and serve other people

00:58:47.309 --> 00:58:50.030
as well. And so I do think it's this interesting

00:58:50.030 --> 00:58:53.750
thing where we can't go so far astray to think

00:58:53.750 --> 00:58:55.849
it's only about ourselves. We have to look outward.

00:58:56.030 --> 00:58:58.150
We have to. You know, one of the things too,

00:58:58.269 --> 00:59:01.250
I'm glad you mentioned the mantra that she says,

00:59:01.309 --> 00:59:04.389
because I do, it also strikes me on how it changed

00:59:04.389 --> 00:59:06.269
throughout the movie, because initially it's,

00:59:06.269 --> 00:59:09.530
you know, I am Moana. um i'm gonna deliver you

00:59:09.530 --> 00:59:12.610
maui across the sea and you are gonna store the

00:59:12.610 --> 00:59:15.409
heart uh restore the heart of tafiti after he

00:59:15.409 --> 00:59:17.630
leaves and she has the experience with her grandma

00:59:17.630 --> 00:59:21.059
and she sings the song then it's i am moana i

00:59:21.059 --> 00:59:23.940
am going to board the boat i am going to go across

00:59:23.940 --> 00:59:26.260
the sea and i am going to restore the heart of

00:59:26.260 --> 00:59:28.739
defeat and she takes that power and says okay

00:59:28.739 --> 00:59:32.199
like in this moment i've got to do this i've

00:59:32.199 --> 00:59:34.519
got to take take on this this challenge this

00:59:34.519 --> 00:59:37.079
opportunity and when you know of course then

00:59:37.079 --> 00:59:39.300
you know maui ends up realizing the error of

00:59:39.300 --> 00:59:42.179
his way and coming back and helping but I do

00:59:42.179 --> 00:59:44.559
think mantras can be really important and really

00:59:44.559 --> 00:59:47.480
healthy for us. Yeah, for sure. And they do take

00:59:47.480 --> 00:59:49.920
on a different meaning, right, as you go on.

00:59:49.940 --> 00:59:50.920
It's like when you read the scriptures, you're

00:59:50.920 --> 00:59:53.119
like, wait, I didn't read that before. That means

00:59:53.119 --> 00:59:55.239
something different now. And I think, yeah, they

00:59:55.239 --> 00:59:57.619
can take on a different meaning and you learn

00:59:57.619 --> 00:59:59.800
from it and you just keep going. Yeah. You know,

00:59:59.820 --> 01:00:01.559
one of the things that, just to circle back to

01:00:01.559 --> 01:00:03.360
a little bit on kindness that you said, that

01:00:03.360 --> 01:00:07.500
I just think ties in so wonderfully with the

01:00:07.500 --> 01:00:10.659
way that you described. Making relationships

01:00:10.659 --> 01:00:13.019
with people which was about being genuine because

01:00:13.019 --> 01:00:16.320
kindness is so much more than niceness niceness

01:00:16.320 --> 01:00:19.619
can tend to lack that that Genuine nature, but

01:00:19.619 --> 01:00:22.400
the kindness has to have it. Yeah, you know if

01:00:22.400 --> 01:00:25.280
you're not genuine It's not kind and you can't

01:00:25.280 --> 01:00:27.719
find a deep love of kindness without being genuine

01:00:27.719 --> 01:00:29.619
out wanting to know a bit more about somebody

01:00:29.619 --> 01:00:32.219
right Caring about who they are and what they're

01:00:32.219 --> 01:00:34.789
experiencing not judging, like we talked about

01:00:34.789 --> 01:00:36.769
earlier, right? Withholding that judgment and

01:00:36.769 --> 01:00:39.230
being curious instead of just judgmental, then

01:00:39.230 --> 01:00:42.329
genuine connection comes so much richer and so

01:00:42.329 --> 01:00:45.070
much more fully when we can actually do that,

01:00:45.110 --> 01:00:48.239
empathize and be. deeply kind with those around

01:00:48.239 --> 01:00:50.780
us. Absolutely. Yeah, I agree. Okay. So you ready

01:00:50.780 --> 01:00:53.079
for some fun segments? Let's do it. Okay. This

01:00:53.079 --> 01:00:55.739
or that is our first segment. Okay. So it's just

01:00:55.739 --> 01:00:57.579
whichever one you think out of these two. And

01:00:57.579 --> 01:01:00.400
if it's a controversial opinion, we'll have to

01:01:00.400 --> 01:01:02.639
call you out on it. Okay. So I doubt anything

01:01:02.639 --> 01:01:04.780
I say will be incorrect. So go ahead and ask

01:01:04.780 --> 01:01:08.239
me anything. Love it. Okay. Ocean or mountains?

01:01:08.820 --> 01:01:11.260
Oh, ocean. A hundred percent. Okay. It's a good

01:01:11.260 --> 01:01:14.760
one. It's a good one. Of course it has to be.

01:01:15.599 --> 01:01:18.760
Canoe or sailboat? Sailboat. Bring me the wind,

01:01:18.820 --> 01:01:21.860
baby. Okay. Have you actually ever ridden a sailboat?

01:01:21.920 --> 01:01:24.420
No, but we had a boat growing up. So not a sailboat,

01:01:24.480 --> 01:01:26.280
but we had a boat. And there's nothing better

01:01:26.280 --> 01:01:28.400
than being out on the water. I think it's so

01:01:28.400 --> 01:01:31.679
fun. I love it. And the canoes are just too much

01:01:31.679 --> 01:01:33.420
work. Canoes are actually kind of hard. Well,

01:01:33.420 --> 01:01:36.699
yeah. Have you done the canoes at Disneyland?

01:01:38.059 --> 01:01:40.719
Oh, out to the Island. Yeah. Yeah. So you go

01:01:40.719 --> 01:01:42.619
around in the big thing and that's a freaking

01:01:42.619 --> 01:01:44.659
workout. I'm like, I'm already taking 10 ,000

01:01:44.659 --> 01:01:46.300
steps today. Why do I have to work my arms too?

01:01:47.039 --> 01:01:50.780
So no, it actually is. So on this young men's

01:01:50.780 --> 01:01:52.579
camp, we went down the green river twice. Okay.

01:01:52.679 --> 01:01:55.360
And it is a lot of work. And you realize you're

01:01:55.360 --> 01:01:57.400
like, man, like your last and your, your dry

01:01:57.400 --> 01:02:00.639
steps. You're like, wow, that is like, this Moana

01:02:00.639 --> 01:02:02.739
would be like, it's okay. If a man wants to do

01:02:02.739 --> 01:02:05.300
this, I'm okay with that. I'm good. I'll just

01:02:05.300 --> 01:02:08.440
look pretty and make the sandwiches. Island life

01:02:08.440 --> 01:02:11.639
or city life? I don't know. How long do I have

01:02:11.639 --> 01:02:15.940
to be there for? However long you think. Well,

01:02:16.360 --> 01:02:18.579
if we're talking like Hawaii and someone's bringing

01:02:18.579 --> 01:02:21.039
me like... you know, pina coladas and chips and

01:02:21.039 --> 01:02:23.599
salsa all day than that one. But the city, you

01:02:23.599 --> 01:02:24.940
can't, I mean, you've got New York, you've got

01:02:24.940 --> 01:02:28.239
Broadway. Do you love Broadway? I love Broadway.

01:02:28.420 --> 01:02:30.780
Oh my goodness. What do you think? I'm obsessed.

01:02:31.260 --> 01:02:32.539
Yes. Okay. Well, we're going to have to ask a

01:02:32.539 --> 01:02:34.539
question about that in the rapid fire segment.

01:02:34.539 --> 01:02:36.599
Then I'll add one because I know what I want

01:02:36.599 --> 01:02:39.300
to ask there. You know what I do love? I'll take

01:02:39.300 --> 01:02:42.460
a tangent. It's part of why I love Oahu because

01:02:42.460 --> 01:02:45.690
I can get both. Yeah. OK, so see, I've never

01:02:45.690 --> 01:02:47.630
been to Oahu. Honolulu is a little bit that way.

01:02:47.690 --> 01:02:49.590
Yes, Honolulu is. Yes, I've been there. There's

01:02:49.590 --> 01:02:51.929
also like a lot of places in Oahu, too, that

01:02:51.929 --> 01:02:54.210
are really beautiful. Maybe not as beautiful

01:02:54.210 --> 01:02:57.969
as Maui or the other islands. I can't. Kauai,

01:02:57.989 --> 01:03:00.409
right? Kauai, lush, beautiful. But that's why

01:03:00.409 --> 01:03:05.650
I do love Oahu. OK. Pua or Heihei? Ooh, Heihei.

01:03:05.909 --> 01:03:07.949
I'm obsessed with him. Are you kidding me? He's

01:03:07.949 --> 01:03:11.110
the best. He's so great. I love Heihei. Te Fiti

01:03:11.110 --> 01:03:15.340
or Grandma? her grandma specifically her grandma

01:03:15.340 --> 01:03:18.280
i'm obsessed with her too i love her and if she

01:03:18.280 --> 01:03:19.800
was in real life i'd be friends with her yeah

01:03:19.800 --> 01:03:23.320
she like the crazy lady right the crazy crazy

01:03:23.320 --> 01:03:26.500
spirited i'll do what i want like the best oh

01:03:26.500 --> 01:03:28.539
i can relate to her and she totally just helps

01:03:28.539 --> 01:03:31.619
moana just be freed from the shackles uh yeah

01:03:31.619 --> 01:03:36.659
grandma's amazing uh road trip or a flight in

01:03:36.659 --> 01:03:39.860
my first class let's say no you gotta be economy

01:03:39.860 --> 01:03:44.280
economy i mean Honestly, I love me a road trip.

01:03:44.400 --> 01:03:46.840
I love going to the gas station, getting all

01:03:46.840 --> 01:03:49.619
the fun snacks. I love being DJ, listening to

01:03:49.619 --> 01:03:51.639
music. I'm going to say road trip. What's your

01:03:51.639 --> 01:03:54.800
snack of choice on a road trip? Oh, I'm disgusting.

01:03:55.099 --> 01:03:57.119
So no one wants to ride with me. I'll tell you

01:03:57.119 --> 01:03:59.440
that right now. Let's hear it. What is it? Beef

01:03:59.440 --> 01:04:02.500
jerky. Oh, yeah. Peppered teriyaki. Teriyaki

01:04:02.500 --> 01:04:05.659
or pepper. I like both. I like peppered. Funyuns.

01:04:05.659 --> 01:04:08.199
Oh, that's why you said that. I love Funyuns.

01:04:08.199 --> 01:04:09.980
Watch out for some Funyuns. In fact, the guy

01:04:09.980 --> 01:04:12.179
I'm dating right now doesn't know that. But maybe

01:04:12.179 --> 01:04:14.019
I'm not. I don't know why I said that. That's

01:04:14.019 --> 01:04:15.639
weird. Why would I say that right now? Well,

01:04:15.699 --> 01:04:17.719
I mean, he's going to know now, Sierra. I do.

01:04:17.840 --> 01:04:20.440
I love Funyuns and Hot Cheetos. Okay, Hot Cheetos.

01:04:20.619 --> 01:04:24.639
So jerky, Hot Cheetos or Funyuns, and then Diet

01:04:24.639 --> 01:04:28.079
Dr. Pepper. And a take five. Diet Dr. Pepper

01:04:28.079 --> 01:04:31.179
versus Dr. Pepper Zero. Yes. I prefer the taste.

01:04:31.239 --> 01:04:33.500
I know. I'm an anomaly. I mean, I'm a Dr. Pepper

01:04:33.500 --> 01:04:35.980
Zero guy now. I know. I'm a Diet Dr. Pepper.

01:04:36.320 --> 01:04:38.440
Yeah. You're taking the hot Cheetos and like

01:04:38.440 --> 01:04:41.119
crumble them up over mac and cheese. I've eaten

01:04:41.119 --> 01:04:43.900
them with everything. So, yes. My favorite is

01:04:43.900 --> 01:04:46.059
to eat them with like a Beto's bean rice and

01:04:46.059 --> 01:04:48.199
cheese burrito and have hot Cheetos with it.

01:04:49.139 --> 01:04:52.360
Yeah, I'm gross. I mean, you probably don't think

01:04:52.360 --> 01:04:54.099
that about me initially. You're probably like,

01:04:54.099 --> 01:04:56.340
oh, she likes salad, and I'm good. No, all this

01:04:56.340 --> 01:04:59.539
sounds amazing, actually. It's making me hungry.

01:04:59.760 --> 01:05:03.320
This is fantastic. Okay, so my next question

01:05:03.320 --> 01:05:06.300
was going to be for islands in Hawaii, but you

01:05:06.300 --> 01:05:08.000
said you've never been to Oahu. No, I've only

01:05:08.000 --> 01:05:11.860
been to Maui. I've been to Honolulu, but briefly,

01:05:11.940 --> 01:05:13.780
and then I went to the Big Island this last time.

01:05:13.780 --> 01:05:16.559
Okay, so let's say Maui or Big Island. Oh, Maui.

01:05:16.659 --> 01:05:18.260
I mean, I love the Big Island Bailey. Your wedding

01:05:18.260 --> 01:05:21.079
was beautiful, but definitely Maui. Maui. Maui

01:05:21.079 --> 01:05:22.880
is amazing. I also stayed at the Four Seasons

01:05:22.880 --> 01:05:25.559
and it was amazing. Yeah, that would be the case.

01:05:25.559 --> 01:05:28.280
Have you golfed on Maui? I haven't golfed on

01:05:28.280 --> 01:05:30.300
Maui. I wasn't golfing back then when I was doing

01:05:30.300 --> 01:05:33.159
it, but next time. I don't know what the course

01:05:33.159 --> 01:05:35.599
was that I golfed on in Maui, but every hole

01:05:35.599 --> 01:05:37.860
you could see the ocean, every one they positioned

01:05:37.860 --> 01:05:39.659
just perfectly so you could. Oh my gosh, how

01:05:39.659 --> 01:05:41.639
amazing. Heaven. How amazing. It was totally

01:05:41.639 --> 01:05:46.260
heaven. Early riser or night owl? Neither. Can

01:05:46.260 --> 01:05:49.480
I sleep? Can I just sleep? You want to sleep

01:05:49.480 --> 01:05:53.099
in and you want to go to bed early. Okay. I was

01:05:53.099 --> 01:05:56.059
not expecting that one, but I will say I would

01:05:56.059 --> 01:05:59.179
rather stay up than get up early. But my job,

01:05:59.179 --> 01:06:01.280
I mean, I'm like, you know, your, your mental

01:06:01.280 --> 01:06:02.739
clock goes off early. Now I don't even think

01:06:02.739 --> 01:06:04.880
I'm capable of sleeping in past eight 30. So,

01:06:04.960 --> 01:06:09.000
I mean, yeah, I, I, but I, but before Sierra,

01:06:09.119 --> 01:06:11.659
she loves, she loves her sleep. So I'm going

01:06:11.659 --> 01:06:14.519
to say. Neither. Neither. Okay, that's a fair

01:06:14.519 --> 01:06:18.739
answer. Sparkling water or soda? Soda, 100%.

01:06:18.739 --> 01:06:20.360
Because you said Diet Dr. Pepper. Coke Zero or

01:06:20.360 --> 01:06:22.400
Diet Dr. Pepper. Okay, now Coke Zero I can get

01:06:22.400 --> 01:06:25.159
behind. 100%. It depends on where the restaurant

01:06:25.159 --> 01:06:27.340
offers. I'm going to initially say Diet Dr. Pepper,

01:06:27.420 --> 01:06:28.559
but if they don't, I'll do a Coke Zero. And they

01:06:28.559 --> 01:06:30.639
almost never will have Diet Dr. Pepper. Every

01:06:30.639 --> 01:06:32.300
once in a while, they're Pepsi products because

01:06:32.300 --> 01:06:35.780
Dr. Pepper is their own entity. So they go, you

01:06:35.780 --> 01:06:39.440
know, but yeah, I typically, Coke Zero will do

01:06:39.440 --> 01:06:41.300
the trick though, for sure. Yeah, I love Coke

01:06:41.300 --> 01:06:45.239
Zero. Okay, Netflix night in or girls night out?

01:06:45.559 --> 01:06:48.340
Is my Netflix night in with my boyfriend or is

01:06:48.340 --> 01:06:51.699
it not? I think that's your call. If I'm with

01:06:51.699 --> 01:06:54.019
someone, I'll do Netflix night in for sure because

01:06:54.019 --> 01:06:58.000
I tend to lean into that. I love that. Yeah.

01:06:58.119 --> 01:06:59.460
Cuddle. Maybe it's because I work for Mickey

01:06:59.460 --> 01:07:01.119
Couture, you know, and I just love the blankets.

01:07:01.760 --> 01:07:04.460
Absolutely. I work all day. But I will say I

01:07:04.460 --> 01:07:06.960
do love me some dancing and dinner with the girls.

01:07:07.099 --> 01:07:09.920
Good. Yeah, both. So it's kind of both. That's

01:07:09.920 --> 01:07:11.320
just totally fair. Okay, you ready for the rapid

01:07:11.320 --> 01:07:14.900
fire? Let's do it. Favorite Disney movie? Ooh,

01:07:14.980 --> 01:07:17.860
like right off the bat? This is going to sound

01:07:17.860 --> 01:07:21.550
bad, but I have all boys, heavyweights. Heavyweight

01:07:21.550 --> 01:07:23.949
heavyweights is a Disney movie and my kids is

01:07:23.949 --> 01:07:27.469
that you've never seen heavyweight. Oh Ryan this

01:07:27.469 --> 01:07:29.750
is a Disney podcast. Is this like a thing like

01:07:29.750 --> 01:07:32.190
a Disney Channel exclusive pull up the information

01:07:32.190 --> 01:07:36.070
on heavyweights Yeah, it's about all these boys

01:07:36.070 --> 01:07:38.250
that go to a fat camp to lose weight and they

01:07:38.250 --> 01:07:40.690
realize that like it's not about like just their

01:07:40.690 --> 01:07:42.710
diet It's about like feeling good about themselves

01:07:42.710 --> 01:07:44.829
and they lean into the friendships and when was

01:07:44.829 --> 01:07:47.980
when did this come out? Okay, I think I know

01:07:47.980 --> 01:07:50.019
the movie then. Well, I just dated myself, so

01:07:50.019 --> 01:07:51.179
now everyone knows Holden. It's been a long time

01:07:51.179 --> 01:07:53.559
since I've seen it. Yeah, my kids, we love heavyweights.

01:07:53.579 --> 01:07:55.980
It's the best. It's hilarious. And Ben Stiller's

01:07:55.980 --> 01:07:58.559
in it. Yeah. Okay, see, now it's ringing about.

01:07:58.559 --> 01:08:00.260
Dawson knows what I'm talking about. Now it's

01:08:00.260 --> 01:08:03.739
ringing about. Okay. Favorite Disney song? Oh,

01:08:03.840 --> 01:08:06.539
you know what? It's so random, but I obsess with

01:08:06.539 --> 01:08:10.280
it. Mulan. um let's get down to business or whatever

01:08:10.280 --> 01:08:12.840
that song is that's not random I am upset but

01:08:12.840 --> 01:08:15.000
it's so not like it's Donny Osmond I'm obsessed

01:08:15.000 --> 01:08:18.359
with it it's and I feel so like I'll play it

01:08:18.359 --> 01:08:19.979
in the car with my kids and they're like why

01:08:19.979 --> 01:08:21.460
are we doing I'm like I love it just let me have

01:08:21.460 --> 01:08:23.319
it it'll get you pumped up love it like it gets

01:08:23.319 --> 01:08:25.039
me all jazzed and energized like yeah I'm gonna

01:08:25.039 --> 01:08:27.180
go get down to business I'm gonna go accomplish

01:08:27.180 --> 01:08:29.510
some stuff I love it Love it. Such a great song.

01:08:29.590 --> 01:08:32.529
See, I think, I mean, Mulan did well, but I think

01:08:32.529 --> 01:08:34.470
it's a little underrated. It is underrated. I

01:08:34.470 --> 01:08:35.770
think it's pretty amazing. It is underrated.

01:08:35.850 --> 01:08:38.310
And it's not even like the storyline is like,

01:08:38.390 --> 01:08:39.729
oh my gosh, it's amazing. Because I guess it

01:08:39.729 --> 01:08:41.670
is kind of like an I Am Woman, Hear Me Roar storyline.

01:08:42.189 --> 01:08:45.369
But more than anything, it's funny. I mean, you've

01:08:45.369 --> 01:08:48.689
got, you know. Eddie Murphy. Eddie Murphy in

01:08:48.689 --> 01:08:50.850
anything. I'll take it. I mean, Shrek was, you

01:08:50.850 --> 01:08:52.109
know, that's not, that's DreamWorks. That's not

01:08:52.109 --> 01:08:54.250
Disney. But yeah. So anyway. Yeah, it's Donkey.

01:08:54.390 --> 01:08:56.890
Yeah, he was great as that. Favorite Disney princess?

01:08:58.070 --> 01:09:01.869
bell bell yeah i actually have brown hair and

01:09:01.869 --> 01:09:04.529
this is fake i know everyone looked at me and

01:09:04.529 --> 01:09:07.270
thought i was a natural blonde but um i always

01:09:07.270 --> 01:09:09.390
related to belle growing up i just thought she

01:09:09.390 --> 01:09:11.770
was the most beautiful princess do you love to

01:09:11.770 --> 01:09:15.050
read no no okay so you related to her in other

01:09:15.050 --> 01:09:17.449
ways okay i was like a big reader a lot of times

01:09:17.449 --> 01:09:20.470
a lot of times she is eternal though and i relate

01:09:20.470 --> 01:09:21.930
to that like her just taking care of her dad

01:09:21.930 --> 01:09:25.460
like she's maternal she's smart she's kind, you

01:09:25.460 --> 01:09:28.560
know, she's so kind to everyone. But more than

01:09:28.560 --> 01:09:31.380
that, yeah, like she, I love reading, like I

01:09:31.380 --> 01:09:33.359
just talked to someone about this. I love self

01:09:33.359 --> 01:09:35.659
-help books. I love those. I'm not a huge romance

01:09:35.659 --> 01:09:38.380
novel or like things like that, but I do love

01:09:38.380 --> 01:09:40.840
to read. Self -help books are reading too. Yeah,

01:09:41.119 --> 01:09:44.619
totally. Okay. Favorite Disney hero or heroine?

01:09:45.439 --> 01:09:51.060
Oh my gosh. Can I say Moana? Of course you can.

01:09:51.060 --> 01:09:53.359
I mean, she's amazing. Absolutely. She's a total

01:09:53.359 --> 01:09:55.180
hero. There's a reason I thought of her when

01:09:55.180 --> 01:09:56.979
I came to this podcast, because I just think

01:09:56.979 --> 01:10:01.399
she was so capable and strong and courageous.

01:10:01.460 --> 01:10:05.319
And I love that. I love that. It's great. I mean,

01:10:05.319 --> 01:10:07.119
most princesses were, but I like her. Yeah, that's

01:10:07.119 --> 01:10:11.439
a great answer. Okay, best Minky blanket. The

01:10:11.439 --> 01:10:14.039
cream hugs. Milk chocolate hugs. Cream. Cream.

01:10:14.039 --> 01:10:17.180
So it's one of them. The cream hugs is our bestseller,

01:10:17.279 --> 01:10:19.079
but there's a reason it's our bestseller. Yeah,

01:10:19.140 --> 01:10:22.439
because our hugs, it has that like sewn in that

01:10:22.439 --> 01:10:24.079
stretch sewn in. So it actually feels like a

01:10:24.079 --> 01:10:27.479
hug, but it is this there's a buttery soft and

01:10:27.479 --> 01:10:32.060
just you quite literally melt into it. Find yours

01:10:32.060 --> 01:10:35.619
at your local Mickey Couture stores in Draper

01:10:35.619 --> 01:10:37.579
and Orem and Sugar House. Anyway, well, we're

01:10:37.579 --> 01:10:38.579
just going to we're going to have to put a link

01:10:38.579 --> 01:10:40.260
in the episode. You will absolutely have to.

01:10:40.260 --> 01:10:43.789
It'll be there for ultimate dinner guest. Like

01:10:43.789 --> 01:10:51.149
Dead or Alive? Dead or Alive. Oh, fudge. I know

01:10:51.149 --> 01:10:53.810
this is what it is, but I'm going to have to

01:10:53.810 --> 01:10:56.949
say Steve Carell. I'm obsessed with him. The

01:10:56.949 --> 01:10:59.130
Office, yes, but every movie he's done, anything

01:10:59.130 --> 01:11:01.810
he's touched is gold, but definitely. But can

01:11:01.810 --> 01:11:05.539
I say Michael Scott? Can Michael Scott show up

01:11:05.539 --> 01:11:07.680
to dinner? Because that might be the best. I

01:11:07.680 --> 01:11:09.640
mean, that would be pretty hilarious. Steve Carell,

01:11:09.659 --> 01:11:11.420
I am so impressed with that man. You know what's

01:11:11.420 --> 01:11:13.220
so funny? When you were talking earlier about

01:11:13.220 --> 01:11:17.260
your acting and like having to apologize to people

01:11:17.260 --> 01:11:19.560
afterwards because you're the mean. Like, what

01:11:19.560 --> 01:11:21.100
I thought of when you said that was Steve Carell.

01:11:21.159 --> 01:11:22.880
Because that's what he did in the office. When

01:11:22.880 --> 01:11:25.060
you see bloopers afterwards, he would say these

01:11:25.060 --> 01:11:26.960
horrible things. And then he just couldn't hold

01:11:26.960 --> 01:11:28.760
it together. He's like, you guys, I'm so sorry.

01:11:28.899 --> 01:11:31.960
It's so awful. You do. You think they're taking

01:11:31.960 --> 01:11:33.880
it personally at the time. You're like, I'm so

01:11:33.880 --> 01:11:38.539
sorry. Yeah, I love Steve Carell. I love laughing.

01:11:38.720 --> 01:11:41.640
And he is one that always gets me laughing. Oh,

01:11:41.640 --> 01:11:43.439
yeah. If you went to dinner with him, you would

01:11:43.439 --> 01:11:45.560
not stop laughing. No. And it would be fantastic.

01:11:46.000 --> 01:11:47.739
See, I would love to have dinner with him and

01:11:47.739 --> 01:11:50.850
John Chris. Oh, together. The two of them are

01:11:50.850 --> 01:11:53.630
like magic together. What about Dwight Shrew?

01:11:53.710 --> 01:11:55.630
I mean, you got to get Reed Wilson in there.

01:11:55.890 --> 01:11:58.529
He's a little more cynical in real life. I've

01:11:58.529 --> 01:12:00.329
seen that. You're right. Yes, I have seen that.

01:12:00.390 --> 01:12:02.369
I mean, I still would like to hang out with him

01:12:02.369 --> 01:12:04.409
and talk with him. Yeah, you're right. It might

01:12:04.409 --> 01:12:06.130
be a better dynamic. John and Steve just seem

01:12:06.130 --> 01:12:08.729
like just positive guys who are just putting

01:12:08.729 --> 01:12:12.050
so much good out there in the world. Okay, favorite

01:12:12.050 --> 01:12:17.350
restaurant? Favorite restaurant. Okay, well,

01:12:17.470 --> 01:12:20.289
I'm going to be a little unique here. And this

01:12:20.289 --> 01:12:22.489
is no surprise for anyone who knows me, but I

01:12:22.489 --> 01:12:24.710
know it's not a restaurant, but Jack in the Box

01:12:24.710 --> 01:12:28.079
is my absolute favorite. Jack in the Box. Really?

01:12:28.199 --> 01:12:30.739
I'm obsessed with Jack in the Box tacos. No kidding.

01:12:30.920 --> 01:12:33.939
They're egg rolls, junior jumbo jack, no onions,

01:12:34.140 --> 01:12:38.220
and then a curly fry and teriyaki bowl. But that's

01:12:38.220 --> 01:12:41.600
just like a normal order. So, but yeah, I'm obsessed

01:12:41.600 --> 01:12:43.100
with Jack in the Box. I have been since I was

01:12:43.100 --> 01:12:45.520
a kid. That has to do because you're from California.

01:12:46.220 --> 01:12:47.739
100%. Because we didn't have that here for a

01:12:47.739 --> 01:12:50.020
long time. I know. And you're welcome that it's

01:12:50.020 --> 01:12:52.300
back because we're changing lives every day.

01:12:52.420 --> 01:12:54.960
Yeah. And I say we like I'm a part of it, but

01:12:54.960 --> 01:12:57.380
I probably hold stock at this point. But yeah,

01:12:57.479 --> 01:12:59.659
I always said if I ever left Minky, which I would

01:12:59.659 --> 01:13:01.979
never leave Minky, but if I ever did, it'd be

01:13:01.979 --> 01:13:04.060
to work. Like I could like put me in marketing

01:13:04.060 --> 01:13:06.640
at Jack in the Box. I would kill it. I would

01:13:06.640 --> 01:13:08.840
get anyone to try it. And then they'd fall in

01:13:08.840 --> 01:13:11.119
love with it because it's fantastic. And anyone

01:13:11.119 --> 01:13:12.460
who doesn't like Jack in the Box, everyone needs

01:13:12.460 --> 01:13:14.800
to calm down. Because it's that amazing. It's

01:13:14.800 --> 01:13:18.340
amazing. Yeah. Okay. You might not have one here

01:13:18.340 --> 01:13:19.659
from what you said earlier, but we're going to

01:13:19.659 --> 01:13:22.680
go with it anyways. Favorite book. Favorite book.

01:13:26.000 --> 01:13:29.079
Screw tape letters. C .S. Lewis. Okay. Fantastic.

01:13:29.380 --> 01:13:32.399
Love that. That's great. Okay. Now we're going

01:13:32.399 --> 01:13:34.939
to go to your, still rapid fire, but we're going

01:13:34.939 --> 01:13:37.720
to go back to your roots. Favorite role that

01:13:37.720 --> 01:13:40.479
you've ever played? Vanessa Harrington. I said

01:13:40.479 --> 01:13:42.060
her name and I can't believe I remembered her

01:13:42.060 --> 01:13:45.640
name, but she was just my first lead and I loved

01:13:45.640 --> 01:13:47.640
it. And she was the mean girl and I'm not mean.

01:13:47.779 --> 01:13:53.149
And so it was fun. Favorite musical? Okay, and

01:13:53.149 --> 01:13:55.989
I know this is not ideal for being an LDS woman,

01:13:56.149 --> 01:13:59.750
but Chicago. That was my very first Broadway

01:13:59.750 --> 01:14:02.149
play. I was actually on a church history tour

01:14:02.149 --> 01:14:04.510
in high school. And they said you could go see

01:14:04.510 --> 01:14:06.130
any Broadway play. And at the time, Chicago was

01:14:06.130 --> 01:14:08.289
playing. And the music, anyone who knows the

01:14:08.289 --> 01:14:10.350
music of Chicago, you know how addicting it can

01:14:10.350 --> 01:14:12.829
be to listen to. It's fantastic. I mean, I didn't

01:14:12.829 --> 01:14:14.090
know at the time what they were really singing

01:14:14.090 --> 01:14:16.300
about, obviously, until later. Even if I was

01:14:16.300 --> 01:14:18.300
in high school, I was like the Mormon table high

01:14:18.300 --> 01:14:22.079
school. And so, yeah, but that Chicago, I've

01:14:22.079 --> 01:14:23.500
seen Wicked, I've seen everything. I've seen

01:14:23.500 --> 01:14:26.520
a couple since then, but Chicago is just, I love

01:14:26.520 --> 01:14:29.619
it. I'm pretty excited. In a few weeks, I'm going

01:14:29.619 --> 01:14:32.539
to go down to St. George, Utah. No fun. And at

01:14:32.539 --> 01:14:35.880
Tuakon, they've got Les Mis. Yes. And boy, Les

01:14:35.880 --> 01:14:37.840
Mis is pretty high up. That's pretty high up,

01:14:37.840 --> 01:14:40.640
yeah. I love Les Mis so much. Like any opportunity

01:14:40.640 --> 01:14:42.159
I can get to see it. The music in that one. Yeah,

01:14:42.279 --> 01:14:45.060
the music is absolutely killer. So I'll let me

01:14:45.060 --> 01:14:48.880
see what my name is. Okay. Best advice to someone

01:14:48.880 --> 01:14:51.800
facing a new chapter and anxious about their

01:14:51.800 --> 01:15:00.319
next step. Oh, best advice. Don't get lost in

01:15:00.319 --> 01:15:06.079
yourself and remember to serve. Because I think

01:15:06.079 --> 01:15:07.720
a lot of people, I think it's very, when you're

01:15:07.720 --> 01:15:09.319
embarking on a new journey, it's very easy to

01:15:09.319 --> 01:15:12.199
be selfish and justify your actions. And I can

01:15:12.199 --> 01:15:13.739
admit that I probably even did that at the beginning

01:15:13.739 --> 01:15:16.479
when I first launched going back into the workforce

01:15:16.479 --> 01:15:19.560
where I was justifying my actions and, well,

01:15:19.579 --> 01:15:21.119
I'm doing this for my kids and I'm doing it for

01:15:21.119 --> 01:15:23.380
this. And maybe it was a little selfish because

01:15:23.380 --> 01:15:27.439
I was getting some glory or something. But realizing

01:15:27.439 --> 01:15:32.140
that the only true way to be happy is to make

01:15:32.140 --> 01:15:34.479
sure that you're looking outward and not just

01:15:34.479 --> 01:15:37.380
looking in. Yeah. So serving is huge. Fantastic

01:15:37.380 --> 01:15:40.819
advice. I love it. So on that note. We always

01:15:40.819 --> 01:15:43.760
like to end every episode with three actionable

01:15:43.760 --> 01:15:48.399
takeaways. Okay. So what are your recommended

01:15:48.399 --> 01:15:52.420
three actionable takeaways for somebody who is

01:15:52.420 --> 01:15:56.619
designing and building a new life and the process

01:15:56.619 --> 01:16:00.220
of becoming? Well, the first would be to jump.

01:16:00.520 --> 01:16:06.199
Just jump. Do it. Jump. Don't think too much

01:16:06.199 --> 01:16:12.409
about it and jump. The second would be to don't

01:16:12.409 --> 01:16:16.750
stop going. Don't stop. I feel like we do something

01:16:16.750 --> 01:16:18.529
that we're scared of and we're so quick to retreat

01:16:18.529 --> 01:16:21.029
if it doesn't go a certain way. You have to keep

01:16:21.029 --> 01:16:23.350
going. That's the only way to realize how strong

01:16:23.350 --> 01:16:25.550
you are and to accomplish things that are going

01:16:25.550 --> 01:16:28.909
to make you proud of yourself. So just keep going.

01:16:30.939 --> 01:16:33.140
The third would be to serve. I mean, I've said

01:16:33.140 --> 01:16:35.520
it the whole time, but I just think service is

01:16:35.520 --> 01:16:37.020
just huge. And I think a lot of people think

01:16:37.020 --> 01:16:39.039
service has to be making a meal for someone,

01:16:39.239 --> 01:16:42.680
you know, or going out of your way to do these

01:16:42.680 --> 01:16:45.859
grand things. But serving can also be just being

01:16:45.859 --> 01:16:48.720
kind and taking the extra five minutes to have

01:16:48.720 --> 01:16:52.500
that conversation or, you know, remembering to

01:16:52.500 --> 01:16:55.739
wish someone a happy birthday or something like

01:16:55.739 --> 01:16:58.000
that. I do think that just being outside of yourself

01:16:58.000 --> 01:17:01.479
and being aware of other people. Yeah, love it.

01:17:01.500 --> 01:17:03.819
Absolutely fantastic. Thank you so much for the

01:17:03.819 --> 01:17:06.220
conversation today. Thank you for being vulnerable

01:17:06.220 --> 01:17:10.060
with us, sharing parts of your life where you've

01:17:10.060 --> 01:17:12.720
had some trials, but also where you've shown

01:17:12.720 --> 01:17:16.500
some amazing resilience and strength to build

01:17:16.500 --> 01:17:19.220
and create a very beautiful and wonderful life

01:17:19.220 --> 01:17:21.039
for yourself. So thank you so much. Well, thank

01:17:21.039 --> 01:17:23.520
you. Thank you for having me. You bet. As you

01:17:23.520 --> 01:17:26.460
leave this conversation, remember that yes, the

01:17:26.460 --> 01:17:29.050
past can hurt. And you can either run from it

01:17:29.050 --> 01:17:32.210
or you can learn from it. So here's to learning

01:17:32.210 --> 01:17:35.569
and finding joy in the journey. See you real

01:17:35.569 --> 01:17:35.810
soon.