Inside Out and Turning Tragedy Into Purpose | Grace Laubenthal

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I mean, I think at that point, I just knew my

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whole entire life had flipped upside down, and

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I had no idea what that truly meant for me yet.

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Joy says, oh, sadness, I have a super important

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job just for you. And Joy says, mm -hmm, follow

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me. This is the circle of sadness. Your job is

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to make sure that all the sadness stays inside

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of it. I think a lot of us shove our emotions,

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we shove our sadness because A, we think it's

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a distraction, B, we don't want to feel it, or

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C, we just want to ignore it. I never got the

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opportunity to really learn who I was and to

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just be the person that I wanted to be because

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I was so scared because I didn't feel safe enough

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to really show the world who I was living back

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home. And by leaning into these parts of me,

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just like emotions, I've been able to work through

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them, to see them, to greet them with love and

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compassion. And I've been able to create this

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different story for myself. For anything to change,

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the only thing that needs to change is you. You're

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the one in the driver's seat. You have the power

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and it's your decision. Welcome to Yes and Land,

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where we say yes to the reality of yesterday

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and today. And we say and to the possibility,

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growth, and imagination of tomorrow. Welcome

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back to another episode of Yes and Land. Very

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excited today about our guests, getting opportunity

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to talk to, man, an up and comer, right? Someone

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who's really making some waves, making some waves

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in the Utah real estate market. But more than

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that has, you know, a really inspirational story

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about what we do with tragedy, what we do with

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hard times in life, and how we can use a mindset

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shift. to look at things in a different way and

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then to create the life that we want. And so

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super excited to dive into that topic today with

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Grace Lewenthal. So Grace, thank you for being

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on today. Yeah, thanks for having me. I'm super

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excited. So before we dive into more of the heart

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of your story, let's take it all the way back.

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You're from Iowa, right? Yep. So tell for us

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in Utah, we may not know a lot about Iowa. Tell

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us, what is it like growing up in Iowa? What's

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Iowa like? Well, Iowa, it's very homey. Okay.

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It's definitely not like Utah. You don't have

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the mountains. It's very flat. Clearer air. Yeah,

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our air here is not great. Not great. Right?

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That's something I didn't know. Yeah. Do you

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have issues with the air here? Does it ever cause

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you any kind of like allergies or hay fever?

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It did at first. Yeah. Yeah, it did at first.

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And now I'm pretty used to it. Is it humid in

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Iowa? Super. Yeah. Which is, again, opposite

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of here. Yeah. So dry and arid. Yeah. Which I

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actually appreciate the dry heat in the summers.

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I mean, for sure. Yeah. Right? You can get in

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the shade. You're like, wow, it's like 20 degrees

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cooler in the shade. This is terrific. Yeah.

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It's great. So growing up, Iowa, it's flat, not

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a lot of mountains. What was it like? What was

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it like growing up, going to school? You have

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siblings? Yep. I have two young. Two younger

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siblings. So you're the oldest. I'm the oldest.

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Yeah. Tell tell tell me what your perspective

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is on being the oldest. What's that like? Yeah,

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I think I loved being the oldest. And I really

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think you truly do set the example for your younger

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siblings and you lead the way because they're

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always watching. Yeah. And so it was super interesting

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to have younger siblings throughout the course

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of my life because they've seen me grow from,

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you know, when they were young to where I am

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now. What's the age gap? So my brother, he's

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19, so two years younger. My sister is 16. Okay.

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So not too big of a spread between you. Five

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years really between the three of you. So you

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guys were pretty closely grouped together, did

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a lot of things together. Were you pretty tight

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with your siblings growing up? Yeah, I would

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say we were pretty close, and we were also very

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busy. We all played sports. So as a family, we

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were close, but we also all had our own things

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at the same time, which was pretty cool. Yeah.

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Yeah. Your parents, are they originally from

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Iowa, born and raised in Iowa? Yep. Yep. Both

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of them were from the Northwest Iowa area. So

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about four hours from where I grew up. They're

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still back there in Iowa? Mm -hmm. Yep. Hanging

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out, loving life? Yep. Exactly. Like missing

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you, like, oh, Grace is in Utah. Yeah. Have they

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come out to visit you at all? Yes, they have.

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They have. And? And they loved it. Good. Yeah.

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And they're coming again in September, which

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I'm super excited about. And what are you going

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to take them to do? What are the Utah things

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y 'all are going to do? Well, my mom and I are

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going to do a High Rocks together. Oh man. Yeah.

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Oh man. Look, I don't, I don't know exactly what

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high rocks is, but it's everywhere, right? Yeah.

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It's fun. So you love it. I do. And your mom's

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into it. Yeah. That's amazing. Yeah. It's going

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to be her first one. So she's so excited. Okay.

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And she's like hardcore training right now. Oh

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yeah. Yeah. It's gotta be intense. It is. Okay.

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But it's also super fun. Is it like, do you see

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this? I'm just totally a rookie at this. They're

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like high rocks classes you go to. Is it, is

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it like CrossFit in that sense of like. You go

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do high rocks. And if you want to do competition,

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you're going to those classes to prepare for

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that. Is it like that? Yes, it is in a way. And

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you can also train alone. So my first high rocks

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that I did, I trained primarily by myself and

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with a group of people, not with a class. But

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there are classes as well, which I would totally

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recommend. Okay. And so we're going to have a

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lesson on high rocks. Yeah, exactly. I love it.

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But we're going to do it because I'm just really

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curious. Yeah. So with high rocks. Like what

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is, what is it? Like it's some kind of race.

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Is it similar to like these races where it's

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like Spartan and that kind of stuff? Or what

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is it? It's kind of similar. I like to compare

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it most to CrossFit, if you will. But essentially

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there's eight different exercises. And before

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each exercise, you run a thousand meters. And

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what I love about High Rocks is you're not really

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competing against everyone else. I mean, you

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can, there are, you do get placed, right? But

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at the end of the day, it's just a race you against

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yourself to get the best time that you can. And

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so what I really loved about it is just the training

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and to just push myself past my limits and throughout

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the whole race, it was just me against me, which

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I loved. Yeah. What are the different? exercise

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circuits that you do. You said there's eight?

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Yep. So there's eight. So you start by running

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and then a thousand meter ski machine. Like an

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erg? Yep. The ski erg. Thousand meters. Those

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are tough. Yeah. Super. Yeah. Yeah. At least

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you get those done in the first one. And then

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you have sled push and sled pull for two and

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three, which in my opinion is the hardest ones

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because they blow out your legs and you're so

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early on in the race. Yep. Yeah. And then you

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have the rower for 1 ,000 meters. And you have

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a 200 -meter farm carry. And then you have lunges.

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And then you have 100 ball balls to finish it

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off. Oh, see, that would be my least favorite.

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Yeah. Wall balls. Oh, my goodness. Those are

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tough. And you have judges. So if you don't get

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low enough, they won't count your reps. So for

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anyone listening, make sure you get low enough.

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Okay, so here's the question. Will they make

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exceptions? I'm asking for a very specific reason.

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Probably depends on the judge. Because, so I

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did a little bit of CrossFit just for fun. I

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never did a competition, but I've got terrible

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knee problems. And it came from a surgery that

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I had when I was in the MTC. And basically the

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type of surgery they did to repair the problem

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I had tightened the tendons. And so over the

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last, well, it's been a long time. Maybe I won't

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admit how long, 20 plus years. It's worn down.

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So that between my kneecap and my knee cavity,

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there's no cartilage left at all. Interesting.

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And so my doctor said, like, you cannot in any

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exercise at all bend your knee past 90. Really?

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Which for CrossFit is a no dice, right? Like,

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I'm doing CrossFit. They want you going low,

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right? Your butt's back touching the ground.

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And so I would have to go into class and be like,

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I'm not supposed to go beyond this. And then

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they would, like, forget. And then they'd be

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like, go lower. And I'm like, I can't. I can't.

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So I end up stopping because like, you know,

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the expectations you go lower because it is a

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better workout. Like there's no question. It's

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a better burn when you go lower. Totally. But

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if I keep doing it, like I'm going to have a

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knee replacement sooner rather than give myself

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five to 10 years, right? Oh my gosh. So I'm like,

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man, I don't know if I can do a real competition

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that way. Maybe they would not make exceptions

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for me, but. Yeah, that's actually a great question.

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Slackers like me, right? Yeah. Won't go low enough.

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Come on. I know. Come on. You do feel like a

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punk, right? You're like, oh, I'm totally like

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dogging it over here. Not going low. Blaming

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the knee. I know. We're like, I swear it's a

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knee. I swear. It was like this guy, this guy.

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Well, so that's really fun that you and your

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mom were doing that together. Did you guys do

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other things together? Like growing up? Are you

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guys pretty tight? Yeah. Me and my mom were super,

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super close growing up. And I would say we did

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so much together. We traveled. sports. Um, I

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would say my parents were very involved in all

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of our lives. Um, they were our biggest cheerleaders,

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our biggest fans. Um, and so we spent a lot of

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time together growing up. Yeah. Good. Yeah. Um,

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well, so one of the things that we're going to

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take a look at today is we're gonna take a look

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at some, some life lessons from the movie inside

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out. Right. Um, and so as we kind of dive into

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more of your story, And we'll take a look and

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kind of compare and contrast that with some things

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that we kind of learned from Inside Out. Set

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the stage, if you would, about Inside Out and

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kind of what's going on in this wonderful. disney

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movie right this is just a gem it's an absolute

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jam it is so kind of set the stage for it just

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in case somebody hasn't watched it or at least

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not watched it recently like what's the overarching

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story going on in inside out yeah so um essentially

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an inside out um what i love about it and i actually

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got to re -watch it on the plane the other week

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it was perfect um but what i love about inside

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out is that I am blanking on the main character's

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name right now. Riley. Riley is the main character

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of the movie. And inside of her brain, we have

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different emotions. We have joy. We have sadness.

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There's disgust. There's anger. And what I love

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throughout the movie is it really shows how all

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of the emotions work together. And there can't

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be one that overpowers the other. And I just

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think that's so important. And it's crazy that

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Disney movies can. teach us such beautiful lessons.

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But that's the one thing that I love most about

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it. And what I found really interesting in learning

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more about this movie after it came out, because

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it came out a number of years ago, was actually

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how much research the writers did in understanding

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what's going on in psychology of really the human

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mind, but also specifically kids and teenagers

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during those years. But the same thing applies

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to us, which is why in the movie you also see

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like the dad's brain and the mom's brain and

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like what's going on there. And I do think you

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bring up a great point, which is definitely part

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of where we want to take the arc of this story,

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which is kind of the interplay between these

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emotions. And because initially, like Joy's running

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the show, right? Like she is in charge. She's

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running the show. In fact, I even have a quote

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that I want to ask you about. Yeah, I love it.

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So at the very beginning, when Joy is running

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the show and she's, you know, not super excited

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about what sadness is doing and bringing it to

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the table, they have this exchange. Joy says,

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Oh, sadness. I have a super important job just

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for you. And sadness says, really? And joy says,

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follow me. And they're perfect. This is the circle

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of sadness. Your job is to make sure that all

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the sadness stays inside of it. Right. And so,

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you know, I think it's just funny exchange, right?

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It's this cute, funny exchange at the beginning

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of the movie. There's obviously layers deeper.

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Totally. So when we think about that, about.

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You know, how do you see that applying to what

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we sometimes do with our emotions that maybe

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doesn't serve us well? Oh, that's a great question.

00:12:07.120 --> 00:12:10.360
And I feel like that quote actually sets this

00:12:10.360 --> 00:12:13.360
up perfectly. But my experience with our emotions

00:12:13.360 --> 00:12:17.740
is that in order for them to go, they need to

00:12:17.740 --> 00:12:21.659
be felt first. And I think a lot of us shove

00:12:21.659 --> 00:12:23.960
our emotions, we shove our sadness because A,

00:12:24.000 --> 00:12:26.539
we think it's a distraction. B, we don't want

00:12:26.539 --> 00:12:29.700
to feel it. or C, we just want to ignore it.

00:12:30.200 --> 00:12:33.659
And I think when we do one of those three things,

00:12:33.879 --> 00:12:37.639
it just keeps it inside and it gets pushed inside

00:12:37.639 --> 00:12:40.419
of your head. It stays in your body and you never

00:12:40.419 --> 00:12:43.240
allow it to pass through to really open up all

00:12:43.240 --> 00:12:44.899
of the other emotions that you want to feel as

00:12:44.899 --> 00:12:50.740
well. That's really well said. It's such a good

00:12:50.740 --> 00:12:53.360
depiction in this movie of what that is. Something

00:12:53.360 --> 00:12:57.429
that we all... do at times exactly um and we

00:12:57.429 --> 00:12:59.289
might think that it's like in the interest of

00:12:59.289 --> 00:13:01.470
self -preservation or like oh no that's what

00:13:01.470 --> 00:13:03.710
i've got to do it's like a survival mechanism

00:13:03.710 --> 00:13:07.070
and and the reality is it does not serve us well

00:13:07.070 --> 00:13:10.590
because ultimately as we saw here like said this

00:13:10.590 --> 00:13:13.129
doesn't stay in the circle exactly uh shinji

00:13:13.129 --> 00:13:15.750
just becoming super disruptive because joy is

00:13:15.750 --> 00:13:18.210
just trying to keep her inside that circle exactly

00:13:18.210 --> 00:13:22.049
so when we when we take a look at some things

00:13:22.049 --> 00:13:24.610
that um you've experienced i'm gonna kind of

00:13:24.610 --> 00:13:26.669
dive into this is that okay yeah of course um

00:13:26.669 --> 00:13:29.570
and and i know like i've i've i've heard you

00:13:29.570 --> 00:13:31.690
on your podcast and some other podcasts and so

00:13:31.690 --> 00:13:33.789
i know that you've been very gracious to people

00:13:33.789 --> 00:13:35.409
to share like what was a really hard time in

00:13:35.409 --> 00:13:36.789
your life and i want to be really sensitive that

00:13:36.789 --> 00:13:39.789
right um but i also think it's really helpful

00:13:39.789 --> 00:13:42.110
for people to hear somebody going through something

00:13:42.110 --> 00:13:45.750
that was really really hard totally um and how

00:13:45.750 --> 00:13:48.629
that affected your life at that time and then

00:13:48.629 --> 00:13:52.330
how you built such a beautiful life from that

00:13:52.509 --> 00:13:56.269
from that time. And so if you wouldn't mind kind

00:13:56.269 --> 00:13:59.809
of setting the stage for kind of this, what I

00:13:59.809 --> 00:14:01.649
would estimate is the hardest thing you've gone

00:14:01.649 --> 00:14:03.629
through in your life. Is that fair? Is that what

00:14:03.629 --> 00:14:05.529
you would say? It's got to be, right? It's got

00:14:05.529 --> 00:14:07.690
to be. So maybe set the stage for us a little

00:14:07.690 --> 00:14:11.330
bit. I think you're working at that time. You

00:14:11.330 --> 00:14:14.960
were 16 years old, right? And so maybe set the

00:14:14.960 --> 00:14:16.440
stage for us and kind of walk us through what

00:14:16.440 --> 00:14:18.379
happened. And I'll have some additional questions

00:14:18.379 --> 00:14:19.779
of like just trying to understand a little bit

00:14:19.779 --> 00:14:21.980
more that's there and kind of what you're experiencing

00:14:21.980 --> 00:14:25.820
so we can really start to see and learn from

00:14:25.820 --> 00:14:27.799
you on how you process through those things.

00:14:28.000 --> 00:14:30.259
Yeah, that's great. Well, I'll sum it up super

00:14:30.259 --> 00:14:33.039
as quick as I can. It's kind of a big story.

00:14:33.179 --> 00:14:35.080
And you don't have to, right? Yeah, totally.

00:14:35.440 --> 00:14:39.139
We can go as long as it feels. authentic or good

00:14:39.139 --> 00:14:41.320
for you in this story. Right. Because you can

00:14:41.320 --> 00:14:43.100
make it faster if you need to. Right. But if

00:14:43.100 --> 00:14:44.480
you need to take your time, take your time. Hey,

00:14:44.500 --> 00:14:49.519
awesome. Well, thank you. And I'm excited to

00:14:49.519 --> 00:14:52.139
share my story with you all. So I was 16 years

00:14:52.139 --> 00:14:56.899
old on my way to work. I was working at a protein

00:14:56.899 --> 00:15:00.960
shake and tea shop. And I was on my work on my

00:15:00.960 --> 00:15:05.720
way to work at 5 a .m. And I have driven on the

00:15:05.720 --> 00:15:10.320
same road for. years, right? Two years, I guess

00:15:10.320 --> 00:15:12.159
I should say, because I had my school permit.

00:15:12.840 --> 00:15:16.899
And it was 5am. And I remember I was running

00:15:16.899 --> 00:15:20.799
a little bit late to work. And about, you know,

00:15:20.799 --> 00:15:23.100
three minutes into my drive, I hit something.

00:15:24.039 --> 00:15:27.700
And I remember calling my mom, obviously, you

00:15:27.700 --> 00:15:30.159
hit something. So you slam on your brakes. And

00:15:30.159 --> 00:15:33.899
I remember stopping my car. calling my mom, like,

00:15:33.960 --> 00:15:35.620
mom, I hit something, but I just had like this

00:15:35.620 --> 00:15:38.179
horrible gut feeling in my body. I was just like,

00:15:38.259 --> 00:15:41.759
this does not feel good. And I think, obviously,

00:15:42.200 --> 00:15:44.200
you get in a crash, you don't know what's happened

00:15:44.200 --> 00:15:46.679
yet, right? But I remember saying, hey, I'm going

00:15:46.679 --> 00:15:50.200
to go walk back, but it doesn't feel good. And

00:15:50.200 --> 00:15:54.120
so I remember walking back, maybe about 10 feet,

00:15:54.200 --> 00:15:58.539
I can't fully remember. And I remember seeing

00:15:58.539 --> 00:16:02.250
a bicyclist on the ground. laying on the ground.

00:16:02.990 --> 00:16:05.610
And I remember saying to my mom, oh my gosh,

00:16:05.690 --> 00:16:10.429
mom, it's a biker. And a lot of that morning

00:16:10.429 --> 00:16:13.850
was a blur. But what I can remember is my mom

00:16:13.850 --> 00:16:16.889
was at the gym. So she was like, I will be right

00:16:16.889 --> 00:16:20.250
there. And I remember there was a car behind

00:16:20.250 --> 00:16:22.909
me that ended up stopping. And there was a different

00:16:22.909 --> 00:16:24.690
car coming the other way that ended up stopping.

00:16:24.769 --> 00:16:26.870
I believe she was in like a white truck. And

00:16:26.870 --> 00:16:32.399
so we called 911. We gave him CPR. Can't say

00:16:32.399 --> 00:16:34.200
how long it was, but before you know it, there's

00:16:34.200 --> 00:16:36.279
an ambulance, there's lights, there's police

00:16:36.279 --> 00:16:40.139
cars. And I just remember sitting here shaking

00:16:40.139 --> 00:16:43.059
and I get the chills as I'm speaking. I'm like,

00:16:43.120 --> 00:16:51.360
what has just happened? So you're, I mean, I

00:16:51.360 --> 00:16:54.639
just can't, can't even imagine what that's like,

00:16:54.639 --> 00:17:00.370
you know? How are you processing it? I mean,

00:17:00.389 --> 00:17:03.309
it's like you said, it's a blur. Like, where

00:17:03.309 --> 00:17:07.190
does your head go? Where do your emotions go

00:17:07.190 --> 00:17:12.250
as you're ultimately end up leaving the scene

00:17:12.250 --> 00:17:15.329
of that? You go back home, I assume, is where

00:17:15.329 --> 00:17:17.769
you go at that point in time. What are you kind

00:17:17.769 --> 00:17:21.519
of experiencing in those moments? Yeah, so I

00:17:21.519 --> 00:17:25.140
didn't go straight home. My mom and I ended up

00:17:25.140 --> 00:17:27.480
going into a police car and headed to the Coralville

00:17:27.480 --> 00:17:30.660
Police Station, which was my hometown. And I

00:17:30.660 --> 00:17:34.500
remember, I think I was just scared. I think

00:17:34.500 --> 00:17:36.279
I was just terrified. I think I was confused.

00:17:37.079 --> 00:17:41.400
I think I was sad. Like I know as I'm talking

00:17:41.400 --> 00:17:44.519
right now, like I'm feeling probably what's most

00:17:44.519 --> 00:17:48.259
alive is sadness. But I think I just remember

00:17:48.259 --> 00:17:50.430
saying to my mom, Because I went through a few

00:17:50.430 --> 00:17:52.609
things before this, like struggling with mental

00:17:52.609 --> 00:17:54.849
health a little bit. Thought I was getting better.

00:17:54.950 --> 00:17:56.970
And I was like, Mom, I just have a feeling things

00:17:56.970 --> 00:17:59.750
are going to get a lot worse. And I was like,

00:17:59.789 --> 00:18:03.430
this isn't going to be good. And so, I mean,

00:18:03.450 --> 00:18:05.150
I think at that point, I just knew my whole entire

00:18:05.150 --> 00:18:07.950
life had flipped upside down. And I had no idea

00:18:07.950 --> 00:18:12.529
what that truly meant for me yet. Sure. So at

00:18:12.529 --> 00:18:15.309
that point in time, the ambulance had come. They

00:18:15.309 --> 00:18:20.099
took him to the hospital, I'm assuming. How long

00:18:20.099 --> 00:18:23.140
before he ultimately passed away? Yeah. So I

00:18:23.140 --> 00:18:27.240
remember really the only thing on my mind wasn't

00:18:27.240 --> 00:18:31.640
really me for a lot of the process. It was, is

00:18:31.640 --> 00:18:34.859
he alive? Yeah. Like, is he okay? Yeah. What's

00:18:34.859 --> 00:18:38.779
going on? And I didn't find out a ton of information

00:18:38.779 --> 00:18:43.460
that day or the following day. And I do remember

00:18:43.460 --> 00:18:45.240
like the only thing I was asking, is he okay?

00:18:45.400 --> 00:18:50.000
Is he alive? Like what happened? And I remember

00:18:50.000 --> 00:18:53.539
a couple of days later, I was in the car with

00:18:53.539 --> 00:18:57.599
my mom. And finally, I'm like, mom, can you please

00:18:57.599 --> 00:19:01.400
tell me, like, is he alive? You know, because

00:19:01.400 --> 00:19:04.579
I could just feel it. And she was like, honey,

00:19:04.839 --> 00:19:12.039
he passed away. And I just remember, like, I

00:19:12.039 --> 00:19:15.700
just went into shock, like bawling, you know,

00:19:15.700 --> 00:19:19.180
because. I was like, oh my gosh, like my actions

00:19:19.180 --> 00:19:26.880
have caused someone to pass away. And so it was

00:19:26.880 --> 00:19:29.960
just an emotion, like an experience that I can't

00:19:29.960 --> 00:19:33.640
say, like I can't replay over again, if that

00:19:33.640 --> 00:19:38.400
makes sense. Yeah, absolutely. So, you know,

00:19:38.539 --> 00:19:42.140
you're, you're, you're, you find this out, you

00:19:42.140 --> 00:19:45.559
find this information out. And then if I remember

00:19:45.559 --> 00:19:47.480
correctly, I think at some point in time too,

00:19:47.500 --> 00:19:50.480
you guys made the wise decision of just trying

00:19:50.480 --> 00:19:52.880
to contact counsel and just get an idea of like,

00:19:53.079 --> 00:19:55.319
okay, what are we looking at here? What are the

00:19:55.319 --> 00:19:57.559
possibilities? What should we prepare for? What

00:19:57.559 --> 00:19:59.799
was that experience like? I mean, as you know,

00:19:59.880 --> 00:20:02.519
I'm an attorney, right? And I know people are

00:20:02.519 --> 00:20:04.720
calling us in their darkest hours, right? In

00:20:04.720 --> 00:20:05.940
the times that are really, really difficult.

00:20:07.220 --> 00:20:09.660
So what was that experience like as you're trying

00:20:09.660 --> 00:20:11.200
to get advice from counsel and trying to figure

00:20:11.200 --> 00:20:15.019
things out? get information, being aware of what

00:20:15.019 --> 00:20:17.619
to expect? Yeah, that's a great question. So

00:20:17.619 --> 00:20:20.779
what I will say is the day of my accident, once

00:20:20.779 --> 00:20:22.599
I left the police station, they just advised

00:20:22.599 --> 00:20:26.259
me to just go on with my daily life to try and

00:20:26.259 --> 00:20:30.140
live as normally as I could. And that was for

00:20:30.140 --> 00:20:33.380
about a month. And throughout this month, we

00:20:33.380 --> 00:20:36.019
were advised by some family friends, you should

00:20:36.019 --> 00:20:39.279
probably lawyer up. Um, luckily I had great parents

00:20:39.279 --> 00:20:41.980
and they did take care of a lot for me. They

00:20:41.980 --> 00:20:44.980
helped obviously me find a lawyer. Um, and I

00:20:44.980 --> 00:20:47.420
just remember being like, why do I need a lawyer?

00:20:47.559 --> 00:20:49.740
Why are lawyers getting involved? Like I didn't

00:20:49.740 --> 00:20:52.019
have the full understanding of, I guess, like

00:20:52.019 --> 00:20:56.180
how deep this was in that aspect, if that makes

00:20:56.180 --> 00:20:58.180
sense. I just, you don't know what you don't

00:20:58.180 --> 00:21:00.160
know. Yeah. You have no idea you're 16 years

00:21:00.160 --> 00:21:03.059
old. Yeah, exactly. And so I was just scared.

00:21:03.200 --> 00:21:05.680
I didn't know who to trust. I just didn't know

00:21:05.680 --> 00:21:08.720
what that meant. But I do remember talking to

00:21:08.720 --> 00:21:11.460
him for the first time. Tell me everything. Like,

00:21:11.480 --> 00:21:13.859
here's what we know. Here are the worst possible

00:21:13.859 --> 00:21:17.259
case scenarios. So we did go through it. We were

00:21:17.259 --> 00:21:20.740
like, okay, court, you could get charged. You

00:21:20.740 --> 00:21:23.539
could go put in, be put in like a woman's facility

00:21:23.539 --> 00:21:27.539
or juvie, right? They kind of went over all of

00:21:27.539 --> 00:21:30.319
the worst case. And we're like, we don't think

00:21:30.319 --> 00:21:32.759
this will happen, but like we're preparing you

00:21:32.759 --> 00:21:35.759
for the worst. And so it just put me in a constant

00:21:35.759 --> 00:21:38.470
state of fear. Which is hard, right? Because

00:21:38.470 --> 00:21:42.049
what's interesting is I advise clients about

00:21:42.049 --> 00:21:44.509
things in divorce, right? I have to be real with

00:21:44.509 --> 00:21:47.369
them. You have to give them those like possibilities

00:21:47.369 --> 00:21:51.710
of things that could happen. And I'm not ignorant

00:21:51.710 --> 00:21:54.250
to the fact that that can cause quite a bit of

00:21:54.250 --> 00:21:56.650
stress. Because it's hard, right? Like when you

00:21:56.650 --> 00:21:58.730
go through something hard, I think we all naturally

00:21:58.730 --> 00:22:00.269
want to just know that it's going to be okay.

00:22:00.869 --> 00:22:03.720
Everything's going to be rosy and great. Sometimes

00:22:03.720 --> 00:22:06.279
it's not. Sometimes there's going to be some

00:22:06.279 --> 00:22:07.980
hard things that happen, some hard choices that

00:22:07.980 --> 00:22:11.319
have to be made or some harsh things that we

00:22:11.319 --> 00:22:13.960
have to face. So ultimately, what ended up happening?

00:22:14.539 --> 00:22:18.140
Yeah. So what ended up happening was I was at

00:22:18.140 --> 00:22:21.799
track practice. Before track practice, I did

00:22:21.799 --> 00:22:26.140
my normal morning. So I went to work. I went

00:22:26.140 --> 00:22:27.619
to work out and then I went to track practice.

00:22:27.859 --> 00:22:29.960
And we started track practice inside, which I

00:22:29.960 --> 00:22:31.099
thought was weird because it wasn't raining.

00:22:31.680 --> 00:22:35.059
And my coach was acting a little weird, didn't

00:22:35.059 --> 00:22:38.339
really think anything of it. But then after we

00:22:38.339 --> 00:22:40.200
broke out, he was like, hey, Grace, the office

00:22:40.200 --> 00:22:42.859
needs you. I'm like, OK, you know, it's probably

00:22:42.859 --> 00:22:46.059
my grades like school isn't my first priority

00:22:46.059 --> 00:22:49.299
at this point. But I remember I walked into the

00:22:49.299 --> 00:22:52.299
office and I walked into the conference room

00:22:52.299 --> 00:22:58.160
with four police officers. And. I just like my

00:22:58.160 --> 00:23:00.859
stomach dropped and I knew one of them and he

00:23:00.859 --> 00:23:03.000
was holding a phone with his bag. And so I was

00:23:03.000 --> 00:23:06.220
like, what's going on? You know, what are we

00:23:06.220 --> 00:23:08.460
doing here? And they're like, you're coming with

00:23:08.460 --> 00:23:11.400
us. And I'm like, well, where are we going? And

00:23:11.400 --> 00:23:13.740
they explained to me that I was going to go to

00:23:13.740 --> 00:23:18.079
get my fingerprints done to the sheriff's department.

00:23:18.359 --> 00:23:20.519
And then I was going to go to the detention center

00:23:20.519 --> 00:23:24.539
in Cedar Rapids. And I was like, does my mom

00:23:24.539 --> 00:23:27.950
know? Like she just dropped me off. Like, you

00:23:27.950 --> 00:23:29.509
know, I was just like flustered. I was like,

00:23:29.529 --> 00:23:31.329
can I call my mom? Can I call my lawyer? Like

00:23:31.329 --> 00:23:32.430
you don't really know what to do when you're

00:23:32.430 --> 00:23:36.049
16. You don't know how to respond. Adults don't

00:23:36.049 --> 00:23:37.509
know how to respond. Yeah. When you're faced

00:23:37.509 --> 00:23:40.789
with that situation. Yeah. Yeah. No idea what

00:23:40.789 --> 00:23:44.390
to do. Exactly. Yeah. Exactly. And so ultimately

00:23:44.390 --> 00:23:45.990
they were like, you need to come outside with

00:23:45.990 --> 00:23:47.410
us. And I was like, well, can I call my mom?

00:23:47.750 --> 00:23:50.890
And so ultimately we ended up all five of us

00:23:50.890 --> 00:23:53.990
walking outside. I got in the car with two of

00:23:53.990 --> 00:23:57.210
them. And they did end up calling my mom when

00:23:57.210 --> 00:23:59.109
I was in the car and he was standing outside

00:23:59.109 --> 00:24:01.650
of the window and she didn't answer the first

00:24:01.650 --> 00:24:04.210
time. And I was like, well, she doesn't know

00:24:04.210 --> 00:24:06.109
the number. Like she just dropped me off. She's

00:24:06.109 --> 00:24:08.849
still in her car. Can we please call again? And

00:24:08.849 --> 00:24:11.769
so I just remember finally she answered and I

00:24:11.769 --> 00:24:14.410
just broke out into tears. And I was like, mom,

00:24:14.609 --> 00:24:17.369
like this is what's happening. And talked for

00:24:17.369 --> 00:24:19.970
maybe 20, 30 seconds. And then I was on my way.

00:24:20.529 --> 00:24:24.690
Which had to be. A lot. It was a lot. When you're

00:24:24.690 --> 00:24:29.210
that age. What was that like for you with your

00:24:29.210 --> 00:24:31.210
peers and those that you were around when you're

00:24:31.210 --> 00:24:35.950
kind of going through this? Yeah, well, it was

00:24:35.950 --> 00:24:39.329
tricky, you know, because the whole community

00:24:39.329 --> 00:24:44.029
ended up finding out about the accident and ended

00:24:44.029 --> 00:24:47.829
up being a big thing in our community. And so

00:24:47.829 --> 00:24:52.900
I didn't feel a lot of support. at all yeah but

00:24:52.900 --> 00:24:55.220
i did feel supported by my family and the people

00:24:55.220 --> 00:24:58.279
i was around um however it's also embarrassing

00:24:58.279 --> 00:25:01.319
like when your old older sister has an ankle

00:25:01.319 --> 00:25:05.140
monitor and your daughter and your friend right

00:25:05.140 --> 00:25:09.200
um but i would say also like the people that

00:25:09.200 --> 00:25:11.539
i did find throughout that summer like they supported

00:25:11.539 --> 00:25:14.319
me on big time like it didn't matter to them

00:25:14.319 --> 00:25:19.420
if that makes sense yeah i mean When you go through

00:25:19.420 --> 00:25:24.220
those hard things in life, it tends to separate

00:25:24.220 --> 00:25:26.359
out those who truly care about you and those

00:25:26.359 --> 00:25:32.440
that don't. And what did you find as the differentiating

00:25:32.440 --> 00:25:34.779
factor for those who stuck with you and stuck

00:25:34.779 --> 00:25:37.339
by your side and supported you and those who

00:25:37.339 --> 00:25:39.980
didn't? What did you learn from that or what

00:25:39.980 --> 00:25:41.740
did you see as the difference between those that

00:25:41.740 --> 00:25:44.819
did and those that didn't? What I learned was

00:25:44.819 --> 00:25:48.869
that Those that did love me for who I was, they

00:25:48.869 --> 00:25:52.470
showed it. And what I mean by that is I'm a firm

00:25:52.470 --> 00:25:56.130
believer in energy over actions and actions over

00:25:56.130 --> 00:26:00.390
words. Because people can say things, right?

00:26:00.529 --> 00:26:03.230
But their actions are really going to show you

00:26:03.230 --> 00:26:06.170
how they feel, right? And so what I would say

00:26:06.170 --> 00:26:09.789
is the people that were in my life or the people

00:26:09.789 --> 00:26:11.390
that did come into my life that summer, they

00:26:11.390 --> 00:26:13.579
really showed up big for me. There wasn't much

00:26:13.579 --> 00:26:18.140
I had to offer at that point because throughout

00:26:18.140 --> 00:26:20.700
all of it, I wasn't really sure how I should

00:26:20.700 --> 00:26:24.660
feel, which we can get into. Like, you don't

00:26:24.660 --> 00:26:29.920
know how to feel because you can't act too happy

00:26:29.920 --> 00:26:33.359
or else people will think you don't care what

00:26:33.359 --> 00:26:35.920
happened. You can't act too sad or else your

00:26:35.920 --> 00:26:38.819
family is worried for your safety. You can't

00:26:38.819 --> 00:26:41.259
be destructive because then you're going to fit

00:26:41.259 --> 00:26:46.309
into. you know, the monster, right? And so you're

00:26:46.309 --> 00:26:48.650
kind of just in this position where you're like,

00:26:48.690 --> 00:26:51.990
I don't know how to feel because I'm also not

00:26:51.990 --> 00:26:57.210
the victim here, you know, and I'm alive, right?

00:26:57.309 --> 00:27:04.069
So he wasn't. And so it was just very hard to

00:27:04.069 --> 00:27:06.109
know how to feel and how to show up, I would

00:27:06.109 --> 00:27:09.829
say. When did you start to get some clarity on

00:27:09.829 --> 00:27:14.380
that? What was the inflection point or the turning

00:27:14.380 --> 00:27:17.819
point where you started to feel like you could

00:27:17.819 --> 00:27:20.380
start to embrace the way you felt in certain

00:27:20.380 --> 00:27:22.960
moments without having to worry so much about

00:27:22.960 --> 00:27:26.220
being judged or other people worrying about how

00:27:26.220 --> 00:27:31.819
you felt? I would say I don't know if there was

00:27:31.819 --> 00:27:34.859
like a certain moment because even reflecting

00:27:34.859 --> 00:27:37.200
back on that summer and reflecting on my journey

00:27:37.200 --> 00:27:39.599
since then. I think there was always parts of

00:27:39.599 --> 00:27:41.259
me that I just showed up how I was. Sometimes

00:27:41.259 --> 00:27:44.380
I was angry. Sometimes I was sad. Sometimes I'd

00:27:44.380 --> 00:27:47.720
have a good laugh. Right. And so I think I did

00:27:47.720 --> 00:27:52.700
when I was comfortable show up in my authentic

00:27:52.700 --> 00:27:56.299
self. Right. But I think, you know, especially

00:27:56.299 --> 00:27:58.299
for my parents, sometimes that was maybe a little

00:27:58.299 --> 00:28:01.339
hard to hold. You know what I mean? Like, I think

00:28:01.339 --> 00:28:03.240
throughout all of it, I think I knew I was going

00:28:03.240 --> 00:28:05.900
to be OK. I knew I was going to get through it,

00:28:05.920 --> 00:28:07.559
even if some days I was like, I can't do this

00:28:07.559 --> 00:28:12.400
anymore. But I think, too, like the people who

00:28:12.400 --> 00:28:14.579
loved me most also worried about me so much,

00:28:14.660 --> 00:28:17.180
which just ended up being production. You know

00:28:17.180 --> 00:28:21.380
what I mean? Absolutely. So, you know, you're

00:28:21.380 --> 00:28:27.819
going through these things. Do you ever feel

00:28:27.819 --> 00:28:31.559
like, was part of it you felt guilty if you were

00:28:31.559 --> 00:28:35.230
too happy? Totally. Yeah. which is so hard because

00:28:35.230 --> 00:28:39.250
that thing happened. You paid a consequence for

00:28:39.250 --> 00:28:42.490
it. You did what you're supposed to, and you've

00:28:42.490 --> 00:28:44.410
got to be, and you're entitled to move forward

00:28:44.410 --> 00:28:49.349
with life, which is really hard. So you go through

00:28:49.349 --> 00:28:52.210
these things. You end up, I think you did ankle

00:28:52.210 --> 00:28:54.230
monitor, right? You have probation until you're

00:28:54.230 --> 00:28:57.779
18. And then at that point in time. What did

00:28:57.779 --> 00:28:59.599
that look like? Did you end up going back to

00:28:59.599 --> 00:29:02.680
school? Did you end up doing remote school? What

00:29:02.680 --> 00:29:04.400
did you end up doing there? Yeah, so I ended

00:29:04.400 --> 00:29:07.299
up staying online school for the rest of my high

00:29:07.299 --> 00:29:11.200
school experience, partially because COVID happened

00:29:11.200 --> 00:29:13.420
when I was a freshman, so it was an option. And

00:29:13.420 --> 00:29:15.640
so I was just like, I'm not going to go back,

00:29:15.779 --> 00:29:18.839
you know? I get it. Yeah. I totally get it. That

00:29:18.839 --> 00:29:20.799
was probably a good decision for you. Yeah, totally.

00:29:21.319 --> 00:29:24.339
With the people that were closest to you, what

00:29:24.339 --> 00:29:28.390
did you find? were helpful things that they said?

00:29:28.869 --> 00:29:31.910
And what did you find were not? And here's why

00:29:31.910 --> 00:29:33.730
I ask, let me set the stage for a little bit.

00:29:33.910 --> 00:29:36.029
When I've talked to a number of other people

00:29:36.029 --> 00:29:37.730
going through really hard things in life, I've

00:29:37.730 --> 00:29:40.509
always just found it very educational for me

00:29:40.509 --> 00:29:43.849
to know like, hey, what actually helps in those

00:29:43.849 --> 00:29:46.730
moments? What can somebody say or do that makes

00:29:46.730 --> 00:29:48.980
a difference? And what isn't? And I'm always

00:29:48.980 --> 00:29:51.339
surprised by the things that aren't because I've

00:29:51.339 --> 00:29:53.839
said similar things. Totally. Thinking I'm doing

00:29:53.839 --> 00:29:56.519
good. Right. And it's like super not helpful.

00:29:56.640 --> 00:29:59.079
Exactly. So what was that like for you? What

00:29:59.079 --> 00:30:00.940
things were said that were helpful? And then

00:30:00.940 --> 00:30:03.759
on the other hand, what things were said by people

00:30:03.759 --> 00:30:05.900
with good intentions that were really not helpful?

00:30:06.240 --> 00:30:08.180
Yeah, totally. That's actually a great question.

00:30:08.720 --> 00:30:10.279
And my answer actually might be a little bit

00:30:10.279 --> 00:30:12.640
different. Good. We want different. Yeah, we

00:30:12.640 --> 00:30:15.720
love different. And I would say a lot of times

00:30:15.720 --> 00:30:18.740
it wasn't what they said. I think it's just how

00:30:18.740 --> 00:30:21.339
you showed up, like how the people showed up.

00:30:21.559 --> 00:30:23.880
Because there's some times where I didn't want

00:30:23.880 --> 00:30:27.079
to talk. I just want the company or I just don't

00:30:27.079 --> 00:30:30.119
want to talk about what has happened. Right.

00:30:30.259 --> 00:30:33.740
You know, because. what i went through was so

00:30:33.740 --> 00:30:36.119
unique it's not something that a lot of my friends

00:30:36.119 --> 00:30:39.440
or peers or parents or family really even could

00:30:39.440 --> 00:30:43.279
relate to um granted we all had our own experiences

00:30:43.279 --> 00:30:46.160
throughout this time um but a lot of times i

00:30:46.160 --> 00:30:50.599
actually didn't always want advice um because

00:30:50.599 --> 00:30:53.400
and this was probably like the anger in me i'm

00:30:53.400 --> 00:30:56.000
like you can't relate um because you aren't the

00:30:56.000 --> 00:30:57.720
one in my shoes right now like i do remember

00:30:57.720 --> 00:31:02.990
saying that um and while that may be true um

00:31:02.990 --> 00:31:05.009
i know have more awareness i'm like okay but

00:31:05.009 --> 00:31:08.170
they also have their own experiences um throughout

00:31:08.170 --> 00:31:11.970
this as well um and so for me a lot of times

00:31:11.970 --> 00:31:14.190
i just wanted people to listen or someone to

00:31:14.190 --> 00:31:19.670
just cry to you know what i mean uh -huh so you

00:31:19.670 --> 00:31:23.069
know i mean let's let's go take it to inside

00:31:23.069 --> 00:31:25.809
out yeah because obviously you know riley had

00:31:25.809 --> 00:31:28.230
vastly different experience but i think what

00:31:28.230 --> 00:31:30.089
the lesson part of the lesson here is what the

00:31:30.089 --> 00:31:31.910
emotions are that we experience right because

00:31:32.569 --> 00:31:37.410
In Riley's story, what we see is she's in, I

00:31:37.410 --> 00:31:40.269
believe, Minnesota. She plays hockey, right?

00:31:40.630 --> 00:31:42.289
And then her parents have to move because her

00:31:42.289 --> 00:31:44.490
dad, I think, gets a new job. Exactly. They were

00:31:44.490 --> 00:31:46.509
kind of staying there and they moved to San Francisco.

00:31:46.650 --> 00:31:50.150
And so she's experiencing these emotions of some

00:31:50.150 --> 00:31:53.329
loss, right? Loss of her friends, loss of her

00:31:53.329 --> 00:31:57.099
hockey team, her school that she was in. And

00:31:57.099 --> 00:32:00.279
she's, and this, this sadness inside of her is

00:32:00.279 --> 00:32:02.140
really wanting to break free from that circle.

00:32:02.759 --> 00:32:06.559
And, and it seems like in the way that it plays

00:32:06.559 --> 00:32:08.579
out, some of, some of it, she's kind of denying

00:32:08.579 --> 00:32:11.460
that for a while, like not embracing those emotions.

00:32:11.579 --> 00:32:15.380
There's one exchange there where they're kind

00:32:15.380 --> 00:32:17.559
of asking her about her first day of school,

00:32:17.579 --> 00:32:20.220
right? She goes to school finally and kind of

00:32:20.220 --> 00:32:24.119
here's the exchange. Her mom says, so big day,

00:32:24.200 --> 00:32:26.750
new school, new friends, huh? And Riley's response,

00:32:26.910 --> 00:32:29.390
it was fine, I guess. I don't know. But she's

00:32:29.390 --> 00:32:31.769
just kind of like, I'm not going to deal with

00:32:31.769 --> 00:32:33.470
it. I'm not prepared. I'm not even willing to

00:32:33.470 --> 00:32:37.210
acknowledge good or bad about it. Like, I'm over

00:32:37.210 --> 00:32:38.170
it. I don't even want to talk about it. Right?

00:32:38.670 --> 00:32:40.789
Is that kind of what you're experiencing sometimes

00:32:40.789 --> 00:32:42.609
where it's like, I don't even want to talk about

00:32:42.609 --> 00:32:44.470
it. Don't ask me about it. Like, I don't want

00:32:44.470 --> 00:32:48.190
to talk. Yeah, totally. Totally. I think I did

00:32:48.190 --> 00:32:50.930
that a lot. Right? Don't get me wrong. I did

00:32:50.930 --> 00:32:53.170
feel my feelings. And there was many days that

00:32:53.170 --> 00:32:55.279
I cried. But there were also a lot of days that

00:32:55.279 --> 00:32:57.720
I pushed it off because it felt too heavy to

00:32:57.720 --> 00:33:03.339
feel. Before we jump back in, can I ask you a

00:33:03.339 --> 00:33:05.799
quick favor? If you're enjoying the journey so

00:33:05.799 --> 00:33:09.220
far, will you like, rate, and subscribe to our

00:33:09.220 --> 00:33:12.039
show? It helps us reach more people like you.

00:33:12.500 --> 00:33:15.799
We can design and create and build the most wonderful

00:33:15.799 --> 00:33:18.920
place in the world, but it takes people to make

00:33:18.920 --> 00:33:23.710
the dream a reality. What's your advice to people

00:33:23.710 --> 00:33:28.170
going through hard times in life where they're

00:33:28.170 --> 00:33:31.890
struck with that, right? Of like, if it's just,

00:33:31.910 --> 00:33:33.849
if you just go feel it, you just feel it every

00:33:33.849 --> 00:33:36.470
single day and then it becomes wallowing as opposed

00:33:36.470 --> 00:33:39.849
to just feeling the emotions versus trying to

00:33:39.849 --> 00:33:42.890
find the times to feel it and the times to try

00:33:42.890 --> 00:33:47.029
to pass it and feel something else. Yeah, that's

00:33:47.029 --> 00:33:50.650
a great question. And it's making you think this

00:33:50.650 --> 00:33:52.880
is good. Yeah, it is making me think. I'm like,

00:33:52.940 --> 00:33:54.799
what direction do I want to go? Because I don't

00:33:54.799 --> 00:33:56.339
have good answers here. That's why I was really

00:33:56.339 --> 00:33:58.359
curious because I'm like, I don't know. I don't

00:33:58.359 --> 00:33:59.920
know how you do it because, you know, we're taught

00:33:59.920 --> 00:34:02.700
so many times these days that like you've got

00:34:02.700 --> 00:34:04.480
to feel the emotions. You can't hide them. You

00:34:04.480 --> 00:34:06.660
can't put them away. You have to feel them. At

00:34:06.660 --> 00:34:08.599
some point in time, you have to also move past

00:34:08.599 --> 00:34:10.719
them. Exactly. And then feel something different.

00:34:10.980 --> 00:34:13.719
Yeah, exactly. And I think when you go through

00:34:13.719 --> 00:34:18.000
something so heavy, our brains are actually the

00:34:18.000 --> 00:34:19.940
one that tries to block us off from feeling.

00:34:21.250 --> 00:34:23.630
our brains are the ones telling us you're fine.

00:34:23.730 --> 00:34:26.170
You're fine. Just keep going. Just keep going.

00:34:26.269 --> 00:34:29.269
But your heart and your body is, it wants to

00:34:29.269 --> 00:34:34.409
feel. And so, yes, you can push off your emotions.

00:34:34.469 --> 00:34:36.130
You can push off the sadness that you're feeling,

00:34:36.170 --> 00:34:39.269
but it's always going to be inside of you until

00:34:39.269 --> 00:34:43.130
you let it pass all of the way until you feel

00:34:43.130 --> 00:34:46.349
the sadness. And once you feel the sadness, Once

00:34:46.349 --> 00:34:48.150
you feel the emotion that you're feeling, it's

00:34:48.150 --> 00:34:50.630
just going to allow you to feel everything else

00:34:50.630 --> 00:34:55.550
even bigger as well. If that makes sense. So,

00:34:55.690 --> 00:34:58.070
you know, one of the things that we talked about

00:34:58.070 --> 00:35:01.869
in preparation for this episode is a little bit

00:35:01.869 --> 00:35:04.530
the way that mindset plays into things that we

00:35:04.530 --> 00:35:06.230
see and feel. So I've got a quote for you. Okay.

00:35:06.309 --> 00:35:08.949
A non -movie quote. We're going to go with something

00:35:08.949 --> 00:35:11.949
I think that you like, which is Ed Milet. I love

00:35:11.949 --> 00:35:15.570
Ed Milet. Great. Yeah. And he said. The greatest

00:35:15.570 --> 00:35:18.110
obstacle to success is not external factors,

00:35:18.289 --> 00:35:22.329
but rather our own limiting beliefs. Change your

00:35:22.329 --> 00:35:27.250
mindset, change your life. And I think that's,

00:35:27.250 --> 00:35:29.829
I mean, I think that is your story. Totally.

00:35:30.010 --> 00:35:33.230
Right. So, so walk us through that. You go through

00:35:33.230 --> 00:35:34.690
this thing that's really hard. You have these

00:35:34.690 --> 00:35:37.550
days that are so hard. Can't just be sad all

00:35:37.550 --> 00:35:40.050
the time. So sometimes you have to not. And then

00:35:40.050 --> 00:35:43.599
at some. At some point, this shift happens where

00:35:43.599 --> 00:35:46.719
your mindset is different. You've been able to

00:35:46.719 --> 00:35:49.460
move past it. You're not discounting the fact

00:35:49.460 --> 00:35:51.119
that it was hard. You accepted that it was hard.

00:35:51.219 --> 00:35:53.380
You accepted it happened. Kind of the core of

00:35:53.380 --> 00:35:56.599
our yes and. Yes, that happened. And I'm going

00:35:56.599 --> 00:36:00.519
to build a great life. Exactly. How did you do

00:36:00.519 --> 00:36:04.579
that? How I did that, it didn't happen overnight.

00:36:05.480 --> 00:36:07.980
And I think I do want to say that throughout.

00:36:08.400 --> 00:36:12.739
all of this. I did truly believe that it was

00:36:12.739 --> 00:36:15.099
happening for a reason and that it was calling

00:36:15.099 --> 00:36:18.400
me for something higher. And so I always believed

00:36:18.400 --> 00:36:23.300
that. And some days, yes, it was hard to believe.

00:36:23.380 --> 00:36:26.719
I'm like, why is this happening? Right. And I

00:36:26.719 --> 00:36:29.860
would say, I mean, it took years of therapy,

00:36:29.980 --> 00:36:33.900
of coaching with Jeremy. And what I would say,

00:36:33.940 --> 00:36:41.099
what really started The shift was just realizing,

00:36:41.219 --> 00:36:46.099
you know, once I made it past kind of a lot of

00:36:46.099 --> 00:36:48.119
the heavy stuff, like once I moved out, then

00:36:48.119 --> 00:36:51.039
I realized, oh, I have control over my life again.

00:36:51.639 --> 00:36:54.500
And so it was kind of the independence that moving

00:36:54.500 --> 00:36:56.679
into my own apartment gave me. I was like, oh,

00:36:56.800 --> 00:37:00.690
I have control over my life again. And even though

00:37:00.690 --> 00:37:02.710
I have control over my life, again, I think a

00:37:02.710 --> 00:37:04.690
lot of things happen in life externally that

00:37:04.690 --> 00:37:08.329
make us feel like we don't have any power. And

00:37:08.329 --> 00:37:11.550
so I would say I've been exploring that concept

00:37:11.550 --> 00:37:17.469
for, you know, three plus years. So moving out

00:37:17.469 --> 00:37:20.789
certainly had sounds like a big impact. What

00:37:20.789 --> 00:37:24.670
impact did moving states have? How has that played

00:37:24.670 --> 00:37:27.050
a role in this journey of you building your new

00:37:27.050 --> 00:37:31.170
life? Yeah. So moving states. It's a big deal.

00:37:31.190 --> 00:37:33.630
It's a big move. It is a big deal. Iowa to Utah.

00:37:33.809 --> 00:37:36.550
Yeah, it's wild. Super different. Yeah. Yeah.

00:37:36.889 --> 00:37:41.469
I would say, yeah, because before that, yeah,

00:37:41.570 --> 00:37:43.849
I just had moved to my apartment. And so even

00:37:43.849 --> 00:37:46.730
the difference of moving from home to my apartment

00:37:46.730 --> 00:37:50.230
and then from Iowa to Utah was wild because I

00:37:50.230 --> 00:37:52.510
remember saying a few things. I want to go somewhere

00:37:52.510 --> 00:37:56.219
where no one knows me. And I want to become the

00:37:56.219 --> 00:37:57.739
version of myself that I've always wanted to

00:37:57.739 --> 00:38:01.780
be. And what's super interesting is as I've moved,

00:38:01.840 --> 00:38:05.380
well, one, I did know my team moving here, but

00:38:05.380 --> 00:38:07.820
I truly am somewhere where no one knows me. And

00:38:07.820 --> 00:38:10.199
it's very different than living somewhere where

00:38:10.199 --> 00:38:14.280
you know everybody. And the be becoming who I've

00:38:14.280 --> 00:38:17.880
always wanted to be is a really beautiful opportunity.

00:38:23.690 --> 00:38:28.909
Always the opportunity to really learn who I

00:38:28.909 --> 00:38:32.829
was and discover the things that I like to do

00:38:32.829 --> 00:38:36.150
and to just be the person that I wanted to be

00:38:36.150 --> 00:38:38.369
because I was so scared to be who I wanted to

00:38:38.369 --> 00:38:41.969
be because I didn't feel safe enough to really

00:38:41.969 --> 00:38:46.030
show the world who I was living back home. And

00:38:46.030 --> 00:38:50.179
this is this is part of. what I think is so beautiful

00:38:50.179 --> 00:38:53.280
about your story. Like, this is exactly it. And

00:38:53.280 --> 00:38:59.179
I came across this quote from Renee Brown that

00:38:59.179 --> 00:39:01.880
just really epitomized, I think, what we're talking

00:39:01.880 --> 00:39:06.780
about here. What she said was, I'm going to try

00:39:06.780 --> 00:39:10.860
not to get emotional on this. Why is this one

00:39:10.860 --> 00:39:15.139
hitting me, Grace? She said, when we deny our

00:39:15.139 --> 00:39:18.820
stories, they define us. When we own our stories,

00:39:18.980 --> 00:39:22.659
we get to write a brave new ending. I love that.

00:39:23.039 --> 00:39:28.159
And so for you, like what I'm hearing is you

00:39:28.159 --> 00:39:30.500
made this move, right? This move to Utah and

00:39:30.500 --> 00:39:33.960
you've been able though to still embrace it,

00:39:34.000 --> 00:39:36.539
which is why I think it's so, it's counterintuitive

00:39:36.539 --> 00:39:39.699
because one would think, okay, move to Utah,

00:39:39.719 --> 00:39:42.010
just get away from it, right? And then just leave

00:39:42.010 --> 00:39:44.309
that past in the past and then you'll never have

00:39:44.309 --> 00:39:46.309
to worry about it again because nobody here knows

00:39:46.309 --> 00:39:48.130
anything about it. But that's not what you did.

00:39:48.590 --> 00:39:51.230
It's not what you did because you're here today

00:39:51.230 --> 00:39:55.510
and you've been on other podcasts and you have

00:39:55.510 --> 00:39:57.309
your own podcast and you're doing other things

00:39:57.309 --> 00:39:59.630
and you're talking about your story. You're not

00:39:59.630 --> 00:40:03.110
hiding from it. How has that empowered you to

00:40:03.110 --> 00:40:06.309
be able to be the full version of yourself and

00:40:06.309 --> 00:40:09.070
bring goodness to other people? I love that.

00:40:09.420 --> 00:40:12.699
I love that. And what I will say, what that quote

00:40:12.699 --> 00:40:17.340
reminded me of is that the key is, is you have

00:40:17.340 --> 00:40:20.599
to run to these parts of you. You can't hide

00:40:20.599 --> 00:40:22.159
from them because they're always going to be

00:40:22.159 --> 00:40:24.300
there. And what I have done is I have ran to

00:40:24.300 --> 00:40:28.039
these old parts of me. Moving to Utah has created

00:40:28.039 --> 00:40:31.639
the space for me to feel safe enough to lean

00:40:31.639 --> 00:40:34.500
into those parts of me. And by leaning into these

00:40:34.500 --> 00:40:37.179
parts of me, just like emotions, I've been able

00:40:37.179 --> 00:40:39.769
to work through them. to see them, to greet them

00:40:39.769 --> 00:40:42.210
with love and compassion. And I've been able

00:40:42.210 --> 00:40:46.329
to create this different story for myself. So

00:40:46.329 --> 00:40:53.409
it's so good. And, you know, in life, everybody

00:40:53.409 --> 00:40:56.889
has hard seasons and hard trials. And, you know,

00:40:56.889 --> 00:41:00.489
sometimes, I mean, what I think is the case,

00:41:00.510 --> 00:41:02.070
and maybe you can give your thoughts here on

00:41:02.070 --> 00:41:04.030
this, is sometimes we do need to have a little

00:41:04.030 --> 00:41:06.440
bit of an environment change. It doesn't have

00:41:06.440 --> 00:41:07.880
to be that we move all the way across the country.

00:41:07.960 --> 00:41:11.079
It doesn't have to be that. It could be. Right.

00:41:11.260 --> 00:41:14.539
It could be, but sometimes you do have to move

00:41:14.539 --> 00:41:16.079
houses. Sometimes you've got to change jobs.

00:41:16.300 --> 00:41:19.199
Sometimes you've got to change friend groups

00:41:19.199 --> 00:41:26.860
so that you can feel safe. What have you found

00:41:26.860 --> 00:41:29.860
has been helpful for you in finding safe places,

00:41:30.079 --> 00:41:33.739
right? Safe groups, safe places to be able to...

00:41:34.480 --> 00:41:38.500
Be yourself, express who you are. Well, the funny

00:41:38.500 --> 00:41:43.139
thing is, is that I actually, yes, there are

00:41:43.139 --> 00:41:45.860
safe groups, there are safe places, but ultimately

00:41:45.860 --> 00:41:49.139
for anything to change, the only thing that needs

00:41:49.139 --> 00:41:53.940
to change is you. And in order for me to feel

00:41:53.940 --> 00:41:55.599
safe, it's not the other people, it's myself.

00:41:56.039 --> 00:42:02.219
And so what it's shown me is that, you know,

00:42:02.800 --> 00:42:07.219
As I've moved, I've had a shift in my belief

00:42:07.219 --> 00:42:10.079
that it's not the other people, it's me. So I

00:42:10.079 --> 00:42:12.880
clearly feel safe in myself to show up this way

00:42:12.880 --> 00:42:17.260
in Iowa or to show up this way years ago, right?

00:42:17.340 --> 00:42:20.179
And so it started with me. And then by feeling

00:42:20.179 --> 00:42:23.099
safe within me, I've been able to open up to

00:42:23.099 --> 00:42:26.019
others and be able to let down my guard and be

00:42:26.019 --> 00:42:29.159
able to trust others and be a part of safer groups

00:42:29.159 --> 00:42:32.309
because I had a story that no one was safe. Nothing

00:42:32.309 --> 00:42:35.710
was safe. Only I was. But in reality, I didn't

00:42:35.710 --> 00:42:38.349
feel that way internally, which is why I showed

00:42:38.349 --> 00:42:43.530
up externally that way. Have you found that once

00:42:43.530 --> 00:42:46.690
you did that work on yourself and then you could

00:42:46.690 --> 00:42:48.570
be safe with others, have you found that that's

00:42:48.570 --> 00:42:50.630
helped empower others to feel safe enough where

00:42:50.630 --> 00:42:52.150
they can open up a little bit? Totally. Do you

00:42:52.150 --> 00:42:54.090
find that true? Yeah, totally. Because I mean,

00:42:54.130 --> 00:42:58.369
I have to imagine that it has. Yeah. I mean,

00:42:58.369 --> 00:43:00.650
just hearing the vulnerability in your story

00:43:00.650 --> 00:43:05.489
and you sharing it, to me, that empowers others.

00:43:05.530 --> 00:43:08.150
It helps others feel like, look, if she's brave

00:43:08.150 --> 00:43:12.610
enough, maybe I've got it too. Maybe I can. Maybe

00:43:12.610 --> 00:43:16.969
I can not shy away from the fact that I sometimes

00:43:16.969 --> 00:43:19.340
feel that. Or that I struggle with certain things.

00:43:19.480 --> 00:43:20.880
Or that there are certain parts of me that are

00:43:20.880 --> 00:43:23.500
really tough. That I want to hide away and lock

00:43:23.500 --> 00:43:25.599
away and put in a little circle and not let out.

00:43:25.880 --> 00:43:28.760
But I can because if she's brave enough to, she's

00:43:28.760 --> 00:43:31.119
gone through something harder than I can. Exactly.

00:43:31.559 --> 00:43:34.380
So I think you also like Dan Sullivan. Is that

00:43:34.380 --> 00:43:36.019
right? Yeah. Another quote from him, which is

00:43:36.019 --> 00:43:39.059
just perfectly on point. And it just really highlights

00:43:39.059 --> 00:43:40.519
exactly what you're saying. He said, everything

00:43:40.519 --> 00:43:43.619
in life happens for you. Exactly. Not to you.

00:43:44.980 --> 00:43:47.699
So when we look at that shift. What does that

00:43:47.699 --> 00:43:52.199
shift do for people holding themselves back?

00:43:52.420 --> 00:43:55.320
What does that do for people who have not been

00:43:55.320 --> 00:43:58.119
able to embrace maybe what their potential is?

00:43:58.360 --> 00:44:01.539
Yeah. Well, what I love about that quote is when

00:44:01.539 --> 00:44:04.519
you say everything happens to me, that puts you

00:44:04.519 --> 00:44:06.179
in victim mode and that takes away your power.

00:44:07.260 --> 00:44:10.260
Whereas when you say everything happens for me,

00:44:10.500 --> 00:44:13.679
you're the one in the driver's seat. You're the

00:44:13.679 --> 00:44:16.219
one, you have the power and it's your decision.

00:44:17.239 --> 00:44:20.119
Anything in life is really your decision. And

00:44:20.119 --> 00:44:23.159
so what I love about that quote is that it just

00:44:23.159 --> 00:44:26.500
shows people the differences. Really, there's

00:44:26.500 --> 00:44:28.980
like two voices in your head, right? You got

00:44:28.980 --> 00:44:31.079
the victim side and you've got the one where

00:44:31.079 --> 00:44:33.440
you're taking the control. And it's just like,

00:44:33.539 --> 00:44:36.880
which one are you going to choose? Because at

00:44:36.880 --> 00:44:39.800
the end of the day, it's no one else deciding.

00:44:39.880 --> 00:44:44.760
It's you deciding. And it's what I find so interesting

00:44:44.760 --> 00:44:48.769
too about this is. We hear that. And academically,

00:44:48.909 --> 00:44:51.190
I think most people are like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:44:51.309 --> 00:44:53.909
That happens for me. Yeah. And then when something

00:44:53.909 --> 00:44:56.050
really hard happens, they're the exception. Right.

00:44:56.070 --> 00:44:58.909
Or it can't possibly be that way. Of course,

00:44:58.929 --> 00:45:01.489
I'm the victim. Right. And it's just so easy

00:45:01.489 --> 00:45:03.869
for people to get caught into that victim mentality.

00:45:04.050 --> 00:45:06.829
Totally. It's the other outside factors. That's

00:45:06.829 --> 00:45:09.869
what's keeping me back. That's why I can't get

00:45:09.869 --> 00:45:11.789
the job I want. That's why I can't make the income

00:45:11.789 --> 00:45:14.150
I want. That's why I can't get the clients and

00:45:14.150 --> 00:45:18.159
close real estate deals like I want to. Um, and

00:45:18.159 --> 00:45:21.400
yet that paradigm shift, if we can make it and

00:45:21.400 --> 00:45:24.519
it's not easy, if we can make it, it just opens

00:45:24.519 --> 00:45:29.579
up a lot to me. Like, is that a shift that happens

00:45:29.579 --> 00:45:31.500
once or is it a shift that happens every day?

00:45:31.699 --> 00:45:33.780
I think it's totally a shift that happens every

00:45:33.780 --> 00:45:37.260
day. Um, because in my experience, a lot of what

00:45:37.260 --> 00:45:39.659
we tell ourselves, like 95 % of our thoughts

00:45:39.659 --> 00:45:42.940
are subconscious, right? And so if 95 % of our

00:45:42.940 --> 00:45:45.199
thoughts are subconscious, A lot of the things

00:45:45.199 --> 00:45:46.800
that we're telling ourself, we don't even realize

00:45:46.800 --> 00:45:48.699
that we're telling ourself. And that's what's

00:45:48.699 --> 00:45:51.039
super interesting. And so in my experience, what

00:45:51.039 --> 00:45:53.380
I've had to do, I'll notice I tell myself something.

00:45:53.500 --> 00:45:55.820
Oh, this client's not going to work with me.

00:45:56.280 --> 00:45:59.679
This client is going to work. Like once you start

00:45:59.679 --> 00:46:01.739
to notice what you're telling yourself, then

00:46:01.739 --> 00:46:03.380
you can shift it. And so it's just consciously

00:46:03.380 --> 00:46:05.800
shifting the things that you're saying to yourself.

00:46:05.900 --> 00:46:09.340
It starts with just noticing it, awareness, and

00:46:09.340 --> 00:46:11.840
then shifting it. I think that's exactly right.

00:46:14.280 --> 00:46:18.119
Allow me to digress for a second. So I'm going

00:46:18.119 --> 00:46:20.579
to talk about something that's technically religious,

00:46:20.699 --> 00:46:24.079
but I'll explain why it's not. And hopefully

00:46:24.079 --> 00:46:25.980
we'll have a broader set because I like to appeal

00:46:25.980 --> 00:46:28.760
to anybody who wants to listen. And in my mind,

00:46:28.820 --> 00:46:31.579
you know, somebody believes devoutly in God or

00:46:31.579 --> 00:46:34.079
just a higher power or just nature. This applies

00:46:34.079 --> 00:46:36.860
across the board. But there's something that

00:46:36.860 --> 00:46:39.699
is said in the particular scripture that says

00:46:39.699 --> 00:46:43.030
that the natural man is an enemy to God. And

00:46:43.030 --> 00:46:44.929
to me, where that applies here is just it doesn't

00:46:44.929 --> 00:46:46.969
have to be that's an enemy to God, but that subconscious

00:46:46.969 --> 00:46:49.730
or that natural man or those natural tendencies

00:46:49.730 --> 00:46:53.969
that we have can take us down darker paths. But

00:46:53.969 --> 00:46:57.289
when we realize that, like, okay, 95 % is subconscious.

00:46:57.650 --> 00:47:01.050
Well, I am going to have to work every day to

00:47:01.050 --> 00:47:04.250
overcome where my mind might naturally go to

00:47:04.250 --> 00:47:06.349
start making that shift and seeing it differently,

00:47:06.530 --> 00:47:09.369
recognizing that there's a part of me that wants

00:47:09.369 --> 00:47:12.239
to. do something else or be an idiot right or

00:47:12.239 --> 00:47:14.579
whatever it is like lots of things that are that

00:47:14.579 --> 00:47:18.260
way um and the recognition can help us and i

00:47:18.260 --> 00:47:20.639
i do think i mean i probably said the question

00:47:20.639 --> 00:47:22.980
of poorly but i agree that like it's every day

00:47:22.980 --> 00:47:26.039
we have to do it every day right um it's it's

00:47:26.039 --> 00:47:27.840
always going to be something we want to pay attention

00:47:27.840 --> 00:47:31.260
to and shift uh because if not if we get lazy

00:47:31.260 --> 00:47:34.480
um and we stop paying attention to those things

00:47:34.480 --> 00:47:36.139
and it's going to be really easy for us to fall

00:47:36.139 --> 00:47:38.570
down that path of what the subconscious is pulling

00:47:38.570 --> 00:47:40.630
us to or what the natural man is pulling us to,

00:47:40.670 --> 00:47:44.210
right? Okay, so jumping back to Inside Out, okay?

00:47:44.769 --> 00:47:47.989
So part of what happens here then is, you know,

00:47:48.090 --> 00:47:51.150
Riley's got these emotions she's battling back

00:47:51.150 --> 00:47:53.829
and forth. And I want you to talk a little bit

00:47:53.829 --> 00:47:56.949
about, in just a second here, about interplay

00:47:56.949 --> 00:47:59.230
at the end between joy and sadness, which I think

00:47:59.230 --> 00:48:00.969
is really maybe the most beautiful part of the

00:48:00.969 --> 00:48:03.389
story. But the exchange with Riley and her parents

00:48:03.389 --> 00:48:06.130
is this towards the end. when it's finally all

00:48:06.130 --> 00:48:08.230
coming out, right? She finally stops having to

00:48:08.230 --> 00:48:09.769
say that she's fine and act like everything's

00:48:09.769 --> 00:48:11.989
okay because she ran away. She was going to go

00:48:11.989 --> 00:48:13.849
back to Minnesota, right? So here's what she

00:48:13.849 --> 00:48:16.590
says when she's talking to him. She's like, I

00:48:16.590 --> 00:48:20.190
know you don't want me to, but I miss home. I

00:48:20.190 --> 00:48:23.110
miss Minnesota. You need me to be happy, but

00:48:23.110 --> 00:48:25.570
I want my old friends and my hockey team. I want

00:48:25.570 --> 00:48:28.429
to go home. Please don't be mad. And mom says,

00:48:28.550 --> 00:48:30.789
oh, sweetie. Dad says, we're not mad. You know

00:48:30.789 --> 00:48:34.860
what? I miss Minnesota too. So, you know, it

00:48:34.860 --> 00:48:37.119
took them a while in the show to get to this

00:48:37.119 --> 00:48:38.480
point where they could have this interchange.

00:48:38.780 --> 00:48:43.519
But the open communication where once Riley felt

00:48:43.519 --> 00:48:48.079
safe to communicate it, then she could. And now

00:48:48.079 --> 00:48:50.900
her parents suddenly realize why why she's acting,

00:48:50.980 --> 00:48:52.820
why she's lashing out. And then they can have

00:48:52.820 --> 00:48:55.280
the exchange. And that's like, yeah, I miss Minnesota,

00:48:55.280 --> 00:48:58.599
too. Like, this is really hard. Now we can work

00:48:58.599 --> 00:49:00.519
on this together. Now we can experience this

00:49:00.519 --> 00:49:03.239
together. But in these moments, and I don't remember

00:49:03.239 --> 00:49:06.380
if it's right before this or right after, but

00:49:06.380 --> 00:49:10.760
you have the realization that joy comes to about

00:49:10.760 --> 00:49:15.860
embracing sadness. So talk to me about how that

00:49:15.860 --> 00:49:19.880
applies to your situation, all of our situations,

00:49:20.059 --> 00:49:22.539
how that helps us in life, understanding and

00:49:22.539 --> 00:49:25.380
realizing what that interplay and why both joy

00:49:25.380 --> 00:49:28.559
and sadness together are important. I love that.

00:49:28.679 --> 00:49:30.679
I love that. And then you're so right. It is

00:49:30.679 --> 00:49:34.659
a beautiful end really to the movie. And joy

00:49:34.659 --> 00:49:36.860
and sadness, they do work together. All of our

00:49:36.860 --> 00:49:40.480
emotions work together. And you can't feel joy

00:49:40.480 --> 00:49:45.900
without feeling sadness. And you can't feel excitement

00:49:45.900 --> 00:49:49.079
without feeling sadness. And so they're interchangeable

00:49:49.079 --> 00:49:54.460
and they both play a purpose in every story because

00:49:54.460 --> 00:49:59.440
every story brings. multiple emotions right as

00:49:59.440 --> 00:50:04.079
we have that um example in the movie so you know

00:50:04.079 --> 00:50:07.159
when when joy is embracing sadness in here what

00:50:07.159 --> 00:50:09.219
i what i find really interesting and why i think

00:50:09.219 --> 00:50:10.880
the movie did a nice job of displaying is because

00:50:10.880 --> 00:50:14.059
you had these like core memories right that she

00:50:14.059 --> 00:50:18.119
had that really had and one of them was her hockey

00:50:18.119 --> 00:50:20.960
team carrying her on their shoulders and celebrating

00:50:20.960 --> 00:50:23.260
her and that's all you saw at first was like

00:50:23.260 --> 00:50:28.000
this joyful memory of that then Once joy embraces

00:50:28.000 --> 00:50:31.559
sadness, you realize the whole story, which is

00:50:31.559 --> 00:50:34.619
that Riley missed the winning goal. Exactly.

00:50:35.059 --> 00:50:39.760
And she was sad. And, man, why am I emotional

00:50:39.760 --> 00:50:41.679
today? Grace, this one's really getting me today.

00:50:44.039 --> 00:50:46.219
You know, in those moments where she's experiencing

00:50:46.219 --> 00:50:48.460
what could have been just such extreme sadness

00:50:48.460 --> 00:50:51.079
for her, right? Like, lets her team down, right?

00:50:51.119 --> 00:50:53.800
Lets her parents down who, you know, find so

00:50:53.800 --> 00:50:56.369
much joy in her playing hockey. And instead,

00:50:56.710 --> 00:50:59.449
her team responds totally differently. And they

00:50:59.449 --> 00:51:02.289
embrace her. And they celebrate her. And now

00:51:02.289 --> 00:51:06.670
this moment of sadness and joy together becomes

00:51:06.670 --> 00:51:10.989
the core memory. And then once joy, the emotion

00:51:10.989 --> 00:51:13.809
joy inside of her head, realizes the interplay

00:51:13.809 --> 00:51:17.449
between the two and how that played so well together.

00:51:17.829 --> 00:51:20.849
Like you said, the sadness was necessary to experience

00:51:20.849 --> 00:51:22.630
the joy. She wouldn't have had so much joy had

00:51:22.630 --> 00:51:24.489
she not been experiencing something so hard.

00:51:24.969 --> 00:51:27.750
now it's joyful because this is embracing her

00:51:27.750 --> 00:51:29.530
giving her the sense of belonging it becomes

00:51:29.530 --> 00:51:32.130
this really beautiful thing and to some degree

00:51:32.130 --> 00:51:36.190
that's kind of what i hear in your story is you

00:51:36.190 --> 00:51:42.130
had this really sad difficult tragic thing with

00:51:42.130 --> 00:51:44.050
these complex emotions you have to experience

00:51:44.050 --> 00:51:47.349
and it becomes part of your story and it becomes

00:51:47.349 --> 00:51:50.389
part of what leads to joy and the life that you're

00:51:50.389 --> 00:51:53.070
building you can't you can't have all of the

00:51:53.070 --> 00:51:55.429
things without embracing the whole picture the

00:51:55.429 --> 00:51:57.789
whole landscape of what you've experienced exactly

00:51:57.789 --> 00:52:02.889
and i think it just it's a really maybe it's

00:52:02.889 --> 00:52:07.510
a big example right but but again we all have

00:52:07.510 --> 00:52:10.590
it and if we all realize in those moments that

00:52:10.590 --> 00:52:12.889
we can look at our full story and embrace the

00:52:12.889 --> 00:52:15.809
complex emotions that are there and use that

00:52:15.809 --> 00:52:18.670
mind shift if that happened for me so that I

00:52:18.670 --> 00:52:22.849
can now experience joy. Exactly. So what, for

00:52:22.849 --> 00:52:25.230
you, what are like, what are the greatest moments

00:52:25.230 --> 00:52:29.070
of joy that you experience? Well, the greatest

00:52:29.070 --> 00:52:32.190
moments of joy I experience is when I have shared

00:52:32.190 --> 00:52:34.050
experiences really with the people that I love.

00:52:35.070 --> 00:52:38.909
So good. It's so good, right? When I'm in new

00:52:38.909 --> 00:52:42.329
places that I love, just experiencing new things,

00:52:42.449 --> 00:52:44.670
new places. I love travel. I've learned that

00:52:44.670 --> 00:52:48.219
I love. travel and playing and i never used to

00:52:48.219 --> 00:52:52.659
which is so funny yeah yeah uh -huh yeah when

00:52:52.659 --> 00:52:54.679
when you're willing to try new things you start

00:52:54.679 --> 00:52:58.039
discovering exactly that's exactly yeah good

00:52:58.039 --> 00:53:02.699
okay so um we're gonna circle back uh at the

00:53:02.699 --> 00:53:04.079
end for some final thoughts but i want to hit

00:53:04.079 --> 00:53:05.840
a couple of quick fun segments let's do it yeah

00:53:05.840 --> 00:53:07.820
for it let's do it okay we're gonna first one

00:53:07.820 --> 00:53:10.619
we're gonna hit is a this or that okay so They

00:53:10.619 --> 00:53:12.739
might not be easy answers. Okay. And we're going

00:53:12.739 --> 00:53:14.860
to make you answer anyways, Grace. Let's do it.

00:53:14.860 --> 00:53:16.420
Okay. You ready, heart? Let's do it. Okay. The

00:53:16.420 --> 00:53:19.139
first one. This is a hard one. Joy or sadness?

00:53:21.179 --> 00:53:25.500
I can't say both, can I? You can't. You have

00:53:25.500 --> 00:53:27.940
to choose one or the other. Joy or sadness? I'm

00:53:27.940 --> 00:53:31.380
going to choose sadness. Okay. Okay. Tell me

00:53:31.380 --> 00:53:33.119
more. Usually I just go quick, but I want to

00:53:33.119 --> 00:53:35.820
hear more. Tell me more. I say sadness because

00:53:35.820 --> 00:53:40.309
I truly am a firm believer that... if you are

00:53:40.309 --> 00:53:43.429
willing to feel the sadness you are going to

00:53:43.429 --> 00:53:46.230
feel the joy so much greater and so you can't

00:53:46.230 --> 00:53:48.909
have a great amount of joy without sadness okay

00:53:48.909 --> 00:53:53.210
beautiful answer beautiful answer um okay so

00:53:53.210 --> 00:53:57.909
within the world of inside out um headquarters

00:53:57.909 --> 00:54:06.239
or long -term memory headquarters okay yeah Long

00:54:06.239 --> 00:54:08.760
-term memory is fine. Yeah. Exactly. Give me

00:54:08.760 --> 00:54:11.920
that fun. Yeah. Okay. I don't know if you've

00:54:11.920 --> 00:54:13.219
been to both these places, but we're going to

00:54:13.219 --> 00:54:14.760
throw it anyways because it applies to the movie.

00:54:15.059 --> 00:54:19.119
San Francisco or Minnesota? San Francisco. Okay.

00:54:19.159 --> 00:54:21.519
You've been to San Francisco? Not San Francisco,

00:54:21.559 --> 00:54:25.219
but I've been to Minnesota. That's enough. You're

00:54:25.219 --> 00:54:27.019
like, that's enough. That's enough. San Francisco

00:54:27.019 --> 00:54:30.719
for sure. Okay. That's fair. I've only ever been

00:54:30.719 --> 00:54:32.719
through the airport in Minnesota. Nice. And it

00:54:32.719 --> 00:54:34.800
was fine. Yeah. But like, I've been to San Francisco.

00:54:35.230 --> 00:54:36.929
Yeah. And the food is great. Exactly. That's

00:54:36.929 --> 00:54:39.349
what I've heard. Great seafood. Exactly. I'm

00:54:39.349 --> 00:54:41.570
a Niners fan. I love it. So I'm like, give me

00:54:41.570 --> 00:54:43.070
some San Francisco. We know technically it's

00:54:43.070 --> 00:54:45.289
in Santa Clara, but whatever. It's still the

00:54:45.289 --> 00:54:49.690
greater San Francisco area. Okay. Gym day or

00:54:49.690 --> 00:54:52.829
rest day? Gym day. Yeah. I mean, I was like,

00:54:52.849 --> 00:54:54.610
that's going to be the answer for sure. Okay.

00:54:56.010 --> 00:55:00.429
How about this one? Open house or closing day?

00:55:02.039 --> 00:55:03.820
Closing day. Yeah, because it's like this big

00:55:03.820 --> 00:55:05.539
celebration and they're closing on their house.

00:55:05.659 --> 00:55:07.460
Yeah, but it's also so bittersweet. You know,

00:55:07.480 --> 00:55:09.760
I tell my clients, I'm like, yeah, I'm like,

00:55:09.760 --> 00:55:11.820
I'm super happy for you. And we've been talking

00:55:11.820 --> 00:55:13.780
every day for the last three months and I'm kind

00:55:13.780 --> 00:55:16.719
of sad. Isn't that interesting? Joy and sadness

00:55:16.719 --> 00:55:19.219
in one. Joy and sadness in one, you see? Yes.

00:55:19.260 --> 00:55:21.559
It shows up all the time. It does. It shows up.

00:55:22.039 --> 00:55:29.400
Okay. New listing or new construction? New listing.

00:55:30.039 --> 00:55:32.039
Okay. New listings. It's really exciting, I'm

00:55:32.039 --> 00:55:36.039
sure. Good. Good. Iowa summers or Utah summers?

00:55:36.840 --> 00:55:40.000
Utah summers. Let's have some good summers. Yeah.

00:55:40.860 --> 00:55:43.980
We do. I didn't ask Utah winter or Iowa winter

00:55:43.980 --> 00:55:46.719
because I'm assuming it's got to be Utah. But

00:55:46.719 --> 00:55:48.179
that's because I'm ignorant and I don't know

00:55:48.179 --> 00:55:49.440
Iowa at all. It just seems like it's really cold

00:55:49.440 --> 00:55:52.099
and there's not a lot to do. Exactly. Yes. And

00:55:52.099 --> 00:55:54.260
the snow is different because it's more slushy

00:55:54.260 --> 00:55:56.639
and icy there where it's like more powdery here.

00:55:57.119 --> 00:55:59.860
It wasn't super snowy. You didn't get a good

00:55:59.860 --> 00:56:02.239
one. You got a terrible winter. We didn't show

00:56:02.239 --> 00:56:03.980
out well. Grace will be better next year. Okay.

00:56:04.300 --> 00:56:06.579
We'll show you a better winter this next year.

00:56:06.659 --> 00:56:09.539
So you can try your hand at snowboarding or something.

00:56:10.820 --> 00:56:13.119
Okay. I have no idea if this is stuff you do

00:56:13.119 --> 00:56:14.739
or not, but we're going to give it a shot because

00:56:14.739 --> 00:56:17.500
you seem adventurous. Skydiving or scuba diving?

00:56:17.940 --> 00:56:20.280
Skydiving. You've been skydiving? So much fun.

00:56:20.460 --> 00:56:22.099
Oh my gosh. I was going to say that brings me

00:56:22.099 --> 00:56:24.400
joy. I was about to say that. It seems so wild.

00:56:24.659 --> 00:56:27.960
I just. Like of all the things that I could do,

00:56:28.119 --> 00:56:30.619
that's one where I'm like, no, I could actually

00:56:30.619 --> 00:56:32.679
die. I just don't think I could do it. So much

00:56:32.679 --> 00:56:35.159
fun. Oh, did you do it tandem? Because you have

00:56:35.159 --> 00:56:37.000
to at first, right? Until you do a certain number,

00:56:37.079 --> 00:56:39.059
you can't do it solo. Yeah, exactly. But you

00:56:39.059 --> 00:56:41.940
loved it. Yeah. Uh -huh. Maybe one day I will.

00:56:41.940 --> 00:56:44.980
Maybe one day. Okay, the last list of that. Beach

00:56:44.980 --> 00:56:52.059
trip or mountain trip? For the first, like, 18

00:56:52.059 --> 00:56:55.869
years of my life. 20. 20. Years of my life, I

00:56:55.869 --> 00:57:00.170
would say beach. But I just got home from Florida

00:57:00.170 --> 00:57:02.150
and I now live in Utah and I think I would actually

00:57:02.150 --> 00:57:05.530
say mountain now. Wow. Yeah. Okay. There's more

00:57:05.530 --> 00:57:07.750
to do. It's like adventurous. There's so beautiful

00:57:07.750 --> 00:57:10.969
things to see. I mean, you're not wrong. Do you

00:57:10.969 --> 00:57:14.710
surf at all? No. I don't either. I'm going to

00:57:14.710 --> 00:57:19.409
learn. I would love to learn too. Yeah. I'm really

00:57:19.409 --> 00:57:21.949
torn on it too because like the beach is great,

00:57:22.050 --> 00:57:26.010
but I'm not like. me lay out and get tan because

00:57:26.010 --> 00:57:28.590
right dude like we don't do that right like man

00:57:28.590 --> 00:57:30.269
i can go get in the water and i can build a sand

00:57:30.269 --> 00:57:32.130
castle with the kids but like then it's like

00:57:32.130 --> 00:57:33.809
that's it i'm like i'm good like i spent a couple

00:57:33.809 --> 00:57:36.070
hours and i'm good whereas you're right in the

00:57:36.070 --> 00:57:38.929
mountains there is a ton to do totally fish you

00:57:38.929 --> 00:57:42.769
can hike you can explore i just did a trip with

00:57:42.769 --> 00:57:46.250
my boys um and and the youth in our neighborhood

00:57:46.250 --> 00:57:49.070
and we did canyon airing okay fun which was amazing

00:57:49.070 --> 00:57:51.650
like rappelling and like all this crazy cool

00:57:51.650 --> 00:57:54.389
stuff so yeah i mean okay look you got a good

00:57:54.389 --> 00:57:56.590
point okay i know you got a good point i can't

00:57:56.590 --> 00:57:58.170
believe i'm saying i still do love the beach

00:57:58.170 --> 00:58:00.090
where in florida did you go uh we're in fort

00:58:00.090 --> 00:58:02.389
myers this past time okay fort myers yeah good

00:58:02.389 --> 00:58:04.750
so you experienced this amazing beach yes um

00:58:04.750 --> 00:58:06.869
okay here's their rapid fire okay are you ready

00:58:06.869 --> 00:58:09.960
for these i know like Whatever first comes to

00:58:09.960 --> 00:58:12.000
your mind. Okay, let's do it. We might judge

00:58:12.000 --> 00:58:13.800
you. We won't judge you. We won't judge. We embrace

00:58:13.800 --> 00:58:15.619
all answers. Yeah. Because the questions are

00:58:15.619 --> 00:58:17.400
set up that way. Exactly. Favorite Disney movie?

00:58:18.340 --> 00:58:22.260
Frozen. Isn't it a good one? I love Frozen. That's

00:58:22.260 --> 00:58:24.619
kind of easy. You like Frozen 2? I do. So do

00:58:24.619 --> 00:58:27.280
I. Yeah, I do. I'm actually a little torn between

00:58:27.280 --> 00:58:29.500
the two. That's how much I like Frozen 2. Really?

00:58:29.500 --> 00:58:32.179
I love them both. That's interesting. I think

00:58:32.179 --> 00:58:34.000
that there's some additional complexities in

00:58:34.000 --> 00:58:35.860
character development you see, especially from

00:58:35.860 --> 00:58:39.639
Olaf and Kristoff. Totally. and then also from

00:58:39.639 --> 00:58:42.739
anna uh -huh where like anna comes into her own

00:58:42.739 --> 00:58:45.619
and then you see this nice interplay of christoph

00:58:45.619 --> 00:58:49.780
being really what's a very supportive mate right

00:58:49.780 --> 00:58:52.539
that he's not saving the day for her he's not

00:58:52.539 --> 00:58:54.099
he's actually just finding ways to support her

00:58:54.099 --> 00:58:55.900
and what she needs exactly it's a really beautiful

00:58:55.900 --> 00:58:58.860
relationship i agree i digress sorry i digress

00:58:58.860 --> 00:59:00.659
made a rapid fire and i'm sitting here giving

00:59:00.659 --> 00:59:03.780
big long explanations i'm sorry okay so uh next

00:59:03.780 --> 00:59:08.219
one favorite disney song wherever i i'll go Or

00:59:08.219 --> 00:59:11.320
where? Yes. How Far I'll Go? From Moana. Yes.

00:59:11.559 --> 00:59:14.480
Oh, love that song so much. So good. Yeah. Do

00:59:14.480 --> 00:59:16.420
you like Lin -Manuel Miranda? Mm -hmm. Okay.

00:59:16.559 --> 00:59:19.500
Mm -hmm. Obsessed. Totally obsessed. I love him.

00:59:19.639 --> 00:59:22.920
I love... The song really is a very beautiful

00:59:22.920 --> 00:59:26.360
song. And going and seeing the live action Moana

00:59:26.360 --> 00:59:30.019
that just came out, it just reminded me how good

00:59:30.019 --> 00:59:32.739
that song really is. Mm -hmm. You know, it just

00:59:32.739 --> 00:59:37.889
captures so much of, like, wanting to... Be called

00:59:37.889 --> 00:59:40.090
to something greater. Exactly. Which you've experienced,

00:59:40.190 --> 00:59:43.469
right? That's why I love it. And trying to not

00:59:43.469 --> 00:59:45.909
underestimate yourself and what you're capable

00:59:45.909 --> 00:59:47.849
of. Exactly. Oh, it's such a beautiful song.

00:59:47.849 --> 00:59:53.449
So good. Okay, favorite Disney princess? I know

00:59:53.449 --> 00:59:55.389
I already said Frozen, but I really love Elsa.

00:59:55.630 --> 00:59:57.989
You can totally say Elsa. Yeah, I'm like, I love

00:59:57.989 --> 00:59:59.989
Elsa. That is an acceptable answer. Look, she's

00:59:59.989 --> 01:00:01.389
got two killer songs, right? I know. We're talking

01:00:01.389 --> 01:00:02.650
about Frozen 1 and Frozen 2. You gotta let it

01:00:02.650 --> 01:00:05.090
go and you get into the end now. Exactly. Dina

01:00:05.090 --> 01:00:07.469
Menzel, girl's got some pipes. So good, I know.

01:00:07.630 --> 01:00:10.690
She's got some pipes. That's a good answer. Favorite

01:00:10.690 --> 01:00:16.130
Disney hero or heroine? Simba. Simba. Yeah. That's

01:00:16.130 --> 01:00:17.889
a good one. I know. Simba's fun. I was like,

01:00:17.889 --> 01:00:19.969
that one's easy. Now you, I mean, you weren't

01:00:19.969 --> 01:00:21.489
even alive, I'm sure, when the first one came

01:00:21.489 --> 01:00:24.210
out, right? But the live, well, I guess it's

01:00:24.210 --> 01:00:25.969
not really live action because they're not real.

01:00:26.230 --> 01:00:28.369
Still CG, but it feels like it's real. Is that

01:00:28.369 --> 01:00:29.750
the one that you are familiar with and you've

01:00:29.750 --> 01:00:32.980
seen? Yeah. Yeah, which is really good. simba

01:00:32.980 --> 01:00:35.280
simba's great he's got a great like hero's journey

01:00:35.280 --> 01:00:38.340
he does he does and what he experiences again

01:00:38.340 --> 01:00:40.380
coming back like he had to realize who he was

01:00:40.380 --> 01:00:44.860
forgot it lost it no had to have mufasa uh remind

01:00:44.860 --> 01:00:48.380
him yeah uh we just had in fact that book right

01:00:48.380 --> 01:00:51.800
there my pride we just had him on alton he was

01:00:51.800 --> 01:00:54.099
on just this last week with us he played mufasa

01:00:54.099 --> 01:00:57.400
on broadway oh no way more than 4 000 performances

01:00:57.400 --> 01:01:00.380
uh and it's just like yeah the lion king is such

01:01:00.380 --> 01:01:03.309
a beautiful story uh and the role that mufasa

01:01:03.309 --> 01:01:06.230
plays in helping to guide his son even from beyond

01:01:06.230 --> 01:01:09.690
and helping simba realize like who can become

01:01:09.690 --> 01:01:14.329
oh i love the story okay um i don't know have

01:01:14.329 --> 01:01:18.329
you been to disneyland not disneyland world okay

01:01:18.329 --> 01:01:20.710
we'll go disney world favorite ride at disney

01:01:20.710 --> 01:01:29.150
world that's a good question i know there's so

01:01:29.150 --> 01:01:32.289
many good ones Which park do you, have you been

01:01:32.289 --> 01:01:34.550
to all the parks or only some of them? Only some

01:01:34.550 --> 01:01:36.190
of them. Okay. I don't know what it was. There's

01:01:36.190 --> 01:01:38.630
Magic Kingdom that has the castle. Yeah. Animal

01:01:38.630 --> 01:01:40.130
Kingdom, right, where you see all the animals.

01:01:40.730 --> 01:01:43.309
Epcot with Big Ball. Yeah. Right. And then Hollywood

01:01:43.309 --> 01:01:46.409
Studios, which might be a controversial opinion.

01:01:46.610 --> 01:01:48.130
That one's okay for me. Yeah, totally. Because

01:01:48.130 --> 01:01:50.070
I'm more of a Disneyland guy, so I've seen most

01:01:50.070 --> 01:01:52.929
of those things there. I love Epcot because it's

01:01:52.929 --> 01:01:54.630
totally different. There's nothing like that

01:01:54.630 --> 01:01:57.090
at Disneyland out here out west. So, like, I

01:01:57.090 --> 01:01:58.650
love Epcot. I don't think I've been at that one.

01:01:59.050 --> 01:02:00.989
So, that's what. That's what I got to do. Next

01:02:00.989 --> 01:02:04.190
time you go, this is what you got to do. You

01:02:04.190 --> 01:02:06.610
got to go to Epcot. Epcot. And you have to do

01:02:06.610 --> 01:02:08.610
the Guardians ride that's there. Okay. It is

01:02:08.610 --> 01:02:12.349
unbelievable. Deal. It's really, it's pretty

01:02:12.349 --> 01:02:15.090
new. I believe it costs more than a billion dollars

01:02:15.090 --> 01:02:17.309
just to make that singular ride. Interesting.

01:02:17.469 --> 01:02:20.510
And worth it. Amazing. Okay. Alrighty. I want

01:02:20.510 --> 01:02:22.070
to hear a report afterward. Okay. I'll tell you.

01:02:22.210 --> 01:02:23.909
See if you love it as much as I think you will.

01:02:23.969 --> 01:02:27.599
Okay. Favorite Disney villain. Ooh. This one's

01:02:27.599 --> 01:02:29.280
a little harder. This one is a little bit harder.

01:02:30.519 --> 01:02:33.239
Give me a few to choose from. Once I hear a lot

01:02:33.239 --> 01:02:35.940
of Scar from Lion King, we get Maleficent all

01:02:35.940 --> 01:02:39.099
the time. People love Maleficent. I don't really

01:02:39.099 --> 01:02:41.280
love her as much. She's okay. You get Ursula

01:02:41.280 --> 01:02:43.079
a lot from Little Mermaid. That's a good one.

01:02:43.079 --> 01:02:44.539
She's a really popular one. Yeah, that's a good

01:02:44.539 --> 01:02:46.659
one. What do you think? Ursula. Ursula. Yeah,

01:02:46.760 --> 01:02:49.699
totally. Her song's great. I know. Her song is

01:02:49.699 --> 01:02:52.480
so good. I know. And she's kind of like... I

01:02:52.480 --> 01:02:54.159
mean, she's a little bit misunderstood. Obviously,

01:02:54.280 --> 01:02:55.820
she's got terrible things about her, but, like,

01:02:55.860 --> 01:02:57.199
she's a little misunderstood, right? Totally.

01:02:57.519 --> 01:03:00.179
Exactly. She's making a contract, okay? Exactly.

01:03:00.480 --> 01:03:02.780
Ariel agreed to this contract. True. Maybe she

01:03:02.780 --> 01:03:04.059
was a minor. Exactly. Maybe she didn't actually

01:03:04.059 --> 01:03:07.239
agree, but it's fine. You had her agree. That's

01:03:07.239 --> 01:03:11.300
super fun. Okay. Which inside -out emotion do

01:03:11.300 --> 01:03:14.880
you relate to the most? I would say at this point

01:03:14.880 --> 01:03:17.380
in my life, joy. Good. That's a good answer.

01:03:17.539 --> 01:03:18.840
Yeah. I love to hear that, too. Yeah, me too.

01:03:18.840 --> 01:03:21.360
I'm glad to hear that. Favorite city to visit?

01:03:22.059 --> 01:03:29.599
Ooh, favorite city to visit. Recently, I've been

01:03:29.599 --> 01:03:32.900
loving Scottsdale to visit. Interesting. Tell

01:03:32.900 --> 01:03:35.059
me what you like doing in Scottsdale. There's

01:03:35.059 --> 01:03:37.920
just a lot going on. There's good food. I have

01:03:37.920 --> 01:03:40.440
friends that live there. I love the dry heat,

01:03:40.579 --> 01:03:43.900
the vibes. It's just great. Scottsdale is pretty

01:03:43.900 --> 01:03:46.539
good. Yeah, and it's close to here. There is

01:03:46.539 --> 01:03:50.320
really great food. Do you ever, do you ever fly

01:03:50.320 --> 01:03:52.480
out of the Provo airport to go there? It's cheap.

01:03:52.599 --> 01:03:54.500
It's so cheap. It's like a hundred bucks. How

01:03:54.500 --> 01:03:56.360
do I not? Exactly. How do I not do this? Right.

01:03:56.420 --> 01:03:59.400
It's amazing. Uh, favorite food. Favorite food.

01:03:59.639 --> 01:04:04.420
Ooh. Um, well back home we have these, um, amazing

01:04:04.420 --> 01:04:07.559
cinnamon rolls. So those are like my favorite

01:04:07.559 --> 01:04:09.519
thing ever. Comfort food right there. Totally.

01:04:09.960 --> 01:04:12.960
Yeah. I can dig some cinnamon rolls. Yeah. So

01:04:12.960 --> 01:04:18.139
good. Um, okay. Um, Here's the next two. They

01:04:18.139 --> 01:04:20.300
might not be so rapid fire, but we're going to

01:04:20.300 --> 01:04:23.239
ask them anyways. How are you saying yes and

01:04:23.239 --> 01:04:26.300
in your life right now? Oh, I love that question.

01:04:27.679 --> 01:04:33.260
How I'm saying yes and is yes, I'm super happy

01:04:33.260 --> 01:04:36.199
with where I'm at in my life and how far I've

01:04:36.199 --> 01:04:41.039
come. And I'm excited to learn more, to grow

01:04:41.039 --> 01:04:44.260
more, and to continue becoming the best version

01:04:44.260 --> 01:04:46.440
of myself. love the mindset love the attitude

01:04:46.440 --> 01:04:50.239
amazing what is a question that i should have

01:04:50.239 --> 01:04:53.960
asked you about your story about inside out about

01:04:53.960 --> 01:04:56.440
anything that i didn't question that you should

01:04:56.440 --> 01:05:04.139
have asked me that's a good question a lot of

01:05:04.139 --> 01:05:06.880
times what i find is uh with the movies especially

01:05:06.880 --> 01:05:09.679
my guests almost always will watch the movie

01:05:09.679 --> 01:05:12.179
before and then i kind of get into a groove and

01:05:12.179 --> 01:05:14.670
then i like i move past something they really

01:05:14.670 --> 01:05:17.409
want to talk about with a movie or some part

01:05:17.409 --> 01:05:19.389
of their story that i just didn't think to ask

01:05:19.389 --> 01:05:20.889
or get to was there anything like that and if

01:05:20.889 --> 01:05:24.769
not totally good totally um well what i would

01:05:24.769 --> 01:05:32.269
just say um is maybe oh gosh this is a great

01:05:32.269 --> 01:05:36.429
question um i guess when i moved here um you

01:05:36.429 --> 01:05:38.869
know what i actually felt in that moment is what

01:05:38.869 --> 01:05:41.219
i would say okay so tell us What did you feel?

01:05:41.340 --> 01:05:48.079
So it was so interesting when I moved here. Leaving

01:05:48.079 --> 01:05:51.320
because I wasn't super sad, you know, when I

01:05:51.320 --> 01:05:53.500
was getting ready to leave. But I do remember

01:05:53.500 --> 01:05:56.380
like the morning I left home was like the hardest

01:05:56.380 --> 01:05:59.019
thing I've ever done. You know, it was a whirlwind

01:05:59.019 --> 01:06:01.079
of emotions because I had to take my Utah real

01:06:01.079 --> 01:06:03.460
estate exam that morning because that was the

01:06:03.460 --> 01:06:05.940
only opening. Oh, my goodness. So I wanted to

01:06:05.940 --> 01:06:09.199
do it before I left. Yeah. and then saying goodbye

01:06:09.199 --> 01:06:12.619
to my family and everything I've known. And then,

01:06:12.619 --> 01:06:15.679
you know, two hours into the drive, I felt the

01:06:15.679 --> 01:06:18.360
most free that I ever had. Like, I just felt

01:06:18.360 --> 01:06:20.300
like, oh my gosh, like I could just like see

01:06:20.300 --> 01:06:22.199
my future unfolding in front of me. It was wild.

01:06:22.719 --> 01:06:26.239
And then what's funny is I ended up like getting

01:06:26.239 --> 01:06:29.840
a little bit sick. So it was just interesting

01:06:29.840 --> 01:06:34.139
to like, just feel, you know, stuff releasing.

01:06:35.099 --> 01:06:37.440
You know, and then I had an ultimate hack and

01:06:37.440 --> 01:06:41.059
went to a meditation retreat. And that was amazing.

01:06:41.260 --> 01:06:43.440
And that was amazing. And then I just went all

01:06:43.440 --> 01:06:47.699
in into my life here in Utah. My goodness. So

01:06:47.699 --> 01:06:50.260
some really complex emotions. Totally. Yeah,

01:06:50.300 --> 01:06:52.619
it wasn't like it was just this like singular

01:06:52.619 --> 01:06:54.480
thing you're experiencing. It wasn't this unilateral

01:06:54.480 --> 01:06:57.619
thing you're experiencing. It's like the longing

01:06:57.619 --> 01:06:59.619
of what you're leaving. It's the nostalgia of

01:06:59.619 --> 01:07:02.119
what was there, the sadness you're leaving, excitement,

01:07:02.179 --> 01:07:06.590
joy. sick your body's like okay i'm experiencing

01:07:06.590 --> 01:07:07.849
all these things i'm a little sick right now

01:07:07.849 --> 01:07:10.590
yeah exactly meditation get the release yeah

01:07:10.590 --> 01:07:12.750
process stuff yeah rotation retreat i'm sure

01:07:12.750 --> 01:07:16.449
yeah yeah and so it it just kind of goes to show

01:07:16.449 --> 01:07:19.889
like you can feel all things at once and emotions

01:07:19.889 --> 01:07:22.150
are just temporary they're just showing you what's

01:07:22.150 --> 01:07:25.190
alive and you just need to feel them to pass

01:07:25.190 --> 01:07:27.869
and let them go It's beautiful. I'm glad you

01:07:27.869 --> 01:07:30.590
asked that question to yourself. Thank you. Yeah,

01:07:30.590 --> 01:07:32.269
of course. I was like, I need to think about

01:07:32.269 --> 01:07:34.150
this. That's a good one. Yeah. Because I wasn't

01:07:34.150 --> 01:07:35.630
smart enough to ask that. It was great. It's

01:07:35.630 --> 01:07:38.010
fantastic. Yeah. Okay. So what we like to do

01:07:38.010 --> 01:07:41.250
at the end of every episode is have our guests

01:07:41.250 --> 01:07:44.550
share what we call three actionable takeaways.

01:07:44.690 --> 01:07:47.429
And the design is three specific things that

01:07:47.429 --> 01:07:51.909
somebody could do today or this week to put into

01:07:51.909 --> 01:07:54.949
practice. the things that we talked about, what

01:07:54.949 --> 01:07:57.210
would your three actionable takeaways be? Yeah.

01:07:57.590 --> 01:08:01.670
Well, the first thing I would say is to, if you

01:08:01.670 --> 01:08:04.070
notice you have any emotions that you're suppressing

01:08:04.070 --> 01:08:07.969
or not feeling, my one first action step would

01:08:07.969 --> 01:08:11.650
be to just get curious about it. Just dive in.

01:08:11.730 --> 01:08:15.929
What's the worst that could happen? Second would

01:08:15.929 --> 01:08:21.609
be maybe to do a mini thought audit. If you,

01:08:23.279 --> 01:08:25.319
Pay attention to the things that you're telling

01:08:25.319 --> 01:08:27.819
yourself and you realize you're in a place of

01:08:27.819 --> 01:08:32.100
I'm not going to do this or I'm scared. The words

01:08:32.100 --> 01:08:35.760
I am are so powerful. So just maybe pay attention

01:08:35.760 --> 01:08:38.699
to what's following the I am. And if you notice

01:08:38.699 --> 01:08:42.720
you're in a place of doubt, shift it into belief

01:08:42.720 --> 01:08:47.399
and just see what happens. Fantastic. And then

01:08:47.399 --> 01:08:56.810
my third thing, what I would say is. to do things

01:08:56.810 --> 01:09:00.329
that make you happy. Find things that you enjoy

01:09:00.329 --> 01:09:02.810
to do and just get to know yourself and what

01:09:02.810 --> 01:09:05.550
you love to do and what makes you happy. Notice

01:09:05.550 --> 01:09:08.890
the people that you like to be around. Just,

01:09:09.090 --> 01:09:13.050
yeah. I do think it's really easy in life to

01:09:13.050 --> 01:09:15.670
just get really busy. Totally. And then you have

01:09:15.670 --> 01:09:18.819
those things that... Either you know, do, and

01:09:18.819 --> 01:09:21.579
you just haven't done for a long time. Or you've

01:09:21.579 --> 01:09:24.539
gotten so busy that you forgot to eat. Exactly.

01:09:25.279 --> 01:09:28.979
And it doesn't mean a wholesale abandonment of

01:09:28.979 --> 01:09:31.680
who you are to go do that happy thing. Sometimes

01:09:31.680 --> 01:09:35.479
it's not even huge things. For me, I found like,

01:09:35.579 --> 01:09:38.159
I really enjoy golfing. Exactly. I can't golf

01:09:38.159 --> 01:09:41.239
all the time. I can't go every day, right? I

01:09:41.239 --> 01:09:43.699
maybe can't even go every week. But when I found

01:09:43.699 --> 01:09:47.329
times to do it, it's that. little bit of release

01:09:47.329 --> 01:09:49.989
for me that's just i actually forget about everything

01:09:49.989 --> 01:09:52.890
else so it's funny my wife will ask me like what

01:09:52.890 --> 01:09:55.229
you guys talk about you talk about so -and -so's

01:09:55.229 --> 01:09:57.229
life or their kids or their job like no nope

01:09:57.229 --> 01:09:59.729
just talked about golf exactly like we literally

01:09:59.729 --> 01:10:02.329
just lived in the moment and i freaking had a

01:10:02.329 --> 01:10:06.310
blast just golfing it's a great great suggestions

01:10:06.310 --> 01:10:08.829
there those are three terrific actual takeaways

01:10:08.829 --> 01:10:11.449
really appreciate you being on today uh being

01:10:11.449 --> 01:10:14.649
vulnerable to share who you are what your journey

01:10:14.649 --> 01:10:17.210
has been and to inspire so many other people

01:10:17.210 --> 01:10:21.149
out there on how they can, yes, embrace the things

01:10:21.149 --> 01:10:23.810
that have happened and build such a beautiful

01:10:23.810 --> 01:10:28.050
life. Just love that. Thank you. Yeah. As you

01:10:28.050 --> 01:10:31.010
leave this conversation, remember that yes, the

01:10:31.010 --> 01:10:33.630
past can hurt and you can either run from it

01:10:33.630 --> 01:10:36.750
or you can learn from it. So here's to learning

01:10:36.750 --> 01:10:40.109
and finding joy in the journey. See you real

01:10:40.109 --> 01:10:40.350
soon.