Sabrina Carpenter, Britney Spears & Radio Nostalgia

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the Moto Casino app today. What up, Hammer and

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Hank? How are you? How the fuck are you doing,

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buddy? I'm doing pretty fucking good. You just

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swore. All right, let's go. You're listening

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to The Hammer and Hank Show with Henry Oaks and

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Ryan Hoppy. The Hammer and Hank Show. What up,

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Hank? I'm doing pretty good, buddy. How are you?

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Good. How has your week been? I have not talked

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to you in seven days besides texting you. How

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are you? Extremely good. What have you been up

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to this week, bud? Reminiscing about the history

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of pop music with Graham and Selena. Wait, were

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you on air with Graham and Selena? I was on a

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Wild Farts podcast. Oh, you were this... Let

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me turn off the music. This music is so good.

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One second. It's got a legit... Make sure you

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listen back after. The music's so good. Alright.

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You were? How was it? Pretty good. Man, you're

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just a man around town, Hank. You're killing

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it. Thank you. What did you guys talk about?

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About jokes, pop music, and my national anthem.

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What is your national anthem? It's this. Excuse

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me. Is this Wednesday at the Modern Women Field

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in Modesto? Home of the Modesto Roadsters. Did

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you find a ride? Not yet. We're going to hit

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up Alex. Everybody's got connections. You're

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a well -connected man, Hank. I would say I get

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on that. I did not know that until now. You didn't

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know what? I'm a well -connected man until now.

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Good, you're on more radio shows than me. You're

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on Woody, you're on Wild 94 .1, JV and Selena,

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or Selena and Graham, rather. Rest in peace,

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JV. You're killing it, Hank. Thank you, buddy.

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You're welcome. What is your radio memory besides

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doing the podcast this week? My radio memory

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this week? Mm -hmm. It's when we talked about

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JV's life back in 2023. What? 2022, I'm sorry.

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It was February 2023, I believe. 2023, yep. Yes.

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We talked about J .B. Sive and how I had to run

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into the water if I dropped the bathroom to capture

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some chickens and hurt my ankle. Man, you were

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a warrior for that show. You did a lot, Hank.

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I'm proud of you. You're a legend. Mm -hmm. Thank

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you, buddy. Ah, you're welcome. Hammer and Hank,

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any other memories? Also, I won a radio contest

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from KLOK in San Jose way back in 1988. What

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did you win? A church cassette. How was that?

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What did you do with it? I had to... Be the first

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call to identify a song lyric. It was My Sweet

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Lord by George Harrison. How many radio contests

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did you win? A few. Man, you are just, you are

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a man around town. Always busy, Hank. Go, buddy.

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Eight, five. Oh, fuck. I forgot. I forgot to

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get the soccer jokes. But you're right, I will

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read the jokes for soccer. Let me get that real

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quick. But let me hit the music and we'll do

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the dirty jokes, okay? All right. A one, a second.

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Woke up this morning, spilled my coffee cup.

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Should have known today I'd have some messed

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up luck. Henry Oaks and Ryan Hoppy on the show.

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Making jokes so bad I can't help but glow. Hank

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says, why did the scarecrow get an award? Because

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he was outstanding in his field, oh Lord. Laughing

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so hard, I'm wheezing on the floor. Ryan's cranking

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tunes, we gotta hear some more. Hank's jokes

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got me chuckling. My sides hurt, I'm bumbling.

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All right, Hank, what are the jokes for this

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week? My face. Why did I bring a ladder on a

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date? Why? Because she said she likes guys who

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take things to the next level. Why do I always

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wear clown on the first date? Why do you always

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what? Work alone on the first date? Why? Because

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my personality needs all the help it can get.

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I don't agree with that, but it's an okay joke.

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Why did I invite... Why didn't you invite me

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over to watch a movie? Why? Because apparently

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nobody ever actually finished a movie. Because

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you're busy banging. Why did I... Buy extra breath

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mints. Why'd you buy breath mints? Because after

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this is free. Mm -hmm. Why'd I shave before...

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Why'd I shave before my first date? Why'd you

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shave before your first date, Hanky? Because

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hope springs eternal. Ah, geez. Why'd I ask if

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I wanted dessert? Why do you want dessert? Because

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she wanted to see if I could handle something

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sweet. Oh, yeah, I can see. Mm -hmm. Would I

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always clean my apartment before a date? Why,

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to get a blowjob? Because I'd hate for someone

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to think I live like this. Mm -hmm, mm -hmm.

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Would I put clean sheets on the bed? Why? Because

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confidence is important, and so is the fabric

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softener. Oh, yeah. Why do I love filtering so

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much? Why do you love what? Filtering so much.

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Why? Because it's the only sport where bad jokes

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can actually help. Why do I bring gum on my date?

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Why? Because I'd rather be overprepared than

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mindless and humiliated. That's a long one. And

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that's it for the jokes. All right, Hank. Mm

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-hmm. Let me do something real quick. We have

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a comment here. It says, Hank, I have been a

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fan of you since your first time on KCRH. Keep

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up the good work. We got a long -time listener,

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first -time teller, whatever it is. Hank, you're

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killing it, dude. You're a legend. You're the

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greatest of all time. You're the best. You ready?

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All right. Nobody's going to keep you down. You're

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the best. All right. All righty. Hanky, I am

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loading up something real quick, but everybody

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can leave us a voicemail. 856 -49 -HOPPY. It's

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856 -494 -6773. Hank, what is your Twitter? All

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right. All right. I got some soccer jokes. And

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also, I got this going right now in the club.

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Got some soccer music in the background. Here

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are the jokes, Hank. Okay, buddy. Why did the

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soccer player bring string to the game? I don't

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know, buddy. So he could tie the score. Why are

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soccer players great at doing chores? I don't

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know, buddy. Because they know how to sweep.

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Why did the soccer ball quit the team? I don't

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know. Because it was tired of getting kicked

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around. That's interesting. Why don't soccer

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players do well in school? I don't know. Because

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they spend too much time kicking back. I don't

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know. That's interesting. What tea do soccer

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players drink? I don't know. Penalty. I love

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it. I love it. Why was the soccer field always

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wet? I don't know. Because the players dribbled

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all over it. That's interesting. Get it? Like

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dribble? Like pee? Get it? Why do, what do soccer

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players eat before a big game? I don't know.

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Golden Grahams. Get it? Golden. I did eat Golden

00:10:03.620 --> 00:10:05.460
Grahams back in the day. Yeah, you did, bud.

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Why did the goalie bring a ladder? I don't know.

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He wanted to reach new heights. Why? That's interesting.

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Why? I love how that's your line. I'm sorry.

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It's interesting. That would be like going to

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a comedy show and being like, hey, Sam Morrell.

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That's interesting. Anyway. What do you call

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a soccer player who loves music? What is it?

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A golden oldie. I love oldies. Yeah, I know you

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do. Why was the soccer coach always calm? Why

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is the soccer coach always cold? Calm. Calm.

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Because he knew how to keep his goals in mind.

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That's interesting. Okay. I love you, dude. That

00:10:50.110 --> 00:10:51.789
should be the name of the episode. That's interesting.

00:10:52.149 --> 00:10:55.830
Hang it. It says right here. What are your opinions

00:10:55.830 --> 00:11:04.330
on MTV? It fucking sucks. I used to love watching

00:11:04.330 --> 00:11:06.590
MTV back in the days when they played nothing

00:11:06.590 --> 00:11:10.409
but rock videos and then rock concerts. And now

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it fucking sucks. What sucks about it? All those

00:11:15.330 --> 00:11:18.629
stupid ridiculousness episodes. Bro, I feel like

00:11:18.629 --> 00:11:21.649
they just put ridiculousness on for like... First

00:11:21.649 --> 00:11:24.090
of all, it was only on for like 11 years, but

00:11:24.090 --> 00:11:26.490
there were like over 400 episodes. So that was

00:11:26.490 --> 00:11:29.110
this new episode that was so cheap to make. It

00:11:29.110 --> 00:11:33.049
was just crazy. It was insanity. Yep, it sucks

00:11:33.049 --> 00:11:37.009
because that's the only way they can save money.

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Do you like jerseys? Because they don't want

00:11:41.269 --> 00:11:46.440
to... music videos anymore. Because they don't

00:11:46.440 --> 00:11:48.320
want to get confronted by the music industry.

00:11:48.840 --> 00:11:52.840
That is not a bad point. Hank, what do you think

00:11:52.840 --> 00:11:58.059
of Jersey Shore? I hate that show. No, I love

00:11:58.059 --> 00:12:01.399
Jersey Shore. It's great. There's a song called

00:12:01.399 --> 00:12:03.980
Offsets and Tracks by Paul Abdul. And what does

00:12:03.980 --> 00:12:06.960
it have to do with Jersey Shore, bud? A lot.

00:12:07.259 --> 00:12:10.220
No, no, no, boy. Yes, I hate Jersey Shore, and

00:12:10.220 --> 00:12:14.389
you love it. Oh, opposites attract. Got it. What

00:12:14.389 --> 00:12:21.049
is your take on the Stanley Cup? I think Carolina

00:12:21.049 --> 00:12:24.789
wins it all. I went to a game. So I would go

00:12:24.789 --> 00:12:28.490
to North Carolina for Thanksgiving in the 2000s

00:12:28.490 --> 00:12:32.149
and early 2010s. And we would usually go to like

00:12:32.149 --> 00:12:34.129
a Bobcats game, which is now the Hornets again.

00:12:34.269 --> 00:12:38.250
But in 2011, there was the NBA lockout for like

00:12:38.250 --> 00:12:41.149
a month. Didn't begin until Christmas. And I

00:12:41.149 --> 00:12:42.649
cannot believe that was 15 years ago. And we

00:12:42.649 --> 00:12:45.149
went to a Hurricanes game. So I'm rooting for

00:12:45.149 --> 00:12:49.169
them. Cool, buddy. That's what you always say.

00:12:49.549 --> 00:12:53.600
Hank, if I hit the music. Are you ready for trivia?

00:12:55.320 --> 00:13:23.980
Yes. Let me hit the music. Yeah, we bring in

00:13:23.980 --> 00:13:26.240
the heat. Get your knowledge up. Take a sneak.

00:13:27.820 --> 00:13:32.360
What is your trivia? One of the top ten hit records.

00:13:33.080 --> 00:13:37.200
Don't expect me to be your friend. Way back in

00:13:37.200 --> 00:13:41.159
1972. That is a mean song. The Doobie Brothers?

00:13:41.899 --> 00:13:45.000
Nope. Lobo. I've never heard of them. I know

00:13:45.000 --> 00:13:49.409
a RoboCop. We had the big hit record, Loop -D

00:13:49.409 --> 00:13:55.690
-Loop, back in 1962. The Beatles! Nope. Johnny

00:13:55.690 --> 00:13:57.970
Thunder. I've never heard of him. It was his

00:13:57.970 --> 00:14:02.950
only hit record. Sounds like a porn star. Who

00:14:02.950 --> 00:14:06.090
had the number one hair record? Next time I fall.

00:14:06.490 --> 00:14:10.529
It was the top ten hair record on the adult contemporary

00:14:10.529 --> 00:14:16.129
charts in 1986. Next time I fall. You are a real

00:14:16.129 --> 00:14:19.610
life Casey... What was the name of the guy? That

00:14:19.610 --> 00:14:22.529
was a terrible point. Casey Kasem. We got a Casey

00:14:22.529 --> 00:14:27.809
Kasem here. I don't know. Let me think. The Cars.

00:14:28.649 --> 00:14:33.000
Peter Cetera and Amy Grant. Who is the Madonna

00:14:33.000 --> 00:14:37.240
of gospel music? My mom listened to her. Hank,

00:14:37.460 --> 00:14:40.000
you do realize I was born in 1993, right? And

00:14:40.000 --> 00:14:42.059
don't really have memories till 98. Why don't

00:14:42.059 --> 00:14:45.360
you ever pick music from when I was alive? I

00:14:45.360 --> 00:14:50.240
don't know. Maybe next time. Who sang the song

00:14:50.240 --> 00:14:54.440
Hit Em Up Style in O -Line? Luke Cantrell. Who

00:14:54.440 --> 00:14:57.159
sang the song in 06 20 years ago, Promiscuous

00:14:57.159 --> 00:15:03.480
Girl? The Discus Girl? That would be, let me

00:15:03.480 --> 00:15:07.860
think. You got this. Nelly Ricardo. Good job.

00:15:08.940 --> 00:15:12.840
Who sang the, who, let me think here. Who rapped

00:15:12.840 --> 00:15:16.539
the song Lean With It, Rock With It? I don't

00:15:16.539 --> 00:15:19.240
know. Dumb Franchise. Dude, you don't know that.

00:15:19.600 --> 00:15:22.639
They probably played it on Wild. Anyway, Hammer

00:15:22.639 --> 00:15:26.639
and Hank, if I hit the music, are you ready for

00:15:26.639 --> 00:15:29.600
Buddy of the Week? Yes. We need some positivity

00:15:29.600 --> 00:15:37.440
in this club. Mm -hmm. Yo. Yo. Tune in to the

00:15:37.440 --> 00:15:40.240
show. It's Hammer and Hank. Mm -hmm. Autistic

00:15:40.240 --> 00:15:42.960
genius always keeping it dank. Henry Oaks on

00:15:42.960 --> 00:15:45.700
the mic. Hop, ride, and shotgun. Roll call for

00:15:45.700 --> 00:15:47.799
the buddies. We just having some fun. Buddy of

00:15:47.799 --> 00:15:50.620
the week. We gonna get the crown. Hank bringing

00:15:50.620 --> 00:16:03.559
smiles. Who's your buddy of the week? Deathlinks,

00:16:03.620 --> 00:16:06.600
Graham and Selena. What do they do to deserve

00:16:06.600 --> 00:16:09.759
to be buddies? And Jesse. They invited me on

00:16:09.759 --> 00:16:12.559
the Wild Thoughts podcast and also talk about

00:16:12.559 --> 00:16:23.720
music on Instagram. What was the best part about

00:16:23.720 --> 00:16:27.129
the segment? I don't know. The best part about

00:16:27.129 --> 00:16:31.110
the statement is we got to do whatever we want.

00:16:31.730 --> 00:16:38.149
I got Jack off to female pop artist. God, I love

00:16:38.149 --> 00:16:41.090
you. You come out of nowhere with this. You are

00:16:41.090 --> 00:16:47.710
just tanky. Now, when you're about to spank it,

00:16:47.830 --> 00:16:53.149
how do you get Smurfette to leave you alone?

00:16:55.240 --> 00:16:59.019
She goes for a walk. How often does she go for

00:16:59.019 --> 00:17:03.379
a walk? About 20 minutes. How long does it take

00:17:03.379 --> 00:17:07.759
you? About 20 minutes. Alright, me too. I got

00:17:07.759 --> 00:17:10.720
anxiety. Now, if I got blue balls from a date,

00:17:10.859 --> 00:17:14.480
it's a lot easier. I'm sure you got blue balls,

00:17:14.539 --> 00:17:16.880
you know, in that blowjob you got at Sound Factory.

00:17:17.759 --> 00:17:20.339
I got my dick sucked at the Sound Factory in

00:17:20.339 --> 00:17:26.480
1998. Hell yeah! Did she use teeth? A ton. Oh,

00:17:26.480 --> 00:17:28.900
God, it's the worst. It's all you Swifties and

00:17:28.900 --> 00:17:32.339
religious girls. I have her at Hank. I'm going

00:17:32.339 --> 00:17:34.660
to hit the music. Are you ready for Prick of

00:17:34.660 --> 00:17:40.680
the Week? All right. Do you have a prick? No,

00:17:40.680 --> 00:17:48.099
I don't. It's for Mark Apple. Who's that? Who

00:17:48.099 --> 00:17:55.480
approached us back in 2008. He let me go. Loser!

00:17:56.400 --> 00:18:00.880
No, not you. Mark Apple's a fucking loser. Yeah,

00:18:00.880 --> 00:18:04.839
he sounds like an absolute twat. What's he doing

00:18:04.839 --> 00:18:11.960
now? Picking his nose? Hi, nothing. He tried

00:18:11.960 --> 00:18:14.759
a website called whoscoyhiringme .com and it

00:18:14.759 --> 00:18:19.039
didn't do too well. Who's going to hire me? It's

00:18:19.039 --> 00:18:25.119
a terrible name for a website. What are your

00:18:25.119 --> 00:18:28.799
goals in life? Try to get back into commercial

00:18:28.799 --> 00:18:36.000
radio. We have this discussion. You do know you're

00:18:36.000 --> 00:18:38.519
on the Woody show. You're on Graham and Selena,

00:18:38.880 --> 00:18:46.519
JV show. What more do you need? I want to test

00:18:46.519 --> 00:18:50.759
your knowledge. about more of the history of

00:18:50.759 --> 00:18:54.519
pop music. Um, what got you into pop music, bud?

00:18:57.140 --> 00:19:01.079
I used to listen to K -L -O -K in San Jose way

00:19:01.079 --> 00:19:04.839
back in the 70s and 80s. Mm -hmm. Did you listen

00:19:04.839 --> 00:19:08.319
to that, um, K -M -E -L morning show in the 80s?

00:19:09.259 --> 00:19:12.079
The Morning Zoo? Yeah. I listened to it for a

00:19:12.079 --> 00:19:17.759
bit. Did you not like it? It was okay. It is

00:19:17.759 --> 00:19:20.779
what Aaron is. Uh, Haver and Hank, what else

00:19:20.779 --> 00:19:29.000
is on your mind? Well, I'm coughing. Anything

00:19:29.000 --> 00:19:34.299
else? And also, I gotta give a shout out to all

00:19:34.299 --> 00:19:37.119
my buddies out there. I love you very, very,

00:19:37.140 --> 00:19:41.640
very, very much. Um, is there, we've been recording

00:19:41.640 --> 00:19:46.230
for 19 minutes and a 10, a second. talk to you

00:19:46.230 --> 00:19:52.049
once awake. So is there anything else? Yes. What's

00:19:52.049 --> 00:19:56.190
up? I'll keep masturbating to female pop artists.

00:19:56.589 --> 00:19:59.630
Hell yeah! Who are you going to jerk off to tonight?

00:20:01.829 --> 00:20:05.170
Hi, Sabrina Carpenter or Britney Spears. Old

00:20:05.170 --> 00:20:07.450
school Britney Spears ideas. I would say Sabrina

00:20:07.450 --> 00:20:13.039
Carpenter or Britney Spears. Do you just live

00:20:13.039 --> 00:20:17.500
or do you just drive to hell? I just drive to

00:20:17.500 --> 00:20:23.180
hell. That's not good. I got to give a big shout

00:20:23.180 --> 00:20:25.700
out to all my fans out there. That'd be very,

00:20:25.740 --> 00:20:28.619
very much. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,

00:20:28.940 --> 00:20:32.079
wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Got

00:20:32.079 --> 00:20:42.099
to hit the music. Sign us up. next week. Peace

00:20:42.099 --> 00:20:46.440
in your hood. Bye Hank. Peace in your hood. Bye.

00:20:46.480 --> 00:20:49.279
And there you go on Zoom. Like that. He's gone.

00:21:01.039 --> 00:21:10.190
Yo. Yo. Yo. Mike Crackle. hammering hank on the

00:21:10.190 --> 00:21:12.690
tackle autistic mind sharper than a bone chilling

00:21:12.690 --> 00:21:15.230
shackle henry oaks with the hops ryan hop in

00:21:15.230 --> 00:21:17.529
the spot radio waves hitting hard like a chef

00:21:17.529 --> 00:21:20.250
with the pot farewell hammering hank gotta close

00:21:20.250 --> 00:21:22.730
up the show legend in the booth where the vibes

00:21:22.730 --> 00:21:25.710
used to flow autism warrior always running the

00:21:25.710 --> 00:21:28.210
blow but all good things gotta let the curtain

00:21:28.210 --> 00:21:30.869
go slow on the dial spitting truth with his unique

00:21:30.869 --> 00:21:33.430
grind thoughts intertwined like graffiti on the

00:21:33.430 --> 00:21:36.500
line ryan on the mic Henry's rhythm divine they

00:21:36.500 --> 00:21:39.779
the blueprint every beat they design static in

00:21:39.779 --> 00:21:41.460
the speakers where the laughter used to ride

00:21:41.460 --> 00:21:44.460
Hank led the show with that beautiful pride autism

00:21:44.460 --> 00:21:47.759
didn't stop him not amplified hammering Hank

00:21:47.759 --> 00:21:50.660
forever immortalized farewell hammering Hank

00:21:50.660 --> 00:21:53.319
gotta close up the show legend in the booth where

00:21:53.319 --> 00:21:56.119
the vibes used to flow autism warrior always

00:21:56.119 --> 00:22:02.460
running the glow but all See a host with the

00:22:02.460 --> 00:22:04.640
sauce Henry Oaks and Reinhardt Lightning never

00:22:04.640 --> 00:22:07.279
lost Puzzle piece crown Man this dude was the

00:22:07.279 --> 00:22:10.319
boss City Mr. Voice That's the ultimate cause

00:22:40.690 --> 00:22:43.369
farewell hammer and hank gotta close up the show

00:22:43.369 --> 00:22:45.970
legend in the booth where the vibes used to flow

00:22:45.970 --> 00:22:49.150
autism warrior always running the glow but all

00:22:49.150 --> 00:23:01.589
good things gotta let the curtain go slow radio

00:23:01.589 --> 00:23:04.369
gate never goes here host with the sauce henry

00:23:04.369 --> 00:23:06.910
oaks and ryan harp lightning never lost puzzle

00:23:06.910 --> 00:23:09.730
piece crown man this dude was the boss city mr

00:23:09.980 --> 00:23:34.650
voice. That's the ultimate cause. award -winning

00:23:34.650 --> 00:23:37.069
and nationally syndicated Hoppy Hour podcast.

00:23:37.450 --> 00:23:40.990
But I'm not bragging. It's a mix of a 2000s,

00:23:40.990 --> 00:23:44.849
1990s morning show in a podcast format. You never

00:23:44.849 --> 00:23:47.390
know what I might talk about. One minute I could

00:23:47.390 --> 00:23:50.210
be talking about the latest with the NFL side

00:23:50.210 --> 00:23:53.289
chicks, and the very next second I could be playing

00:23:53.289 --> 00:23:56.750
an unknown song from the 2000s. My show is an

00:23:56.750 --> 00:24:01.150
in -studio circus for the age group of 18 to

00:24:01.150 --> 00:24:03.809
34, even though we have 70 -year -olds a listen.

00:24:04.130 --> 00:24:07.410
For more info, if you want to be a sponsor, a

00:24:07.410 --> 00:24:10.329
friend, and no, not a drinking sponsor, a sponsor

00:24:10.329 --> 00:24:14.130
of the show of Hoppy Hour, go to ridethewave

00:24:14.130 --> 00:24:18.569
.media is the website, and ryanhoppyradio at

00:24:18.569 --> 00:24:22.450
gmail .com. Once again, this is Ryan Hoppy of

00:24:22.450 --> 00:24:25.809
the Hoppy Hour podcast, and let's do some business.

00:24:26.539 --> 00:24:28.779
What's up? Ryan Hoppe here. And I want to tell

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you about the Ride the Wave Media Podcast Network.

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They got such great shows. It's Practically Magic,

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Those Guys, Blaine's World, and even my show,

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by searching Hoppe Radio. This podcast network

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is going to take over the world. It is everything

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that radio is missing. Now you're hearing my

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voice and you go, how can I find it? RideTheWave

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.media is the website. name and there has all

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the great podcasts and once again this is ryan

00:25:01.119 --> 00:25:04.380
hoppy from the ride to wave media podcast network

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