National Anthem, TikTok Radio & Draymond Green Rants | Hank

WEBVTT

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I started Ornot in 2013, and we make bike apparel.

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The best part of Shopify for me is our ability

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to run the business as essentially non -technical

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people. We're able to admin everything on the

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back end, front end, and sell things online easily.

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If Shopify were a bike accessory, I think it

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would actually be the bicycle. It's the thing

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that you do the thing on. We run the business

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on Shopify. Start your free trial on Shopify

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.com. You're listening to The Hammer and Hank

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Show with Henry Oaks and Ryan Hoppe. What's up,

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Hammer and Hank? How are you? How the heck are

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you doing, Ryan? I'm doing good, man. I'm very

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happy that we're here. I'm very happy that we're

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hanging out. How has life been in the life and

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times of Hammer and Hank? Extremely good. And

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I've been... I've been invited to sing the National

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Anthem at the Stockton Ports game on April 28th

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when they battled the Fresno Grizzlies. How excited

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are you about singing there, bud? Pretty good.

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Why are you so excited? Because I've been wanting

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to do this all year long at the Stockton Ports

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game. What does it mean to you to sing at the

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Stockton Ports game? Very good. There's still

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an affiliate with the Oakland Athletics. Now

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I should say the Homeless A's. What is it, the

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Sacramento Athletics, right? I call it the Homeless

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A's. And that's why we love you. Hank, you have

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your jokes in front of you, correct? Yes. Continue

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to make me laugh. What are the jokes for this

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week? Why did I go to the gym? Why? So I can

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say I went to the gym. Why did I start diets

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on Monday? Why? Because I need the weekend to

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emotionally prepare. Why did I check my phone

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so much? In case my life suddenly becomes interesting.

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Why did I stay up at... late every night? Why?

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Because that's when my bad decisions feel right.

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Why do I try to save money? Why? Because I can't

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spend it later on something dumb. Why do I clean

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my room? Why? So I can make a mess again with

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confidence. Why do I drink coffee every morning?

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Why? So I can feel like a person. That's caffeine

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for me. Why do I make plans? Why? So I can cancel

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them later. Why do I set alarms? Why? So I can

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ignore them later. Same joke, but... Why do I

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think about becoming productive? Why? Because

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actually doing it sounds exhausting. That was

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exhausting too. And that's it for the jokes for

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this week. Hank, so I want to ask you. It is

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Sunday and I know I've been told not to ever

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do a Hammer and Hank show again on Sunday. It's

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all good because it was a lot. But Sunday means

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that Hammer and Hank goes to church. How was

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church today? Extremely good. We're learning

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the book of James. How's that going? We learned

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that Jesus is coming back extremely soon. How

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soon do you think? Soon and very soon. We're

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going to see the king. Soon and very soon. We're

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going to see the king. I actually remember that

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song from church. Do you go crazy in the club

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when that music comes on? Do you get all pumped

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up at church? I don't go to the club anymore

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because I'm too old. We need to talk about that.

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You were telling our program director and me,

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Alex from Hot 97 .7 at Hot 97 .7 FM Radio .com

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that you're too old to club. Hank, you would

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be the king of the club. I did not know that

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until now. Well, it's never too late, Hank. How's

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the dating life? How's the life at times of Hammer

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and Hank going? I like to date a Latina female.

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What type of body? What does she need to look

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like? Normal. What's normal with a woman? Well...

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She's not either too fat or too skinny. Just

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right. What if she's a little chunky, Hank? I'll

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accept that. What if she's like bony, like taking

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way too much Ozempic, like Kelly Osbourne? I

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won't accept that. What if she's like Mama June

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before she lost all the weight, just a fat woman?

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I don't like Ozempic. Although I never took it.

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If you were to get a date with a dream Latina,

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what would that first date be like? Where would

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Hammer and Hank take all of it? A baseball game.

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And what would you buy them as food? Because

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they're going to be hungry. Nachos, Mexican food

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that they serve at the ballparks. Hammer and

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Hank, what's your favorite type of Mexican food?

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Quesadillas. Oh, yeah. I like a burrito. Burritos.

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I like a burrito bowl. Mm -hmm. Hanky, I want

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to ask you, you've been in radio a long time,

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longer than I've been alive. What are some of

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your favorite radio memories? You know, the day

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I got my first on -air job at 1 -8 -4 -9? When?

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That was back when I was hired to do my own show

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called with Hammer and Hank Show. Hell yeah,

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that's on YouTube, man. Lounging with Hammer

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and Hank. You're a legend. Thank you, buddy.

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You're welcome, buddy. I love your energy. What

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are some of your favorite memories of maybe early

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2000s in radio? Playing music, talking to people,

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attaining the warning from a bomb conjurer. Hell

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yeah. I stopped doing that after the laughing

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incident. It was in the Cinco de Ma Bomb concert

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in 2001. I had to laugh on stage for an entire

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minute. I hated it. Yeah, it sounds pretty terrible.

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The crowd hated it also, and I almost got fired

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for it. like that story and the fact that you're

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just doing what Jamie and Elvis are telling you

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to do and then all of a sudden there's this thing

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where they get mad at you man funk no the management

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got mad at me not Jamie and Elvis I understand

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but I'm saying the management needs to realize

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that you need to oh whatever management shmanagement

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they're just a bunch of losers that weren't good

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enough to be on air anyway Hammer Hank, it says

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here there's some radio nostalgia. What is your

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radio nostalgia? I used to listen to a radio

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station called KLOK in San Jose. It was an AM

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station back in the early 70s to late 1980s.

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Do you have good memories of that? Yes. They

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played middle of the road music until the 80s,

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and then they switched to adult contemporary.

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Then yes, no radio. Hammer and Hank. What was

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it like the first time you heard Wild 107 -7?

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It was a good station. Mm -hmm. Man Cal Inc.

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in the morning show. Yeah. Then I was on JoJo's

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show for a while. Yes, you were. Hank. After

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Man Cal left. Hank, so this Wednesday or Thursday,

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one of the two days, we're going to do the Hammer

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and Hank show. This is episode 46. It's crazy.

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We're going to do episode 47. And forever and

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ever, we're going to record a KCRH unless you're

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on summer vacation. Here's what I'm saying. Today,

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I don't want to have this equipment be where

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we do the tryout of Hammer and Hank going on

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TikTok radio. We'll wait till Wednesday. We'll

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let Hank prepare for that. And I'll give him

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some prep. But Hank. What are your thoughts on

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TikTok radio? TikTok radio is good. What's it

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like? They play pop music. Hire some iHeartRadio

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DJs. They keep me entertained. What are they

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talking about? Pop music, pop culture, and anything

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that's going on. TikTok right now. Yeah. It's

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good. Now, for people out there that maybe are

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working at TikTok Radio, tell them right now

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why you deserve to have a tryout to be at TikTok

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Radio. Because I want to extend my reach. Yes.

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And talk to people about pop culture, TikTok

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events, and the like. Well, Hammer and Hank,

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the other thing is this, is that you can be the

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autistic ambassador. Everybody's so more accepting

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of autistic people now. It's pathetic how they

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treated you in the 90s. But what I'm saying is

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you could be the man on there where you teach

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people about how awesome and how sweet you are,

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man. You would be perfect. Thank you, buddy.

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You'd be perfect for TikTok radio, dude. Thank

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you, buddy. You're welcome, Hank. Hammer and

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Hank, I want to ask you. Tell me about the daytime

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talk shows that just got the X. It sucks for

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the show fans that the fans of the TV talk shows

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that they watched have been canceled. Which shows

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got canceled? Tyra Banks, Montel Jackson, whatever

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their name was? The C -Vocal show just got canceled

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because of declining ratings. I didn't even know

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you were still on TV, bro. I used to watch that

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20 years ago. Steve O 'Cose, I watched the Kelly

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Clarkson show. That got the act also. Well, that

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was out of personal stuff, you know. Her ex -husband

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died, you know. Did you see that clip this week?

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She had somebody on this from the new American

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Idol, and she was saying that she never got the

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car from American Idol. They're supposed to give

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her a car 24 years ago. I guess the producers

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of American Idol hated her. Yeah, do you like

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Kelly Clarkson? I love Kelly Clarkson's music.

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What about her as a person? I love her as a person

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also. I've heard she's quite nice. I've heard

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there's no in -between. Extremely nice, buddy.

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We've been recording for 11 minutes and 11 seconds.

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Make a wish, Hank. My wish is to get... To get

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on TikTok radio as often as I could. And also

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to get back into commercial radio. And to extend

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my fan base. That's a good goal. What if I told

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you this is the future though, man? That's very

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good, buddy. That's awesome to hear. Now, I didn't

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know what this meant. And now, whenever you write

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something, I don't know what it means. I like

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to save it for the show. I don't want to know

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beforehand. It's something I learned from a radio

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show I worked on called Rover's Morning Glory,

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where we found out everything on air for the

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first time, including Rover. I want to ask you,

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what is nightclub humor? Nightclub humor is when

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you attend nightclubs. As much as I did back

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in the late 90s, early 2000s, danced with a bunch

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of women. I've never been to a comedy club, though.

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You've never been to a comedy club? Nope. You're

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not missing out. I've been to like 70 comedy

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shows and interviewed 50 comedians, and they're

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all douchebags. They're brats. Especially Bert

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Kreischer, the fat slob. You know who I met at

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one of the wildest comedy jams? Who? Dave Chappelle.

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Hell yeah. Did you get to meet Dave or what?

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I met Dave Chappelle. He seemed very nice. He's

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a legend. You saw him right before he went crazy.

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Yep. I also met Carlos Mencia. You mean the guy

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that copied Joe Rogan? Yep. He had a big little

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run in the mid -2000s, man. 2005 to 2008, that

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was his era, bruh. I also got to meet a lot of

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my buddies out there who laughed at my jokes.

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I got to perform at a couple of the WandaVine

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comedy jams. And they loved it. Who? Who was

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it? I got to go on stage at the Wild and Fine

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Comedy Jam back in 2004. How did those jokes

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go? Very good. Do you remember any of those jokes?

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I'm reading my jokes off of a piece of paper

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because I have a messed up memory. You know who

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did that in 2015 when he was 21 years old and

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he was one of my influences? You know Pete Davidson?

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You know, there's a guy that's like the skinny

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comedian that was on SNL that was banging out

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Ariana Grande. You know, Pete Davidson, the goofy

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looking guy. Yep. He was stoned as hell at the

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Tampa Improv. Now the funny bone in Ybor City.

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And he brought a notebook with him because he

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said sometimes he gets so high he forgets things.

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And that's what I do with Hoppy Hour. I have

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a Google Docs of everything. Cool, buddy. It's

00:14:52.620 --> 00:14:54.679
such riveting stuff. Can you tell that I lifted

00:14:54.679 --> 00:14:57.120
earlier and swam 20 laps before doing this show?

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I'm the Energizer Bunny. You behave like it too,

00:15:02.139 --> 00:15:09.080
buddy. I behave like it too? That's what you

00:15:09.080 --> 00:15:11.919
said just now, right? Yep. You're the man, dude.

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Throwing shots my way. I Hank. It's going on

00:15:16.919 --> 00:15:18.860
two weeks, but it was technically last week.

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Anyway, what did you think about our rant where

00:15:22.019 --> 00:15:30.059
we called out Trayvon Green? I loved it. So here's

00:15:30.059 --> 00:15:32.940
what we're going to do. We're going to play it

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right now in its entirety, and then we'll come

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back. Who's your prick in the news? Definitely

00:15:40.379 --> 00:15:43.340
Trayvon Green because I was listening to your

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podcast today. Why? Yes, he's a fucking crybaby

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without Steph Curry. Hank, Draymond Green had

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the audacity to go out there and say that the

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dynasty and everything was because of him. But

00:15:59.799 --> 00:16:02.220
guess what's happening without Curry? They're

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losing. He's fucking up. Mm -hmm. He should be

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on the Maury Poe show. Why? Because that fucking

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crybaby. Why should he be on the Maury Poe show?

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That's where all the crybabies end up because

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of their failed paternity test. I was going to

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make that a clip, but I might leave that out.

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All right, Hammer and Hank, anything else? You

00:16:29.549 --> 00:16:32.330
know the Boy Poet Show? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I've

00:16:32.330 --> 00:16:33.990
heard of it. You know the theme song should be

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the crying game because all the people crying

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over stupid paternity tests. Man, you're really

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big on the paternity test today, dude. You're

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the best. Hank, you're the greatest. I mean,

00:16:49.730 --> 00:16:51.929
there's Howard Stern. There's JV and all this.

00:16:52.110 --> 00:16:54.210
There's all these. You're the greatest. There's

00:16:54.210 --> 00:16:55.870
nobody better. Thank you, buddy. There's nobody

00:16:55.870 --> 00:16:59.529
better. Oops, wrong button. Then Hammer and Hank,

00:16:59.730 --> 00:17:01.509
you're the best. You're the greatest. You're

00:17:01.509 --> 00:17:05.009
the GOAT. And we're back. Hammer and Hank, what

00:17:05.009 --> 00:17:07.529
does it mean to you that you have a platform

00:17:07.529 --> 00:17:11.529
where you can call out Draymond Green? Draymond

00:17:11.529 --> 00:17:14.650
Green was my prick of the week last week because

00:17:14.650 --> 00:17:18.440
of the... The way he behaves off the court and

00:17:18.440 --> 00:17:21.839
on the court every time he commits a foul. Mm

00:17:21.839 --> 00:17:26.240
-hmm. He's a brat. And that team is now winning.

00:17:26.380 --> 00:17:29.079
He keeps talking about all the times that they

00:17:29.079 --> 00:17:31.980
won. What have you done for me recently, brah?

00:17:33.039 --> 00:17:35.839
I dedicate this song, What Have You Done For

00:17:35.839 --> 00:17:38.940
Me Lately, to Dream on Green. I love you, Hank.

00:17:39.160 --> 00:17:43.099
Hank, who's your buddy of the week? My buddy

00:17:43.099 --> 00:17:49.519
of the week this week? All my buddies at TikTok

00:17:49.519 --> 00:17:55.059
Radio, iHeart Radio, and you for keeping me busy.

00:17:55.339 --> 00:17:57.559
Hell yeah. We got to do that. We got to take

00:17:57.559 --> 00:17:59.940
care of her hammering Hank. We love you, dude.

00:18:02.240 --> 00:18:05.640
And my prick of the week this week, the head

00:18:05.640 --> 00:18:09.380
of Live Nation for charging way too much on concert

00:18:09.380 --> 00:18:11.759
tickets. And I listened to your podcast. Hell

00:18:11.759 --> 00:18:15.319
yeah. My show, Hoppy Hour, which is heard every

00:18:15.319 --> 00:18:18.740
morning on Hot 97 .7 FM Radio .com in Fresno.

00:18:19.319 --> 00:18:23.180
Hammer and Hank, anything else? That should do

00:18:23.180 --> 00:18:26.599
it. All right, Hammer and Hank. Let me get the

00:18:26.599 --> 00:18:30.200
music that signs us up. Where are we? Forever

00:18:30.200 --> 00:18:33.759
disconnected until three days later. Hammer and

00:18:33.759 --> 00:18:36.140
Hank. I have to say what's up to all my fans

00:18:36.140 --> 00:18:39.380
out there, including my sister, SirFat. I love

00:18:39.380 --> 00:18:41.420
you very, very much, and I'll talk to you real

00:18:41.420 --> 00:18:44.109
soon. Peace in your head, buddies. Bye -bye,

00:18:44.170 --> 00:18:56.849
Hank. And like that, he's gone. Ha, yeah, yo.

00:19:00.230 --> 00:19:05.450
Yo, yo, yo. Mike Crackle, hammering Hank on the

00:19:05.450 --> 00:19:07.950
tackle. Autistic mind sharper than a bone -chilling

00:19:07.950 --> 00:19:10.230
shackle. Henry Oates with the hops, Ryan Hoff.

00:19:19.559 --> 00:19:41.349
We'll be right back. Stop, I'm not amplified.

00:19:42.049 --> 00:19:45.029
Hammer and Hank forever immortalized. Farewell,

00:19:45.049 --> 00:19:47.710
Hammer and Hank, gotta close up the show. Legend

00:19:47.710 --> 00:19:50.589
in the booth where the vibes used to flow. Autism

00:19:50.589 --> 00:19:53.089
warrior always running the glow. But all good

00:19:53.089 --> 00:19:55.990
things gotta let the curtain go slow. Radio go,

00:19:56.089 --> 00:19:58.369
never ghost. He a host with the sauce. Henry

00:19:58.369 --> 00:20:00.950
Oaks and Reinhardt, lightning never lost. Puzzle

00:20:00.950 --> 00:20:03.470
piece crown, man, this dude was the boss. City

00:20:03.470 --> 00:20:36.660
missed the voice, that's the ultimate cost. Farewell,

00:20:36.680 --> 00:20:39.279
Hammer and Hank gotta close up the show Legend

00:20:39.279 --> 00:20:42.200
in the booth where the vibes used to flow Autism

00:20:42.200 --> 00:20:44.700
warrior always running the glow But all good

00:20:44.700 --> 00:20:57.299
things gotta let the curtain go slow Radio gate

00:20:57.299 --> 00:20:59.980
never goes, he a host with the stars Harry Oakes

00:20:59.980 --> 00:21:25.509
and Ryan Harp, lighting never lost You're listening

00:21:25.509 --> 00:21:28.910
to The Hammerin' Hank Show with Henry Oaks and

00:21:28.910 --> 00:21:32.670
Ryan Hoppy. The Hammerin' Hank Show. What's up?

00:21:32.690 --> 00:21:34.970
Ryan Hoppy here. And I want to tell you about

00:21:34.970 --> 00:21:38.369
the Ride to Wave Media Podcast Network. They

00:21:38.369 --> 00:21:40.890
got such great shows. It's Practically Magic,

00:21:41.210 --> 00:21:44.450
Those Guys, Blaine's World, and even my show,

00:21:44.609 --> 00:21:46.900
Highlight. Hoppy Hour with Ryan Hoppy, which

00:21:46.900 --> 00:21:49.900
can be heard by searching Hoppy Radio. This podcast

00:21:49.900 --> 00:21:53.440
network is going to take over the world. It is

00:21:53.440 --> 00:21:56.200
everything that radio is missing. Now you're

00:21:56.200 --> 00:21:58.220
hearing my voice and you go, how can I find it?

00:21:59.480 --> 00:22:03.079
RideTheWave .media is the website name and there

00:22:03.079 --> 00:22:06.319
has all the great podcasts. And once again, this

00:22:06.319 --> 00:22:09.539
is Ryan Hoppe from the Ride the Wave Media Podcast

00:22:09.539 --> 00:22:11.980
Network. Hey, what's up, guys? It's Ryan Hoppe

00:22:11.980 --> 00:22:15.000
here. I host the award -winning and nationally

00:22:15.000 --> 00:22:18.599
syndicated Hoppe Hour Podcast, but I'm not bragging.

00:22:18.740 --> 00:22:22.500
It's a mix of a 2000s, 1990s morning show in

00:22:22.500 --> 00:22:25.500
a podcast format. You never know what I might

00:22:25.500 --> 00:22:27.859
talk about. One minute, I could be talking about

00:22:27.859 --> 00:22:31.079
the latest with the NFL side chicks, and the

00:22:31.079 --> 00:22:33.779
very next second, I could be playing an unknown

00:22:33.779 --> 00:22:37.869
song from the 2000s. My show is an in -studio

00:22:37.869 --> 00:22:42.029
circus for the age group of 18 to 34, even though

00:22:42.029 --> 00:22:44.829
we have 70 -year -olds that listen. For more

00:22:44.829 --> 00:22:47.609
info, if you want to be a sponsor, a friend,

00:22:47.789 --> 00:22:50.430
and no, not a drinking sponsor, a sponsor of

00:22:50.430 --> 00:22:55.089
the show of Hoppy Hour. go to ridethewave .media

00:22:55.089 --> 00:22:59.490
is the website, and ryanhoppyradio at gmail .com.

00:22:59.509 --> 00:23:03.289
Once again, this is Ryan Hoppy of the Hoppy Hour

00:23:03.289 --> 00:23:51.529
Podcast, and let's do some business. No problem.

00:23:51.809 --> 00:23:54.650
Same day approval. St. Pete, Miss Abishi. Everybody

00:23:54.650 --> 00:23:56.950
deserves a second chance. Get all the facts at

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stpetemissabishi .com or call 727 -616 -2033.

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