Hammerin' Hank iPhone 17, Taylor Swift Trivia & Baseball Jokes

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right, Hammer and Hank, if I hit the music, would

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you be ready to start the show? Goody belly,

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buddy. Buddy belly, whatever it is. All right,

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let's go. You're listening to The Hammer and

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Hank Show with Henry Oaks and Ryan Hoppy. Legend

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on the airwaves free Autistic kingpin, Cali's

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hard OG Wild 949, he the voice they need Doghouse

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days, layin' down the cream Too legit to quit,

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Hammond and Hank on fire Mike in hand, lifeline

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and wire Radio beast ain't showin' no tire Underdog

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champion, always goin' higher Wild like a wolf,

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howl at the moon Airwaves... What up, Hank? Hey

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there, buddy I'm great, how are you? It's really

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good. Man, I like to think I'm a busy guy, Hank.

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You are always doing something, dude. You are

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a man around town. Zoom's breaking up. What did

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you say? It's ready. Oh, Lord, we might have

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problems today. Aaron, Hank, what is your radio

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memory of the week? I finally met Taylor from

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Star 113 yesterday at the AT &T store in Castro

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Valley. Did you go out to the event? Yes, I did.

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Did Smurfette drive you? Yes, she did. And I'm

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getting a new iPhone. You're getting a new iPhone?

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Which iPhone? iPhone 17 Pro Max. Wow! Baller

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over here! Dude, how excited are you? Really

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excited, buddy. You're going to be able to Snapchat

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and send pictures to all the hot women with the

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latest camera. Look at you. You have no idea

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what I'm talking about. Hammer and Hank, what

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else is, do you have any other radio memories

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of the week? That's it. That's it? Out of all

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your time on the doghouse, you have nothing to

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remember upon? I remember one doghouse memory.

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Tell me. When he brought me in the studio for

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birthday cake. That was on my birthday in 2004.

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How old were you then? I was, I think I was 38.

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How old are you right now? 59. I'll be 59. Oh

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my Lord, you're so young. You were 37. 37, yep.

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Do you ever, when you're at church, do you ever

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pray to JV? Yes. What do you pray to JV about

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up in heaven? I pray that Saint Nick Graham and

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Jess do a good job on their morning show, the

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JV show on Wild Night for Nine. They seem to

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be doing pretty well. I mean, I think it's time

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to name it Graham and Selena in the morning,

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but what do I know? Throw a vacation this coming

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week. Yo, what? Throw a vacation this coming

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week. Oh, no, I was so worried. They're going

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to go to Napa Valley. I have a headache. If I

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hit the music, are you ready for the jokes? Yep.

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Hank's joke hitting like a thumper from the trunk.

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Punch lines cracking louder than a cat, no punk.

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All right, Hank, today we have two different

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types of jokes. We have regular jokes, which

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are always called jokes. Yes, go with the regular

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jokes first as I drink this Pepsi. Why did I

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spend an hour picking out an outfit? Why do you

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what? Spend an hour picking out an outfit? Because

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you're a woman? Why? Because first impressions

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are important. And second impressions are usually

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shirtless. Why did she tell me to come over after

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10 o 'clock at night? Because she wants to get

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laid? Because apparently that's when all the

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important conversations happen. Nice. What do

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I say? I'm just gonna stay for one drink. When?

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Because I enjoy being hilariously wrong. That

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happens to me. What if I light candles for my

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apartment? Why? Because as it says, romance like

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poutine, I have my life together. Me too, bud.

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Welcome to the club. Why did I smile when I tripped

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over my own feet? Why? Because confidence is

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attractive and apparently so is surviving embarrassment.

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That is a deep joke right there. What I have,

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what I love. Cut it. Why did I laugh a little

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tension? Why? Because the world, they won't,

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they is such as bad than the day old. I have

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no idea what you just said, but it was still

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funnier than Carlos Mencia. Why did I practice

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what I was going to say before the date? Why?

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Because my brain turns into mashed potatoes around

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distracted people. Why did I bring my lucky shirt?

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Why? Because if my personality fails, maybe Con...

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Maybe what? Are you okay? Oh no, we're having

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technical difficulties. This is not what I wanted

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to do. Are you okay, Hank? Oh, goody, goody gumdrops.

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We have no fucking audio. Let me see what's going

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on. Eight, five, six. You're what? You back?

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All right. Next joke. This show's a mess. I don't

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know why. Nice. All right. Give me the baseball

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jokes. Why did the baseball part bring a pencil

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to the game? Why? In case we need to draw a lock.

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Why did the Cinderella so bad at baseball? I

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don't know. Why? Because she kept running away

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from the ball. Why did the baseball team go to

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the bank? Why? to get their picture. Why did

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the baseball player sit on a pancake? Why? Because

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he was a better batter. Oh, that's not bad. Why

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do baseball teams always look cool? Why? Because

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they're full of fans. Why did the baseball player

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get arrested? Why? Because he stole second base.

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Oh, nice. Why did the baseball player Why was

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the baseball player a good musician? Why? Because

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he had a perfect pitch. Why did the baseball

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player bring a string to the game? Why? So he

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could tie the score. Nice. Why don't baseball

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players join the circus? Why don't baseball players

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join the circus? Because they already know how

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to judge jugglers. Nice. And finally, why was

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the baseball coach yelling at the vending machine?

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Why? Because it wouldn't give him a fair shake.

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No, it's not bad. And that's it for the baseball

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jokes. All right, Hammer and Hank. What's the

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key to getting social media interaction? When

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I post our show, we get 10 likes. You post the

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national anthem, you get a million and a half

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likes. What's the key? I know. How do we do it?

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What do we do? Because we need to promote the

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show more. Yeah. Also, the Woody show helping

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you out is kind of ideal. 550 likes. Good for

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you. Here is your national anthem. You won't

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be able to hear it. Good job, Hammer and Hank.

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Thank you, buddy. Man, I'm so proud of you. I'm

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like a proud brother. You're doing it. Thank

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you, buddy. You're doing it. Let's see. Fire

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at the music. Are you ready for music trivia?

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Yes. One sec. Turn on the show with Henry and

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Ryan. Hot trivia questions. Yeah, no lying. Got

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my mind sharp like a blade that's flying. They

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asking those questions, got my brain frying.

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Hammer and Hank's got the mic up high. Pop hits

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playing to the end of the sky. Gotta keep it

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real, can't let it slide. Answers in my head,

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can't let them hide. Pop trivia, yeah, we bringing

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the heat. Get your knowledge up, take a sneak.

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Playing those hits right. What do you got? One

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question this week. Only one? Jesus Christ. What

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is it? Who had the main care record? Quit playing

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games with my heart. Back in 1997. Hank, I actually

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know this one. I'm so excited. I might need to

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phone a friend. Mm -hmm. No, no. Are you ready

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for me to be correct? Are you ready? Yes. Backstreet

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Boys! You're at me. Hell yeah! Hank, who sang

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the song, It's Gonna Be May? I don't know. NSYNC!

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NSYNC, that's right. I said, I confused you because

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I was trying to be funny. That was a field. This

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is why you're the guy going on the big time radio

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shows and I'm the guy in town. You're a legend.

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You don't need my ear. Don't even know what I'm

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saying. Everett Hank, what music do you think

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I'm playing right now? Church music. You know

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me so well. Everett Hank. What's going on in

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church? We're going to have a substitute speaker

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this week because Pastor John is going to visit

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some of his relatives on vacation. Is he going

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to a brothel? I'm kidding. So what are you learning

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this week in church? Not yet. What are you learning?

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What book are you on? What's Chivas doing? We're

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on 1 Peter. How's that going? Extremely good.

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That's interesting stuff. Mm -hmm. What have

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you been praying to God this week about? Mm -hmm.

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About my radio career. Hank. Hank. You're driving

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me nuts. You're on to Woody. You're on to Woody's

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shoot. Let me. My upcoming performance at the

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San Jose Giants game on July 21st. Well, you

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kill every national anthem. Mm -hmm. So it's

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kind of obvious. Thank you. A hammer and ink.

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You're on the Woody Show, the show that won't

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talk to me. You are on the JV Show. You're on

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KCRH. You're on Hot 97 .7. You're on the Everett

00:14:04.049 --> 00:14:07.169
Hank Show. You've been on Happy Hour. You were

00:14:07.169 --> 00:14:09.830
on the Dog House with JV and Elvis. You were

00:14:09.830 --> 00:14:12.570
on Manic House Morning Madhouse. You do have

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a radio career. You made it. Well, buddy, looks

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like I made it. I wish we had video here. You're

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so adorable. Hank, many comments were left on

00:14:25.519 --> 00:14:28.379
your national anthem. We had some fire emojis

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from Jason McMurray, a .k .a. Mattis. We had

00:14:32.519 --> 00:14:35.039
people saying they're proud of you and that that

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was a great national anthem. So keep up the good

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work, Hank. Thank you, buddy. What is your summer

00:14:41.720 --> 00:14:46.039
event ideas? Going to the Alameda County Fair.

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What are you going to do there? Maybe eat some

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food. That sounds good. What are you going to

00:14:53.500 --> 00:14:58.500
eat? Maybe some hot dogs. Oh, yeah. Hot dogs.

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What did you say? Sing the hot dog song for me.

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Hot dogs. Armor hot dogs. Is that from Flintstones

00:15:11.259 --> 00:15:15.080
or something? It was an actual armor hot dog

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commercial. I probably was, you know, on my dad's

00:15:18.899 --> 00:15:20.580
balls at that moment. I don't think I was alive

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for that. That's what I love about our generation

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crossing is that we have different references.

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Mm -hmm. I have an egg. Are you ready for a prick

00:15:30.080 --> 00:15:39.600
of the egg? Yes. Let me hit the music. Mm. Straight

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out the dim lit. Henry on the mic. What's this

00:15:42.279 --> 00:16:08.970
prick? Maybe the prick of the week this week

00:16:08.970 --> 00:16:13.870
is also... Those who don't believe in me. Who?

00:16:13.970 --> 00:16:18.309
Hank. Hank. Who doesn't believe in you? You have

00:16:18.309 --> 00:16:23.750
the Woody show. On Mark Apple. I want to throw

00:16:23.750 --> 00:16:26.250
an apple against his head. Who cares about him?

00:16:26.309 --> 00:16:27.649
I know you haven't heard of him. And I know a

00:16:27.649 --> 00:16:32.490
lot of people on radio. He was the one running

00:16:32.490 --> 00:16:37.610
back in 2008. Look what happened then. They're

00:16:37.610 --> 00:16:42.379
irrelevant. Sorry. You see those 12 plus ratings?

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I know. I'm good. Come on, Hank. I have plenty

00:16:46.639 --> 00:16:48.879
of haters. I have people tell me all the time

00:16:48.879 --> 00:16:51.840
that I suck, that I'm never going to make it.

00:16:51.840 --> 00:16:53.919
And look, I'm doing a show with Hammer and Hank.

00:16:54.220 --> 00:16:59.200
I'm doing a show too. I'm Hammer and Hank. Are

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there any other pricks in the news or the week?

00:17:01.980 --> 00:17:06.079
Dang it. Yeah, screw Mark Apple. Hey, the douche.

00:17:06.640 --> 00:17:08.859
Hank, I want to hit the buddy of the week musical,

00:17:08.859 --> 00:17:11.460
okay? All right, buddy. A little more positive

00:17:11.460 --> 00:17:45.339
vibes. Who's your buddy of the week? Everyone

00:17:45.339 --> 00:17:49.319
in the Modesto Roasters organization. They're

00:17:49.319 --> 00:17:51.660
good people over there. Mm -hmm. They're extremely

00:17:51.660 --> 00:17:54.359
good people. Invite me to see the National Anthem

00:17:54.359 --> 00:17:56.980
at their game on Wednesday night. Yeah. Which

00:17:56.980 --> 00:18:02.319
the Modesto Roasters humiliated. Good to humiliate.

00:18:02.920 --> 00:18:10.579
Give us center. 16 to 3. 16 to 3? Yeah. You brought

00:18:10.579 --> 00:18:13.559
the positive mojo, Hank. Hey, can you believe

00:18:13.559 --> 00:18:16.000
when I yell that my cat is sleeping on the bed

00:18:16.000 --> 00:18:22.980
very happy? Yep. Love can make you happy. Hank,

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sing me a song right now. Let's dance. Sing me

00:18:28.099 --> 00:18:33.609
the first song that comes to your mind. Hank.

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Love can make you happy. Go on. I don't pay attention

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to lyrics that much. You're the best. Hank! Anything

00:18:46.450 --> 00:18:52.990
else on your mind? You okay? Are you okay? You've

00:18:52.990 --> 00:18:55.490
been coughing a lot today. Are you okay? Somebody

00:18:55.490 --> 00:18:59.069
set off fireworks in our neighborhood last night.

00:18:59.329 --> 00:19:04.150
Did the exhaust hurt your throat? Soda. I'm sorry,

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bud. Were you on set? And there's mice in our

00:19:05.849 --> 00:19:08.970
house also. And what about the house? There's

00:19:08.970 --> 00:19:11.430
mice in our house also. Oh, that's not good.

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You got to get a cat. Mm -hmm. Kim Marley. I

00:19:14.809 --> 00:19:18.670
can't because my dog Marley hates cats. Ha, ha,

00:19:18.750 --> 00:19:21.910
ha, ha. I don't think my sweet Luna would like

00:19:21.910 --> 00:19:24.490
Marley either. It's always the animal that doesn't

00:19:24.490 --> 00:19:27.490
like other animals. Aaron, hey, can Marley kill

00:19:27.490 --> 00:19:35.519
the mouse? Nope. Oh, man. Anti -mastery, but

00:19:35.519 --> 00:19:38.480
they kept coming back. You gotta get that work

00:19:38.480 --> 00:19:42.240
done. Hammer and Hank, anything else? That's

00:19:42.240 --> 00:19:45.640
it. Alright, one second. Hammer and Hank, we've

00:19:45.640 --> 00:19:47.880
been recording for 19 minutes and 15 seconds.

00:19:48.119 --> 00:19:51.579
Does it feel like it's been 20 minutes? Yep.

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I was not expecting that answer. Hammer and Hank,

00:19:55.319 --> 00:20:01.220
any final thoughts for episode 57? Never, never

00:20:01.220 --> 00:20:04.660
give up. Always stay focused on your goals. I

00:20:04.660 --> 00:20:06.900
got to shout out to all my buddies out there

00:20:06.900 --> 00:20:10.380
who supported my nationalism, and I'll talk to

00:20:10.380 --> 00:20:13.240
you real soon. Peace in your hood. Bye, Hank!

00:20:14.039 --> 00:20:30.690
Peace in your hood, buddy. Yo, Mike Crackle,

00:20:30.730 --> 00:20:33.670
Hammerin' Hank on the tackle Autistic mind sharper

00:20:33.670 --> 00:20:35.890
than a bone -chilling shackle Henry Oates with

00:20:35.890 --> 00:20:38.609
the hops, Ryan Hopp in the spot Radio waves hittin'

00:20:38.609 --> 00:20:41.369
hard like a chef with a pot Farewell, Hammerin'

00:20:41.369 --> 00:20:43.970
Hank, gotta close up the show Legend in the booth

00:20:43.970 --> 00:20:46.589
where the vibes used to flow Autism warrior,

00:20:46.690 --> 00:20:49.369
always runnin' the glow But all good things gotta

00:20:49.369 --> 00:20:51.829
let the curtain go slow On the dial, spittin'

00:20:51.829 --> 00:20:54.410
truth with his unique grind Thoughts intertwined

00:20:54.410 --> 00:20:57.019
like graffiti on the line Ryan on the mic Like

00:20:57.019 --> 00:20:59.759
Henry's rhythm divine. They the blueprint. Every

00:20:59.759 --> 00:21:02.299
beat they design. Static in the speakers where

00:21:02.299 --> 00:21:04.579
the laughter used to ride. Hank led the show

00:21:04.579 --> 00:21:07.099
with that beautiful pride. Autism didn't stop

00:21:07.099 --> 00:21:10.960
him, not amplified. Hammer and Hank forever immortalized.

00:21:11.140 --> 00:21:13.380
Farewell, Hammer and Hank. Gotta close up the

00:21:13.380 --> 00:21:15.819
show. Legend in the booth where the vibes used

00:21:15.819 --> 00:21:18.819
to flow. Autism warrior always running the globe.

00:21:23.369 --> 00:22:04.190
We'll be right back. Farewell Hammer and Hank

00:22:04.190 --> 00:22:06.769
Gotta close up the show Legend in the booth Where

00:22:06.769 --> 00:22:09.589
the vibes used to flow Autism warrior Always

00:22:09.589 --> 00:22:12.210
running the glow But all good things Gotta let

00:22:12.210 --> 00:22:24.849
the curtain go slow Radio gate never goes He

00:22:24.849 --> 00:22:27.269
a host with the sauce Harry Oaks and Ryan Harp

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Lightning never lost Puzzle piece crown Man this

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dude was the boss That's the ultimate cause.

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Award winning and nationally syndicated Hoppy

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Hour Podcast. I'm not bragging. It's a mix of

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a 2000s, 1990s morning show in a podcast format.

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You never know what I might talk about. One minute

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I could be talking about the latest with the

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NFL side chicks, and the very next second I could

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be playing an unknown song from the 2000s. My

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show is an in -studio circus. for the age group

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of 18 to 34, even though we have 70 -year -olds

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that listen. For more info, if you want to be

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a sponsor, a friend, and no, not a drinking sponsor,

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a sponsor of the show of Hoppy Hour, go to ridethewave

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.media is the website, and ryanhoppyradio at

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gmail .com. Once again, this is Ryan Hoppy of

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the Hoppy Hour podcast, and let's do some business.

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