The Hammerin Hank Show With Henry Ochs & Ryan Hoppe: Episode 57

WEBVTT

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All right, Hammer and Hank, if I hit the music,

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would you be ready to start the show? Goody belly,

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buddy. Buddy belly, whatever it is. All right,

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let's go. You're listening to The Hammer and

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Hank Show with Henry Oaks and Ryan Hoppy. Legend

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on the airwaves free. Autistic kingpin. Cali's

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hard OG. Wild 949. He the voice they need. Doghouse

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days. Laying down the cream. Too legit to quit.

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Heaven and Hank on fire. Mike in hand. Lifeline

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and wire. Radio beast ain't showing no tire.

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Underdog champion. Always going higher. Wild

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like a wolf. Howl at the moon. Airwaves. What

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up Hank? JV. Dynamic trio. I'm great. How are

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you? It's really good. Man, I like to think I'm

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a busy guy, Hank. You are always doing something,

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dude. You are a man around town. Zoom's breaking

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up. What did you say? It's ready. Oh, Lord, we

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might have problems today. Aaron, Hank, what

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is your radio memory of the week? I finally met

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Taylor from Star 113 yesterday at the AT &T store

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in Castro Valley. Did you go out to the event?

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Yes, I did. Did Smurfette drive you? Yes, she

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did. And I'm getting a new iPhone. You're getting

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a new iPhone? Which iPhone? iPhone 17 Pro Max.

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Wow! Baller, Aubrey! Dude, how excited are you?

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Really excited, buddy. You're going to be able

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to Snapchat and send pictures to all the hot

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women with the latest camera. Look at you. You

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have no idea what I'm talking about. Hammer and

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Hank. What else is? Do you have any other radio

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memories of the week? That's it. That's it? Out

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of all your time on the doghouse, you have nothing

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to remember upon? I remember one doghouse memory.

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Tell me. When he brought me in the studio for

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birthday cake. That was on my birthday in 2004.

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How old were you then? I was, I think I was 38.

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How old are you right now? 59. I'll be 59. Oh

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my Lord, you're so young. You were 37. 37, yep.

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Do you ever, when you're at church, do you ever

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pray to JV? Yes. What do you pray to JV about

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up in heaven? I pray that seeing that Graham

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and Jess do a good job on their morning show,

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the JV show on Wild Night for Night. They seem

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to be doing pretty well. I mean, I think it's

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time to name it Graham and Selena in the morning,

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but what do I know? I'm on vacation this coming

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week. You're what? I'm on vacation this coming

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week. Oh, no. I was so worried. They're going

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to go to Napa Valley. I have a headache. If I

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hit the music, are you ready for the jokes? Yep.

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All right, Hank, today we have two different

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types of jokes. We have regular jokes, which

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are always... And these are all jokes. Yes, go

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with the regular jokes first as I drink this

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Pepsi. Mm -hmm. Why do I spend an hour picking

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out an outfit? Why do you what? Spend an hour

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picking out an outfit? Because you're a woman?

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Why? Because first impressions are important,

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and second impressions are usually shirtless.

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Why did she tell me to come over after 10 o 'clock

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at night? Because apparently, that's when all

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the important conversations happen. Nice! What

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did I say? I'm just gonna stay for one drink?

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When? Because I enjoy being hilariously wrong.

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That happens to me. Why did I buy candles for

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my apartment? Why? Because as it says, romance

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like poutine, I have my life together. Me too,

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bud. Welcome to the club. Why did I smile when

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I tripped over my own feet? Why? Because confidence

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is attractive and apparently so is surviving

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embarrassment. That is a deep joke right there.

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What I have, what I love, what I love a little

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tension. Why? Because the world, they won't.

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Day is such as better than the day old. I have

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no idea what you just said, but it was still

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funnier than Carlos Mencia. Why did I practice

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what I was going to say before the date? Why?

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Because my brain turns into mashed potatoes around

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distracted people. Why did I bring my lucky shirt?

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Why? Because if my personality fails, maybe Con...

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Maybe what? Are you okay? Oh no, we're having

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technical difficulties. This is not what I wanted

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to say. Are you okay, Hank? Hank? Oh, goody,

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goody gumdrops. We have no fucking audio. Let

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me see what's going on. 856. You're what? You

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back? All right. Next joke. This show's a mess.

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I don't know why. Nice. All right. Give me the

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baseball jokes. Why did the baseball part bring

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a pencil to the game? Why? In case we need to

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draw a lock. Why did the Cinderella so bad at

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baseball? I don't know. Why? Because she kept

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running away from the ball. Why did the baseball

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team go to the bank? Why? To get their picture.

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Why did the baseball player sit on a pancake?

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Why? Because he was a better batter. No, that's

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not bad. Why do baseball teams always look cool?

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Why? Because they're full of fans. Why did the

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baseball player get arrested? Why? Because he

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stole second base. Oh, nice. Why did the baseball

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player... Why was the baseball player a good

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musician? Why? Because he had a perfect pitch.

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Why did the baseball player bring a string to

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the game? Why? So he could tie the score. Nice.

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Why don't baseball players join the circus? Why

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don't baseball players join the circus? Because

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they already know how to judge jugglers. Nice.

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And finally, why was the baseball coach yelling

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at the vending machine? Why? Because it wouldn't

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give him a fair shake. No, it's not bad. And

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that's it for the baseball jokes. All right,

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Hammer and Hank. What's the key to getting social

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media interaction? When I post our show, we get

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10 likes. You post the national anthem, you get

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a million and a half likes. What's the key? I

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know. How do we do it? What do we do? Because

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we need to promote the show more. Yeah. Also,

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the Woody show helping you out. It's kind of

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ideal. 550 likes. Good for you. Yeah. Here is

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your national anthem. You won't be able to hear

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it. And it's wrong. Good job, Hammer and Hank.

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Thank you, buddy. Man, I'm so proud of you. I'm

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like a proud brother. You're doing it. Thank

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you, buddy. You're doing it. Let's see. Fire

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at the music. Are you ready for music trivia?

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Yes. One sec. Turn on the show with Henry and

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Ryan. Hot trivia questions. Yeah, no lying. Got

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my mind sharp like a blade that's flying. They

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asking those questions, got my brain frying.

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Hammer and Hank's got the mic up high. Pop hits

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playing to the end of the sky. Gotta keep it

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real, can't let it slide. Answers in my head,

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can't let them hide. Pop trivia. Yeah, we bringing

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the heat. Get your knowledge up, take a sneak.

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Playing those hits right. What do you got? One

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question this week. Only one? Jesus Christ. What

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is it? Who had the BK record? Quit playing games

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with my heart back in 1997. Hank, I actually

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know this one. I'm so excited. I might need to

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phone a friend. Are you ready for me to be correct?

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Are you ready? Yes. Backstreet Boys! Hell yeah!

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Hank, who's singing the song It's Gonna Be May?

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I don't know. NSYNC! NSYNC, that's right. I said,

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I confused you because I was trying to be funny.

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That was a failed. This is why you're the guy

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going on the big time radio shows and I'm the

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guy and damn, you're a legend. You don't need

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my humor. Don't even know what I'm saying. Hammer

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and Hank, what music do you think I'm playing

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right now? Church music. You know me so well.

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Hammer and Hank. What's going on in church? We're

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going to have a substitute speaker this week

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because Pastor John is going to visit some of

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his relatives on vacation. Is he going to a brothel?

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I'm kidding. So what are you learning this week

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in church? Not yet. What are you learning? What

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book are you on? What's Chivas doing? We're on

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1 Peter. How's that going? Extremely good. That's

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interesting stuff. Mm -hmm. What have you been

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praying to God this week about? Mm -hmm. About

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my radio career. Hank. Hank. You're driving me

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nuts. You're on to Woody. You're on to Woody.

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Let me. My upcoming performance at the San Jose

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Giants game on July 21st. Well, you kill every

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national anthem. Mm -hmm. So it's kind of a hammering.

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Thank you. You're on the Woody Show, the show

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that won't talk to me. You are on the JV Show.

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You're on KCRH. You're on Hot 97 .7. You're on

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the Hammer and Hank Show. You've been on Happy

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Hour. You were on the Dog House with JV and Elvis.

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You were on Manic House Morning Madhouse. You

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do have a radio career. You made it. Well, buddy,

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looks like I made it. Ha, ha, ha, ha. I wish

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we had video here. You're so adorable. Hank,

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many comments were left on your national anthem.

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We had some fire emojis from Jason McMurray,

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a .k .a. Mattis. We had people saying they're

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proud of you and that that was a great national

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anthem. So keep up the good work, Hank. Thank

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you, buddy. What is your summer event ideas?

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Going to the Alameda County Fair. What are you

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going to do there? Maybe eat some food. That

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sounds good. What are you going to eat? Maybe

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some hot dogs. Oh, yeah. What did you say? Sing

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the hot dog song for me. Hot dogs. Armor hot

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dogs. Is that from Flintstones or something?

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It was an actual armor hot dog commercial. I

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probably was, you know, on my dad's balls at

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that moment. I don't think I was alive for that.

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That's what I love about our generation crossing

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is that we have different references. Mm -hmm.

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I hammer an egg. Are you ready for a prick of

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the egg? Yes. Let me hit the music. Mm. Straight

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out the dim lit house. What do you have? Maybe

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the prick of the week this week is also Those

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who don't believe in me. Who? Hank. Hank. Who

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doesn't believe in you? You have the Woody show.

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On Mark Apple. I want to throw an apple against

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his head. Who cares about him? I know you haven't

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heard of him. And I know a lot of people on radio.

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He was the one running back in 2008. Look what

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happened then. They're irrelevant. Sorry. You

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see those 12 plus ratings? I know. I'm good.

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Come on, Hank. I have plenty of haters. I have

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people tell me all the time that I suck, that

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I'm never going to make it. And look, I'm doing

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a show with Hammer and Hank. I'm doing a show

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too. I'm Hammer and Hank. Are there any other

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pricks in the news or the week? Dang it. Yeah,

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screw Mark Apple. Hey, the douche. Hank, I want

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to hit the buddy of the week music, okay? All

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right, buddy. A little more pies and the vibes.

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Who's your buddy of the week? Everyone in the

00:17:15.700 --> 00:17:19.579
Medessa Roasters organization. They're good people

00:17:19.579 --> 00:17:22.680
over there. They're extremely good people. Invite

00:17:22.680 --> 00:17:25.359
me to see the National Anthem at their game on

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Wednesday night. Yeah. Which the Medessa Roasters

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humiliated. Good to humiliate. 16 to 3. 16 to

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3? Yeah. You brought the positive mojo, Hank.

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Hey, can you believe when I yell that my cat

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is sleeping on the bed very happy? Yep. Love

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can make you happy. Hank, sing me a song right

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now. Let's dance. Sing me the first song that

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comes to your mind. Hank. Love can make you happy.

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Go on. I don't pay attention to lyrics that much.

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You're the best. Hank! Anything else on your

00:18:16.750 --> 00:18:23.049
mind? You okay? Are you okay? You've been coughing

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a lot today. Are you okay? Somebody set off fireworks

00:18:26.640 --> 00:18:29.759
in our neighborhood last night. Did the exhaust

00:18:29.759 --> 00:18:34.319
hurt your throat? Sort of. I'm sorry, bud. Were

00:18:34.319 --> 00:18:36.160
you outside? And there's mice in our house also.

00:18:36.380 --> 00:18:39.279
And what about the house? There's mice in our

00:18:39.279 --> 00:18:41.500
house also. Oh, that's not good. You got to get

00:18:41.500 --> 00:18:45.039
a cat. Mm -hmm. I can't, Marley. I can't because

00:18:45.039 --> 00:18:50.009
my dog Marty hates cats. Ha, ha, ha. I don't

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think my sweet Luna would like Marley either.

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It's always the animal that doesn't like other

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animals. Hammer and Hank, can Marley kill the

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mouse? Nope. We tried anti -mouse way, but they

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kept coming back. You gotta get that work done.

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Hammer and Hank, anything else? That's it. Alright,

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one second. Hammer and Hank. We've been recording

00:19:15.759 --> 00:19:18.779
for 19 minutes and 15 seconds. Does it feel like

00:19:18.779 --> 00:19:22.940
it's been 20 minutes? Yep. Okay. I was not expecting

00:19:22.940 --> 00:19:26.900
that answer. Henry and Hank, any final thoughts

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for episode 57? Never, never give up. Always

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stay focused on your goals. I got to shout out

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to all my buddies out there who supported my

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nationalism, and I'll talk to you real soon.

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Peace in your hood. Bye, Hank! Peace is here,

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buddy. Peace is here, buddy. Peace is here, buddy.

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Always running the glow. But all good things

00:20:18.829 --> 00:20:21.410
gotta let the curtain go slow. On the dial. Spitting

00:20:21.410 --> 00:20:24.089
truth with his unique grind. Thoughts intertwined

00:20:24.089 --> 00:20:26.990
like graffiti on the line. Ryan on the mic. Henry's

00:20:26.990 --> 00:20:29.750
rhythm divine. They the blueprint. Every beat

00:20:29.750 --> 00:20:32.109
they design. Static in the speakers where the

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laughter used to ride. Hank led the show with

00:20:34.549 --> 00:20:37.029
that beautiful pride. Autism didn't stop him.

00:20:37.029 --> 00:20:40.750
Nod amplified. Hammering Hank forever immortalized.

00:20:40.829 --> 00:20:43.289
Farewell Hammering Hank. Gotta close up the show.

00:20:43.569 --> 00:20:47.670
Legend in the booth where the vibe Warrior always

00:20:47.670 --> 00:20:50.329
running the glow. But all good things gotta let

00:20:50.329 --> 00:20:53.329
the curtain go slow. Radio go, never ghost. He

00:20:53.329 --> 00:20:55.609
a host with the sauce. Henry Oaks and Ryan Hart.

00:20:55.670 --> 00:20:58.130
Lightning never lost. Puzzle piece crown. Man,

00:20:58.130 --> 00:21:00.490
this dude was the boss. City missed the voice.

00:21:00.650 --> 00:21:33.609
That's the ultimate cost. Farewell Hammer and

00:21:33.609 --> 00:21:36.230
Hank Gotta close up the show Legend in the booth

00:21:36.230 --> 00:21:39.309
Where the vibes used to flow Autism warrior Always

00:21:39.309 --> 00:21:41.890
running the glow But all good things Gotta let

00:21:41.890 --> 00:21:54.549
the curtain go slow Radio gate never goes He

00:21:54.549 --> 00:21:56.950
a host with the sauce Harry Oaks and Ryan Harp

00:21:56.950 --> 00:21:59.869
Lightning never lost Puzzle piece crown Man this

00:21:59.869 --> 00:22:02.339
dude was the boss City missed the voice That's

00:22:02.339 --> 00:22:26.759
the ultimate cause. Award -winning and nationally

00:22:26.759 --> 00:22:30.390
syndicated Hoppy Hour podcast. but I'm not bragging.

00:22:30.529 --> 00:22:34.230
It's a mix of a 2000s, 1990s morning show in

00:22:34.230 --> 00:22:37.289
a podcast format. You never know what I might

00:22:37.289 --> 00:22:39.650
talk about. One minute I could be talking about

00:22:39.650 --> 00:22:42.869
the latest with the NFL side chicks, and the

00:22:42.869 --> 00:22:45.529
very next second I could be playing an unknown

00:22:45.529 --> 00:22:49.609
song from the 2000s. My show is an in -studio

00:22:49.609 --> 00:22:53.809
circus for the age group of 18 to 34, even though

00:22:53.809 --> 00:22:56.609
we have 70 -year -olds that listen. For more

00:22:56.609 --> 00:22:59.519
info, if you want to be a sponsor, a friend,

00:22:59.559 --> 00:23:02.240
and no, not a drinking sponsor, a sponsor of

00:23:02.240 --> 00:23:06.819
the show of Hoppy Hour, go to ridethewave .media

00:23:06.819 --> 00:23:11.279
is the website, and ryanhoppyradio at gmail .com.

00:23:11.299 --> 00:23:15.079
Once again, this is Ryan Hoppy of the Hoppy Hour

00:23:15.079 --> 00:23:18.500
podcast, and let's do some business. What's up?

00:23:18.579 --> 00:23:20.839
Ryan Hoppe here, and I want to tell you about

00:23:20.839 --> 00:23:24.259
the Ride the Wave Media Podcast Network. They

00:23:24.259 --> 00:23:26.759
got such great shows. It's Practically Magic,

00:23:27.099 --> 00:23:30.319
Those Guys, Blaine's World, and even my show,

00:23:30.519 --> 00:23:33.279
Hoppe Hour with Ryan Hoppe, which can be heard

00:23:33.279 --> 00:23:36.240
by searching Hoppe Radio. This podcast network

00:23:36.240 --> 00:23:39.819
is going to take over the world. It is everything

00:23:39.819 --> 00:23:42.420
that radio is missing. Now, you're hearing my

00:23:42.420 --> 00:23:45.900
voice, and you go, how can I find it? RideTheWave

00:23:45.900 --> 00:23:49.779
.media is the website. And there has all the

00:23:49.779 --> 00:23:52.660
great podcasts. And once again, this is Ryan

00:23:52.660 --> 00:23:55.920
Hoppe from the Ride the Wave Media Podcast Network.