The Hammerin Hank Show With Henry Ochs & Ryan Hoppe: Episode 56

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What up, Hammer and Hank? How are you? How the

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fuck are you doing, buddy? I'm doing pretty fucking

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good, you just swore. Alright, let's go! You're

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listening to The Hammer and Hank Show with Henry

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Oaks and Ryan Hoppy. The Hammer and Hank Show.

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Hammer and Hank. Legend on the air. Waste free.

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Autistic kingpin. Cali's harder. Wild 949, he

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the voice they need. Doghouse days, laying down

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the creed. Too legit to quit, hammering Hank

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on fire. Mike in hand, lifeline and wire. Face

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day, showing no tire. Underdog champion, always

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going higher. What up, Hank? I'm doing pretty

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good, buddy. How are you? Good. How's your week

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been? I have not talked to you in seven days

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besides texting you. How are you? Extremely good.

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What you been up to this week, bud? Reminiscing

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about the history of pop music with Graham and

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Selena. Wait, were you on air with Graham and

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Selena? Most on the Wild Pods podcast. Oh, you

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were this... Let me turn off the music. Ah, this

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music's so good. One second here. Just gotta

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have a little jam. Make sure you listen back

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after. The music's so good. All right. You were?

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How was it? Pretty good. Man, you're just a man

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around town, Hank. You're killing it. Thank you.

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What did you guys talk about? About jokes, pop

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music, and my national anthem. What is your national

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anthem? Excuse me. Is this Wednesday at the Modern

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Women Field in Modesto? Home of the Modesto Roadsters.

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Did you find a ride? Not yet. We're going to

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hit up Alex or whatever. Everybody's got connections.

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You're a well -connected man, Hank. I would say

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I get on that. I did not know that until now.

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You didn't know what? I'm a well -connected man

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until now. Hey, you're on more radio shows than

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me. You're on Woody, you're on Wild 94 .1, JV

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and Selena, or Selena and Grandmother, Rest in

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Peace, JV. You're killing it, Hank. Thank you,

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buddy. You're welcome. What is your radio memory

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besides doing the podcast this week? My radio

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memory this week? Mm -hmm. It's when we talked

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about JV's life back in 2023. What? 2022, I'm

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sorry. It was February 2023, I believe. 2023,

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yep. Yes. We talked about J .B. Sive and how

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I had to run into the water and find a dark bathroom

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to capture some chickens and hurt my ankle. Man,

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you were a warrior for that show. You did a lot,

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Hank. I'm proud of you. You're a legend. Mm -hmm.

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Thank you, buddy. You're welcome. Hammer and

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Hank, any other memories? Also, I won a radio

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contest from KLOK in San Jose way back in 1988.

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What did you win? A church cassette. How was

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that? What did you do with it? I had to be the

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first call to identify a song lyric. It was My

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Sweet Lord by George Harrison. How many radio

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contests did you win? A few. Man, you are just,

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you are a man around town. Always busy, Hank.

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Go, buddy. Eight, five, oh, fuck, I forgot. I

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forgot to get the soccer jokes. But you're right,

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I will, I will read the jokes for soccer. Let

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me get that real quick. But let me hit the music

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and we'll do the dirty jokes, okay? All right.

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A one, a second. Woke up this morning, spilled

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my coffee cup. Should have known today I'd have

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some messed up luck. Henry Oaks and Ryan Hoppy

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on the show. Making jokes so bad I can't help

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but glow. Hank says, why did What are the jokes

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for this week? Why did I bring a ladder on a

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date? Why? Because she said she likes guys who

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take things to the next level. Why do I always

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wear cologne on the first date? Why do you always

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what? Wear cologne on the first date. Why? Because

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my personality needs all the help it can get.

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I don't agree with that, but it's an okay joke.

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Why did you invite me over to watch a movie?

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Why? Because apparently nobody ever actually

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finished a movie. Because you're busy banging.

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Why did I buy extra breath mints? Why did you

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buy breath mints? Because Optimus is free. Why

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did I shave before my first date? Why did you

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shave before your first date, Hanky? Because

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hope springs eternal. Ah, geez. Why did I ask

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if I wanted dessert? Why do you want dessert?

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Because she wanted to see if I could handle something

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sweet. Oh, yeah, you know what I'm saying. Why

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did I always clean my apartment before a date?

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Why? To get a blowjob? Because I'd hate for someone

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to think I live like this. Why do I put clean

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sheets on the bed? Why? Because calmness is important

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and so is the fabric softener. Why do I love

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filtering so much? Why do you love what? Filtering

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so much. Why? Because it's the only sport where

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bad jokes can actually help. Why did I bring

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gum on my date? Why? Because I'd rather be overprepared

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than mindless and humiliated. That's a long one.

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And that's it for the jokes. Alright, Hank. Let

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me do something real quick. We have a comment

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here. It says, Hank, I have been a fan of you

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since your first time on KCRH. Keep up the good

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work. We got a long time listener. First time,

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whatever it is. Hank, you're killing it, dude.

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You're a legend. You're the greatest of all time.

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You're the best around. Nobody's going to keep

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you down. You're the best around. All righty.

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Hanky. I am loading up something real quick,

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but everybody can... They can leave us a voicemail.

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856 -49 -HOPPY. That's 856 -494 -6773. Hank,

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what is your Twitter? DJ Hank. All right, Hank.

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And my Instagram is at DJ Hank. All right, I

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got some soccer jokes. And also, I got this...

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going right now in the club. Got some soccer

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music in the background. Ah, here are the jokes,

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Hank. Okay, buddy. Why did the soccer player

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bring string to the game? I don't know, buddy.

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So he could tie the score. Why are soccer players

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great at doing chores? I don't know, buddy. Because

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they know how to sweep. Why did the soccer ball

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quit the team? I don't know. I don't know. Because

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it was tired of getting kicked around. That's

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interesting. Why do soccer players do well? Why

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don't soccer players do well in school? I don't

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know. Because they spend too much time kicking

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back. That's interesting. What tea do soccer

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players drink? I don't know. Penalty. I love

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it. Why was the soccer field always wet? I don't

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know. Because the players dribbled all over it.

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Is it distinct? Get it? Like dribble? Like pee?

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Get it? Why do, what do soccer players eat before

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a big game? I don't know. Golden Grahams. Get

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it? Golden. I did eat Golden Grahams back in

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the day. Yeah, you did, bud. Why did the goalie

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bring a ladder? I don't know. He wanted to reach

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new heights. I don't know. Why? I love how that's

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your line. That's right. It's interesting. That

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would be like going to a comedy show and being

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like, hey, Sam Morrell, that's interesting. Anyway,

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what do you call a soccer player who loves music?

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What is it? A golden oldie. I love oldies. Yeah,

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I know you do. Why was the soccer coach always

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calm? Why is the soccer coach always cold? Calm.

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Calm. Because he knew how to keep his goals in

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mind. That's interesting. I love you, dude. That

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should be the name of the episode. That's interesting.

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Hey, it says right here. What are your opinions

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on MTV? It fucking sucks. I used to love watching

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MTV back in the 80s when they played nothing

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but rock videos and then rock concerts. Yeah.

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And now it fucking sucks. What sucks about it?

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All those stupid ridiculousness episodes. Bro,

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I feel like they just put ridiculousness on for

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like, first of all, it was only on for like 11

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years, but there were like over 400 episodes.

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So that was this new episode that was so cheap

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to make. It was just crazy. It was insanity.

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Yep, it sucks because that's the only way they

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can save money. Do you like Jersey? Because they

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don't want to air music videos anymore. Because

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they don't want to get confronted by the music

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industry. That is not a bad point. Hank, what

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do you think of Jersey Shore? I hate that show.

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No, I love Jersey Shore. It's great. There's

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a song called Opposites Attracts by Paul Abdul.

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And what does it have to do with Jersey Shore,

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bud? A lot. No, no, no, boy. Yes, I hate Jersey

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Shore, and you love it. Oh, Opposites Attract,

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got it. What is your take on the Stanley Cup?

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I think Carolina wins it all. I went to a game.

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So I would go to North Carolina for Thanksgiving

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in the 2000s and early 2010s. And we would usually

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go to like a Bobcats game, which is now the Hornets

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again. But in 2011, there was the NBA lockout

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for like a month. Didn't begin until Christmas.

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And I cannot believe that was 15 years ago. And

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we went to a Hurricanes game. So I'm rooting

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for them. Cool, buddy. That's what you always

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say. Hank, if I hit the music. Are you ready

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for trivia? Yes. Let me hit the music. Let's

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go. your knowledge up. Take a sleep. I hate sleep.

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What is your trivia? What is your top ten hit

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record? Don't expect me to be your friend way

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back in 1972. That is a mean song. The Doobie

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Brothers? Nope. Lobo. I've never heard of them.

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I know RoboCop. What is your big hit record?

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Loopy Loop back in 1962. The Beatles! Nope. Johnny

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Thunder. I've never heard. It was his only hit

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record. Sounds like a porn star. Who had the

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number one hit record? Next time I fall. It was

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the top ten hit record on the adult contemporary

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charts in 1986. Next time I fall. You are a real

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life Casey. What was the name of the guy? That

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was a terrible point. Casey Kasem. We got a Casey

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Kasem here. I don't know. Let me think. The Cars.

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Nope. Peter Cetera and Amy Grant, who is the

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Madonna of gospel music. My mom listened to her.

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Hank, you do realize I was born in 1993, right?

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And don't really have memories till 98. Why don't

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you ever pick music from when I was alive? I

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don't know. Maybe next time. Who sang the song

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Hit Em Up Style in O -Line? Luke Cantrell. Who

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sang the song in 06 20 years ago, Promiscuous

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Girl? Promiscuous Girl? That would be... Let

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me think. You got this. Nelly Ricardo. Good job.

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Who sang the... Let me think here. Who rapped

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the song Lean With It, Rock With It? I don't

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know. Dumb Franchise. Dude, you don't know that.

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They probably played it on Wild. Anyway, Hammer

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and Hank, if I hit the music. Are you ready for

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a buddy of the week? Yes. We need some positivity

00:14:59.500 --> 00:15:07.340
in this club. Mm -hmm. Yo. Yo. Tune in to the

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show. It's Hammer and Hank. Mm -hmm. Oh. Autistic

00:15:10.169 --> 00:15:12.850
genius always keeping it dank. Henry Oaks on

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the mic. Hop, ride, and shotgun. Roll call for

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the buddies. We just having some fun. Buddy of

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the week. We're going to get the crown. I ain't

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bringing smiles. Shut the haters down. On the

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airwaves. We're breaking the code. Streetwise

00:15:26.850 --> 00:15:30.870
vibes on this radio. All right, Hank. Who's your

00:15:30.870 --> 00:15:34.590
buddy of the week? Beth Leakes, Graham, and Selena.

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What do they do to deserve to be buddies? And

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Jesse. They invited me on the Wild Thoughts podcast

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and also talked about music on Instagram. What

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was the best part about the segment? I don't

00:15:54.700 --> 00:15:58.720
know. The best part about the segment is we got

00:15:58.720 --> 00:16:04.279
to do whatever we want. I got Jack off to female

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pop artist. Got it. You come out of nowhere with

00:16:09.950 --> 00:16:16.309
this. You are just tanky. Now, when you're about

00:16:16.309 --> 00:16:22.730
to spank it, how do you get Smurfette to leave

00:16:22.730 --> 00:16:28.549
you alone? She goes for a walk. How often does

00:16:28.549 --> 00:16:32.889
she go for a walk? About 20 minutes. How long

00:16:32.889 --> 00:16:37.539
does it take you? About 20 minutes. Me too. I

00:16:37.539 --> 00:16:40.340
got anxiety. Now, if I got blue balls from a

00:16:40.340 --> 00:16:43.899
date, it's a lot easier. I'm sure you got blue

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balls, you know, in that blowjob you got at Sound

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Factory. Mm -hmm. I got my dick sucked up to

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Sound Factory in 1998. Hell yeah! Did she use

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teeth? A ton. Oh, God, it's the worst. It's always

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Swifties and religious girls. I have her at Hank.

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I'm going to hit the music. Are you ready for

00:17:03.879 --> 00:17:09.250
prick of the week? Alright. Do you have a prick?

00:17:10.130 --> 00:17:17.609
No, I don't. It's for Mark Apple. Who's that?

00:17:18.150 --> 00:17:27.170
Back in 2008. He let me go. Loser! No, not you.

00:17:27.170 --> 00:17:32.369
Mark Apple's a fucking loser. Yeah, he sounds

00:17:32.369 --> 00:17:35.730
like an absolute twat. What's he doing now? Picking

00:17:35.730 --> 00:17:42.230
his nose? Probably nothing. He tried a website

00:17:42.230 --> 00:17:45.150
called whoscoyhiringme .com and it didn't do

00:17:45.150 --> 00:17:49.529
too well. Who's going to hire me? whoscoyhiringme

00:17:49.529 --> 00:17:52.609
.com That's a terrible name for a website. Aaron

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Hank! What are your goals in life? Try to get

00:17:57.970 --> 00:18:02.670
back into commercial radio. We have this discussion.

00:18:04.250 --> 00:18:06.710
However, Hank, you do know you're on the Woody

00:18:06.710 --> 00:18:10.609
Show, you're on Graham and Selena, JV Show. What

00:18:10.609 --> 00:18:16.970
more do you need? I want to test your knowledge

00:18:16.970 --> 00:18:22.589
about more of the history of pop music. What

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got you into pop music, bud? I used to listen

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to K -L -O -K in San Jose way back in the 70s

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and 80s. Mm -hmm. Did you listen to that K -M

00:18:36.630 --> 00:18:39.970
-E -L morning show in the 80s? The morning show?

00:18:40.390 --> 00:18:43.769
Yeah. I listened to it for a bit. Did you not

00:18:43.769 --> 00:18:48.789
like it? It was okay. It was whatever it is.

00:18:49.230 --> 00:18:54.009
Haver and Hank, what else is on your mind? Well...

00:18:57.579 --> 00:19:03.140
I'm coughing. Anything else? And also, I got

00:19:03.140 --> 00:19:05.440
to give a shout out to all my buddies out there.

00:19:05.640 --> 00:19:11.039
I love you very, very, very, very much. We've

00:19:11.039 --> 00:19:15.059
been recording for 19 minutes and a second. I

00:19:15.059 --> 00:19:18.220
only talk to you once a week. So is there anything

00:19:18.220 --> 00:19:24.559
else? Yes. What's up? I'll keep masturbating

00:19:24.559 --> 00:19:28.359
to female pop artists. Hell yeah! Who are you

00:19:28.359 --> 00:19:33.099
going to jerk off to tonight? Hi, Sabrina Carpenter

00:19:33.099 --> 00:19:35.859
or Britney Spears. That's who Britney Spears

00:19:35.859 --> 00:19:38.420
is. I would say Sabrina Carpenter or Britney

00:19:38.420 --> 00:19:44.519
Spears. Do you just live or do you just dry as

00:19:44.519 --> 00:19:50.630
hell? I just dry as hell. That's not good. Yeah.

00:19:50.670 --> 00:19:53.970
I got to give a big shout out to all my fans

00:19:53.970 --> 00:19:56.730
out there. I love you very, very much. Wait,

00:19:56.730 --> 00:19:59.509
wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,

00:19:59.509 --> 00:20:02.410
wait, wait, wait, wait. Got to hit the music.

00:20:05.750 --> 00:20:11.990
Sign us off. I got to see you next week. Peace

00:20:11.990 --> 00:20:16.329
in your hood. Bye Hank. Peace in your hood. Bye.

00:20:16.329 --> 00:20:19.150
And there you go on Zoom. Like that? He's gone.

00:20:37.710 --> 00:20:41.089
Mike Crackle, Hammerin' Hank on the tackle Autistic

00:20:41.089 --> 00:20:43.369
mind sharper than a bone -chilling shackle Henry

00:20:43.369 --> 00:20:45.910
Oates with the hops, Ryan hop in the spot Radio

00:20:45.910 --> 00:20:48.750
waves hittin' hard like a chef with a pot Farewell,

00:20:48.809 --> 00:20:51.390
Hammerin' Hank, gotta close up the show Legend

00:20:51.390 --> 00:20:54.269
in the booth where the vibes used to flow Autism

00:20:54.269 --> 00:20:56.750
warrior, always runnin' the glow But all good

00:20:56.750 --> 00:20:59.150
things gotta let the curtain go slow On the dial,

00:20:59.269 --> 00:21:01.829
spittin' truth with his unique grind Thoughts

00:21:01.829 --> 00:21:04.470
intertwined like graffiti on the line Ryan on

00:21:04.470 --> 00:21:08.230
the mic, Henry's rhythm divine Every beat they

00:21:08.230 --> 00:21:10.690
design. Static in the speakers where the laughter

00:21:10.690 --> 00:21:13.289
used to ride. Hank led the show with that beautiful

00:21:13.289 --> 00:21:16.009
pride. Autism didn't stop him, not amplified.

00:21:16.690 --> 00:21:19.670
Hammer and Hank, forever immortalized. Farewell,

00:21:19.670 --> 00:21:22.329
Hammer and Hank, gotta close up the show. Legend

00:21:22.329 --> 00:21:25.230
in the booth where the vibes used to flow. Autism

00:21:25.230 --> 00:21:27.710
warrior, always running the glow. But all good

00:21:27.710 --> 00:21:30.609
things gotta let the curtain go slow. Radio go,

00:21:30.730 --> 00:21:32.990
never ghost. He a host with the sauce. Henry

00:21:32.990 --> 00:21:35.619
Oaks and Ryan Hart, lightning never lost. Puzzle

00:21:35.619 --> 00:21:38.079
piece crown, man. This dude was the boss. City

00:21:38.079 --> 00:22:11.130
missed the voice. That's the ultimate cost. farewell

00:22:11.130 --> 00:22:13.970
hammer and hank gotta close up the show legend

00:22:13.970 --> 00:22:16.690
in the booth where the vibes used to flow autism

00:22:16.690 --> 00:22:19.289
warrior always running the glow but all good

00:22:19.289 --> 00:22:31.910
things gotta let the curtain go slow radio gate

00:22:31.910 --> 00:22:34.589
never goes he a host with the sauce henry oaks

00:22:34.589 --> 00:22:37.049
and ryan harp lightning never lost puzzle piece

00:22:37.049 --> 00:22:41.509
crown man this dude was the the ultimate cause.

00:23:02.809 --> 00:23:06.410
Award -winning and nationally syndicated Hoppy

00:23:06.410 --> 00:23:09.690
Hour Podcast. but I'm not bragging. It's a mix

00:23:09.690 --> 00:23:13.849
of a 2000s, 1990s morning show in a podcast format.

00:23:14.029 --> 00:23:16.930
You never know what I might talk about. One minute

00:23:16.930 --> 00:23:19.009
I could be talking about the latest with the

00:23:19.009 --> 00:23:22.730
NFL side chicks, and the very next second I could

00:23:22.730 --> 00:23:25.869
be playing an unknown song from the 2000s. My

00:23:25.869 --> 00:23:30.329
show is an in -studio circus for the age group

00:23:30.329 --> 00:23:33.210
of 18 to 34, even though we have 70 -year -olds

00:23:33.210 --> 00:23:35.980
that listen. For For more info, if you want to

00:23:35.980 --> 00:23:38.940
be a sponsor, a friend, and no, not a drinking

00:23:38.940 --> 00:23:41.720
sponsor, a sponsor of the show of Hoppy Hour,

00:23:41.920 --> 00:23:46.660
go to ridethewave .media is the website, and

00:23:46.660 --> 00:23:50.799
ryanhoppyradio at gmail .com. Once again, this

00:23:50.799 --> 00:23:54.579
is Ryan Hoppy of the Hoppy Hour podcast, and

00:23:54.579 --> 00:23:57.609
let's do some business. What's up? Ryan Hoppe

00:23:57.609 --> 00:23:59.910
here, and I want to tell you about the Ride the

00:23:59.910 --> 00:24:03.410
Wave Media Podcast Network. They got such great

00:24:03.410 --> 00:24:07.210
shows. It's Practically Magic, Those Guys, Blaine's

00:24:07.210 --> 00:24:10.430
World, and even my show, Hoppe Hour with Ryan

00:24:10.430 --> 00:24:12.509
Hoppe, which can be heard by searching Hoppe

00:24:12.509 --> 00:24:16.009
Radio. This podcast network is going to take

00:24:16.009 --> 00:24:19.069
over the world. It is everything that radio is

00:24:19.069 --> 00:24:21.250
missing. Now, you're hearing my voice, and you

00:24:21.250 --> 00:24:25.309
go, how can I find it? RideTheWave .media is

00:24:25.309 --> 00:24:28.750
the website. and there has all the great podcasts.

00:24:29.130 --> 00:24:32.390
And once again, this is Ryan Hoppe from the Ride

00:24:32.390 --> 00:24:34.230
the Wave Media Podcast Network.