Pizza Party Day! (Hoppe Hour With Ryan Hoppe: 5.16.26)

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Puppy Hour starts live in less than 10 minutes.

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Stand by. Oh, this is very strange. Now, I first

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liked Clavicular. But now he's getting weird.

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He's describing women's orgasms as a return on

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investment, as an ROI. Oh, I'm sure that's going

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to make the girls stop tearing down. Not important.

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How come? Well, because, you know, the amount

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of extra effort that's required to do that is

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just not going to really have much ROI. So...

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You know where I'm going. They're laughing at

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you, you dummy. Man, the club is real! messed

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up these key. It's true. I mean, really. That

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means return on investment. You know, you're

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going to have to spend at least an extra half

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hour more than you usually would. Oh, heaven

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forbid you hang out with the girl. Clavicle seems

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like one of those dudes that he climaxes, grabs

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the tissue, and is like, bye! You can leave.

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I try to be nice. Sometimes the girls will sleep

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over, or sometimes I'll hang out. And sometimes

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if they leave immediately, I'm like, yeah, that

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was not my best performance. and she can play

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into Jack Daniels doing some... That's not true.

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It depends on the girl. They don't just... Dude,

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there are girls that can finish. Oh, yeah. Especially

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the cheat code there. What is the cheat code?

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I'm going to give some oral advice, but I got

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to keep it kind of clean. Mm -hmm. Although,

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I don't know if it's possible to give oral advice

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without being dirty, but I had a bisexual girlfriend,

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so she knew how to please women. All I'm going

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to say is, get on it, dude. Lick every pie. You

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know where to clip the horses? Just to the left,

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to the right. To the left, to the right. It's

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boring. Use your finger, and to the left, and

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to the right. That's all you gotta do. You don't

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need to... Lick it like it's a popsicle. Mm -hmm.

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Just to the left, to the right. To be honest,

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if you're just doing one -night stands, it doesn't

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matter, right? But if you're trying to satisfy

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a partner and maintain a long term... To the

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left, to the right. ...relationship, having that...

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Yes, your fingers. ...enjoy the experience is

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obviously important. The work around there, the

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ultimate solution is a vibrator, dude. Oh, yeah.

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I am not a fan of vibrators. I'm not against

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vibrators. if a girl wants to bring in vibrators.

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Like my first girlfriend, we went to a sex shop

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and got a vibrator. That's because I wasn't doing

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it. Wow. Now if a girl's alone and she misses

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you, that's one thing to have a vibrator. But

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if you're consistently having to use a vibrator.

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Although, I will say, and this is a dirtier show

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than usual. Sometimes when you're trying to get

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your ass up and you put the vibrator next to

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it. It feels good. It completely eliminates that

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entire effort. That's kind of like cocked in

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my opinion. No pun intended. You really think

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so? Yeah, I would say so because think about

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it, right? Now you're sitting there with some

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stupid vibrator. You know what I mean? Man, people

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overthink women. I don't understand women. But

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I also just kind of go like, whatever happens,

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happens. There was a girl, I don't know, there's

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been a few girls, and I'm like, if it happens

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with us, it happens with us. You know what I

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mean? I don't, I'm not saying I don't take life

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seriously, but it's like, if we get married,

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we get married. Because I don't want kids, okay?

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But I do know. It'd be nice to, you know, find

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someone. But I want my marriage to be my one

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and only. I know nobody gets married wanting

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to get a divorce, but I really don't want to

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go through a divorce. This is very strange. Clavicular

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also, he also talked about how he shapes his

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jaw by a hammer and now has three girlfriends

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and counting. Clavicular, let me give you some

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advice. Listen to me, buddy. There have been

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times. I'm currently talking to one girl. But

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even now, we talk every few days. But there was

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a point. And let's go on a little memory. It

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was October 2023. I automatically just quit at

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Beasley Media Group. And I was on the dating

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apps. And you know what happened? I'm going to

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tell you what happened. All of a sudden, I am

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having sex with four different girls in a month.

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I am. It was the best. But you know what I did?

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I went on my podcast. And I did it with that

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nightclub douchebag DJ. And what happened was...

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I ended up bragging about it. Oh, I had sex with

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this girl, this girl, this girl, this girl. And

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you know what happened? All of a sudden, all

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four girls stopped talking to me. Now, granted,

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they were obviously talking to other guys. But

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when the man says it. Don't kiss and tell. You

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did bone smash as a youth. Yes. That's not like

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a joke. You actually took a hammer to your face

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to shape your jawbone. Yeah, well, it's all on

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YouTube. Did it work? Yeah. It's just hard to

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exactly pinpoint what percentage came from taking

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tests or what percentage came from bone smashing

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or just regular puberty. And he needs a lot of

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mental health help. So that I couldn't answer.

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Did your parents really have to hide the hammers

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around the house. They did. That was not a joke.

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How many hammers were there? I would say probably

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did it like three or four times. So I had to

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switch to this baseball trophy, which is a pretty

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famous prop. I've still been looking for it because

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everyone's been wanting me to find that souvenir.

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Right now I'm dating a couple of girls, actually.

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Yeah, that ain't it done. Because one of them

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Probably thinks you're exclusive. Got a harem

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going on. How many? Three, soon to be four. Are

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they friends? No, they don't get along. Oh, it's

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getting better, actually. Well, that's going

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to blow up in your face. Liz opens up about not

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being supported by her label. Liz, you're out

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of your mind. You think the whole world revolves

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around you. Like, I don't know. I feel like...

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Why'd you wipe your nose during that video at

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the grounds? There's not any marketing money

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being put towards all of my ideas. Yeah, probably

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because your ideas suck. And also, it's like

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we're in a recession. Why don't you find it yourself?

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Like, I had an idea. I had a meeting. We had

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a meeting a month ago with, like, a bunch of

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incredible ideas. None of them have been implemented.

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That's what happens. Not every idea happens.

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I text them weekly things that I want to see

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done in the digital space. Can you imagine her

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emails and messages? Oh, my God. This is how

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I was messaging last week, John. Ideas and things

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I want to make. I don't see them get done. I

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don't see them. I'm starting to really, really,

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really feel. How do you think I feel? When you

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work at radio stations and you know your idea

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is good and it works. But people gatekeep. You

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know what you got to do, listen? You got to do

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it yourself. I'm down about it because I feel

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helpless. It's like, what can I do? What more

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can I do? Keep grinding. That's how I feel every

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day. Today I woke up at 11 a .m. and I did not

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want to get up. And here I am recording. You

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just keep working. You know. I don't know, babe.

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I've been on TV. Good for you. I've done a lot

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of things in my life, but guess what? That's

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in the past. I've been, like, posting every fucking

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day. I be posting to the songs. I've got two

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music videos. It's about damn time. Get what

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I did there. Put them out. I'm like, damn. Like,

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what the fuck else do I need to do? Like, right

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now, I'm literally. Keep grinding. And maybe,

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you know, you know, be sexually creepy around

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your assistants and your backup dancers. Mm -hmm.

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That might actually help out your car. If you

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had to come up with ideas to like do more marketing,

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but it's like in 2026, unless you're a brand

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new artist or somebody no one's ever heard of.

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And it's getting, you know, you need to go independent,

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honey. And I'll finally like finally getting

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recognized. It's really hard to cut the fuck

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through. Like I'll do it yourself. How old are

00:10:19.690 --> 00:10:22.120
you? So I can base my opinion off of your age.

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Lizzo's age. You're 30. You're going to be 40

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in two years. Man, black don't crack. But I'm

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being serious. You need to do it yourself. Because

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they ain't going to help you. Companies don't

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want to spend money. You got to do it yourself.

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You can't rely on others. And you're giving them

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all the power. You doing good? I'm doing great.

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Drank a lot last night. I have some stomach pain,

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so I hope my liver's okay. Attention, FM DJs.

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Your morning show prep begins now. Loud, rude,

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aggressive. And those are his good qualities.

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A sick person with a powerful tool. Welcome to

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Happy Hour. Doors closing. Hi, this is Ryan Hoppy's

00:11:32.870 --> 00:11:35.389
mom, and you're listening to Hoppy Hour. Welcome

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back to Hoppy Hour with Ryan Hoppy. Yes, now.

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What? Now, now, now, now. If I hit this button,

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boom, the whole program's going to start. Okay,

00:11:48.950 --> 00:12:09.120
we'll hit it. All right. was so big. And now,

00:12:09.220 --> 00:12:11.840
something completely different. Hoppy Hour starts

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in 4, 3, 2, Hoppy, Hoppy, Hoppy. This is Hoppy

00:12:19.559 --> 00:12:59.450
Hour with Hoppy. It's time for Hoppy's Inbox,

00:12:59.610 --> 00:13:04.740
only on Hoppy Hour with Ryan Hoppy. Yes! How

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are you guys? You doing good? I don't really

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care. I got a lot of messages that I'll go to

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the grave not reading about my segment making

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fun of Jeff Dye bitching and crying and moaning

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like a little bitch that he didn't make the cut

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for the Kill Tony WrestleMania segment. I got

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a few comments here. Ryan! Who do you think you

00:13:25.950 --> 00:13:31.409
are? Jeff Dye has starred in many comedy specials

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and sitcoms. And you're doing a podcast. Next

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comment. This channel's trash. Listen to me.

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And you listen to me very carefully. By no means

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am I applauding myself on the back. But I'm going

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to applaud myself. Wait, pat myself on the back,

00:13:55.360 --> 00:13:59.320
not applaud myself. That'd be pretty hard. I'm

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doing it right now. I've worked with a lot of

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comedians. I've interviewed probably, I don't

00:14:06.840 --> 00:14:13.159
know, 30, 40 of them. Been around about 100 ,000

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of them with Reverend Kelton, Steve Dahl. Let

00:14:16.220 --> 00:14:21.259
me tell you, they are not your friends. The reason

00:14:21.259 --> 00:14:24.720
they are comedians is because they have no friends.

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They don't know how to interact with people,

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and they're unhappy. So you know what they do?

00:14:30.960 --> 00:14:32.960
They go into comedy because that's the way they

00:14:32.960 --> 00:14:37.919
get acceptance from the world. Oh, my God. I've

00:14:37.919 --> 00:14:42.159
told you. You've got to listen to me. I know

00:14:42.159 --> 00:14:44.860
a thing or two. Hop Daddy knows what he's talking

00:14:44.860 --> 00:14:50.679
about. Maybe not, but I'm telling you. They don't

00:14:50.679 --> 00:14:53.799
care about you. They don't know you exist. They

00:14:53.799 --> 00:15:00.799
view you as a way to make money. Oh, yeah. Last

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night, I drank a lot. Remember like three years

00:15:04.059 --> 00:15:07.139
ago when I was like, I ain't drinking anymore.

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Yeah, I never really fell off the wagon because

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I was never really on the wagon. But I got three

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daughters brewing orange creams called vodka

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seltzers. Did not really feel much from it, but

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it tasted good. And I was at the pool laying

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down, you know, getting some sun. And I saw the

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ice cream man. So, of course, I had to get ice

00:15:36.820 --> 00:15:39.580
cream. I haven't had ice cream from the ice cream

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man probably since the latest 08. The poor guy,

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he had an Android phone, and his touch -to -touch

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Apple Pay was not working, because I got a Sonic

00:15:55.720 --> 00:16:01.480
the Hedgehog, and I got a birthday cake ice cream

00:16:01.480 --> 00:16:05.889
sandwich. Oh, that was delicious. But of course,

00:16:05.909 --> 00:16:08.769
I'm already a little tipsy, and it's now working.

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And it didn't work for anybody that was in line,

00:16:11.309 --> 00:16:13.909
so I think it was his technology. So then I had

00:16:13.909 --> 00:16:17.350
to go upstairs, go to the second floor, get my

00:16:17.350 --> 00:16:21.169
car keys, and I had to go to my car, get the

00:16:21.169 --> 00:16:23.769
debit card, and make sure I don't lose it. Oh,

00:16:23.830 --> 00:16:27.690
my God. I forgot how much I love the ice cream

00:16:27.690 --> 00:16:33.250
truck. Mm -hmm. Oh, sure. I got it. Whatever.

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That was a fun time. Made me realize I'm so old.

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Cause like I'm in line with like 10 year olds.

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It's like I seen out of like Elf or something.

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I'm very hot. His didn't do this. But the ones

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in Illinois would go. Hello? And then it would

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go on for another 30 seconds. Then it would be

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like, anyone there? I might be Mandela affecting

00:17:12.440 --> 00:17:14.000
that, but I think I remember the trucks doing

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that, at least in Arlington Heights, Illinois.

00:17:16.559 --> 00:17:21.299
Had a hard time saying that. By the way, I had

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a weird freaking dream last night. So where I

00:17:26.279 --> 00:17:29.440
grew up in Arlington Heights, Illinois, for those

00:17:29.440 --> 00:17:33.000
listening in Illinois, you get off that Northwest

00:17:33.000 --> 00:17:39.009
Highway. Off of the Highway 53. You go down to

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Wilkie. And you turn left. And there used to

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be the racetrack. And then there's a train station.

00:17:47.069 --> 00:17:49.809
I used to walk to that train station for internships

00:17:49.809 --> 00:17:55.589
in the city. And I had a dream last night that

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I was on the CTA. Man, my voice sounds rough.

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You can tell I had four beers last night. And

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I got off the train. I started walking home and

00:18:09.109 --> 00:18:11.970
I really had to pee. It's probably because I

00:18:11.970 --> 00:18:13.450
had to really pee in real life because I had

00:18:13.450 --> 00:18:15.890
like four tall boys last night and four vodka

00:18:15.890 --> 00:18:21.369
seltzers. So I decide to go behind this guy's

00:18:21.369 --> 00:18:25.509
yard and pee. And then there's like security

00:18:25.509 --> 00:18:27.609
camera footage and they're watching some sports

00:18:27.609 --> 00:18:31.730
game. And he comes out and goes, Javi, what are

00:18:31.730 --> 00:18:34.440
you doing? Which, first of all, that would not

00:18:34.440 --> 00:18:36.339
happen in Illinois because no one really knows

00:18:36.339 --> 00:18:39.640
who I am there. Yeah, I had a cult following

00:18:39.640 --> 00:18:43.700
at WNUR 89 .3 when I was at Northwestern Radio.

00:18:44.619 --> 00:18:46.859
But I'm more known in Cleveland and Tampa. But

00:18:46.859 --> 00:18:48.220
the guy's like, ah, dude, what are you doing?

00:18:48.599 --> 00:18:51.700
And I try to run. Then another guy stops me.

00:18:51.720 --> 00:18:53.960
And we just talked for a minute about me pissing

00:18:53.960 --> 00:18:57.019
in his yarn. Then I proceeded to walk home. And

00:18:57.019 --> 00:18:58.980
I woke up. And I was like, that was a weird freaking

00:18:58.980 --> 00:19:02.890
dream. And then... On accident, because it was

00:19:02.890 --> 00:19:04.250
a weird dream, I was kind of having a little

00:19:04.250 --> 00:19:07.549
bit of a panic attack. And you know what I did?

00:19:08.109 --> 00:19:12.289
I kicked my cat in the head. It's her fault!

00:19:13.089 --> 00:19:16.789
Who sleeps at the end of the bed? I literally

00:19:16.789 --> 00:19:18.970
set up the whole pillowcase so she can sleep

00:19:18.970 --> 00:19:22.369
next to my head. I probably move around too much.

00:19:23.609 --> 00:19:26.509
That was my morning. You know what's been cracking

00:19:26.509 --> 00:19:29.150
me up? It's these freaking algorithms online.

00:19:30.539 --> 00:19:33.460
So I have a friend named Tim, probably my favorite

00:19:33.460 --> 00:19:36.119
cab attender ever. One of my closest friends.

00:19:37.019 --> 00:19:41.599
He also has the same birthday as me. And something

00:19:41.599 --> 00:19:45.839
funny happened. So he loves to go scuba diving

00:19:45.839 --> 00:19:48.720
and he loves to go on boats. The dude loves being

00:19:48.720 --> 00:19:52.640
outside. He's honestly inspires me to go out

00:19:52.640 --> 00:19:56.460
and live life. And what happened was he caught

00:19:56.460 --> 00:19:59.859
a mammoth tooth and he made a post about it.

00:20:00.850 --> 00:20:04.069
And this one guy wrote a troll account and was

00:20:04.069 --> 00:20:06.690
like, that looks like a piece of poop. And me

00:20:06.690 --> 00:20:08.509
and Tim talked about it at the bar. And I was

00:20:08.509 --> 00:20:10.930
like, bro, I'm proud of you. Ignore those losers.

00:20:12.430 --> 00:20:16.009
And this post was from like May 4th. May the

00:20:16.009 --> 00:20:18.769
4th be with you. But then happened on like, we

00:20:18.769 --> 00:20:22.099
talked about it on like May 10th. Of course.

00:20:22.359 --> 00:20:25.259
I go on Facebook on my laptop. What is the very

00:20:25.259 --> 00:20:28.619
first post? It's Tim's Bob. I'm looking at the

00:20:28.619 --> 00:20:32.019
Charlotte Bobcats on my screen. It's Tim's mammoth

00:20:32.019 --> 00:20:37.339
tooth. The funds are listening to us. The hell?

00:20:38.220 --> 00:20:41.500
I'm not that interesting, I promise. You don't

00:20:41.500 --> 00:20:45.140
have to listen to me. You hear a lot of me venting

00:20:45.140 --> 00:20:47.680
to my friends and having panic attacks. I'm not

00:20:47.680 --> 00:20:51.950
that interesting. And if you think I'm interesting

00:20:51.950 --> 00:20:54.650
because of my radio show, you're a cloud chaser.

00:20:56.690 --> 00:21:01.490
That was very strange. It's been funny. So on

00:21:01.490 --> 00:21:05.630
social media with the algorithms, they're not

00:21:05.630 --> 00:21:09.349
allowed to say shoot. Like, oh, this person was

00:21:09.349 --> 00:21:13.230
shot or shoot. So if it's a caption like. There

00:21:13.230 --> 00:21:16.210
was a shooting in Atlanta outside of a nightclub.

00:21:16.269 --> 00:21:23.329
It looks like there was a shitting. Absolutely

00:21:23.329 --> 00:21:25.950
hilarious. So every time I see it, I just thought,

00:21:26.049 --> 00:21:30.009
who's shitting it? What are you doing? Make it

00:21:30.009 --> 00:21:33.769
to the toilet. I'm like, oh, shooting. That algorithm

00:21:33.769 --> 00:21:37.430
thing where there's the asterisk is so stupid.

00:21:38.039 --> 00:21:41.500
What are you doing? Is the algorithm that pussified?

00:21:43.339 --> 00:21:47.299
That we can't have the word murder or shooting

00:21:47.299 --> 00:21:51.400
without triggering people? You're a bunch of

00:21:51.400 --> 00:21:54.599
bitches. Gotta be careful not to lose my voice

00:21:54.599 --> 00:21:56.740
today. Because sometimes I'll be doing my theatrical

00:21:56.740 --> 00:22:00.319
voice like this. And the next day I'm like...

00:22:00.319 --> 00:22:06.009
By the way... We have a new listener. That's

00:22:06.009 --> 00:22:08.710
a part of Hoppies Homies. Remember when I tried

00:22:08.710 --> 00:22:11.650
to make merchandise? I don't know, 11 years ago.

00:22:11.849 --> 00:22:14.970
I was trying to be like Bubba the Sponge with

00:22:14.970 --> 00:22:20.029
his Bubba Army. And this guy named Ryan Redbeard

00:22:20.029 --> 00:22:24.309
on Twitter came up with Hoppies Homies. Never

00:22:24.309 --> 00:22:28.630
quite took off, but it was a good try. Well,

00:22:28.829 --> 00:22:33.799
we have a new Hoppies Homies. Her name is Callie.

00:22:35.119 --> 00:22:38.440
She's very pretty. She goes to the Kava House

00:22:38.440 --> 00:22:43.519
on 4th Street that I go to. Remember, she's like

00:22:43.519 --> 00:22:46.599
one of those kind of off the grid, isn't on social

00:22:46.599 --> 00:22:48.720
media much, might have a social media account,

00:22:48.799 --> 00:22:52.420
but no one knows. Just very off the grid. She's

00:22:52.420 --> 00:22:53.740
like, what do you do for a living? And I'm like,

00:22:53.799 --> 00:22:55.660
oh, I work with the MJ Morning Show. I work at

00:22:55.660 --> 00:22:58.079
Beasley Media Group. I have a podcast. And she's

00:22:58.079 --> 00:23:00.480
never listened to a podcast before besides seeing,

00:23:00.579 --> 00:23:06.799
you know, Clips on YouTube. So she's like, hey,

00:23:06.920 --> 00:23:10.440
I helped her download Spotify. I had her subscribe

00:23:10.440 --> 00:23:14.200
to it. And you know what happened? I was the

00:23:14.200 --> 00:23:17.859
very first podcast she ever listened to. Think

00:23:17.859 --> 00:23:23.460
about that. You got the murder podcast. You got

00:23:23.460 --> 00:23:26.440
the podcast from newspapers reading the news.

00:23:27.160 --> 00:23:33.160
You got Rogan. And then you got me. She was like,

00:23:33.200 --> 00:23:35.940
it sounded nothing like you. She's like, there

00:23:35.940 --> 00:23:38.759
was like nonstop noise. I'm like, that's the

00:23:38.759 --> 00:23:46.079
point. That's what I'm here for. So Kelly, welcome

00:23:46.079 --> 00:23:49.440
to Hoppy's Homies. Give it about five shows,

00:23:49.559 --> 00:23:53.359
you'll end up loving it. See what happens. Yesterday,

00:23:53.359 --> 00:23:59.240
I had to take the day off, man. I recorded for

00:23:59.240 --> 00:24:02.380
seven days in a row. I was on an adventure lately.

00:24:04.299 --> 00:24:08.940
First of all, I slept in every day during the

00:24:08.940 --> 00:24:11.839
year and was going to Beely Media Group and doing

00:24:11.839 --> 00:24:16.599
stuff for DJ Speedy and doing my podcast. And

00:24:16.599 --> 00:24:18.859
then you know what happened? I'm going to tell

00:24:18.859 --> 00:24:22.059
you what happened. I ended up flying to Chicago

00:24:22.059 --> 00:24:25.140
to see my family and go to old radio shows I

00:24:25.140 --> 00:24:27.970
used to work on. And then I went to Minneapolis

00:24:27.970 --> 00:24:31.369
to visit my friend Allie and do some business

00:24:31.369 --> 00:24:34.450
up there. And then I immediately had to come

00:24:34.450 --> 00:24:39.130
back home because I had to get ready to adjust

00:24:39.130 --> 00:24:41.589
to getting up at 4 .30 a .m. to work on the MJ

00:24:41.589 --> 00:24:44.450
Morning Show. Then I did the MJ Morning Show

00:24:44.450 --> 00:24:48.130
last week. And then I finally caught up on sleep.

00:24:48.549 --> 00:24:51.329
But once the MJ Morning Show was over with on

00:24:51.329 --> 00:24:55.099
Friday, I did a two -hour show. Then I also did

00:24:55.099 --> 00:24:58.299
two two -hour shows that same week, Cinco de

00:24:58.299 --> 00:25:00.640
Mayo, because I had Wednesday off. So I did,

00:25:00.740 --> 00:25:04.619
until Friday, seven days in a row of Hoppy Hour.

00:25:04.960 --> 00:25:09.180
And I really brought the ruckus, man. Oh, I did.

00:25:11.140 --> 00:25:14.680
Yesterday, I came to work. I sat in this little

00:25:14.680 --> 00:25:18.019
room that I recorded. And I just went, can't

00:25:18.019 --> 00:25:22.519
do it today. Can't. It was nothing personal.

00:25:25.160 --> 00:25:28.339
At the very minimum, I recorded 14 hours of this

00:25:28.339 --> 00:25:32.819
show in a week. I think you survived. I think

00:25:32.819 --> 00:25:36.599
you had a back catalog of the 900 shows I have

00:25:36.599 --> 00:25:39.759
on this platform and then 2 ,400 I have on my

00:25:39.759 --> 00:25:43.180
YouTube and then 118 I've recorded this year.

00:25:43.259 --> 00:25:45.880
I think you survived with me taking a day off.

00:25:46.240 --> 00:25:49.799
I think you were just fine. So that was where

00:25:49.799 --> 00:25:57.569
I was. 856 -4900. Okay, this is an interesting

00:25:57.569 --> 00:26:02.369
headline here. So, here's this hottest girl.

00:26:03.109 --> 00:26:06.230
Oh, she's looking a little raggedy. Let's see

00:26:06.230 --> 00:26:12.170
what her TikTok name is. Slen Avet. Maybe that's

00:26:12.170 --> 00:26:14.089
her last name. She looks like she'd be like from

00:26:14.089 --> 00:26:17.869
Europe. She's a pretty girl. And it says on this

00:26:17.869 --> 00:26:21.740
video on Twitter. Modern woman goes on a first

00:26:21.740 --> 00:26:26.259
date with Pittsburgh Pirates pitcher Chris Davinsky

00:26:26.259 --> 00:26:29.420
and tells that he attempted to persuade her to

00:26:29.420 --> 00:26:32.680
go back to his place. Oh, my God. You're telling

00:26:32.680 --> 00:26:35.880
me an athlete wants to get his rocks off? No

00:26:35.880 --> 00:26:42.240
way. Breaking news. You're telling me that when

00:26:42.240 --> 00:26:44.740
you go on a first date with someone elite, they

00:26:44.740 --> 00:26:54.720
want to get laid? Breaking news. You're telling

00:26:54.720 --> 00:27:00.859
me guys like getting laid to hot ass women? Call

00:27:00.859 --> 00:27:05.279
the presses. So here is this woman who's going

00:27:05.279 --> 00:27:08.420
to end up dying alone like me because she can't

00:27:08.420 --> 00:27:11.220
ever be happy. But what I'm saying to you is

00:27:11.220 --> 00:27:18.519
a guy wants to bang you. Whoa. No way. Heaven

00:27:18.519 --> 00:27:24.700
forbid. So here she is. And this date was with

00:27:24.700 --> 00:27:27.839
a Pirates player. Ah, you have to name drop!

00:27:28.960 --> 00:27:32.599
Because without him, you're just another one

00:27:32.599 --> 00:27:41.940
on a failed first date. He... I didn't go into

00:27:41.940 --> 00:27:43.819
this date thinking, like, he's going to be a

00:27:43.819 --> 00:27:45.789
really good guy, you know? Yeah, then why don't

00:27:45.789 --> 00:27:47.730
you go on a date? Because you wanted something

00:27:47.730 --> 00:27:50.089
to talk about. Because you're one of those women

00:27:50.089 --> 00:27:53.470
that can't afford a podcast little setup. But

00:27:53.470 --> 00:27:56.809
you're trying to be like Alex. So what do you

00:27:56.809 --> 00:28:03.529
do? You do a selfie video in your car. What is

00:28:03.529 --> 00:28:07.069
it about today's modern women that they do videos

00:28:07.069 --> 00:28:10.109
in their front seat about how men suck and then

00:28:10.109 --> 00:28:13.349
wonder why men don't want to be around them?

00:28:13.680 --> 00:28:17.460
Like you, you, I had good, I had the right expectations.

00:28:17.900 --> 00:28:20.079
No, you didn't. If you had the right expectations,

00:28:20.220 --> 00:28:25.140
you wouldn't be making this stupid video. So

00:28:25.140 --> 00:28:26.500
I get to this date. We just got coffee. Very

00:28:26.500 --> 00:28:30.559
casual date. He referenced. I'm going to tell

00:28:30.559 --> 00:28:34.480
you, I have never been laid off of a coffee date.

00:28:35.679 --> 00:28:37.940
That's the girl trying to get some caffeine.

00:28:38.660 --> 00:28:41.140
Maybe she's a little constipated and wants to

00:28:41.140 --> 00:28:43.240
poop. And the coffee will do. I can do it today.

00:28:43.599 --> 00:28:46.140
That ain't a date that you're getting. I have

00:28:46.140 --> 00:28:48.720
never ever. I don't even know if I've had second

00:28:48.720 --> 00:28:52.599
dates from coffee dates. Hey, you know, I go

00:28:52.599 --> 00:28:55.339
to Starbucks in downtown St. Pete for 10 minutes.

00:28:55.440 --> 00:28:59.339
That, that, no, no. Homie, Chris messed up thinking

00:28:59.339 --> 00:29:01.380
he's getting his rocks off from going to Starbucks.

00:29:01.660 --> 00:29:05.019
Ask me. I have my pants. I'm wearing cargo pants.

00:29:05.140 --> 00:29:07.420
Oh, yeah. Oh, are those comfortable? I go, yeah.

00:29:07.579 --> 00:29:09.640
He goes, are they easy to get off? Oh, yeah.

00:29:13.480 --> 00:29:15.299
Although, if you were to bang in the bathroom,

00:29:15.400 --> 00:29:17.440
you'd have to get that four -digit code. I go,

00:29:17.559 --> 00:29:22.079
yep. Oh, you seem prune. You're probably one

00:29:22.079 --> 00:29:25.359
of those that thinks you need to use teeth. He

00:29:25.359 --> 00:29:29.539
dodged the bullet here. Sure. He goes, all right,

00:29:29.539 --> 00:29:33.640
nice, easy access. I go, oh, yeah. what for on

00:29:33.640 --> 00:29:36.079
the fucking street right here yeah we can do

00:29:36.079 --> 00:29:38.660
it in the alley so he starts referencing sex

00:29:38.660 --> 00:29:42.319
and stuff heaven forbid you're with a professional

00:29:42.319 --> 00:29:46.140
freaking athlete you ain't with an mit student

00:29:46.140 --> 00:29:51.240
babe um and then and then he goes he goes let's

00:29:51.240 --> 00:29:58.170
have a staring contest and let's God, if that's

00:29:58.170 --> 00:29:59.529
your laugh, I wonder what you sound like during

00:29:59.529 --> 00:30:02.750
sex. Let's see. He goes, winner gets a prize.

00:30:03.269 --> 00:30:06.309
Oh, yeah, you have to suck me off. I go, okay,

00:30:06.430 --> 00:30:09.349
if you win, what do you want? And he goes, he

00:30:09.349 --> 00:30:13.349
goes, a kiss. Oh, yeah. My guy's aggressive.

00:30:14.069 --> 00:30:17.789
Of course. Of course it is. Oh, what are you

00:30:17.789 --> 00:30:20.450
supposed to do, honey? What are you supposed

00:30:20.450 --> 00:30:23.230
to do? You're on a first day with an athlete.

00:30:24.400 --> 00:30:26.279
What do you expect? He's going to talk about

00:30:26.279 --> 00:30:30.559
your social arts degree, your liberal arts, your

00:30:30.559 --> 00:30:32.799
liberal arts degree. What do you think he wants?

00:30:33.579 --> 00:30:36.220
He wants you. He goes, what do you want? And

00:30:36.220 --> 00:30:38.460
I go, I said, get the fuck out of here. Second

00:30:38.460 --> 00:30:41.559
date. I don't want a fucking second date. You're

00:30:41.559 --> 00:30:45.039
a hick. You're annoying. It's never your fault.

00:30:45.200 --> 00:30:48.220
And you're wondering why you're in your mid -30s

00:30:48.220 --> 00:30:50.700
because you look kind of old. It's not worked

00:30:50.700 --> 00:30:54.859
out for you. I want a second date. That laugh

00:30:54.859 --> 00:31:03.000
is annoying. So. Cackling hen. So he. I hate

00:31:03.000 --> 00:31:06.440
myself. That's why I make this video to get men's

00:31:06.440 --> 00:31:13.299
approval of how great I am. Shut up. So we can

00:31:13.299 --> 00:31:15.180
be like best two out of three. I go, okay, cool.

00:31:15.759 --> 00:31:18.700
So I lose, I lose the first one. Oh, she's making

00:31:18.700 --> 00:31:22.059
this video while driving. Real safe. I have contacts

00:31:22.059 --> 00:31:25.059
and naturally dry eyes, so I lose. And then,

00:31:25.059 --> 00:31:26.839
and then he goes, all right, let's add something

00:31:26.839 --> 00:31:33.319
to this. Oh yeah, you're insane. It's iffy. She'd

00:31:33.319 --> 00:31:35.599
be perfect for like a morning show with fake

00:31:35.599 --> 00:31:40.599
prank calls, that fake laugh. Cool. So I lose.

00:31:40.680 --> 00:31:43.359
I lose the first one. I have contacts and naturally

00:31:43.359 --> 00:31:46.700
dry eyes, so I lose. And then he goes, all right,

00:31:46.700 --> 00:31:48.519
let's add something to this. He goes, if you...

00:31:48.519 --> 00:31:53.859
He goes, if I win, I'm adding something to it.

00:31:53.980 --> 00:31:57.960
The back door. If I win this one, you have to

00:31:57.960 --> 00:32:06.640
drive me back to my place. This guy may play

00:32:06.640 --> 00:32:09.960
for the Pittsburgh Pirates, but he ain't got

00:32:09.960 --> 00:32:13.160
no game. Neither does she. She's an annoying

00:32:13.160 --> 00:32:17.720
broad. Don't get me wrong. I've had enough of

00:32:17.720 --> 00:32:21.900
you. Jay, why are you single? Because you're

00:32:21.900 --> 00:32:26.559
annoying. And you know why I have the authority

00:32:26.559 --> 00:32:29.700
to say that? Because I'm single, and I'm annoying,

00:32:29.920 --> 00:32:32.779
and I can call it like it is. Blah, blah, blah.

00:32:34.959 --> 00:32:37.900
Waka Flocka confronts Jake Paul over wanting

00:32:37.900 --> 00:32:42.440
to do blackface after Drewski's Erica Kirk skit.

00:32:43.759 --> 00:32:48.799
What made me say it? All right, we're not playing

00:32:48.799 --> 00:32:51.839
that. What is it with these freaking podcasts

00:32:51.839 --> 00:32:54.680
where you have people talking off the mic? You

00:32:54.680 --> 00:32:56.740
have Jake Paul sounding like this, then you got

00:32:56.740 --> 00:32:59.380
Waka Flocka go, yo, son, what do you think about,

00:32:59.599 --> 00:33:01.519
why do you think that blackface needs to be necessary?

00:33:02.160 --> 00:33:04.059
Talking to a freaking microphone, you idiot.

00:33:04.720 --> 00:33:07.140
No wonder you haven't had a hit since Hardin'

00:33:07.160 --> 00:33:09.940
the Paint. You can't even talk into a microphone,

00:33:10.099 --> 00:33:17.039
dude. What are you doing? Here is Clevicula on

00:33:17.039 --> 00:33:21.819
the Impulsive Podcast. Talking about how he's

00:33:21.819 --> 00:33:23.880
dating multiple girls. Oh, this ain't going to

00:33:23.880 --> 00:33:26.099
blow up in his face or anything. The way that

00:33:26.099 --> 00:33:31.400
men and women interact, just on like a, you know,

00:33:32.250 --> 00:33:34.150
mitigating stress level. Like there's a lot of

00:33:34.150 --> 00:33:36.490
benefits to just having like a woman's presence

00:33:36.490 --> 00:33:38.450
in your life. And I think those are kind of like

00:33:38.450 --> 00:33:43.089
universal. Yeah, it can be kind of cool. So I

00:33:43.089 --> 00:33:45.730
wouldn't really say like there's been an individual

00:33:45.730 --> 00:33:49.930
that's been better or worse, you know, so not

00:33:49.930 --> 00:33:53.089
really. So the reason that you are not currently

00:33:53.089 --> 00:33:58.710
dating someone is because you're insufferable?

00:33:59.630 --> 00:34:02.589
It has nothing to do Not being able to find the

00:34:02.589 --> 00:34:07.049
right person. Well, right now I'm dating a couple

00:34:07.049 --> 00:34:14.230
of girls, actually. Cool, dude. You know, there's

00:34:14.230 --> 00:34:16.269
one of those that kind of fell for his charmingness

00:34:16.269 --> 00:34:19.409
and thinks they had a chance. You're always side

00:34:19.409 --> 00:34:23.469
chicks. I don't care about you. What do we got

00:34:23.469 --> 00:34:25.909
here? This is interesting. It's crazy broad.

00:34:28.090 --> 00:34:31.840
It's Lily Phillips. who looks like a hotter version

00:34:31.840 --> 00:34:34.760
of Carmen from The Countess Show. She explained

00:34:34.760 --> 00:34:39.360
how her new boyfriend remains supportive of her

00:34:39.360 --> 00:34:42.579
career. She claims he brings her chocolate and

00:34:42.579 --> 00:34:47.380
gifts after long filming days, but insists that

00:34:47.380 --> 00:34:51.320
he's not a cuck and credits his maturity for

00:34:51.320 --> 00:34:54.320
being able to handle her taking so many Ds solo.

00:34:54.579 --> 00:34:57.000
I have a boyfriend, but I'm still allowed to

00:34:57.000 --> 00:35:01.469
get cracked. Oh, yeah! by other men get ready

00:35:01.469 --> 00:35:04.110
with me while i tell you about how me and my

00:35:04.110 --> 00:35:07.469
boyfriend navigate our relationship i get plowed

00:35:07.469 --> 00:35:09.630
by a bunch of men he's at home thinking about

00:35:09.630 --> 00:35:14.909
it so obviously i am a mattress actress in the

00:35:14.909 --> 00:35:19.210
adult industry i don't know you're a porn star

00:35:19.210 --> 00:35:23.349
whatever you want to call it and so my job is

00:35:23.349 --> 00:35:26.329
getting cracked by people and getting a bunch

00:35:26.329 --> 00:35:29.440
of semen on my face And because he's super mature,

00:35:29.699 --> 00:35:32.000
he actually understands that that's what it is.

00:35:32.300 --> 00:35:34.900
Understands. You make it sound so profound with

00:35:34.900 --> 00:35:38.699
your accent, honey. This is a job. You know,

00:35:38.760 --> 00:35:42.900
I don't have feelings for people when I sleep

00:35:42.900 --> 00:35:45.199
with them. You know, there's one porn star out

00:35:45.199 --> 00:35:47.079
there and it's like, I thought you cared about

00:35:47.079 --> 00:35:55.769
me. Uh -huh. It is purely just for content. content

00:35:55.769 --> 00:35:59.309
just to clarify as well because i'm a content

00:35:59.309 --> 00:36:03.090
this isn't a message for him we are in a monogamous

00:36:03.090 --> 00:36:08.070
relationship now if you're doing like finger

00:36:08.070 --> 00:36:11.210
play videos and that might be different but there's

00:36:11.210 --> 00:36:15.989
nothing monogamous about this outside of my work

00:36:15.989 --> 00:36:20.190
and he's actually super supportive i said some

00:36:20.190 --> 00:36:23.690
fun about you you got the uh what's it called

00:36:24.219 --> 00:36:26.619
i forget not the apple not the train i'll do

00:36:26.619 --> 00:36:31.739
that sound effect anyway ah whatever it's a dirty

00:36:31.739 --> 00:36:38.579
term airtight you got the airtight today so proud

00:36:38.579 --> 00:36:41.980
of you babe like the day i came home from doing

00:36:41.980 --> 00:36:43.880
a schwang bang he had brought me like chocolates

00:36:43.880 --> 00:36:51.980
and like written me a lovely gorgeous card And

00:36:51.980 --> 00:36:54.239
he just gets that, like, this is my passion.

00:36:54.559 --> 00:36:57.480
Oh, yeah, I get implied by 100 ,000 men. Oh,

00:36:57.500 --> 00:37:00.280
you're so passionate. No, you got daddy issues.

00:37:00.500 --> 00:37:04.079
I love my job so much. It's not something that

00:37:04.079 --> 00:37:07.679
I would want to quit for anyone. And he gets

00:37:07.679 --> 00:37:11.739
it because he's in beta male. He doesn't want

00:37:11.739 --> 00:37:14.000
me to quit for him. I know they don't have Thanksgiving

00:37:14.000 --> 00:37:16.340
over in Britain, but imagine you bring Lily Phillips

00:37:16.340 --> 00:37:20.070
home maybe for Christmas or something. Anything

00:37:20.070 --> 00:37:23.530
like that. Like, he enjoys me enjoying myself.

00:37:23.929 --> 00:37:26.369
All right. But you just said you don't enjoy

00:37:26.369 --> 00:37:28.630
yourself because you view it as a job. So how

00:37:28.630 --> 00:37:32.570
is it, honey? Like most women, you're confusing.

00:37:35.670 --> 00:37:42.349
856 -49 -Hobby. Hunter Schaefer reveals that

00:37:42.349 --> 00:37:44.369
some of the most emotionally damaging experiences

00:37:44.369 --> 00:37:47.449
of her life came from men. I bet it's never your

00:37:47.449 --> 00:37:52.130
fault. Man, the Call Her Daddy podcast is just

00:37:52.130 --> 00:37:55.670
becoming, hey, men are the worst. Even all we

00:37:55.670 --> 00:37:59.829
talk about is sex. If men were so bad, maybe

00:37:59.829 --> 00:38:02.650
it should just go down. Also, my first monogamous

00:38:02.650 --> 00:38:05.829
relationship. Everything else had been polyamorous

00:38:05.829 --> 00:38:09.550
because that's what I came up in. That's how

00:38:09.550 --> 00:38:11.869
I learned relationships. It kind of touched on

00:38:11.869 --> 00:38:15.769
it before. I had built up a complex against men.

00:38:16.230 --> 00:38:18.789
Understandable. Understandably? What are you?

00:38:19.190 --> 00:38:22.650
Not Taylor. What do you call her, daddy? What

00:38:22.650 --> 00:38:25.050
are you, Alex Cooper? You treat everyone like

00:38:25.050 --> 00:38:28.280
garbage. You ain't no saint, honey. Most, if

00:38:28.280 --> 00:38:30.980
not all of my deeply painful experiences I've

00:38:30.980 --> 00:38:34.659
had in life. Yeah. And with men. And so I really

00:38:34.659 --> 00:38:39.219
like came into this complex. I think the problem

00:38:39.219 --> 00:38:42.280
was you weren't coming. Never want to let a man

00:38:42.280 --> 00:38:45.360
that close to me in my life. I don't see a world

00:38:45.360 --> 00:38:47.460
in which it's. All right. Well, just keep being

00:38:47.460 --> 00:38:52.119
lonely. All these women go after the bad boys.

00:38:54.219 --> 00:38:58.349
And I wonder why they still are broken. Because

00:38:58.349 --> 00:39:00.849
you think you want the bad boy. But then the

00:39:00.849 --> 00:39:03.670
bad boy treats you like garbage. And you fall

00:39:03.670 --> 00:39:08.869
in love with an idea of them. Oh, what's going

00:39:08.869 --> 00:39:16.309
on with Neon? Evander Kane asks Neon if he knows

00:39:16.309 --> 00:39:19.710
how many players in the NBA and NFL have been

00:39:19.710 --> 00:39:23.489
run into. How many players being with Alabama

00:39:23.489 --> 00:39:27.500
Barker? Yeah, and he didn't know what to say

00:39:27.500 --> 00:39:31.059
to them. Yeah, if I'm Travis Barker, I'm so proud!

00:39:33.119 --> 00:39:35.460
Or maybe Travis Barker's the reason she's doing

00:39:35.460 --> 00:39:47.440
this. I love this headline. We got this right

00:39:47.440 --> 00:39:50.440
here. Clavicular says if he has a daughter, he

00:39:50.440 --> 00:39:54.909
doesn't need her to look, Max. Mm -hmm. She's

00:39:54.909 --> 00:39:58.829
12 years old, and she had been watching Clavicular

00:39:58.829 --> 00:40:02.670
on TikTok, learning about bones. Oh, that's good.

00:40:02.869 --> 00:40:05.369
What an influence on the next generation of Gen

00:40:05.369 --> 00:40:10.050
Alpha he is. Oh, we're screwed. And she had a

00:40:10.050 --> 00:40:13.349
ball -peen hammer in her hand. As a parent, would

00:40:13.349 --> 00:40:17.809
you take that hammer from her? Well, if a girl

00:40:17.809 --> 00:40:22.170
was look -smacking, I would say to her, We live

00:40:22.170 --> 00:40:25.190
in a very favorable society towards women and

00:40:25.190 --> 00:40:31.769
some beta boxer will still. He's like a walking

00:40:31.769 --> 00:40:35.809
SNL skit of douchebags in their 20s. Why do I

00:40:35.809 --> 00:40:38.949
say that? Because I was a douchebag in my 20s.

00:40:39.329 --> 00:40:41.610
Take care of you like you don't really need to

00:40:41.610 --> 00:40:45.590
be. Beta what? Beta boxer. Beta boxer? Yeah.

00:40:48.369 --> 00:40:52.670
We are living in the time. of the movie idiocracy.

00:40:53.869 --> 00:40:55.170
Can you explain that to me? Yeah, I'm going to

00:40:55.170 --> 00:40:59.690
need that definition, unfortunately. So a beta

00:40:59.690 --> 00:41:02.710
boxer is like someone who basically gets girls.

00:41:03.480 --> 00:41:06.239
by being a simp and, like, just, you know, being

00:41:06.239 --> 00:41:10.559
rich, but they're ugly. You! That's you! Ugly.

00:41:11.940 --> 00:41:16.039
So, basically, what I'm saying is there's going

00:41:16.039 --> 00:41:20.099
to be someone in this dating market who's desperate

00:41:20.099 --> 00:41:26.039
enough. Dating market. This is his problem. He

00:41:26.039 --> 00:41:29.039
views it like a dating app. A dating market.

00:41:30.030 --> 00:41:33.190
The owner, you go through girl after girl. You

00:41:33.190 --> 00:41:37.349
view them as objects, you moron. For just about

00:41:37.349 --> 00:41:41.309
any girl. So the burden for women to Luxmax is

00:41:41.309 --> 00:41:46.250
a lot lower. I can't do it. I was intrigued by

00:41:46.250 --> 00:41:49.789
it earlier in the month hearing about Luxmax.

00:41:49.789 --> 00:41:53.530
I feel stupid when I listen to him. But he's

00:41:53.530 --> 00:42:00.329
being serious. His advice is horrible too. A

00:42:00.329 --> 00:42:03.730
trespasser returns to Chris Brown's house. We're

00:42:03.730 --> 00:42:05.510
called back to Chris Brown's home Thursday morning

00:42:05.510 --> 00:42:07.630
following another trespassing incident involving

00:42:07.630 --> 00:42:10.170
the same suspect arrested there just a day earlier.

00:42:10.949 --> 00:42:13.630
If you don't know what's going on, let me fill

00:42:13.630 --> 00:42:16.610
you in. I'll fill you in. As we reported, on

00:42:16.610 --> 00:42:18.690
Wednesday, a trespasser was arrested outside

00:42:18.690 --> 00:42:20.750
of Chris Brown's home after allegedly hopping

00:42:20.750 --> 00:42:23.150
a fence and making it onto his property. That's

00:42:23.150 --> 00:42:26.230
got to be frightening. The suspect was also accused

00:42:26.230 --> 00:42:28.250
of attempting to start a fire before being taken

00:42:28.250 --> 00:42:32.090
into custody. Loser! Sources tell TMZ police

00:42:32.090 --> 00:42:34.469
responded again Thursday morning after reports

00:42:34.469 --> 00:42:36.849
of a suspicious person walking along the private

00:42:36.849 --> 00:42:39.690
roadway near the gated home. Alright, gated community.

00:42:40.289 --> 00:42:42.469
We're told the suspect was seen pacing the area

00:42:42.469 --> 00:42:44.630
before authorities arrived and he is now in custody.

00:42:44.829 --> 00:42:49.369
Alright, that's good. Man, we have a mental health

00:42:49.369 --> 00:42:55.110
crisis in this country. What do we got here?

00:42:56.369 --> 00:43:02.349
Sophie Reign. The supposed virgin who's religious

00:43:02.349 --> 00:43:07.250
and does OnlyFans. She burst into tears claiming

00:43:07.250 --> 00:43:10.489
her own sister pushed her into OnlyFans. Fake

00:43:10.489 --> 00:43:13.719
persona, essentially. I made Sophie Reign. And

00:43:13.719 --> 00:43:15.880
it just kind of grew more traction and more traction.

00:43:15.980 --> 00:43:18.400
I saw. Cause you're a hot piece of ass. That's

00:43:18.400 --> 00:43:20.460
awesome. Oh, you know, my sister was doing OnlyFans.

00:43:20.619 --> 00:43:24.579
Oh yeah. Your parents must be so proud. I was

00:43:24.579 --> 00:43:27.800
so proud of you guys. And I was like, maybe I'll

00:43:27.800 --> 00:43:29.559
try it so I can get out of this serving job.

00:43:29.639 --> 00:43:31.440
Cause I was just serving. I was working. No,

00:43:31.440 --> 00:43:34.860
you serve us in different ways. Literally every

00:43:34.860 --> 00:43:38.440
day. Oh yeah. And all the insults are like, good

00:43:38.440 --> 00:43:40.480
a real job, man. If I didn't even bust out of

00:43:40.480 --> 00:43:44.300
my cushy and make $500 ,000 a minute, I'd probably

00:43:44.300 --> 00:43:51.820
do it too. Doctor, who is this woman? Dr. Cheyenne

00:43:51.820 --> 00:43:54.260
Bryan gets asked why she won't show proof of

00:43:54.260 --> 00:43:56.760
her degree. I have multiple degrees and I'm not

00:43:56.760 --> 00:43:58.880
going to prove anything to anybody. But it's

00:43:58.880 --> 00:44:03.239
not true. You're a liar. That's why. My obedience

00:44:03.239 --> 00:44:06.420
is to God, not to people. So long as I'm in his

00:44:06.420 --> 00:44:08.679
will and I'm serving and I'm doing. Shut the

00:44:08.679 --> 00:44:13.420
fuck up. Stop it with the God stuff. I'm going

00:44:13.420 --> 00:44:15.559
to lie about my career, but that's because of

00:44:15.559 --> 00:44:21.039
God. I was talking to somebody recently and God

00:44:21.039 --> 00:44:26.260
must just be up in heaven knowing that we're

00:44:26.260 --> 00:44:30.360
all liars. I mean, his, you know, his word, my

00:44:30.360 --> 00:44:34.699
sheep will know my voice. It's fiction. It's

00:44:34.699 --> 00:44:36.780
like talking about Harry Potter. There's nothing

00:44:36.780 --> 00:44:39.559
real about it. Even the sheep and wolf. You're

00:44:39.559 --> 00:44:42.699
a hag. Clothing. That is not my battle. What

00:44:42.699 --> 00:44:50.679
is your battle, being a bitch? Blah. Blah. Blah.

00:44:52.760 --> 00:44:56.219
Spencer Pratt says he'll do a reality show if

00:44:56.219 --> 00:44:59.559
he becomes the mayor of L .A. Signed a contract

00:44:59.559 --> 00:45:02.480
to film a reality TV show about the first family

00:45:02.480 --> 00:45:05.860
of L .A. if he wins the mayoral race. At first

00:45:05.860 --> 00:45:10.039
I thought it was kind of cool. Now I'm a little

00:45:10.039 --> 00:45:13.480
concerned. Here's one. It reminds me of the guy

00:45:13.480 --> 00:45:17.019
we have in office as president. An obnoxious

00:45:17.019 --> 00:45:20.639
reality star. That becomes a politician. Sources

00:45:20.639 --> 00:45:23.099
with direct knowledge told TMZ that Pratt signed

00:45:23.099 --> 00:45:25.599
a deal with an L .A. production company to roll

00:45:25.599 --> 00:45:28.059
cameras as he runs for mayor. And the production

00:45:28.059 --> 00:45:30.219
team has been filming Spencer, his wife Heidi,

00:45:30.380 --> 00:45:32.400
and their two kids throughout the entire campaign.

00:45:32.619 --> 00:45:36.199
Right. He doesn't care about L .A. He's just

00:45:36.199 --> 00:45:39.000
trying to bring down Karen Bass because she's

00:45:39.000 --> 00:45:40.739
one of the reasons that all the issues happened

00:45:40.739 --> 00:45:45.420
during the L .A. fires. We got a video right

00:45:45.420 --> 00:45:48.380
here at Clavicular. Getting a call from his mom.

00:45:50.579 --> 00:45:56.139
Hello? Mom? I'm on live stream. I'm gambling.

00:45:57.639 --> 00:46:04.840
I'm my maxing right now. Teach the girls how

00:46:04.840 --> 00:46:10.099
to cook. Yeah, that's probably a good idea. Okay.

00:46:10.579 --> 00:46:14.639
What an idiot. Does no one know how to do anything?

00:46:15.840 --> 00:46:18.719
First of all, you have Waka Flocka and the Jake

00:46:18.719 --> 00:46:21.699
Paul clip not talking into a microphone. And

00:46:21.699 --> 00:46:24.559
in here, you got him putting his mom on speakerphone

00:46:24.559 --> 00:46:26.860
and not trying to connect it to the freaking

00:46:26.860 --> 00:46:33.119
board. You're an idiot. I'm not playing this.

00:46:34.940 --> 00:46:36.880
She was going to say that the women are useless.

00:46:38.500 --> 00:46:40.739
Jesus Christ, does no one know how to do a proper

00:46:40.739 --> 00:46:45.559
podcast? Lizzo speaks on where she's at with

00:46:45.559 --> 00:46:48.300
Nicki Minaj. They asked me if I steal. Oh, they

00:46:48.300 --> 00:46:51.000
asked you. You're an ax murderer. Fuck with Nicki

00:46:51.000 --> 00:46:59.920
Minaj. All right, there you go. She didn't say

00:46:59.920 --> 00:47:04.179
much. Honestly, when Lizzo's not talking, that's

00:47:04.179 --> 00:47:08.639
when she's at her best. Bro -rilla. I love saying

00:47:08.639 --> 00:47:14.380
it like that. That is Letta's sister. Bro -rilla!

00:47:15.579 --> 00:47:20.079
You can't say bro -rilla. You gotta say bro -rilla!

00:47:21.079 --> 00:47:24.260
Reacts to Lado saying she's retiring. I'm the

00:47:24.260 --> 00:47:29.199
real shit. I drags the fuck out of shit. I motherfucking

00:47:29.199 --> 00:47:35.000
date every day. But when Lado say she was finna

00:47:35.000 --> 00:47:41.460
get ready to retire, from what? Wow. That's riveting

00:47:41.460 --> 00:47:49.099
stuff, man. From Pro -Rel. Pro -Rel, that kind

00:47:49.099 --> 00:47:51.960
of scares me. Oh, yeah. Kodak Black was arrested.

00:47:52.980 --> 00:47:56.719
Again. For attempting to flee and resist an officer.

00:47:58.099 --> 00:48:02.480
Meh. Homie's going through a mental health crisis.

00:48:02.679 --> 00:48:06.880
Oh, by the way, we got this here. Plies. Who

00:48:06.880 --> 00:48:12.349
says beer? Beer. Beer. I love plies. Shawty's

00:48:12.349 --> 00:48:14.989
one of the greatest songs ever. Me and my girls

00:48:14.989 --> 00:48:18.329
is a good band in the club. You know what the

00:48:18.329 --> 00:48:21.130
problem with plies is? I know somebody that was

00:48:21.130 --> 00:48:24.909
a server at Ruth. This is all alleged. But I

00:48:24.909 --> 00:48:26.710
knew someone that was a server at Ruth, Chris.

00:48:27.250 --> 00:48:31.030
And you're not allowed to look plies in the eyes.

00:48:31.289 --> 00:48:33.889
You have to talk to his brother. You're a douchebag.

00:48:35.710 --> 00:48:38.550
Think you're better than people? Beer. He always

00:48:38.550 --> 00:48:43.440
says beer. I'm looking for me a shell, bitch.

00:48:46.260 --> 00:48:53.519
Anybody know where I can find a shell, bitch?

00:48:54.079 --> 00:48:55.960
He's talking about how he wants a female chef.

00:48:56.159 --> 00:48:58.340
So then you'll have to have the female chef talk

00:48:58.340 --> 00:49:01.920
to your... Brother through to get to you. Yeah,

00:49:02.000 --> 00:49:09.699
I'm looking for a show. A female show. It's so

00:49:09.699 --> 00:49:12.300
funny how when he's rapping, he sounds so coherent

00:49:12.300 --> 00:49:14.800
and so clear. And then when he's talking, he's

00:49:14.800 --> 00:49:19.820
like, yeah, yeah. You got to know how to cook.

00:49:21.380 --> 00:49:34.369
Yeah. Weird, man. He's got a cute laugh, huh?

00:49:34.610 --> 00:49:39.349
You gotta know how to cook. Take a shot every

00:49:39.349 --> 00:49:43.989
time Ply says beer. Cause you're a beer. I need

00:49:43.989 --> 00:49:46.909
a shove, bitch. Ain't something. There you go.

00:49:51.869 --> 00:49:56.099
Ply's talking about his beer. You sound ignorant

00:49:56.099 --> 00:50:01.539
when you say beer. Now, I understand that the

00:50:01.539 --> 00:50:05.760
Tampa Bay area tried to claim him. Mm -hmm. Because

00:50:05.760 --> 00:50:10.300
he's from Fort Myers. But he seems like a beer.

00:50:12.639 --> 00:50:18.360
Just being on it. I'm being on it. Drake's new

00:50:18.360 --> 00:50:21.139
album takes, and that's how I used to say it

00:50:21.139 --> 00:50:24.599
with my Midwest accent, takes shots at DJ Khaled,

00:50:24.639 --> 00:50:27.960
A $AP, Rocky, Kendrick, Lamar, Joe, Button, and

00:50:27.960 --> 00:50:31.860
Moe. Right here. We're not playing the music,

00:50:31.920 --> 00:50:34.019
but. We got the report. Listen to Drake's new

00:50:34.019 --> 00:50:36.420
album. I mean, all three albums. Well, if you

00:50:36.420 --> 00:50:38.099
haven't had the chance yet, let me give you guys

00:50:38.099 --> 00:50:41.360
the tea and some of the apparent. The beer. This

00:50:41.360 --> 00:50:43.719
is from the albums. In these albums that Drake

00:50:43.719 --> 00:50:45.719
dropped, they appear to have direct shots aimed

00:50:45.719 --> 00:50:48.599
at Kendrick Lamar, DJ Khaled, A $AP Rocky, Rick

00:50:48.599 --> 00:50:51.920
Ross, and many more. They left out Joe Bud. On

00:50:51.920 --> 00:50:54.059
his track, Dust, Drake appears to take a direct

00:50:54.059 --> 00:50:56.340
aim at Kendrick Lamar, rapping, what was the

00:50:56.340 --> 00:50:58.440
year you said you had slaps? Because I don't

00:50:58.440 --> 00:51:01.420
remember it going like that. Kendrick, well,

00:51:01.599 --> 00:51:04.199
Kendrick's not a great guy, but Drake is such

00:51:04.199 --> 00:51:07.179
a little B. I don't remember one word of your

00:51:07.179 --> 00:51:09.300
raps. He also adds another lyric that has social

00:51:09.300 --> 00:51:12.099
media talking, white kids listen to you because

00:51:12.099 --> 00:51:18.420
they feel some guilt. What? I've never put on

00:51:18.420 --> 00:51:20.360
Money Trees by Kendrick Lamar and been like,

00:51:20.440 --> 00:51:23.900
oh, I feel so guilty. It's just a good song,

00:51:23.980 --> 00:51:26.539
douchebag. Drake also appears to fire a DJ Khaled

00:51:26.539 --> 00:51:28.659
on his track, Make Them Pay, rapping, the beef

00:51:28.659 --> 00:51:31.139
was fully live, you went halal and got on your

00:51:31.139 --> 00:51:34.780
dean. Weird guy. You know, Drake gets on the

00:51:34.780 --> 00:51:42.199
dean. Weird, dude. Go hit up Millie Bobby Brown.

00:51:43.880 --> 00:51:48.179
You know, Millie Bobby Brown. And she really

00:51:48.179 --> 00:51:50.820
has turned into a hot piece of ass, hasn't she?

00:51:51.019 --> 00:51:55.360
Mm -hmm. Came out of nowhere. One second, she's

00:51:55.360 --> 00:51:57.780
11. Well, the character, whatever the number

00:51:57.780 --> 00:51:59.960
was. And all of a sudden, she's married to Bon

00:51:59.960 --> 00:52:03.059
Jovi's kid when an adopted kid in a rocking body.

00:52:03.360 --> 00:52:06.800
Like, what the frick happened? And then, of course,

00:52:06.880 --> 00:52:12.139
when Drake's album comes out, you got all the

00:52:12.139 --> 00:52:15.960
ass kisses. Everybody was on Kendrick's side

00:52:15.960 --> 00:52:21.860
in 2024 and 2025. Then all of a sudden, everybody's

00:52:21.860 --> 00:52:27.800
a go. Good job, Drake. I want you to come out.

00:52:29.019 --> 00:52:32.639
And here's Neon saying that now he's on Drake's

00:52:32.639 --> 00:52:37.150
side. Over. Kendrick Lamar's side. What a douchebag!

00:52:38.570 --> 00:52:41.469
Drake dissed you? No, he didn't. What are you

00:52:41.469 --> 00:52:43.909
talking about, bro? Drake got no beef, no problems,

00:52:43.989 --> 00:52:47.070
bro. Shout out to... Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo,

00:52:47.150 --> 00:52:50.730
yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo! My name's Neon. I'm

00:52:50.730 --> 00:52:52.289
trying to be cool. Congratulations on Iceman,

00:52:52.369 --> 00:52:53.829
man. It was a great, great project, man. You've

00:52:53.829 --> 00:52:56.349
done your thing. You've done your thing, dork!

00:52:57.639 --> 00:52:59.880
Um, I'm glad, I'm glad that you, you know, you're,

00:52:59.900 --> 00:53:02.400
you're... I'm like Peter Rosenberg, where I'm

00:53:02.400 --> 00:53:07.340
talking urban, even though I'm not urban. You're

00:53:07.340 --> 00:53:09.139
getting the credit you deserve, man. I'm telling

00:53:09.139 --> 00:53:10.579
you to stay on that side. I'm not on the side,

00:53:10.619 --> 00:53:12.320
bro. I'm a fucking streamer. You idiot. I'm a

00:53:12.320 --> 00:53:14.119
streamer. Yeah, you are. At least you admitted

00:53:14.119 --> 00:53:19.699
it. At least you have some self -awareness. I'm

00:53:19.699 --> 00:53:23.599
a streamer. There's no sides, brother. I am a

00:53:23.599 --> 00:53:29.809
civilian. With a lot of money. And a simp. Don't

00:53:29.809 --> 00:53:33.309
pick a side. I don't. You have a Celine Powell

00:53:33.309 --> 00:53:35.469
skateboard or something hanging up on your wall.

00:53:35.570 --> 00:53:38.650
You are not a civilian. We shitted on them? I

00:53:38.650 --> 00:53:40.230
don't know what you're talking about. All right,

00:53:40.230 --> 00:53:43.429
Dan. You do your boom. He's starting to get a

00:53:43.429 --> 00:53:47.530
little like, you know. All right. We'll talk

00:53:47.530 --> 00:53:50.530
about late night TV later on. I'm not in the

00:53:50.530 --> 00:53:54.760
mood for Letterman. Let's erase the past that

00:53:54.760 --> 00:54:00.519
Letterman wasn't a douchebag. I'm the David Letterman.

00:54:00.860 --> 00:54:05.719
I liked Letterman later on. But as a kid, I would

00:54:05.719 --> 00:54:09.000
go on vacations with my Uncle Ken and he would

00:54:09.000 --> 00:54:11.039
always have to have Letterman on and I wanted

00:54:11.039 --> 00:54:16.860
to watch adults swim. So this tweet, I don't

00:54:16.860 --> 00:54:19.079
know what, this fucking Reddit post, I don't

00:54:19.079 --> 00:54:24.360
know why it got deleted. It got deleted by the

00:54:24.360 --> 00:54:27.059
moderators of the Joe Budden Network Reddit page.

00:54:27.179 --> 00:54:29.980
What the fuck? It was a collage of all the athletes

00:54:29.980 --> 00:54:32.500
tweeting out that they loved. I got to start

00:54:32.500 --> 00:54:36.280
screenshotting. It was a fuck. Ruined a bit.

00:54:36.400 --> 00:54:39.460
It was like Manziel, Jalen Brunson, LeBron. It

00:54:39.460 --> 00:54:41.760
was all these athletes kissing Drake's ass. But

00:54:41.760 --> 00:54:49.400
man, Reddit's so pussified. Here is Rick Ross

00:54:49.400 --> 00:54:52.300
talking about Drake's. Three albums that came

00:54:52.300 --> 00:54:58.960
out. Bars. Damn. Say three albums of trash albums

00:54:58.960 --> 00:55:03.039
two years too late. You know, Dwayne. It's like

00:55:03.039 --> 00:55:08.320
everybody goes, oh, Drake sucks. But then all

00:55:08.320 --> 00:55:10.699
they do is talk about Drake. It's kind of like

00:55:10.699 --> 00:55:13.800
morning radio. Like, oh, I don't like that Ryan

00:55:13.800 --> 00:55:19.789
Hoppy kid. But then you talk about me. What site

00:55:19.789 --> 00:55:25.130
is this? Complex? Complex. The Glazer University.

00:55:26.889 --> 00:55:30.050
There is a lot of glazing going on with Drake.

00:55:30.349 --> 00:55:34.510
Mm -hmm. You know he likes glaze on his back.

00:55:35.409 --> 00:55:38.730
Oh, my God. All right, there you go. 8 -5 -6.

00:55:39.369 --> 00:55:45.500
49 hopping. it's 856 -494 -6773 i was having

00:55:45.500 --> 00:55:48.800
a little bit of a panic attack why my mouth just

00:55:48.800 --> 00:55:51.559
began acting up and i was like oh no we're doing

00:55:51.559 --> 00:55:57.380
a podcast uh kanye west is partnering with um

00:55:57.380 --> 00:56:00.559
israeli businessmen for a show in georgia and

00:56:00.559 --> 00:56:04.360
says his neo -nazi past is he says his neo -nazi

00:56:04.360 --> 00:56:10.260
phase was in the past Angelina the Dirty Hamster

00:56:10.260 --> 00:56:18.079
from Jersey Shore is going to be a mom. This

00:56:18.079 --> 00:56:20.760
has got to suck, dude. Ariel Winner and Luke

00:56:20.760 --> 00:56:23.699
Benoit, and they've been a couple for six years.

00:56:24.420 --> 00:56:28.119
Ariel Winner's the hardest daughter from Modern

00:56:28.119 --> 00:56:32.219
Family with the huge boobs. And they broke up.

00:56:32.219 --> 00:56:35.250
They've been dating since 2020. Yeah, 2020 was

00:56:35.250 --> 00:56:39.269
that year we're all alone and we all met our

00:56:39.269 --> 00:56:41.030
one and only and then we ended up breaking up

00:56:41.030 --> 00:56:43.769
like Pete Davidson and his baby mama, Elise Hewitt,

00:56:43.889 --> 00:56:47.650
Elsie Hewitt. Elise didn't have a kid. Oh, that's

00:56:47.650 --> 00:56:52.510
right. Clavicular cuts a deal to avoid jail time

00:56:52.510 --> 00:56:55.130
in shooting the alligator. You know if I did

00:56:55.130 --> 00:56:59.230
it, that'd be different. A North Carolina teacher

00:56:59.230 --> 00:57:02.230
was arrested for a 2005 assault of a student.

00:57:02.309 --> 00:57:05.800
That's good. Jermaine Jackson was forced to pay

00:57:05.800 --> 00:57:10.840
his rape accuser millions of dollars. Taylor

00:57:10.840 --> 00:57:14.820
Frankie Paul, that dirty around in Bruin, said

00:57:14.820 --> 00:57:16.599
she should have left her relationship sooner.

00:57:18.179 --> 00:57:24.179
That's good. At least you know that now. Representative

00:57:24.179 --> 00:57:27.079
Maxine Waters. I don't know who this guy is,

00:57:27.320 --> 00:57:30.500
but TMZ's really been hanging out in D .C. a

00:57:30.500 --> 00:57:35.820
lot. Bothering the politicians. And she says,

00:57:35.980 --> 00:57:42.579
nobody is too old to serve. This perfectly represents

00:57:42.579 --> 00:57:47.539
the boomers that don't want to let go. Because

00:57:47.539 --> 00:57:50.940
once they retire, then they die. Man, the boomers

00:57:50.940 --> 00:57:54.179
are the most power hungry generation ever. Your

00:57:54.179 --> 00:57:57.739
family, I think it was the great generation or

00:57:57.739 --> 00:57:59.599
was it the silent generation? The one before

00:57:59.599 --> 00:58:02.000
the boomers. If they knew what you guys would

00:58:02.000 --> 00:58:05.780
become, they would be embarrassed. They probably

00:58:05.780 --> 00:58:12.500
would have aborted you guys. Here it is. Congresswoman.

00:58:12.820 --> 00:58:16.699
Yes. Jacob with TMZ. How are you? I'm fine. I'm

00:58:16.699 --> 00:58:20.920
fine. I'm wearing a wig. Good to see you. I have

00:58:20.920 --> 00:58:22.820
a question. I want to ask you something as a

00:58:22.820 --> 00:58:28.199
whiny Gen Z -er myself. She does not look like

00:58:28.199 --> 00:58:31.639
she wants to be talked to. Some people in my

00:58:31.639 --> 00:58:34.460
generation look at our leaders and think, you

00:58:34.460 --> 00:58:37.199
know what, some of these people are too old.

00:58:37.480 --> 00:58:42.019
They are! As a spry 87 -year -old, I just saw

00:58:42.019 --> 00:58:45.079
you talk at the working family. Man, she is 87.

00:58:45.780 --> 00:58:48.579
Family's press conference. What do you say to

00:58:48.579 --> 00:58:50.719
people in my generation who think, okay, some

00:58:50.719 --> 00:58:53.119
of these leaders are too old and we need to do

00:58:53.119 --> 00:58:58.019
something about it? I usually don't do press

00:58:58.019 --> 00:59:02.139
conferences as I'm walking. Oh, well, go to hell.

00:59:02.340 --> 00:59:08.320
No one cares. But let me just say that the way

00:59:08.320 --> 00:59:10.820
that people should think about elected officials.

00:59:11.000 --> 00:59:13.699
But you don't care about us. That's the problem.

00:59:13.840 --> 00:59:16.920
If you want people, don't give a shit about the

00:59:16.920 --> 00:59:20.519
future because your life's over with. Is what

00:59:20.519 --> 00:59:23.760
do they do? I'm not listening to this broad.

00:59:25.230 --> 00:59:28.210
I don't usually do press conferences, but I could

00:59:28.210 --> 00:59:30.469
have just easily walked away and ignored them.

00:59:31.389 --> 00:59:37.530
Shut up. You're a hag. You're annoying. Livvy

00:59:37.530 --> 00:59:42.329
Dunn talks about how she tried out for White

00:59:42.329 --> 00:59:44.929
Lotus and didn't make it. But Baywatch wanted

00:59:44.929 --> 00:59:47.070
her. Probably because you have to actually know

00:59:47.070 --> 00:59:49.929
how to act if you're on White Lotus. But Baywatch

00:59:49.929 --> 00:59:53.250
is about your rock and burn. That's what that

00:59:53.250 --> 00:59:57.710
is. A nothing more, a nothing less. Here is Libby

00:59:57.710 --> 00:59:59.929
Dutton with Jimmy Fallon, and I'm sure he fake

00:59:59.929 --> 01:00:02.849
laughs his way through the clip. The reboot of

01:00:02.849 --> 01:00:06.510
Baywatch. This is fantastic. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

01:00:09.230 --> 01:00:12.170
Originality's dead. Let's bring back the 90s.

01:00:13.510 --> 01:00:18.460
Oh, yeah. What the frick? Coming to Fox. In January,

01:00:18.599 --> 01:00:20.920
this is your acting debut. Have you had any experience

01:00:20.920 --> 01:00:24.739
auditioning before this show? Yeah, so actually

01:00:24.739 --> 01:00:28.739
my first ever audition was in person. Shout out

01:00:28.739 --> 01:00:30.659
my acting coach, Caroline. She's in the audience

01:00:30.659 --> 01:00:35.860
right now. God, that hot piece of ass. But I

01:00:35.860 --> 01:00:40.039
was obviously so nervous. It was different because

01:00:40.039 --> 01:00:42.340
gymnastics, usually you just go out there and

01:00:42.340 --> 01:00:45.199
perform on a four inch beam. But this, I have.

01:00:45.630 --> 01:00:48.230
to talk yeah and perform and play somebody else

01:00:48.230 --> 01:00:50.110
rather than yeah that's why you didn't get it

01:00:50.110 --> 01:00:53.230
the way she said i had to talk myself it was

01:00:53.230 --> 01:00:55.530
different because gymnastics usually you just

01:00:55.530 --> 01:00:57.590
go out there so she's usually just being a hot

01:00:57.590 --> 01:01:03.849
piece of ass working around getting lux but then

01:01:03.849 --> 01:01:07.969
when you actually had to do something all of

01:01:07.969 --> 01:01:11.199
a sudden you're like i don't know how to i'm

01:01:11.199 --> 01:01:15.019
a robot and perform on a four inch beam but this

01:01:15.019 --> 01:01:18.940
i have to talk yeah and it's hard being human

01:01:18.940 --> 01:01:21.219
i have to actually do things and not just be

01:01:21.219 --> 01:01:24.139
a hottie with a rocking body form and play somebody

01:01:24.139 --> 01:01:27.320
else rather than myself so it was very animal

01:01:27.320 --> 01:01:34.559
it was completely different i ended up not getting

01:01:34.559 --> 01:01:37.570
that one which It was probably a show that you

01:01:37.570 --> 01:01:42.429
would know, but I ended up then auditioning.

01:01:42.570 --> 01:01:47.289
What show? It was for White Lotus. All right,

01:01:47.329 --> 01:01:49.530
whatever. See what the comment section says.

01:01:53.610 --> 01:01:55.570
Baywatch was not looking for talented actors,

01:01:55.650 --> 01:02:02.489
but cheap models. There you go. 856 -49 -HOPPY.

01:02:02.730 --> 01:02:07.039
It's 856 -494. Six, seven, seven, three. Here's

01:02:07.039 --> 01:02:11.860
Drake's dad. So I guess in one of Drake's songs,

01:02:12.019 --> 01:02:14.079
I actually got to take a deep dive into his music

01:02:14.079 --> 01:02:18.139
this weekend. But in one of Drake's songs, he

01:02:18.139 --> 01:02:20.139
talks about how his dad had cancer. And honestly,

01:02:20.420 --> 01:02:26.119
as much as I love to bust Drake's balls, I like

01:02:26.119 --> 01:02:30.699
Drake. And I lost my dad to cancer. So I take

01:02:30.699 --> 01:02:34.039
that very seriously. So here is Drake's dad saying

01:02:34.039 --> 01:02:37.599
he doesn't have cancer. What's going on, Dennis?

01:02:37.880 --> 01:02:40.900
First of all, I want to say hi to you. Hi to

01:02:40.900 --> 01:02:43.199
you. I'm concerned, you know. I want to give

01:02:43.199 --> 01:02:46.880
you a hug. You know, you're like family. Yo,

01:02:46.980 --> 01:02:50.599
yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo! You're like family.

01:02:51.150 --> 01:02:58.690
So, too much noise there, though. So, I was listening

01:02:58.690 --> 01:03:02.030
to the lyrics. The lyrics. Iceman. I'm dying.

01:03:02.690 --> 01:03:06.769
And Drake reveals that you are battling cancer.

01:03:07.349 --> 01:03:11.250
No. I don't think that's what he said. I think

01:03:11.250 --> 01:03:12.989
he was talking about his dad battling cancer,

01:03:13.130 --> 01:03:15.469
fucking moron. That was a while back. A while

01:03:15.469 --> 01:03:18.769
back? You're dying. What's the point of fact

01:03:18.769 --> 01:03:24.690
-checking? I'm okay now. You okay now? All right,

01:03:24.690 --> 01:03:27.710
then. You know, that paparazzi didn't do a very

01:03:27.710 --> 01:03:31.690
good job, but because he was able to obtain the

01:03:31.690 --> 01:03:34.750
clip of Drake's dad saying he didn't have cancer,

01:03:34.929 --> 01:03:37.130
Harvey Levin was probably happy with it, amigo.

01:03:38.110 --> 01:03:41.170
You know what I mean, amigo? You gotta be proud

01:03:41.170 --> 01:03:43.829
of him some way. It's time for side chick news.

01:03:57.360 --> 01:04:28.019
Side chick noise. We talking Massey today. Postin'

01:04:28.019 --> 01:04:30.679
healing energy while they DM huntin' Strollin'

01:04:30.679 --> 01:04:32.860
through the gram, all I see is double lives You

01:04:32.860 --> 01:04:35.340
can't tag the man, but you tag the watch He buys,

01:04:35.440 --> 01:05:00.130
it's inside you Who you trying to text? Got a

01:05:00.130 --> 01:05:02.409
ring on your hand Still shopping for the next

01:05:02.409 --> 01:05:04.710
P All teams stressing, trying to spin it for

01:05:04.710 --> 01:05:07.210
the press But the group chat memes got receipts

01:05:07.210 --> 01:05:09.929
on deck From the field goals missing to the model

01:05:09.929 --> 01:05:13.190
in the mist One post off life, next post I twist

01:05:13.190 --> 01:05:16.610
You a free spirit but the rent still split Funny

01:05:16.610 --> 01:05:19.670
how the timeline never shows that bit Look, I'm

01:05:19.670 --> 01:05:22.090
just reading what the headlines say I'm the voice

01:05:22.090 --> 01:05:34.880
in your car, you pretend you hate, uh Every fraud,

01:05:35.059 --> 01:05:38.039
every fling, every late night move We expose,

01:05:38.260 --> 01:05:41.219
we amuse Yeah, we say it like it is on an afternoon

01:05:41.219 --> 01:05:44.579
cruise Sidekick news Whole world tools to the

01:05:44.579 --> 01:05:47.420
truth You can hide from your man can Oh yeah

01:05:47.420 --> 01:05:53.840
Sidekick news Breaking, breaking, breaking Breaking,

01:05:53.960 --> 01:05:56.559
breaking, breaking, breaking Another is complicated

01:05:56.559 --> 01:06:41.659
situation Another we were Oh, yeah 8 -5 -6. 4

01:06:41.659 --> 01:06:50.119
-9 -4 -6 -7 -7 -3. You can tweet at me at RyanHobbyRadio.

01:06:50.119 --> 01:06:53.440
You can always email me. RyanHobbyRadio at gmail

01:06:53.440 --> 01:07:04.920
.com. What do we have going on right here in

01:07:04.920 --> 01:07:11.679
the club? Bieber has a craving, she doesn't even

01:07:11.679 --> 01:07:15.400
have to lift a finger. Oh, yeah, you know. She's

01:07:15.400 --> 01:07:20.199
a side chick. Mm -hmm. I'm very grateful and

01:07:20.199 --> 01:07:23.199
thankful. She is a hot piece of ass. Thankful

01:07:23.199 --> 01:07:26.539
for baby Jack Blues. The one good thing she does

01:07:26.539 --> 01:07:31.000
is she hides that kid's face. Mm -hmm. Who adorably

01:07:31.000 --> 01:07:34.699
feeds his mama non -stop in a new Instagram video.

01:07:36.199 --> 01:07:38.139
Alright, I gotta skip over this because it's

01:07:38.139 --> 01:07:40.670
copyrighted. It was her with her kids sucking

01:07:40.670 --> 01:07:47.809
on her thumb. Let's see what we got here. Time

01:07:47.809 --> 01:08:17.090
for Britney Spears news. So she supposedly visited

01:08:17.090 --> 01:08:20.210
a restaurant and was carrying a knife and barking.

01:08:21.229 --> 01:08:25.770
Yeah, she's bat crap crazy! Brittany News is

01:08:25.770 --> 01:08:29.229
bat crap crazy. Y 'all got played and the story

01:08:29.229 --> 01:08:31.609
got hazed. They sold you a script, y 'all caught

01:08:31.609 --> 01:08:34.210
it. But the cash came first, she just gave them

01:08:34.210 --> 01:08:38.319
a blast. Brittany News is bat crap crazy. Y 'all

01:08:38.319 --> 01:08:41.079
call it a maze. Turn that dial. Hoppy touch through

01:08:41.079 --> 01:08:43.840
the scab. Girl watch show, buddy talk like fam.

01:08:44.180 --> 01:08:47.279
Yeah. Throw back joints in the cup, we vibin'.

01:08:47.279 --> 01:08:50.640
Then we dive deep in the lousy right. Teen idols

01:08:50.640 --> 01:08:53.539
push like perfect angles. Every tabloid angle,

01:08:53.640 --> 01:08:56.140
all triangles. Spin, spin, spin till the truths

01:08:56.140 --> 01:08:58.699
look fake. Whole fan base fake like a birthday

01:08:58.699 --> 01:09:01.220
cake. You are hashtags, merch, and a wristband.

01:09:01.479 --> 01:09:04.359
They were private jets, you were quicksand. Bringing

01:09:04.359 --> 01:09:08.329
on this black crap crazy, crazy. Then the story

01:09:08.329 --> 01:09:10.829
got hazy They sold you a script, y 'all called

01:09:10.829 --> 01:09:12.989
it a cause But the cash came first, you just

01:09:12.989 --> 01:09:15.369
gave them a plot My opinion on this black crap

01:09:15.369 --> 01:09:17.630
craze They wrote the whole plot, y 'all called

01:09:17.630 --> 01:09:20.170
it amazing Turn that dial, Hoppy cut through

01:09:20.170 --> 01:09:23.090
the scam Worldwide show, but he talk like damn

01:09:23.090 --> 01:09:27.949
Who you trust? Them uns Who you love? Her a bust

01:09:27.949 --> 01:09:30.329
You know on the left, Hoppy's geek that real

01:09:30.329 --> 01:09:32.390
And if it sound too clean, then it ain't that

01:09:32.390 --> 01:09:41.229
real From the bay to the bay of Tokyo's Dizzy's

01:09:41.229 --> 01:10:07.310
a bitch! There you go. Alright! Let's get into

01:10:07.310 --> 01:10:12.239
Britney Spears. Because we know a lot of people

01:10:12.239 --> 01:10:16.000
have been inside of her. It's been said before

01:10:16.000 --> 01:10:18.760
and it can be said once more. Leave Britney Spears

01:10:18.760 --> 01:10:21.600
alone, her rep tells E! News. A response on behalf

01:10:21.600 --> 01:10:23.939
of the pop princess calling recent rumors of

01:10:23.939 --> 01:10:27.380
erratic behavior. Oh, my God. This is a lick

01:10:27.380 --> 01:10:31.939
of accountability that exists around Britney

01:10:31.939 --> 01:10:35.479
Spears. Oh, she didn't do anything. She's a moron.

01:10:35.640 --> 01:10:39.869
I'm sorry. I don't mean to be heartless. That's

01:10:39.869 --> 01:10:42.789
what she is! Ridiculous. Amidst internet rumors

01:10:42.789 --> 01:10:44.789
that Britney was allegedly wielding a knife,

01:10:44.850 --> 01:10:47.090
raising her voice, and even screaming and barking

01:10:47.090 --> 01:10:49.050
like a dog, while having dinner at the Blue Dog

01:10:49.050 --> 01:10:51.750
Tavern in Los Angeles, California, May 13th,

01:10:51.750 --> 01:10:54.130
Jeremy Winters represented... Back! Back! She

01:10:54.130 --> 01:10:56.890
does like dying! ...telling E! News in a statement

01:10:56.890 --> 01:10:59.510
May 14th that things are being completely blown

01:10:59.510 --> 01:11:02.890
out of proportion... She only meowed. Statement

01:11:02.890 --> 01:11:04.850
continues, Brittany was enjoying a quiet dinner

01:11:04.850 --> 01:11:07.250
with her assistant and bodyguard. She was simply

01:11:07.250 --> 01:11:09.270
telling the story about how her dog was barking

01:11:09.270 --> 01:11:11.770
at the neighbors. At no point did she put anyone

01:11:11.770 --> 01:11:14.750
in danger with a knife. Oh, so she was reenacting

01:11:14.750 --> 01:11:21.090
the barks. What a crazy broad. She is a mentally

01:11:21.090 --> 01:11:26.409
ill. And why do I say that? Because I'm mentally

01:11:26.409 --> 01:11:29.619
ill. Cutting her hamburger in half. This constant

01:11:29.619 --> 01:11:31.800
attack on everything that she does. And this

01:11:31.800 --> 01:11:34.659
is exactly what. Oh, shut up. She brought it

01:11:34.659 --> 01:11:37.939
upon herself by constantly being crazy in public.

01:11:38.939 --> 01:11:42.319
Everybody that surrounds her kisses her ass.

01:11:43.300 --> 01:11:45.800
Up in 20 years ago when the media tried to depict

01:11:45.800 --> 01:11:48.279
Britney as a bad person. She's not a bad person.

01:11:48.340 --> 01:11:56.460
She's annoying. Oh, yeah. Time for. Alex Earl

01:11:56.460 --> 01:12:00.460
News. Ron Hoppy on the air. Yeah, we back in

01:12:00.460 --> 01:12:05.340
this. Turn it up in your car. In your cubicle.

01:12:06.279 --> 01:12:10.060
Wherever you at. We got another one to talk about.

01:12:10.399 --> 01:12:17.260
Got it. Scroll, same face, same pose. Filter

01:12:17.260 --> 01:12:20.020
on thick like them fake friends' clothes Capture

01:12:20.020 --> 01:12:22.619
so deep it don't say one thing But the brand

01:12:22.619 --> 01:12:25.260
deal link always stay front page She rehearse

01:12:25.260 --> 01:12:27.920
that laugh that I'm just like you In a hotel

01:12:27.920 --> 01:12:30.779
mirror with a spontaneous view Wants a mic, wants

01:12:30.779 --> 01:12:33.180
the merch, wants the podcast share Say a whole

01:12:33.180 --> 01:12:35.140
lot of words but there's nothing really there

01:12:35.140 --> 01:12:39.260
Alex Ferrell is a wannabe, call her daddy Wannabe,

01:12:39.520 --> 01:12:44.859
wannabe Tryna copy every topic, everybody Yeah,

01:12:44.899 --> 01:12:48.149
I'll suck, I'll blush But it's hollow in the

01:12:48.149 --> 01:12:52.390
center. You forget about the dinner. Alex Pearl

01:12:52.390 --> 01:12:55.989
is a wannabe. That's tragic. Same script, same

01:12:55.989 --> 01:12:58.729
lines, all plastic. Happy hour, call it out.

01:12:58.869 --> 01:13:02.710
That's a habit. We allergic to the fake. Yeah,

01:13:02.710 --> 01:13:06.710
we got a habit. Storytime hit, but it's all prepped

01:13:06.710 --> 01:13:09.489
tears. Got a heartbreak arc every couple of years.

01:13:09.710 --> 01:13:12.569
New boy, same plot. Cue the ring like glow. Like

01:13:12.569 --> 01:13:15.210
we ain't seen this rerun four seasons ago. Says

01:13:15.210 --> 01:13:18.239
I'm real, I'm raw. hot mess queen but the hair

01:13:18.239 --> 01:13:21.239
never moves teeth way too clean every word sound

01:13:21.239 --> 01:13:24.539
clip from a promo sheet whole life one long sponsor

01:13:24.539 --> 01:13:28.920
me angry Alex Earl is a wannabe call a daddy

01:13:28.920 --> 01:13:32.520
wanna be wanna be wanna be trying to copy every

01:13:32.520 --> 01:13:37.640
topic everybody come on all talk all gloss but

01:13:37.640 --> 01:13:41.180
it's hollow in the center you forget about a

01:13:41.180 --> 01:13:45.689
dinner Alex Earl is a wannabe that All right,

01:13:45.689 --> 01:13:52.630
now. Anytime getting to be a part of anything

01:13:52.630 --> 01:13:56.109
with SI Swimsuit is, it's such an honor. Yeah,

01:13:56.109 --> 01:14:01.850
she was on Swimsuit edition of SI Magazine. As

01:14:01.850 --> 01:14:05.250
annoying as that thing is, she definitely is

01:14:05.250 --> 01:14:08.289
a hottie. No, and it's so magical when you get

01:14:08.289 --> 01:14:11.710
to come this week and celebrate and be together

01:14:11.710 --> 01:14:13.930
because it's really like once a year or this

01:14:13.930 --> 01:14:15.630
and maybe swim week that we all get to celebrate

01:14:15.630 --> 01:14:18.930
together and everyone is just so kind and uplifted.

01:14:18.970 --> 01:14:21.989
That's nice. I'm glad they're nice. They're not

01:14:21.989 --> 01:14:23.689
going to be rude to you. You're a hot piece of

01:14:23.689 --> 01:14:30.810
ass. You look gorgeous. This is her being asked

01:14:30.810 --> 01:14:34.369
about the reality show she's doing with her family.

01:14:35.770 --> 01:14:40.170
Her stepmom's a prostitute. And I'm being serious.

01:14:40.390 --> 01:14:45.069
Remember Governor Spencer? Mm -hmm. In good old

01:14:45.069 --> 01:14:49.869
New York, like 18 years ago. Ashley Dupree, who

01:14:49.869 --> 01:14:52.789
made some good porno. Mm -hmm. Yeah, now that's

01:14:52.789 --> 01:14:54.649
married to Alex Earle's dad. So they're doing

01:14:54.649 --> 01:14:56.050
a reality show about it. I wonder if they'll

01:14:56.050 --> 01:14:59.659
bring that up. Thank you. This is so special.

01:14:59.720 --> 01:15:01.539
Of course, we saw your TikTok video of your,

01:15:01.560 --> 01:15:03.239
where you first saw the cover and that reveal.

01:15:03.420 --> 01:15:05.180
But I want you to walk us through that moment

01:15:05.180 --> 01:15:07.359
again. What was that like for you to see that,

01:15:07.399 --> 01:15:10.720
to see your cover? I mean, it was, well. I love

01:15:10.720 --> 01:15:12.960
that little sound effect. All right, so there's

01:15:12.960 --> 01:15:19.260
that. There's the Alex. All right. What do we

01:15:19.260 --> 01:15:22.060
got going on here? What should we do? Should

01:15:22.060 --> 01:15:25.359
I keep going a little bit? I'm ready to go right

01:15:25.359 --> 01:15:30.760
now. Give me the green light. Give me just one

01:15:30.760 --> 01:15:35.100
night. I sound just like John Legend, don't I?

01:15:37.279 --> 01:15:40.340
Jason Biggs and Jenny Mullen are closing their

01:15:40.340 --> 01:15:43.880
romantic chapter. You know what the biggest mistake

01:15:43.880 --> 01:15:48.319
Jason Biggs' life was? No, it was not marrying

01:15:48.319 --> 01:15:51.340
that woman. He declined to play, I think the

01:15:51.340 --> 01:15:54.600
name of the character was Ted. from How I Met

01:15:54.600 --> 01:15:59.439
Your Mother, he declined it. And I believe he

01:15:59.439 --> 01:16:01.819
either chose a movie that didn't do well or like

01:16:01.819 --> 01:16:04.939
a short -lived sitcom. But yeah, he passed up

01:16:04.939 --> 01:16:06.739
on How I Met Your Mother. And he would have been

01:16:06.739 --> 01:16:08.899
better because that character was annoying. After

01:16:08.899 --> 01:16:11.619
nearly 20 years of marriage, a rap for the couple

01:16:11.619 --> 01:16:14.199
confirms to E! News that Is any relationship

01:16:14.199 --> 01:16:17.340
going to make it anymore? It doesn't feel like

01:16:17.340 --> 01:16:21.100
it. Feels like every relationship is doomed from

01:16:21.100 --> 01:16:25.840
the start. And after 20 years of marriage, the

01:16:25.840 --> 01:16:28.880
Angel alum and the American Pie star have broken

01:16:28.880 --> 01:16:31.939
up. The news of the duo's split comes six months

01:16:31.939 --> 01:16:34.399
after they last stepped out together to attend

01:16:34.399 --> 01:16:38.420
the 43rd Torino Film Festival in Italy. And that's

01:16:38.420 --> 01:16:42.520
proof you never know what's going on with a couple

01:16:42.520 --> 01:16:45.319
because they're out in the back and they seem

01:16:45.319 --> 01:16:52.699
so happy. 2025. Biggs and Mullen, who shared

01:16:52.699 --> 01:16:56.640
two sons together, first met in 2007 while auditioning

01:16:56.640 --> 01:16:59.439
for My Best Friend's Girl. Yeah, it didn't really

01:16:59.439 --> 01:17:02.239
take off, did it? Mm -hmm. He should have, but

01:17:02.239 --> 01:17:03.720
then if he would have gone on How I Met Your

01:17:03.720 --> 01:17:06.779
Mother, he would have never met her. And I wonder

01:17:06.779 --> 01:17:10.380
if, you know, that drives him nuts. You know

01:17:10.380 --> 01:17:12.840
the regret he feels for not doing that probably

01:17:12.840 --> 01:17:17.140
kills him inside. It would kill me! Ellen has

01:17:17.140 --> 01:17:19.479
joked that it didn't take long for the duo to

01:17:19.479 --> 01:17:21.979
hit it off, noting they were married in a FedEx

01:17:21.979 --> 01:17:24.840
Kinko's parking lot in Calabasas just nine months

01:17:24.840 --> 01:17:27.939
later. Although Austin was a wrecked marriage.

01:17:28.399 --> 01:17:30.800
The pair's whirlwind romance took less than a

01:17:30.800 --> 01:17:33.159
year to become a marriage. The I like you just

01:17:33.159 --> 01:17:40.050
the way I saw it didn't work out. Michelle Obama

01:17:40.050 --> 01:17:42.310
has a night out with her daughters, Malia and

01:17:42.310 --> 01:17:46.810
Sasha. I don't know. I like older women. I thought

01:17:46.810 --> 01:17:49.010
she was hard as hell. And I'm being serious.

01:17:49.329 --> 01:17:51.569
I don't like when people call her Mike Obama.

01:17:51.890 --> 01:17:56.149
That's racist. And you're pretty much telling

01:17:56.149 --> 01:18:01.359
us that you are an insult. Shortly after Mother's

01:18:01.359 --> 01:18:03.720
Day, Malia and Sasha Obama brought their mom

01:18:03.720 --> 01:18:06.500
Michelle to Funke Restaurant for a rare outing

01:18:06.500 --> 01:18:09.560
in Los Angeles on May 11th. The crew keeps the

01:18:09.560 --> 01:18:11.859
vibe casual with Michelle sporting distressed

01:18:11.859 --> 01:18:14.939
jeans and a green trucker hat. Meanwhile, Malia

01:18:14.939 --> 01:18:17.439
dons a knee -length floral dress with black boots

01:18:17.439 --> 01:18:20.039
and Sasha opts for a denim -on -denim ensemble.

01:18:20.479 --> 01:18:27.439
Alright, so they look hot. Nicholas Cage is celebrating

01:18:27.439 --> 01:18:31.369
a rare date night with his wife. Oh, yeah. He

01:18:31.369 --> 01:18:34.850
seems like a good -ass dude. His son's a little

01:18:34.850 --> 01:18:39.130
weird, but so am I. The 62 -year -old Oscar -winning

01:18:39.130 --> 01:18:42.689
actor. He's 62. Oh, my gosh. I mean, it makes

01:18:42.689 --> 01:18:46.609
sense with the passage of time and whatnot. Nicolas

01:18:46.609 --> 01:18:50.090
Cage is 62. He stepped out with his 31 -year

01:18:50.090 --> 01:18:52.710
-old wife, Rico Shibata, at the premiere of his

01:18:52.710 --> 01:18:55.869
new prime video series, Spider Noir. I'll be

01:18:55.869 --> 01:18:59.390
sure not to see him. He must have some deal.

01:19:00.680 --> 01:19:02.699
With Amazon Prime, because there was that story

01:19:02.699 --> 01:19:04.520
that he had to pay off that debt. But it seems

01:19:04.520 --> 01:19:08.380
like he's always on Amazon Prime. It's like a

01:19:08.380 --> 01:19:11.359
Friday night and you're looking for something

01:19:11.359 --> 01:19:14.180
to watch. It's Amazon Prime with Nicolas Cage.

01:19:15.479 --> 01:19:21.460
But when you get my age, you have one orgasm

01:19:21.460 --> 01:19:23.939
in the last three days. Pam Breer is keeping

01:19:23.939 --> 01:19:27.060
it real about getting older. Oh, yeah. So Pam

01:19:27.060 --> 01:19:29.520
Greer says her orgasms last for three days. Man,

01:19:29.760 --> 01:19:32.979
if mine lasts more than 20 seconds, I'm straggling.

01:19:33.220 --> 01:19:36.520
And her sex life. During the May 13th episode

01:19:36.520 --> 01:19:39.920
of the Wiser Than Me podcast, host Julia Louis

01:19:39.920 --> 01:19:42.880
-Dreyfus. Oh, that hot piece of ass. Asked Pam

01:19:42.880 --> 01:19:45.760
a simple question. Does she still feel young?

01:19:45.960 --> 01:19:48.939
And let's just say the actress doesn't hold back.

01:19:49.119 --> 01:19:51.760
Oh, yeah. That's what they all say in these clips.

01:19:51.840 --> 01:19:54.380
Oh, they don't hold back. They don't hold back.

01:19:55.850 --> 01:20:00.529
Good for you. Jackie Brownstar candidly reveals.

01:20:01.029 --> 01:20:03.090
Yes, I do. Because when you're young, you can

01:20:03.090 --> 01:20:06.090
have three, four, five orgasms in an hour. But

01:20:06.090 --> 01:20:08.529
when you get my age. Well, that's women. Women's

01:20:08.529 --> 01:20:10.569
orgasms. The girl can be on top. And she's like,

01:20:10.609 --> 01:20:13.029
I've orgasmed three times. And I'm like, I'm

01:20:13.029 --> 01:20:16.390
trying to get there. Give me a second. Let me

01:20:16.390 --> 01:20:19.510
go to pound town. This whiskey ain't helping.

01:20:19.770 --> 01:20:22.409
You have one orgasm in the last three days. You

01:20:22.409 --> 01:20:25.310
know what's the worst? I know guys out there

01:20:25.310 --> 01:20:27.090
can relate to this, but no one says it, but I'll

01:20:27.090 --> 01:20:30.470
say it. The absolute worst is when you didn't

01:20:30.470 --> 01:20:34.310
pee. And you're going at it with a girl, and

01:20:34.310 --> 01:20:37.390
you're like, oh, crap. That ain't the other.

01:20:38.189 --> 01:20:41.850
Release that, I gotta pee. Understandably, Julia

01:20:41.850 --> 01:20:55.760
is stunned. You do you, boo. Today on TMZ. Okay,

01:20:55.939 --> 01:20:59.380
I love Catherine McPhee, but when it comes to

01:20:59.380 --> 01:21:02.260
changing lyrics of a song, she is not better

01:21:02.260 --> 01:21:06.220
than all the rest. God, is she hot. Mmm, I would

01:21:06.220 --> 01:21:10.359
bring the ruckus with hot. David Foster and Catherine

01:21:10.359 --> 01:21:13.180
McPhee had a big fundraiser for Spencer Pratt.

01:21:13.260 --> 01:21:15.579
Oh, damn it, Foster seems like an absolute clot.

01:21:16.020 --> 01:21:18.340
Catherine McPhee starts singing Simply the Best,

01:21:18.420 --> 01:21:20.960
but she changes the lyrics to Spencer is Simply

01:21:20.960 --> 01:21:24.840
the Best. Oh, that's so creative. And it's a

01:21:24.840 --> 01:21:32.060
lie. You would think Spencer would. He's better

01:21:32.060 --> 01:21:34.100
than Karen. He's better than Karen Bass with

01:21:34.100 --> 01:21:37.520
the lyrics. That is so hacky. Just be rocking

01:21:37.520 --> 01:21:39.739
out to this, right? Damn, he really looks like

01:21:39.739 --> 01:21:42.439
he's enjoying it. Yeah, he's like, what the fuck's

01:21:42.439 --> 01:21:45.920
going on here? I'll cheat on my wife later with

01:21:45.920 --> 01:21:49.560
her. Travis Kelsey said that he has no issue

01:21:49.560 --> 01:21:52.239
being like the plus one of Taylor Swift. Yeah,

01:21:52.260 --> 01:21:56.859
you're a beta male. How nice is it to be the

01:21:56.859 --> 01:22:01.079
less famous person in your relationship? Huge

01:22:01.079 --> 01:22:04.619
relief. You know what I will say? I don't think

01:22:04.619 --> 01:22:08.680
Travis gets enough credit for making Taylor more

01:22:08.680 --> 01:22:12.140
famous. Now I know, people. I've said this before

01:22:12.140 --> 01:22:15.300
and all the women I brought this up to they're

01:22:15.300 --> 01:22:17.640
all like well yeah you know that ain't true he

01:22:17.640 --> 01:22:20.260
made her more she made him more famous but he

01:22:20.260 --> 01:22:23.520
also made her famous within the NFL community

01:22:23.520 --> 01:22:29.130
laughing Do you know how much more famous he

01:22:29.130 --> 01:22:32.069
is with her than without her? Obviously, she

01:22:32.069 --> 01:22:33.550
has benefited him, but then he has benefited

01:22:33.550 --> 01:22:36.750
her now, too. Exactly! All of them benefited

01:22:36.750 --> 01:22:38.729
greatly from their relationship. Everybody she

01:22:38.729 --> 01:22:41.050
dates, she uses as inspiration. If she could

01:22:41.050 --> 01:22:42.770
date me, it'd be great for her. Oh, yeah, right!

01:22:46.760 --> 01:22:48.819
Scooter Braun and Sidney Sweeney are in love.

01:22:48.960 --> 01:22:52.100
She posted them kissing. God, if you have that

01:22:52.100 --> 01:22:55.779
woman on your lap every night, you must just

01:22:55.779 --> 01:22:58.720
be enjoying it. It must be the greatest feeling

01:22:58.720 --> 01:23:02.500
ever. Non -stop, they are dancing. I'm just dancing,

01:23:02.500 --> 01:23:05.680
romancing. Telling you they're going to get married.

01:23:05.859 --> 01:23:08.199
I don't know. Scooter Braun getting married to

01:23:08.199 --> 01:23:12.689
her. What was Anthony DeVino or whatever her

01:23:12.689 --> 01:23:14.670
ex's name? You know he's crying himself to sleep.

01:23:17.350 --> 01:23:19.670
There's nothing worse than thinking about your

01:23:19.670 --> 01:23:28.409
ex getting plowed or scissoring. This is Vin

01:23:28.409 --> 01:23:35.409
Diesel crying about Paul Walker. He loved his

01:23:35.409 --> 01:23:46.199
16 year olds. Man, he does not know how to talk.

01:23:46.260 --> 01:23:51.840
He's so weird. Here's the clip. Pumpkin's axe.

01:23:52.000 --> 01:23:58.300
Pumpkin from Marma June Show. Pumpkin's axe.

01:23:58.359 --> 01:24:00.720
Josh ghosted Jessica's wedding. And here's the

01:24:00.720 --> 01:24:02.960
white trash recap. You're still not going to

01:24:02.960 --> 01:24:06.699
spill no tea about what Josh said? He's a grown

01:24:06.699 --> 01:24:10.130
ass man. He comes, he come. What do you mean

01:24:10.130 --> 01:24:13.489
if Josh comes, he comes? You didn't make him

01:24:13.489 --> 01:24:15.930
come that much. He's the one supposed to be officiating

01:24:15.930 --> 01:24:18.289
this whole thing. What did he tell you? He didn't

01:24:18.289 --> 01:24:22.609
tell me anything. You're white trash. I got a

01:24:22.609 --> 01:24:24.789
piece of his secret epiphy. I'm not that secret.

01:24:25.149 --> 01:24:27.130
All right. God, it's like the movie Idiocracy.

01:24:27.390 --> 01:24:31.449
Think about it. I say this every show. You know,

01:24:31.449 --> 01:24:34.369
there's a couple out there trying so hard to

01:24:34.369 --> 01:24:39.100
have kids. Cute. And then that moron just reproduces

01:24:39.100 --> 01:24:45.140
being mom of Jared and her dumb kids. Nile Horn

01:24:45.140 --> 01:24:48.420
is not attending Harry Styles' wedding. Yeah,

01:24:48.520 --> 01:24:53.229
they don't seem like they really get along. The

01:24:53.229 --> 01:24:55.130
former One Direction member sat down with The

01:24:55.130 --> 01:24:57.829
Edge New Zealand in an interview published May

01:24:57.829 --> 01:25:00.710
13th. One asked if he has any weddings coming

01:25:00.710 --> 01:25:03.470
up of anyone he used to work with, with the host

01:25:03.470 --> 01:25:05.789
implying Harry Styles' future wedding to Zoe

01:25:05.789 --> 01:25:10.569
Kravitz. Nile says, I'm not going. If that's

01:25:10.569 --> 01:25:12.949
what you're asking, I'm a busy man. No, you're

01:25:12.949 --> 01:25:14.930
never too busy for somebody. You just don't get

01:25:14.930 --> 01:25:18.369
along with them. And you're being passive. Aggressive!

01:25:20.250 --> 01:25:21.890
And you're not being genuine. That's probably

01:25:21.890 --> 01:25:28.109
why your career hasn't taken off. Oh, yeah. What

01:25:28.109 --> 01:25:31.779
do we got right here? Duck Dynasty star Alan

01:25:31.779 --> 01:25:34.340
Robertson is reflecting on his 40 -year marriage

01:25:34.340 --> 01:25:37.180
to wife Lisa. Oh, yeah, you know, she cheated

01:25:37.180 --> 01:25:39.119
on him. ...feeling an affair that almost broke

01:25:39.119 --> 01:25:41.479
the couple up, but in... Yeah, you know, he probably

01:25:41.479 --> 01:25:44.680
cheated too. It's that bitter -eyed morning radio

01:25:44.680 --> 01:25:47.800
host that whips somebody's ass and cheats on

01:25:47.800 --> 01:25:50.960
their wife all the time. And it's always when

01:25:50.960 --> 01:25:54.000
the woman starts banging someone else, it drives

01:25:54.000 --> 01:25:56.699
them nuts. ...instead made them find their way

01:25:56.699 --> 01:25:58.960
back to one another. In an interview with Fox

01:25:58.960 --> 01:26:01.489
News... Digital published May 15th, Allen and

01:26:01.489 --> 01:26:03.829
Lisa discussing their decades -long relationship.

01:26:04.170 --> 01:26:06.890
You know he is a small penis. Admitting to Lisa's

01:26:06.890 --> 01:26:10.569
affair with an old boyfriend 15 years into their

01:26:10.569 --> 01:26:14.329
marriage. Oh, yeah! Allen telling Fox News the

01:26:14.329 --> 01:26:16.189
two agreed to a temporary... Of course he told

01:26:16.189 --> 01:26:19.470
Fox News. Mm -hmm. Separation when he found out

01:26:19.470 --> 01:26:21.949
about his wife's affair. Oh, what a beta male.

01:26:21.989 --> 01:26:26.310
You went back? You know she's been plowed by

01:26:26.310 --> 01:26:29.579
other guys since then. However, the two ultimately

01:26:29.579 --> 01:26:35.119
reconciled. Oh, that's stepping. Bye. I really

01:26:35.119 --> 01:26:40.060
see a little bitch. But I'm also not a dumb redneck.

01:26:40.079 --> 01:26:47.699
So whatever. Honestly, I couldn't be more excited.

01:26:47.800 --> 01:26:50.340
As you know, it's been my dream forever since

01:26:50.340 --> 01:26:53.079
I was a little kid. Pete Davidson achieved his

01:26:53.079 --> 01:26:55.520
dream of becoming a dad with girlfriend Elsie

01:26:55.520 --> 01:27:00.640
Hewitt. I am in a breakup. She seems real high

01:27:00.640 --> 01:27:04.359
maintenance. I'm just stoked. But ET can confirm

01:27:04.359 --> 01:27:06.939
their fairy tale romance has come to an end.

01:27:07.539 --> 01:27:12.310
Pete, you got to figure it out, dog. Five months

01:27:12.310 --> 01:27:14.729
after welcoming their daughter, Scotty. This

01:27:14.729 --> 01:27:16.689
is coming from someone that's been through like

01:27:16.689 --> 01:27:18.649
50 women and can't figure it out either, so I

01:27:18.649 --> 01:27:21.369
can see it through them and me. I've been fortunate

01:27:21.369 --> 01:27:23.869
enough to have some great relationships. A source

01:27:23.869 --> 01:27:27.109
telling ET Pete and Elsie are dunzo, but trying

01:27:27.109 --> 01:27:29.949
to work through what the future looks like for

01:27:29.949 --> 01:27:32.050
them, considering their baby is the priority.

01:27:32.489 --> 01:27:34.430
That's good. I'll help you figure it out, Pete.

01:27:34.750 --> 01:27:41.239
Mm -hmm. Whoa! Happy Hot Topic! Hot Topic! Come

01:27:41.239 --> 01:27:43.279
here. This way. That's what Mike Calta sounds

01:27:43.279 --> 01:27:46.380
like when he first wakes up. Come here. This

01:27:46.380 --> 01:27:51.159
way. No. Come on. The pig doth protest, but so

01:27:51.159 --> 01:27:54.020
did the neighbors who called 911 after seeing

01:27:54.020 --> 01:27:56.180
the animal wandering around their neighborhood.

01:27:56.760 --> 01:28:00.039
This is Hamlet. Oh, yeah, you know, you got a

01:28:00.039 --> 01:28:03.359
pig being chased by a cop. So it's a pig chasing

01:28:03.359 --> 01:28:08.020
a pig. Something was rotten in the state of Ohio.

01:28:09.659 --> 01:28:14.399
Our Ohio's rotten. They're very mean. Aww, he's

01:28:14.399 --> 01:28:17.279
a cute little piggy. As long as he was away from

01:28:17.279 --> 01:28:19.800
home, while he charmed the responding officers,

01:28:19.920 --> 01:28:22.279
they were still committed to reuniting him with

01:28:22.279 --> 01:28:25.600
his family. A neighbor who believed he knew which

01:28:25.600 --> 01:28:28.000
house was the pig's helped get him back there.

01:28:28.279 --> 01:28:35.380
Alright, so that worked out. And then the other

01:28:35.380 --> 01:28:37.500
pig went home and saw his wife cheating on him.

01:28:38.039 --> 01:28:39.340
I didn't know you were addicted to ketamine.

01:28:39.619 --> 01:28:44.600
Oh, here's Zach Sangler. I used to talk to him

01:28:44.600 --> 01:28:49.819
a little bit. And he's really blown up. It's

01:28:49.819 --> 01:28:52.899
good for him. But man, he's one of those radio

01:28:52.899 --> 01:28:56.840
guys that once he blows up, you never hear from

01:28:56.840 --> 01:28:59.800
him. He has the menis disease. I didn't know

01:28:59.800 --> 01:29:02.020
you were addicted to ketamine. It was anything

01:29:02.020 --> 01:29:05.199
to make me numb at any given time. It's truly

01:29:05.199 --> 01:29:08.760
a miracle I didn't take my life. Joshua Bassett

01:29:08.760 --> 01:29:11.579
detailing his harrowing experience with ketamine

01:29:11.579 --> 01:29:14.039
addiction. This is after dealing with Olivia

01:29:14.039 --> 01:29:17.340
Rodrigo drama. Yeah! You know that hot piece

01:29:17.340 --> 01:29:20.600
of ass who tried to ruin your life? Admitting

01:29:20.600 --> 01:29:23.539
he turned to drugs to escape reality. Amid his

01:29:23.539 --> 01:29:25.960
high -profile romance with high school musical

01:29:25.960 --> 01:29:29.100
The Musical, the series co -star Olivia Rodrigo.

01:29:29.180 --> 01:29:31.359
God, she's so hot, but you know, if she's doing

01:29:31.359 --> 01:29:34.119
a song talking about a sociopath, listen to her!

01:29:35.840 --> 01:29:37.920
Because that's what she is. Which ended just

01:29:37.920 --> 01:29:40.779
before the release of her tell -all track, Driver's

01:29:40.779 --> 01:29:42.520
License. Alright, so they're going to have music

01:29:42.520 --> 01:29:46.960
in it, but... Yeah. Speaking of ketamine... This

01:29:46.960 --> 01:29:51.520
morning, the drug addiction counselor who delivered

01:29:51.520 --> 01:29:54.140
Friends star Matthew Perry the doses of ketamine

01:29:54.140 --> 01:29:56.439
that eventually killed him has been sentenced

01:29:56.439 --> 01:30:02.159
to two years behind bars. Loser! I'm regretfully

01:30:02.159 --> 01:30:05.789
sorry. And, um... I wish I could take it back.

01:30:06.090 --> 01:30:09.229
All right, well, I'm burning now. Although Matthew

01:30:09.229 --> 01:30:11.489
needs to take some accountability from purgatory.

01:30:12.770 --> 01:30:21.670
Okay, so it looks like there are a lot of questions

01:30:21.670 --> 01:30:24.470
right now about what's going on at the FDA. So

01:30:24.470 --> 01:30:26.170
we're following. Yeah, we always are curious.

01:30:26.369 --> 01:30:30.210
Because there are more runs. And they usually

01:30:30.210 --> 01:30:33.560
side with things that make the money. those clicks

01:30:33.560 --> 01:30:35.859
and curiosity and it looks like you guys want

01:30:35.859 --> 01:30:37.640
to know more about why the agency's commissioner

01:30:37.640 --> 01:30:41.119
is stepping down and i don't care so they the

01:30:41.119 --> 01:30:43.539
clip was going to say they authorized two fruit

01:30:43.539 --> 01:30:50.140
flavored vapes oh that's good Survivor's Jeff

01:30:50.140 --> 01:30:52.779
Probst is addressing the Zac Brown cameo backlash.

01:30:53.439 --> 01:30:55.840
After many Survivor fans... Man, if you're offended

01:30:55.840 --> 01:30:58.819
by that, you need to realize life is short and

01:30:58.819 --> 01:31:01.119
it doesn't matter. Fans were upset over the amount

01:31:01.119 --> 01:31:03.260
of screen time the country singer received on

01:31:03.260 --> 01:31:06.079
a recent episode of the show's 50th season. The

01:31:06.079 --> 01:31:08.319
longtime Survivor host addresses the criticism,

01:31:08.619 --> 01:31:11.220
telling Variety in an interview published on

01:31:11.220 --> 01:31:14.319
May 13th, It's fascinating to me that a couple

01:31:14.319 --> 01:31:16.600
of people, most of them either former players

01:31:16.600 --> 01:31:19.199
or people who will never play... criticize the

01:31:19.199 --> 01:31:22.079
show, and it gets momentum. I tell anyone who

01:31:22.079 --> 01:31:24.380
wants to listen, if that's your goal to somehow

01:31:24.380 --> 01:31:27.340
impact our point of view, it will fail. Yeah,

01:31:27.380 --> 01:31:29.520
they're on like season 50 million. It's never

01:31:29.520 --> 01:31:35.560
going to go away. Charlie Keough is turning heads

01:31:35.560 --> 01:31:38.680
and possibly breaking Canfield. And giving head.

01:31:40.869 --> 01:31:43.189
Hopefully without teeth. Festival dress code

01:31:43.189 --> 01:31:45.850
rules. In a sheer look that has onlookers all

01:31:45.850 --> 01:31:48.829
shook up. All shook up, dude. Around the rules

01:31:48.829 --> 01:31:51.750
of the dress code of the 2026 Cannes Film Festival.

01:31:52.010 --> 01:31:54.970
So she wore an outfit that offended people. There

01:31:54.970 --> 01:31:59.029
you go. What do we got right here in nepotism?

01:31:59.609 --> 01:32:05.909
I wonder if the Joe show talked about this. They

01:32:05.909 --> 01:32:09.180
call me. Biggie, Jenna Bush Hager is not thrilled

01:32:09.180 --> 01:32:12.000
about her new family nickname. Oh, yeah, you

01:32:12.000 --> 01:32:15.800
know, you should be lucky. I mean, you are lucky.

01:32:15.880 --> 01:32:18.619
You should be grateful that you got the job because

01:32:18.619 --> 01:32:22.619
you're a daddy. I'm not saying you're not good

01:32:22.619 --> 01:32:25.699
on TV. But if your last name was not Bush, you

01:32:25.699 --> 01:32:28.500
wouldn't be on that show. During the May 13th

01:32:28.500 --> 01:32:31.699
episode of Today with Jenna and Chanel, Jenna,

01:32:31.800 --> 01:32:34.539
who's mom to daughters 13 -year -old Mila and

01:32:34.539 --> 01:32:37.460
10 -year -old Poppy, God, Jenna, you can say

01:32:37.460 --> 01:32:39.439
what you want. She is hot. Well, a six -year

01:32:39.439 --> 01:32:42.300
-old son, Hal, reveals that her three kids have

01:32:42.300 --> 01:32:46.260
officially retired mom and replaced it with Biggie.

01:32:49.159 --> 01:32:52.340
Explaining. I'm like, okay, Biggie. And I'm like,

01:32:52.340 --> 01:32:55.979
what? Excuse me? Yeah, you know, it's got to

01:32:55.979 --> 01:32:58.079
be kind of humbling. You're the president's daughter.

01:32:58.199 --> 01:33:01.920
You're used to everyone kissing your ass. Reveals

01:33:01.920 --> 01:33:04.920
where the name actually stems from. Adding the

01:33:04.920 --> 01:33:08.039
root word is big back with her eldest. All right.

01:33:08.439 --> 01:33:12.100
I'm coming back. Eight, five, six, 49. Happy.

01:33:12.579 --> 01:33:18.000
Happy hot topic. Girl clouds. Ryan Lochte claps

01:33:18.000 --> 01:33:21.279
back at the Internet's reaction to his new look.

01:33:21.880 --> 01:33:41.760
Yeah, who cares? I'm stupid. After seeing the

01:33:41.760 --> 01:33:44.539
internet's response, his girlfriend, Molly Gillihan,

01:33:44.819 --> 01:33:48.199
shares a video to Instagram on May 14th. You

01:33:48.199 --> 01:33:52.399
know, she's dating him for that riveting. Personality.

01:33:53.039 --> 01:33:55.819
When I think of Ryan Lochte, I think of a riveting

01:33:55.819 --> 01:34:01.359
personality. Ryan. My phone is blowing up with

01:34:01.359 --> 01:34:04.260
everyone saying that nobody recognizes you. But

01:34:04.260 --> 01:34:06.079
Ryan is. That's good. Maybe you can be a little

01:34:06.079 --> 01:34:08.560
more anonymous and go away. Isn't exactly losing

01:34:08.560 --> 01:34:12.119
sleep over it. Whatever. He just swims his life

01:34:12.119 --> 01:34:15.140
away. Don't know what that means. And we're comparing

01:34:15.140 --> 01:34:18.420
his current look to photos from his 2012 Olympics

01:34:18.420 --> 01:34:24.060
era. We're in 2026. He got a little chubby. What's

01:34:24.060 --> 01:34:26.640
that, 14 years? They're all. All right, there

01:34:26.640 --> 01:34:30.380
you go. Ryan Markdown. He sounds a little less

01:34:30.380 --> 01:34:36.760
stupid. Maybe she helps him. Oh, yeah. What have

01:34:36.760 --> 01:34:43.340
you got going on? With a Benny Blanco. Selena

01:34:43.340 --> 01:34:45.859
Gomez's stomach wants what it wants. Whether

01:34:45.859 --> 01:34:48.239
that's fast food for breakfast or, according

01:34:48.239 --> 01:34:50.880
to her husband, Benny Blanco, anything a five

01:34:50.880 --> 01:34:55.470
-year -old would eat. Either she's really going

01:34:55.470 --> 01:34:57.350
to be able to laugh at this headline, or she's

01:34:57.350 --> 01:35:00.430
going to be really offended. Benny chatting with

01:35:00.430 --> 01:35:02.689
Gwyneth Paltrow at a Goof podcast taping May

01:35:02.689 --> 01:35:05.609
12th, per the Daily Mail, revealing Selena prefers

01:35:05.609 --> 01:35:08.470
to eat whatever is bad for your diet. Me too,

01:35:08.609 --> 01:35:11.210
baby doll. Adding, Selena has the diet of a five

01:35:11.210 --> 01:35:13.289
-year -old child. This morning, I walked in,

01:35:13.329 --> 01:35:15.970
and she was eating Jack in the Box at 6 .45 in

01:35:15.970 --> 01:35:18.029
the morning. Yeah, she was farting a lot. Though

01:35:18.029 --> 01:35:20.050
Benny confessed his wife doesn't really like

01:35:20.050 --> 01:35:23.130
fruits or vegetables, the music producer I did

01:35:23.130 --> 01:35:25.810
acknowledge the one healthy thing Selena enjoys.

01:35:26.130 --> 01:35:29.729
What? She will eat the shit out of Goop. All

01:35:29.729 --> 01:35:33.949
right, Goop. Gross. Celebrities are so strange.

01:35:35.649 --> 01:35:40.609
Ariel Winter and Luke Benward are calling it

01:35:40.609 --> 01:35:43.289
quits. Oh, yeah. We talked about this earlier.

01:35:43.729 --> 01:35:46.609
But this is a COVID relationship that couldn't

01:35:46.609 --> 01:35:50.560
last. Nearly six years after E! News confirmed

01:35:50.560 --> 01:35:52.899
the pair were dating, the couple - Oh, E! News

01:35:52.899 --> 01:35:57.140
confirmed it! I'm sure it totally wasn't TMZ

01:35:57.140 --> 01:36:00.079
first. Gone their separate ways, Ariel confirmed

01:36:00.079 --> 01:36:03.859
May 14th. Commenting under People's May 14th

01:36:03.859 --> 01:36:06.460
Instagram post, she said, quote, He's still one

01:36:06.460 --> 01:36:08.420
of my best friends, a great human being, and

01:36:08.420 --> 01:36:10.760
a great pup co -parent. Oh, that's gotta make

01:36:10.760 --> 01:36:13.739
you feel terrible. Mm -hmm. He's still a good

01:36:13.739 --> 01:36:16.800
friend! That's not what you want! Just because

01:36:16.800 --> 01:36:19.060
sometimes people aren't meant to be doesn't mean

01:36:19.060 --> 01:36:21.340
you don't still appreciate the time spent and

01:36:21.340 --> 01:36:23.920
retain the friendship you shared. I'm going to

01:36:23.920 --> 01:36:28.159
miss those boobies. No! Don't leave me! Happy

01:36:28.159 --> 01:36:32.840
Hot Topic! Here's a Jersey Shore cast. We are

01:36:32.840 --> 01:36:36.100
the Avengers of reality TV when we come together.

01:36:36.300 --> 01:36:40.279
I'm anorexic, bro. He's like, Mom, what is this?

01:36:40.399 --> 01:36:42.600
And it's me getting arrested on the beach. Oh,

01:36:42.640 --> 01:36:46.260
yeah, you know, a lot of them have kids, and

01:36:46.260 --> 01:36:50.520
they got to respond to their past. We clash,

01:36:50.640 --> 01:36:54.140
but we get along. She looks dirty. I feel stupid

01:36:54.140 --> 01:36:55.859
for listening to that, and I love Jersey Shore.

01:36:58.020 --> 01:37:00.579
And Angelina is really starting to look like

01:37:00.579 --> 01:37:07.609
an actual hamster. Kiefer Sutherland is the latest

01:37:07.609 --> 01:37:10.090
celebrity to cancel a music tour due to various

01:37:10.090 --> 01:37:15.210
reasons. I'm going to be honest. I think the

01:37:15.210 --> 01:37:17.670
biggest problem was I didn't even know Kiefer

01:37:17.670 --> 01:37:21.470
Sutherland sang. His, however, made clear low

01:37:21.470 --> 01:37:23.909
ticket sales. Kiefer writing in an Instagram

01:37:23.909 --> 01:37:26.550
post May 15th. With great disappointment, I am

01:37:26.550 --> 01:37:28.869
going to have to cancel the U .S. leg of my tour

01:37:28.869 --> 01:37:32.909
due to very low ticket sales. Bye. See you later,

01:37:32.949 --> 01:37:39.850
baby doll. Fuck. I can't play this because of

01:37:39.850 --> 01:37:44.510
copyright. But Ludacris bought his wife a $500

01:37:44.510 --> 01:37:47.970
,000 car. So you know someone cheated recently.

01:37:52.239 --> 01:37:56.739
Today on TMZ. Okay, so suppose you're eating

01:37:56.739 --> 01:37:59.460
dinner at a restaurant and Britney Spears walks

01:37:59.460 --> 01:38:02.380
past you with a knife. What do you psychopath

01:38:02.380 --> 01:38:06.960
do? We got photos of Britney at dinner. We're

01:38:06.960 --> 01:38:09.300
told she took the knife from the table and was

01:38:09.300 --> 01:38:11.680
walking around the restaurant with it. Come on,

01:38:11.779 --> 01:38:14.949
grow up! You're 40 years old! People inside the

01:38:14.949 --> 01:38:16.649
restaurant tell us it was quite alarming. Wait,

01:38:16.670 --> 01:38:18.770
wait, wait, wait. So she gets up from the table

01:38:18.770 --> 01:38:20.930
holding the knife. And is walking around the

01:38:20.930 --> 01:38:22.869
restaurant with the knife. What a crazy run.

01:38:23.489 --> 01:38:25.890
Now we know what was behind the argument between

01:38:25.890 --> 01:38:28.289
Cardi B and Stefan Diggs outside of a coffee

01:38:28.289 --> 01:38:30.949
shop. She was hungry. Cardi. What an annoying

01:38:30.949 --> 01:38:33.510
broad chance. Is addressed it. She says, damn,

01:38:33.590 --> 01:38:35.090
y 'all ain't never cussed your baby dad out when

01:38:35.090 --> 01:38:36.810
you're hungry? I don't buy it because she was

01:38:36.810 --> 01:38:38.850
inside the restaurant. Yeah, there were witnesses

01:38:38.850 --> 01:38:40.890
claiming that they could hear her saying, that

01:38:40.890 --> 01:38:47.789
girl's messy. She's messy. Cardi's messy. Well,

01:38:47.789 --> 01:38:49.350
maybe it was somebody eating in the restaurant.

01:38:51.590 --> 01:38:55.590
AOC is weighing in on Spencer Pratt. God, I'm

01:38:55.590 --> 01:39:00.710
starting to fall in love with her. AOC's so hot,

01:39:00.890 --> 01:39:05.270
it's crazy. Run for mayor. Cortez. In politics,

01:39:05.430 --> 01:39:07.869
you just have to present yourself. Maybe it's

01:39:07.869 --> 01:39:09.689
because she's Puerto Rican, man. She's just so

01:39:09.689 --> 01:39:17.039
freaking fine. Ow. Speaking of politics, guess

01:39:17.039 --> 01:39:21.159
who's back from Washington, D .C.? They all did

01:39:21.159 --> 01:39:23.699
their thing and bothered people over there. Good

01:39:23.699 --> 01:39:31.800
for them. What have we got here? John Travolta

01:39:31.800 --> 01:39:34.260
and daughter Ella have a father -daughter date

01:39:34.260 --> 01:39:37.739
night on the can red carpet. The 72 -year -old

01:39:37.739 --> 01:39:40.710
actor and his 26 -year -old daughter. Man, he

01:39:40.710 --> 01:39:43.390
looks good for 72. Scientology does not make

01:39:43.390 --> 01:39:53.090
you age or anything. All right, so he got that.

01:39:53.210 --> 01:39:56.590
Good for him. Heard he's a very nice guy, despite

01:39:56.590 --> 01:40:02.619
the Scientology. We talked about it and we were

01:40:02.619 --> 01:40:04.680
like, that would be too ridiculous. That would

01:40:04.680 --> 01:40:06.340
be, and it would take up all this time in the

01:40:06.340 --> 01:40:08.880
cold open. It would seem like we wouldn't. And

01:40:08.880 --> 01:40:14.140
then he for real did it. Jimmy fell on with his

01:40:14.140 --> 01:40:18.199
fake laugh. He for real did it. I'm coked up.

01:40:18.399 --> 01:40:22.319
Two weeks later. Oh my God. Colin Jost may have

01:40:22.319 --> 01:40:25.720
accidentally tapped into psychic powers he didn't

01:40:25.720 --> 01:40:29.060
know he had. All right, so. The Saturday Night

01:40:29.060 --> 01:40:31.539
Live star has been earning raves for his betrayal

01:40:31.539 --> 01:40:34.819
of Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth on The Loser

01:40:34.819 --> 01:40:40.039
Douchebag, the legendary sketch series. And he

01:40:40.039 --> 01:40:42.319
told Jimmy Fallon during a recent Tonight Show

01:40:42.319 --> 01:40:45.520
interview that Art ended up imitating life in

01:40:45.520 --> 01:40:49.579
a truly unexpected and even eerie way. Hegseth

01:40:49.579 --> 01:40:52.239
himself made headlines in recent weeks. All right,

01:40:52.260 --> 01:40:54.840
so he predicted this. Hegseth is such a twat.

01:40:55.159 --> 01:40:58.140
When I worked with Tom Bernard, he told me how

01:40:58.140 --> 01:41:03.260
much of a douche he is. Speaking of this douchebag.

01:41:03.739 --> 01:41:06.600
After being tried for a third time on charges

01:41:06.600 --> 01:41:09.100
of rape, Harvey Weinstein's latest legal case

01:41:09.100 --> 01:41:12.420
once again ended in a mistrial. If there's anybody

01:41:12.420 --> 01:41:14.939
out there that thinks he's innocent, you are

01:41:14.939 --> 01:41:19.819
a stupid, moronic contrarian. Of course he's

01:41:19.819 --> 01:41:28.659
guilty. You're all a bunch of morons. What's

01:41:28.659 --> 01:41:32.420
not unanimous? We all know he did it. This is

01:41:32.420 --> 01:41:35.539
what drives me nuts about the judicial system

01:41:35.539 --> 01:41:39.699
in America. You always have the contrarians that

01:41:39.699 --> 01:41:42.989
view it differently. Of course he did it. and

01:41:42.989 --> 01:41:46.569
he's walking in with his cane oh shut up reports

01:41:46.569 --> 01:41:49.710
weinstein is accused of allegedly raping actress

01:41:49.710 --> 01:41:52.310
and hair stylist jessica man in a new york city

01:41:52.310 --> 01:41:57.369
hotel room in 2013. if you have to rape a girl

01:41:57.369 --> 01:41:59.850
not only are you a failure in life but you have

01:41:59.850 --> 01:42:04.010
no game his lawyers claim the encounter was consensual

01:42:04.010 --> 01:42:07.609
something jessica denies no one wants to bang

01:42:07.609 --> 01:42:11.250
him he looks like freaking shrek Actually, that's

01:42:11.250 --> 01:42:14.189
insulting to Shrek. Saying she resisted and repeatedly

01:42:14.189 --> 01:42:16.949
told Weinstein no during. You can always kind

01:42:16.949 --> 01:42:20.470
of tell if someone's lying or not, but her face,

01:42:20.489 --> 01:42:24.270
she looks traumatized. The incident. Jessica

01:42:24.270 --> 01:42:27.329
first told her story to a jury in 2020 when Weinstein

01:42:27.329 --> 01:42:29.670
pleaded not guilty. He was later found guilty

01:42:29.670 --> 01:42:32.189
of third degree rape and one count of criminal

01:42:32.189 --> 01:42:35.630
sexual acts in the first degree. Moron. Leaving

01:42:35.630 --> 01:42:39.010
a 23 year prison sentence. If you think he's

01:42:39.010 --> 01:42:40.399
innocent, I don't. I want you to listen to my

01:42:40.399 --> 01:42:42.659
show. That conviction was overturned, however,

01:42:42.800 --> 01:42:45.140
four years later after New York's highest court

01:42:45.140 --> 01:42:47.279
determined improper testimony had been allowed

01:42:47.279 --> 01:42:51.100
at trial. Oops. That is why you got to make sure

01:42:51.100 --> 01:42:54.279
you bring legit evidence to court. Because sometimes

01:42:54.279 --> 01:42:59.359
it'll bite you in the ass. Every time. Case was

01:42:59.359 --> 01:43:02.359
retried in 2025, but the jury was unable to reach

01:43:02.359 --> 01:43:04.699
a verdict on the third degree rape charge related

01:43:04.699 --> 01:43:07.939
to Jessica's accusation. Here's what I want to

01:43:07.939 --> 01:43:11.619
do. Mm -hmm. To anybody that found him innocent,

01:43:11.899 --> 01:43:15.680
I just want to bitch slap you. Mm -hmm. Just

01:43:15.680 --> 01:43:21.640
want to slap you. Think you're the worst. How

01:43:21.640 --> 01:43:23.800
could you think he's innocent? Would you let

01:43:23.800 --> 01:43:26.699
him near your daughter? If so, you're a moron.

01:43:27.399 --> 01:43:33.739
There you go. 856 -49 -HOPPY. Oh, it's time for

01:43:33.739 --> 01:43:41.600
David at Beckham News. Yay. Turn it up, turn

01:43:41.600 --> 01:43:47.859
it up. We talk my talk real quick. Put up late,

01:43:47.920 --> 01:43:50.479
still first on the sheet Been bendin' these corners,

01:43:50.619 --> 01:43:52.539
I've been runnin' these streets They scrollin'

01:43:52.539 --> 01:43:54.640
for the cameras, I scrollin' for the stats Got

01:43:54.640 --> 01:43:56.720
trophies in my mind, they just posin' for the

01:43:56.720 --> 01:43:59.619
flash Everybody worship what the tabloids tell

01:43:59.619 --> 01:44:01.800
But they don't see the work, they just buy that

01:44:01.800 --> 01:44:04.220
shell I ain't hatin' on the hustle, I just hate

01:44:04.220 --> 01:44:07.420
the act Built on PR teams and a filtered past

01:44:07.420 --> 01:44:09.979
I ain't tryna be back on that vibe, treasure

01:44:09.979 --> 01:44:29.239
me Old Bramble Hollow, just plaid I came from

01:44:29.239 --> 01:44:31.260
the quiet where the lights don't reach, where

01:44:31.260 --> 01:44:33.180
dreams ain't sponsored, they just bleed each

01:44:33.180 --> 01:44:35.819
week, they float on the room or I float on the

01:44:35.819 --> 01:44:38.189
beat, they Flexin' on the yacht, I'm investin'

01:44:38.210 --> 01:44:40.630
in the team I'd rather live my block than chase

01:44:40.630 --> 01:44:43.210
that fame They'd rather chase a lens than change

01:44:43.210 --> 01:44:46.149
that game If Icon means shallow, then keep that

01:44:46.149 --> 01:44:49.109
tag You can have that mirror, I'll keep my bag

01:44:49.109 --> 01:44:51.689
I ain't tryna be Beckham, that vibe pressure

01:44:51.689 --> 01:44:54.590
me Whole brain for hollow, just blast it to me

01:44:54.590 --> 01:44:57.310
They live for the gossip, I'm past the feed David

01:44:57.310 --> 01:44:59.789
Beckham and his family, that's whack to me I

01:44:59.789 --> 01:45:02.470
ain't tryna be Beckham, that's last to me All

01:45:02.470 --> 01:45:05.770
press, no soul, that's a casualty They pose Sweet

01:45:05.770 --> 01:45:08.229
grind, that's a gap, you see David Beckham and

01:45:08.229 --> 01:45:13.760
his family, that's whack to me David Beckham

01:45:13.760 --> 01:45:17.439
reaches billionaire status. Who cares? You can't

01:45:17.439 --> 01:45:20.199
buy class. Soccer star officially becomes the

01:45:20.199 --> 01:45:23.220
first British pro -athlete to surpass billionaire

01:45:23.220 --> 01:45:26.420
status according to the Sunday Times Rich List,

01:45:26.680 --> 01:45:29.439
which estimates his and wife Victoria Beckham's

01:45:29.439 --> 01:45:34.260
combined net worth at a cool $1 .6 billion. Whatever,

01:45:34.479 --> 01:45:36.140
it doesn't mean you're cool. If anything, it

01:45:36.140 --> 01:45:38.260
means you're a loser. Because you're a part of

01:45:38.260 --> 01:45:41.960
the 1%. And nobody cares. All right. I've been

01:45:41.960 --> 01:45:45.420
renting for how long? Let me see here. Let me

01:45:45.420 --> 01:45:50.359
see. Hour and 30 minutes. Like my boss MJ says,

01:45:50.500 --> 01:45:53.079
an hour and 30 minutes to nonstop MJ. Well, this

01:45:53.079 --> 01:45:54.800
was an hour and 30 minutes to nonstop Hoppy.

01:45:54.979 --> 01:45:57.100
You can tell he's had an influence on me. We'll

01:45:57.100 --> 01:46:14.500
be right back. Hang on. RyanHoppyRadio .com Hoppy

01:46:14.500 --> 01:46:16.779
Hour will be right back. You probably had Taco

01:46:16.779 --> 01:46:20.300
Bell before. Whenever we're going outside, all

01:46:20.300 --> 01:46:27.319
I smell is poop. And we'll call it a day. The

01:46:27.319 --> 01:46:30.220
semen was so big. As a reminder, if you don't

01:46:30.220 --> 01:46:32.539
feel like listening to this next song, you can

01:46:32.539 --> 01:46:35.319
skip over it. But Ryan Hoppy of Hoppy Hour takes

01:46:35.319 --> 01:46:37.760
pride in his selection, so stick around, folks.

01:46:37.920 --> 01:46:42.840
Oh, yeah! Hurry Fresno, copy hour will be right

01:46:42.840 --> 01:46:47.220
back. Now if you're listening on Hot 97 .7, it's

01:46:47.220 --> 01:46:49.420
Monday morning, but this would have made no sense,

01:46:49.439 --> 01:46:52.000
but we recorded on Saturday. It's pre -recorded,

01:46:52.000 --> 01:46:55.680
this just in. So a lot of radio DJs like Mason

01:46:55.680 --> 01:46:59.319
Dixon in Tampa did the Friday, Friday, Friday

01:46:59.319 --> 01:47:01.779
chant. When we celebrate the weekend, as I'm

01:47:01.779 --> 01:47:07.319
sweating, we do every day my weekend. But when

01:47:07.319 --> 01:47:20.210
DJ Hunk does it, it sounds better. Every day,

01:47:20.210 --> 01:47:23.630
every day, every day, every day. Every day my

01:47:23.630 --> 01:47:30.630
weekend. Every day my weekend. Every day my weekend.

01:47:48.350 --> 01:48:05.000
Bitch, I'm the boss, so they think that I'm You

01:48:05.000 --> 01:48:15.220
don't want this kind of beat You don't want this

01:48:15.220 --> 01:48:23.460
kind of beat Versus nigga, you just sweet like

01:48:23.460 --> 01:48:26.000
Hershey's Even in between, your girl fouls me

01:48:26.000 --> 01:48:31.800
So pass it Every day my weekend And I ball And

01:48:31.800 --> 01:48:37.199
I ball every night Every day my weekend We gon'

01:48:37.380 --> 01:49:42.159
ball Bitches jockin' like a motherfucker 13,

01:49:42.380 --> 01:49:44.840
we get pure bottle Poppin' like a motherfucker

01:49:44.840 --> 01:49:47.579
Friday, we get bigger Ayy, you know I fuck with

01:49:47.579 --> 01:49:50.260
bitches Overdosen' on a strong rollin' quarter

01:49:55.560 --> 01:49:57.880
I don't end while you lame niggas look bitch.

01:49:57.960 --> 01:50:01.159
Even on a Sunday, I don't take a day. Y 'all

01:50:01.159 --> 01:50:03.579
was clubbing in that station. And my nigga, you

01:50:03.579 --> 01:50:06.359
ain't alone. You can see the insides. First,

01:50:06.380 --> 01:50:08.520
they take their shirt off. Second, when they

01:50:08.520 --> 01:50:10.840
hear our songs, then they take their skirts off.

01:50:10.979 --> 01:50:13.760
Third, she gonna serve us. Mouse stick her tongue

01:50:13.760 --> 01:50:16.960
out. Four hours later, fuck us all. I was like,

01:50:16.979 --> 01:50:19.760
wow. Y 'all got milk money. Bitch, nigga, I'm

01:50:19.760 --> 01:50:22.579
a cash cow. Every day, my weekend, living life

01:50:22.579 --> 01:50:31.760
on a fast. Don't have every day by me. We'll

01:50:31.760 --> 01:51:19.000
see you next time. Oh, yeah. It's every day of

01:51:19.000 --> 01:51:23.840
my weekend. Let's get back to it. Welcome to.

01:51:38.670 --> 01:52:24.399
DOOR IS CLOSING Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me.

01:52:54.119 --> 01:52:58.960
I came to dance. Y 'all watch some famous dude

01:52:58.960 --> 01:53:24.020
crash. DJ, turn it up. DJ, turn it up. Out here

01:53:24.020 --> 01:53:26.100
making bad moves Top big game, then you chase

01:53:26.100 --> 01:53:28.439
that shot Top big love, then you reach that spot

01:53:28.439 --> 01:53:30.399
If you swing like that when the night gets tough

01:53:30.399 --> 01:54:02.720
You ain't legit, man, you just washed up Back

01:54:02.720 --> 01:54:04.659
at the bar, y 'all slidin' in a row We don't

01:54:04.659 --> 01:54:06.500
chase drama, we just chase glow You're in the

01:54:06.500 --> 01:54:08.899
tabloids, I'm in a strobe You stuck in scandal,

01:54:09.079 --> 01:54:10.840
I'm stuck in mode If you treat girls bad, you

01:54:10.840 --> 01:54:13.220
the punchline now You ain't role model, you just

01:54:13.220 --> 01:54:15.479
foul I'd rather dance with the crew I trusted

01:54:15.479 --> 01:54:17.779
Swing like a star who forgot respect is a must

01:54:59.020 --> 01:55:41.729
Keep keeping it true Oh, yeah. He really is one,

01:55:41.789 --> 01:55:46.810
isn't he? I know somewhere he means well, but

01:55:46.810 --> 01:55:53.689
he is a douche. Douchey, douche, douche. Making

01:55:53.689 --> 01:55:56.890
headlines for a DUI arrest in March, Tiger Woods.

01:55:57.560 --> 01:56:00.279
The pro golfer was spotted yesterday on the tarmac

01:56:00.279 --> 01:56:02.899
after his private plane landed in Palm Beach.

01:56:02.960 --> 01:56:08.000
That's good. You know, I've seen him and like

01:56:08.000 --> 01:56:11.899
he has accountability. Tigers reportedly just

01:56:11.899 --> 01:56:14.220
completed a month long stay at a treatment facility

01:56:14.220 --> 01:56:17.140
in Switzerland. Oh yeah, I know he's banging

01:56:17.140 --> 01:56:19.880
out the snow buddies over there. His next court

01:56:19.880 --> 01:56:22.520
date is July 7th, although he does not have to

01:56:22.520 --> 01:56:25.699
attend in person. All right, Daniel, it's time.

01:56:27.279 --> 01:56:56.420
For Kardashian News. Hoppy's on the mic, call

01:56:56.420 --> 01:56:59.420
it verbal demolition Exposing fake lives, media's

01:56:59.420 --> 01:57:02.159
worst addiction Idiocracy crowned, it's the brain

01:57:02.159 --> 01:57:04.779
on snooze Clickbait queens, welcome to Kardashian

01:57:04.779 --> 01:57:08.180
News Kardashian News Where the truth gets aired,

01:57:08.300 --> 01:57:10.399
Hoppy breaking down the hype Y 'all beware, fake

01:57:10.399 --> 01:57:13.020
smiles, fake lives Fake lives, fake drama, they

01:57:13.020 --> 01:57:16.039
choose No talent required, it's Kardashian News

01:57:16.039 --> 01:57:19.220
Kardashian News Where the truth gets aired, Hoppy

01:57:19.220 --> 01:57:21.439
breaking down the hype Y 'all beware, fake smiles,

01:57:21.560 --> 01:57:24.829
fake lives Fake drama, they choose. No talent

01:57:24.829 --> 01:57:27.949
required, it's Kardashian news. Diamond studded

01:57:27.949 --> 01:57:30.569
lies, selling dreams to the broke. Gold -plated

01:57:30.569 --> 01:57:33.449
nothing, society inside joke. Poppy ain't scared,

01:57:33.630 --> 01:57:35.329
man, he roastin' them ropes. They like it rough.

01:57:35.369 --> 01:57:38.250
Boobies sexin' like they rewrote the law. Surgical

01:57:38.250 --> 01:57:41.430
precision. Every word's a slice. Hypocrisy exposed

01:57:41.430 --> 01:57:44.569
under studio lights. Instagram filters, they

01:57:44.569 --> 01:57:46.989
mask the truth. Poppy's here to school them.

01:57:47.029 --> 01:57:51.720
Welcome to the booth. No chain. Speaking what

01:57:51.720 --> 01:57:54.880
he feels. Never playing the game. No Kardashian

01:57:54.880 --> 01:57:58.779
can spin his name. On this mic he reigns. Untamed.

01:57:59.199 --> 01:58:02.119
Kardashian. Got it. Get scared. I'll be breaking

01:58:02.119 --> 01:58:04.439
down the hype. Y 'all beware. Fake smile. Fake

01:58:04.439 --> 01:58:07.039
lies. Fake lies. Fake drama. They choose. No

01:58:07.039 --> 01:58:10.079
talent required. It's Kardashian news. Kardashian

01:58:10.079 --> 01:58:14.000
news. Tone it up. It's Hoppy Amazon. Hoppy speaks

01:58:14.000 --> 01:58:18.220
what's on his mind. All right. I know. No. Hoppy

01:58:18.220 --> 01:58:20.659
Hot Topic. All right. Yeah, I see what's going

01:58:20.659 --> 01:58:22.960
on with this woman. Which pregnancy was easier?

01:58:23.359 --> 01:58:27.119
Maybe this one. That was a breeze. But my son,

01:58:27.279 --> 01:58:29.779
my last pregnancy, it like really took me out.

01:58:29.960 --> 01:58:33.380
Kylie Jenner is reflecting on her journey to

01:58:33.380 --> 01:58:36.960
becoming a mom. Oh, yeah. She's the youngest

01:58:36.960 --> 01:58:41.560
male. Episode of Jake Shane's Therapist Podcast.

01:58:42.100 --> 01:58:44.560
The Kylie Cosmetics founder opened. I'm glad

01:58:44.560 --> 01:58:48.329
some Gen Z is trying to be a shrink. I'm like,

01:58:48.369 --> 01:58:50.710
yeah, I'm the authority on women, even though

01:58:50.710 --> 01:58:53.810
I'm gay. About the vastly different experiences

01:58:53.810 --> 01:58:58.250
of her first and second pregnancies. Recalling

01:58:58.250 --> 01:59:00.670
the moment she found out she was pregnant at

01:59:00.670 --> 01:59:04.050
19 with her daughter Stormy, Kylie admitted she

01:59:04.050 --> 01:59:06.649
initially feared. See, what's weird is I forgot

01:59:06.649 --> 01:59:08.689
that she got pregnant that young. Telling her

01:59:08.689 --> 01:59:13.909
parents the news. I was freaking out. Trust me,

01:59:14.010 --> 01:59:17.720
you're always fine. I was freaking out. The name

01:59:17.720 --> 01:59:20.800
of this podcast is Therapus with Jake Shane.

01:59:20.960 --> 01:59:25.079
Surprise or not, Theradick. I was really scared

01:59:25.079 --> 01:59:27.520
to tell my parents. Whatever, honey. It all worked

01:59:27.520 --> 01:59:29.899
out. Because you're a billionaire. All right.

01:59:29.960 --> 01:59:31.880
If you're listening in Fresno, we got 30 seconds

01:59:31.880 --> 01:59:34.920
left. I love you. There's going to be an atomic

01:59:34.920 --> 01:59:39.619
bomb. It's going to take us out. And that taking

01:59:39.619 --> 01:59:43.180
us out is the podcast ending. Love for Fresno.

01:59:45.579 --> 01:59:59.920
Oh, no. Oh, Lord. Oh, no. Watch out. Talk to

01:59:59.920 --> 02:00:03.859
you later, Fresno. If you survive. Don't worry,

02:00:03.979 --> 02:00:07.079
Fresno. Copy hour will be right back. Oh, yeah.

02:00:07.439 --> 02:00:09.340
If you're still listening, you're listening in

02:00:09.340 --> 02:00:11.699
the podcast. It's time for the new song called

02:00:11.699 --> 02:00:25.350
Stephen Colbert is a douchebag. He got the suit,

02:00:25.430 --> 02:00:27.710
got that grin, still the joke don't land, man

02:00:27.710 --> 02:00:32.109
Talk real big on the screen, but the crowd don't

02:00:32.109 --> 02:00:36.409
clap back Every night, same old bitch, same fake

02:00:36.409 --> 02:00:40.550
smile, same stale script Kept talking like he's

02:00:40.550 --> 02:00:44.659
profound, but the room stayed half -lit And the

02:00:44.659 --> 02:00:49.880
phone stay off When he starts to talk No spark,

02:00:50.060 --> 02:00:56.479
no bite Just a long, hard walk Off the air, off

02:00:56.479 --> 02:01:00.859
the air Who's still watching there? Off the air,

02:01:01.039 --> 02:01:05.520
off the air Ain't much left to spare Off the

02:01:05.520 --> 02:01:09.439
air, off the air Save the room, save the chair

02:01:09.439 --> 02:01:25.609
Off the air, off the air Yeah, who cares? Work

02:01:25.609 --> 02:01:28.789
dreams, little payoff Running jokes like they

02:01:28.789 --> 02:01:32.390
never take off Money burning through the floor

02:01:32.390 --> 02:01:35.930
Not a board, one answers more Used to crowd the

02:01:35.930 --> 02:01:38.949
whole front row Now it's not, we know Same old

02:01:38.949 --> 02:01:43.130
life, same old face But the sparkle left the

02:01:43.130 --> 02:01:48.369
place And the bones stay off When he starts to

02:01:48.369 --> 02:01:53.789
talk No spark, no bite Just a long, hard walk

02:02:02.029 --> 02:02:06.170
Off the air, ain't much left to spare Off the

02:02:06.170 --> 02:02:10.090
air, off the air Save the room, save the chair

02:02:10.090 --> 02:02:14.890
Off the air, off the air Yeah, who cares? Who

02:02:14.890 --> 02:02:20.930
cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares?

02:02:21.109 --> 02:02:28.569
Who cares? New day, new frame, same old game

02:02:28.569 --> 02:02:31.310
If the punch don't hit, don't call it fame Let

02:02:31.310 --> 02:02:34.220
it fade Let it roll. Let the credits go. One

02:02:34.220 --> 02:02:37.460
last bow. One last grin. Then it's out the door

02:02:37.460 --> 02:02:42.079
again. Off the air. Off the air. Who's still

02:02:42.079 --> 02:02:47.000
watching there? Off the air. Off the air. Ain't

02:02:47.000 --> 02:02:50.699
much left to spare. Off the air. Off the air.

02:02:51.000 --> 02:02:55.220
Save the room. Save the chat. Off the air. Off

02:02:55.220 --> 02:02:58.939
the air. Yeah, who cares? Who cares? Who cares?

02:02:59.079 --> 02:03:04.250
Right now. Oops, wrong button. 856 -49 -HOPPY.

02:03:04.270 --> 02:03:11.970
Let's talk about Colbert. Watch the wind. Oh,

02:03:12.689 --> 02:03:15.449
it's Stephen Colbert and Letterman on the roof

02:03:15.449 --> 02:03:18.590
throwing a chair. Haha, get it? They're getting

02:03:18.590 --> 02:03:20.869
rid of the furniture from the set. So funny.

02:03:21.210 --> 02:03:30.590
Here we go. Yes! So edgy! Wow! Throwing furniture!

02:03:30.619 --> 02:03:35.100
Punisher down. Shut up, let him in. Go bang it

02:03:35.100 --> 02:03:41.239
in turn. One, two, three. There goes an office

02:03:41.239 --> 02:03:47.479
chair. Next should be Colbert. I'm kidding. Yeah.

02:03:47.699 --> 02:03:52.460
The Late Show, 1993 to 2026. It's a cake. So

02:03:52.460 --> 02:03:55.920
how many years is that? No way of knowing. He's

02:03:55.920 --> 02:03:59.659
so funny, Colbert. How does it feel? There you're

02:03:59.659 --> 02:04:01.899
going up there because you costed them 20 million.

02:04:02.739 --> 02:04:05.460
And you have to have all your liberal friends

02:04:05.460 --> 02:04:13.220
make you feel better about being a failure. I'm

02:04:13.220 --> 02:04:16.899
Letterman. God, he's unlikable. Colbert and David

02:04:16.899 --> 02:04:19.640
Letterman saying goodbye to the late show by

02:04:19.640 --> 02:04:23.310
destroying it. It's so funny. People say, oh,

02:04:23.350 --> 02:04:24.810
what are you going to do next? Please, just let

02:04:24.810 --> 02:04:26.550
me just get the plane on the ground first. Yeah,

02:04:26.609 --> 02:04:28.310
get out of here. We don't really miss you anymore.

02:04:29.130 --> 02:04:31.710
The two late night hosts taking to the roof of

02:04:31.710 --> 02:04:33.710
New York City's Ed Sullivan Theater, tossing

02:04:33.710 --> 02:04:37.630
chairs, melons, and pieces of the set. So stupid.

02:04:37.729 --> 02:04:41.529
How is this funny? I want to find it funny. There's

02:04:41.529 --> 02:04:44.750
a lot of liberals find it funny, but it ain't

02:04:44.750 --> 02:04:50.510
funny. Straight onto the CBS logo below. Yes!

02:04:50.949 --> 02:04:53.859
So there's that. And then here they are talking

02:04:53.859 --> 02:04:58.640
like a bunch of cackling morons. All right, here

02:04:58.640 --> 02:05:01.220
we go right here. Backstage, a guy comes over

02:05:01.220 --> 02:05:04.079
and he says he's from CBS and then he fired me.

02:05:05.279 --> 02:05:08.600
Yeah, you guys all are costing the company money.

02:05:09.279 --> 02:05:13.579
This ain't 1989 where late night TV is a game

02:05:13.579 --> 02:05:16.960
changer. I'm sorry. He caught us straight. What

02:05:16.960 --> 02:05:21.319
is going on over there? I will say, and I have

02:05:21.319 --> 02:05:23.380
every right to be pissed off, so I'll just...

02:05:23.380 --> 02:05:26.340
No, you don't! He was costing the company money!

02:05:27.119 --> 02:05:30.159
Now, if he was making them hundreds of millions

02:05:30.159 --> 02:05:34.029
of dollars... But it was costing them money.

02:05:34.970 --> 02:05:37.810
I'll be pissed off here a little bit. Because

02:05:37.810 --> 02:05:40.609
this theater, you folks wouldn't be in this theater

02:05:40.609 --> 02:05:44.350
if it weren't for me. A total narcissist. In

02:05:44.350 --> 02:05:47.649
this theater, I cheated on my wife. Because I'm

02:05:47.649 --> 02:05:51.729
a scumbag. Shut up, Lennon. Steven wouldn't be

02:05:51.729 --> 02:05:54.430
here if it weren't for me. And my next guy, if

02:05:54.430 --> 02:05:58.409
it wasn't for you, dude, no one other than the

02:05:58.409 --> 02:06:02.060
age of 59 knows who you are, brah. And we rebuilt

02:06:02.060 --> 02:06:05.399
this theater and then Stephen came in and look

02:06:05.399 --> 02:06:08.520
at this. It's like the Bellagio. Okay, but it

02:06:08.520 --> 02:06:12.380
was costing the company money. He had a hundred

02:06:12.380 --> 02:06:15.380
people working for him for late night jokes about

02:06:15.380 --> 02:06:19.039
Trump that weren't funny. He was costing them

02:06:19.039 --> 02:06:28.760
money. But listen, I don't want to listen. You're

02:06:28.760 --> 02:06:31.920
annoying. You got all your psycho fan people

02:06:31.920 --> 02:06:36.779
in the crowd kissing his ass. Shut up. Nothing's

02:06:36.779 --> 02:06:40.100
wrong, Dave. As we all understand, you can take

02:06:40.100 --> 02:06:43.100
a man's show. You can't take a man's voice. All

02:06:43.100 --> 02:06:47.180
right, well, he'll do a podcast. You can't take

02:06:47.180 --> 02:06:51.000
a man's voice. Man, is he annoying. Shut up.

02:06:51.920 --> 02:06:55.100
I'm David Letterman. I think I better. You're

02:06:55.100 --> 02:06:58.520
nothing, dude. Cheated on your wife when it entered.

02:06:58.819 --> 02:07:01.140
And every boomer kisses your ass because they

02:07:01.140 --> 02:07:03.119
missed the 80s and 90s when the world was cool.

02:07:05.239 --> 02:07:24.039
Typical boomers. Living in the past. RyanHoppyRadio

02:07:24.039 --> 02:07:26.680
.com Hoppy Hour will be right back. You probably

02:07:26.680 --> 02:07:29.979
had Taco Bell before. Whenever we're going outside,

02:07:30.300 --> 02:07:35.899
all I smell is poop. And we'll call it a day.

02:07:37.199 --> 02:07:40.560
The semen was so big. As a reminder, if you don't

02:07:40.560 --> 02:07:42.899
feel like listening to this next song, you can

02:07:42.899 --> 02:07:45.680
skip over it. But Ryan Hoppy of Hoppy Hour takes

02:07:45.680 --> 02:07:48.100
pride in his selection, so stick around, folks.

02:07:48.539 --> 02:08:08.560
And that is that. RyanHoppyRadio .com I'll be

02:08:08.560 --> 02:08:11.500
right back. You probably had Taco Bell before.

02:08:11.899 --> 02:08:16.279
Whenever we're going outside, all I smell is

02:08:16.279 --> 02:08:22.039
poop. And we'll call it a day. The seaman was

02:08:22.039 --> 02:08:24.600
so big. As a reminder, if you don't feel like

02:08:24.600 --> 02:08:27.039
listening to this next song, you can skip over

02:08:27.039 --> 02:08:29.720
it. But Ryan Hoppy of Hoppy Hour takes pride

02:08:29.720 --> 02:13:12.149
in his selection, so stick around, folks. Live

02:13:12.149 --> 02:13:14.149
reads or sponsors. I'm like, who's listening

02:13:14.149 --> 02:13:19.430
to that? If I were that sponsor, I'd be pissed

02:13:19.430 --> 02:13:26.449
off. But what do I know? A lot. This following

02:13:26.449 --> 02:13:31.069
segment has been brought to you by Cheeky Mouth

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Cards at GetCheeky .com. When I tell you it's

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02:15:22.859 --> 02:15:26.680
spell radio. Or it's in my podcast section. So

02:15:26.680 --> 02:15:28.680
whenever you listen to Hoppy Hour like you are

02:15:28.680 --> 02:15:45.350
right now in the podcast description. But you

02:15:45.350 --> 02:15:47.750
can hear The Hammerin' Hank Show with Henry Oaks

02:15:47.750 --> 02:15:51.109
and Ryan Hoffman on Spotify by searching up Hammerin',

02:15:51.109 --> 02:15:54.590
H -A -M -M -E -R -I -N, Hank Show. And check

02:15:54.590 --> 02:15:57.750
it out on his podcast feed. People with autism

02:15:57.750 --> 02:16:00.609
are often treated like they are different. Believe

02:16:00.609 --> 02:16:04.189
me, we are. Hi, this is Henry Oaks, but my buddies

02:16:04.189 --> 02:16:07.369
may have known me as Hammerin' Hank. I was labeled

02:16:07.369 --> 02:16:10.350
as slow when I started school. Come to find out

02:16:10.350 --> 02:16:13.250
at age 12, the doctors decided I was autistic.

02:16:13.920 --> 02:16:16.779
Now at the age of 48, I have completed an associate's

02:16:16.779 --> 02:16:19.079
degree in radio broadcasting and worked in the

02:16:19.079 --> 02:16:21.720
San Francisco Bay Area as an on -air personality.

02:16:22.000 --> 02:16:25.000
So yes, I am different. People with autism have

02:16:25.000 --> 02:16:28.579
no needs no different than you. Laugh, laugh,

02:16:28.800 --> 02:16:32.260
love, and learn to gain education and join the

02:16:32.260 --> 02:16:35.879
workforce. I did it, and so can anyone else with

02:16:35.879 --> 02:16:39.120
autism. So when you meet someone with autism,

02:16:39.280 --> 02:16:45.950
don't feel sorry for them. Work with them. a

02:16:45.950 --> 02:16:49.190
condition. To find out more about autism, please

02:16:49.190 --> 02:16:53.209
visit Autism Speaks .org. Autism Speaks. It's

02:16:53.209 --> 02:17:24.360
time to listen. Hoping and praying that one day

02:17:24.360 --> 02:17:28.239
I'm gonna make it No matter what, I keep coming

02:17:28.239 --> 02:17:32.920
strong I got my eyes on the prize and I'm gonna

02:17:32.920 --> 02:17:39.579
take it I'm never realizing what it's all to

02:17:39.579 --> 02:17:44.959
be Today, I'm gonna say The lights are on, so

02:17:44.959 --> 02:18:31.370
let's get it started, started You say you feel

02:18:31.370 --> 02:18:36.129
how I put it down But I cannot make it through

02:18:36.129 --> 02:18:40.510
this without you Together we keep breaking the

02:18:40.510 --> 02:18:45.290
ground I'm gonna do it because you told me how

02:18:45.290 --> 02:18:51.229
to make it I never realized it before It's hard

02:18:51.229 --> 02:21:12.750
for me to say I wanna say it Fortify .com. F

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want to get pumped up for the gym, go to fortify

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02:21:37.370 --> 02:21:50.829
self -defense classes, skate classes, and Posters,

02:21:50.829 --> 02:21:52.790
yard signs, whatever the hell it is, spread it

02:21:52.790 --> 02:21:57.450
out. I go, I go. Finally. I mentally all like

02:21:57.450 --> 02:22:01.090
me. Mm -hmm. If you live in Florida or Maryland,

02:22:01.229 --> 02:22:09.389
go to counselingoncall .net. I'm there. Hi, we're

02:22:09.389 --> 02:22:10.870
going to come back and I'll be out and keep this

02:22:10.870 --> 02:22:14.129
party going. Hello again. It's your favorite

02:22:14.129 --> 02:22:18.610
San Francisco DJ, eh? I may look normal, but

02:22:18.610 --> 02:22:20.790
the truth is, I have a condition known as autism.

02:22:21.329 --> 02:22:23.989
That's right, it's a condition, not a disease.

02:22:24.250 --> 02:22:27.530
That is, autism can strike anyone, regardless

02:22:27.530 --> 02:22:30.149
of who they are. People with autism normally

02:22:30.149 --> 02:22:32.649
have difficulties in verbal and non -verbal communication

02:22:32.649 --> 02:22:36.170
skills, social interactions, and leisure activities.

02:22:36.469 --> 02:22:49.139
In a recent study, education. I have even worked

02:22:49.139 --> 02:23:53.790
in the San Francisco Bay Area. Outro Music You

02:23:53.790 --> 02:23:56.569
hear a lot of me venting to my friends and having

02:23:56.569 --> 02:24:01.389
panic attacks. I'm not that interesting. And

02:24:01.389 --> 02:24:03.329
if you think I'm interesting because of my radio

02:24:03.329 --> 02:24:08.639
show, you're a clout chaser. That was very strange.

02:24:09.659 --> 02:24:14.360
It's been funny. So on social media, with the

02:24:14.360 --> 02:24:17.239
algorithms, they're not allowed to say shoot.

02:24:18.520 --> 02:24:21.600
Like, oh, this person was shot or shoot. So if

02:24:21.600 --> 02:24:25.180
it's a caption like, there was a shooting in

02:24:25.180 --> 02:24:27.620
Atlanta outside of a nightclub, it looks like

02:24:27.620 --> 02:24:34.280
there was a shitting. It's absolutely hilarious.

02:24:34.540 --> 02:24:36.899
So every time I see it, I just thought, who's

02:24:36.899 --> 02:24:40.680
shitting it? What are you doing? Make it to the

02:24:40.680 --> 02:24:44.239
toilet. I'm like, oh, shooting. That algorithm

02:24:44.239 --> 02:24:47.979
thing where there's the asterisk is so stupid.

02:24:48.219 --> 02:24:52.000
What are you doing? Is the algorithm that pussified?

02:24:53.860 --> 02:24:57.819
That we can't have the word murder or shooting

02:24:57.819 --> 02:25:01.899
without triggering people? You're a bunch of

02:25:02.359 --> 02:25:05.079
Bitches! Gotta be careful not to lose my voice

02:25:05.079 --> 02:25:07.219
today. Because sometimes I'll be doing my theatrical

02:25:07.219 --> 02:25:10.760
voice like this! And the next day I'm like...

02:25:10.760 --> 02:25:16.540
By the way, we have a new listener. That's a

02:25:16.540 --> 02:25:19.200
part of Hoppy's Homies. Remember when I tried

02:25:19.200 --> 02:25:22.139
to make merchandise? I don't know, 11 years ago.

02:25:22.379 --> 02:25:25.440
I was trying to be like Bubba the Sponge with

02:25:25.440 --> 02:25:30.540
his Bubba Army. And this guy named Ryan Redbeard

02:25:30.540 --> 02:25:34.799
on Twitter came up with Hoppies Homies. Never

02:25:34.799 --> 02:25:39.120
quite took off, but it was a good try. Well,

02:25:39.319 --> 02:25:44.299
we have a new Hoppies Homies. Her name is Callie.

02:25:45.500 --> 02:25:48.940
She's very pretty. She goes to the Cava House

02:25:48.940 --> 02:25:53.889
on 4th Street that I go to. And remember, she's

02:25:53.889 --> 02:25:56.649
like one of those kind of off the grid, isn't

02:25:56.649 --> 02:25:58.930
on social media much, might have a social media

02:25:58.930 --> 02:26:00.809
account, but no one knows. Just very off the

02:26:00.809 --> 02:26:03.829
grid. She's like, what do you do for a living?

02:26:03.969 --> 02:26:05.389
And I'm like, oh, I work with the MJ Morning

02:26:05.389 --> 02:26:07.229
Show. I work at Beasley Media Group. I have a

02:26:07.229 --> 02:26:09.889
podcast. And she's never listened to a podcast

02:26:09.889 --> 02:26:14.149
before besides seeing, you know, clips on YouTube.

02:26:15.549 --> 02:26:19.329
So she's like, hey, I helped her download Spotify.

02:26:19.450 --> 02:26:22.930
I had her subscribe to it. And you know what

02:26:22.930 --> 02:26:26.649
happened? I was the very first podcast she ever

02:26:26.649 --> 02:26:30.610
listened to. Think about that. You got the murder

02:26:30.610 --> 02:26:32.190
podcast. Yes.