And I remember I was crying in there. I can't do it by myself and so I went from a very Highly paid technology job to I'm crawling under somebody's house installing a wood stove When we think about scar scar wanted something big. He wanted something huge. He wanted to be king. What's the difference between?

Simba Remembering who he was and believing in himself and scar Doing much the same thing with vastly different purposes and outcomes But if I was to look at the way that Simba shows up and the way that Mufasa showed up Ultimately, it's through the lens of love and if I was to look at the way that scar showed up It's through the lens of fear through power and through manipulation but what got planted my mind is I can't do it by myself and Anytime a big decision showed up for me. I Felt the need to ask somebody else to get To the point where I felt paralyzed in making the big decisions Just get to know yourself get curious about who you are right now Get curious about what you like what you don't like and write it down Hey, this is me Love it take it or leave it Welcome to Yes And Land where we say yes to the reality of yesterday and today and we say and to the possibility growth and imagination of tomorrow Welcome everybody to another episode of Yes And Land. We are very excited for our guests today Jeremy Cameron is here with us. He is a coach He has experience in the tech world for many many years and has taken some Amazing experiences that he's had in life things that he's learned and he's spinning that into really helping People step into their own. He's helping people get coached through things where they're a little bit stuck Maybe needing a breakthrough and he's doing some really amazing things and in helping people find That something more that's something that they're missing It's a really excited where the conversation is gonna take us today today.

We're gonna be talking about self-trust, right? Perhaps a little about intuition trusting your gut maybe And we're gonna do that through the lens of a wonderful Disney movie that many many people know at least my generation our generation Right the Lion King. We were growing up. I mean Lion King was huge And that was in the early 90s. It was like peak Disney movie time right the the the golden generation of Disney movies It'd be really great for us to take a look at that to the lens of Lion King today.

So very excited. Welcome Jeremy Thank you so much for having me Ryan. I'm so excited to be here. It should be good time. Absolutely So let's talk a little bit about your background reference it briefly, but let's talk about kind of kind of where you started from Did you?

When you when you finish high school, did you do some college? Did you what did you do to end up getting into the tech world? Absolutely So I graduated in 1995 I went to a year of college and I got to college and the dot-com boom was just starting to take off And I was realizing I was like, you know I love technology and I was actually teaching technology when I was in high school and I was like I can learn I can go pay a whole bunch of money to learn technology I can have somebody pay me to learn it and so I left College after a year and Founded my own company learned a ton from founding that company for sure and then continued to work in tech throughout the dot-com era Obviously, we know how that all ended immediately after that I wound up installing wood stoves because That's what happened after the tech Bubble burst you had all these very qualified technology professionals taking whatever they could and so I went from a very Highly paid technology job to I'm crawling under somebody's house installing a wood stove and From there continued back to the tech field once the economy stabilized. Yeah grew and grew and grew a little bit And then I stepped in from individual contributor stepped into leadership roles Began building teams began leading and managing teams. I was a live nation for a bit and My core client was House of Blues and so we ended up building the marketing presence for House of Blues Amazing and then from there stepped into I went from managing three teams of 12 and massive leap to managing 25 teams and over 300 people and Quickly realized in that moment.

Yeah, and a team of 12. I can bring in my heroic efforts Sure, and my heroic efforts can save the day but when I'm dealing with 25 people working on a multi-hundred million dollar project my heroic efforts aren't even gonna move the needle and so it moved from I Can lead these people directly to I'm going to put people in the best opportunities for them to win I'm going to hold them accountable But I'm also gonna give them all the support they need to be successful They need to be the ones they were gonna be off in a minute. You couldn't do it all I know I'm doing my on your Efforts it was physically impossible like unless I figured out the 148 hour day and even still why would I want to do that? Yeah for sure So so take me back then so I think I think journeys like this are always interesting so What where did you dig down? to trust yourself enough to leave college Mm-hmm and start your own business because I mean was it naivete like we all know that like most businesses that start fail It's a really really high percentage of businesses that start fail Where did you dig down from to have the courage and the trust to do that?

So you're absolutely right it was a gut feeling it was just a feeling of I believe in myself I think I can do this For my for my experience my definition of failure is did you learn something? And so it's not a matter of is your business still running or not But did you learn something and so I haven't had a failed business even though I have several businesses that aren't running anymore I've learned from each one of them sure and so In that business I learned What it took to run a business I had no idea before then and So it was powerful for me to be able to step in and go I got this I can do this All right, I learned from that. I'm gonna go lick my wounds a little bit. I'm gonna go work for somebody else I'm gonna go rebuild I'm gonna go start again, and I'm not starting from nothing I'm starting from the experience I gained the first time yeah, and then go run that business learn some more Go work for somebody else for a while and Did you did you have somebody though during that time that was Mentoring you to do that because I think for a lot of people that's a really hard thing to do we we hear it mm-hmm Hey, yeah, there's no failures. They're there lessons that we learned we hear that all the time right and I believe in that principle But to actually do it is not that easy right because when you're experiencing that like you don't start a business Wanting for it to go out of business.

You don't start a business wanting it to fail or to have that hard lesson And so when someone's thinking about it for their life like what was it a mentor? What was it that helps you have that courage to say even if it goes out of business? I'm gonna learn a lesson So my parents were both entrepreneurs. Okay, that helps that helps right? Yes So my parents owned an auto repair shop for 40 years and they ran it together and I got to see the good times I got to see the hard times and so just being around the entrepreneurial Spirit I just grew up in that I didn't have a mentor per se but I Was always just of the opinion of I can figure this out and that's just been my worldview since I started What out of curiosity what was your major going to be before you dropped out of school?

I was still deciding. Okay, so I was still very much in the decision process I knew I loved technology. My dad wanted me to go study religious So we were still having that conversation. Okay Was I was curious as to whether or not you were looking at something like engineering, right? When I hear like I knew I was just gonna figure it out That is like very much like an engineer brain like I'm gonna figure this out right?

Like this is a problem I'm gonna break it down. I'm gonna see what the parts are and I'm gonna go figure this out And in that kind of mentality whether or not it's an engineer that kind of mentality really does I think help when it comes to entrepreneurship Yeah, and some of the most successful engineers I've known engineering brains are also creative and so combine the fact that I love to figure things out with the fact that I'm a musician and As a musician you're starting with an idea Yeah, and okay, what would it take in order to turn this idea into what I'm feeling? Yeah, and so being able to bring the best of both worlds together has been really fun So tell me this too because one of the things that I heard you say is that after kind of the dot-com bubble burst That you went to in installing stoves. Yes So Where did you have to go? Where did you have to find within yourself to say like I'm gonna be humble enough just to take this job installing stoves Right because I think when I see certain people who lose a job or lose an opportunity It's like they'll just stay unemployed always just waiting around for what the perfect next gig is And I I just I just don't like that mentality right, right?

Where was it for you? Like I'm just gonna install stoves, right? It came down to I need to pay my bills. Yeah, and just Having that pragmatic approach and looking at it and going this may not be my dream job, but this is the job that's here And I'm gonna take it. I'm gonna go do my best.

I actually wasn't very good at installing stoves, but I did my best Yeah, and I did it for as long as I could Until the next opportunity opened up for me. Yeah, you know, I I do think that there is real value in that and just doing something sometimes because you need to and Remember during during law school between my first and second year of law school There wasn't a lot of internships available at that time This was back in 2007 mm-hmm where the economy is really starting to go downwards, right? It was not trending in the right direction. So I didn't have a gig. I Had an old missionary companion that that lived here in Utah.

I went to law school in Baylor so I came back here to Utah that for the summer and he and I His I think it was his uncle owned a flooring company and he and I delivered flooring all summer Yeah And we would pack the flooring on our shoulders and I would have to like wear extra padding because I just wasn't used to manual labor But we did it Day after day and it was just what we needed to do because I needed to have some income in the summer But but I just I always think there's two like you said there's lessons in the things that you do, right? What it taught me is just showing up right showing up and just doing your best like sometimes it's gonna hurt Sometimes it's gonna be hard. Sometimes you're gonna end up with those calluses from the things that you're doing Literally or figuratively but just keep showing up and keep doing it. Mm-hmm What do you think the lessons are that you learned from your experience doing the stoves that helped you as an entrepreneur? So I think one of the lessons that I learned is Show up and do your best.

So one of my favorite books is the four agreements the four agreements Yes, who's that by Don Miguel Ruiz? Okay, we're gonna put that link in the show notes and It's a very quick read. It's a very simple read. I Recommend it for all my clients and I actually just had one of my clients who's in her 60s come back to me and go Read the book. I realized what a game-changer.

This is she's like I've been living my life totally Blaming other people and she's like I'm ready to take control of my life. I was like, yes good you go girl Yeah, and what was so fun? So the four agreements always do your best be impeccable with your word never make assumptions and Oh Shoot what's the fourth one? I always I always remember three out of four. Yeah So there's four of them always do your best be impeccable with your word never make assumptions don't take anything personally and I've been I read that book in 2013 I've been working on mastering those principles since then I'm still not there sure But I've come a long way.

Yeah, and so if I was to tie that in always do my best as An entrepreneur we're always doing our best. Yeah, so there's days where I show up and I'm just Ready to go. I am so excited. I'm lit up. I am Passionate about it.

Yeah, and there's days where I show up and it's like, oh boy. Let's go I got this I think I think I know let's go and Some days my sixty percent if I give sixty percent out of sixty, that's my best sure Some days if I show up and I give I was actually talking to a client of mine. He's a former He's a former officer in the army commanded forty thousand people in multiple tours and He was having a conversation with Lloyd Austin who was one of He was the secretary one of the secretaries at the time. I think it was secretary of the army and Lloyd Austin came in and he's like I want you guys to give a hundred and ten percent every day and he looks at Lloyd Austin who's Secretary of the army at the time and he goes sir. I Would love to do that for you, but I can't he's like I will give you a hundred and ten percent today And I will give you ninety percent tomorrow because that's what I have And so he's he's looks at him and then Lloyd Austin's aid pulls him aside and just rips him a new one and Then Lloyd Austin comes up to him afterwards and says I hear you.

You're absolutely right. Thank you for saying that And so there's days where we give a hundred and ten percent and we need to realize Hey, I got 90% today to give if I try to push beyond that I'm abandoning myself I'm depleting myself. It's not sustainable. Yeah, and so it's being present with where am I at today? How can I show up fully as my best self today?

Hey one more thing before we move on there's a show I've gotten really into lately called the wisdom of Walt and I don't usually do this But it's earned it if our show is your kind of thing, I'll bet you'll enjoy that one too. So go give it a listen So I have the question with that because this is something that I always think about when these types of things come up Because I agree with that right? I agree with the principle that like we're not gonna always have our maximum to give every single day And and by the same token, I think there's also times though Where we can fall into the trap of using that as an excuse to not do our best that day So if we have 60% that day we then use that as an excuse to give 30 Mm-hmm, so we don't actually give a hundred percent of what we do have to give. How do you coach people to? Recognize what they actually have to give and then to give the full amount that they have to give rather than use it as an excuse To give virtually nothing.

Absolutely. So the first step is check in with yourself Where am I at today? Be present So where am I at right now and be honest about it? so for me the first step is check in the second step is be an integrity with yourself and Integrity is a fascinating word for me. I've done a word study on it.

So integrity comes from the word integer integer means whole and So if I have 60% the whole amount for me to give is 60% If I'm giving less than that, I'm not an integrity And so integrity is when my actions my words my energy align. I have a friend Who took a concept that I had and simplified it even more which is and we talked about it yesterday on our podcast, which is word actions over words energy over both and When all three are aligned, I'm in integrity and when I'm in integrity When who I am is an integrity then what I do matches who I am it was fun because we actually filmed an episode yesterday called who are you when no one's watching and in those moments Nobody might be watching But it matters to you because you're building That state of I trust myself. I'm gonna show up for myself I'm showing up because this matters to me I'm showing up because this is who I am and I'm showing up because I Want my life and I want everything in my life to reflect who I am right now. Yeah. Yeah, I love it so I Love we're going with this Let's let's bring in the the movie lens.

Yeah, bring in some liking. Okay so when I was when I was thinking through kind of this overall topic in the way that I Kind of saw some things with Lion King the Lion King one of things I want to ask you about was When we look at kind of the arc of the Lion King One of the things I think we see at the beginning but I think it's just a really interesting Something interesting I think we all experience to some degree when we're young and maybe naive Which is when Simba sings I just can't wait to be king Right because like okay, he he doesn't know much about life. He doesn't really know much about what it means to be a king But he still has that sense of wonder. Mm-hmm and a belief that like yeah, I'm gonna be king. Can't wait Can't wait for this.

I'm so excited for this thing to happen. And So, you know where where where does that? Suddenly get lost for us. Uh-huh Why do we why do we lose that sense of wonder and possibility of what we could do and we stop trusting ourselves? Yeah, and you think about so many kids say they're three four five six years old They dream They have imagination.

They make believe That was one of the reasons I got into improv comedy is I was like, oh my gosh, I loved that phase of my life I'm gonna go do that again as an adult and In those moments we're born with that desire to dream that desire For anything to be possible. So Simba singing I just can't wait to be king is no different than Johnny being like I can't wait to be an astronaut or I don't know what your thing was But like I had so many different things from an astronaut to a cowboy to working with my dad You name it I probably dreamed it but then what happens is We start getting around people and we start getting into schools or friend groups and we start hearing what's acceptable What's expected? What our obligations are and we start? Choosing to fit in instead of belonging and When I fit in it's like taking That square peg and trying to put it into the round hole Hey, you might be a square peg that like that might be your authentic self, but all we have is this round hole So you're gonna have to shrink yourself in order to fit in this hole That's what normalization is. Yeah, and how often do people Whether it's The way you're showing up right now is not acceptable.

It's not good enough. You're too much You need to tone it down. Hey, stop acting out. Hey, stop crying. Hey You're you're being ridiculous and we wind up By doing that teaching people that it's not safe to be who they truly are And so people start putting on masks and they start Figuring out what would be acceptable what parts of me are acceptable and what parts do I need to hide and lots of shame happens?

with that hiding and So people wind up being very small versions of themselves instead of dreaming and so the work that I get to do is Helping people remember who they are and it's it's not finding themselves It's remembering who they've always been it's allowing them to come home to them It's allowing them to find That three four five six seven year old who's fearless who loved to dream who loved to show up big Who had imagination? Imagination so we're talking about Disney movies think about the word imagination the first part of its image if I can see it I can imagine it And how cool is it to be able to play in a world where we get to imagine? Life and what if we came back to that as adults? How fun would that be? Yeah, for sure.

I mean you can really unlock a lot of things. What do you think the role was that Mufasa played in? Helping to set the stage for Simba who he is and by the same token when we look at our young people How can we play that same role for our young people like Mufasa did mm-hmm So the first thing I think Mufasa did is he created safety? so He he saw there's that scene where he's looking over the whole Thing and he's just looking out for the whole tribe like he's not Helicoptering them, but he's just looking out and he and you just get the feeling of oh Mufasa's got this Whatever happens Mufasa's got this So the very first thing he did is he created safety for the whole tribe? the next thing he did is he was a role model and So Simba got to see what a king was in real time because Mufasa was a great king and with Children there's so many times Where we're teaching them by what we do Way more than what we say They're watching in the moments when we don't think they're watching.

I was over at a friend's house the other day and They have two girls six and three oh fun ages, and I noticed They were about to get into a little tiff over Oh, you're in my bubble and So I turned it into this game. I was like well watch this now. I'm in your bubble and we turned it from a Sister fight incoming to this game where now all of a sudden they're working together to try to deal with me and It went from the sister fight to everybody's just laughing and having a great time and Sometimes in those moments, it's just oh We can do something. I didn't even have to say anything. I didn't have to be like, hey girls knock it off Right.

I was just like what would shift the energy right here. Yeah, and so Just looking at Mufasa like you look at his presence He comes in he is strong He is grounded he is sure he is confident and So Simba's learning that that's what it looks like to be king what's interesting to you use that example because What we also have in the movie is when Simba who's told not to go to the elephant graveyard still does course because that's what kids do and Mufasa has to go and save them. Mm-hmm And Mufasa does need to reset the boundary like he does need to tell him like I told you you can't go there You can't do it. You put yourself at risk. You put Nala at risk, right?

Mm-hmm. And then what does he do? He shows him love and they wrestle around in the grass Right, they start goofing off right because he has to he has to reprove him, right? He's got he's got to set the standard of what it really is. Hey, you did do something wrong Like we have to acknowledge you did something wrong But then he brings it back He he helps him remember who he is He shows him love and then they have they turn that into fun in a bonding moment, which it can be I think maybe sometimes his parents would get a little bit too serious or like it's just all punishment, right?

And sometimes it is just like okay, so we got to disrupt it a little bit. Mm-hmm Let's just let's just like get into the bubble. Right? Let's make this thing a fun thing And so that kids can experience that okay, there are boundaries, but there's also fun in life that we can we don't to be serious All the time. Yeah.

Yeah, I love the example that you had that was I was brilliant that you did that Yeah, and I would even draw a distinction between boundaries and agreements. Yeah, and so for me boundaries are The spot where I can fully show up as myself Boundaries are for me by me Agreements are what I set with somebody else. And so if I was to look at What the relationship between Mufasa and Simba I might even call that an agreement Hey, sounds like it you violated our agreement. Yeah, our agreement was you don't go to the elephant grove We're gonna foot stomp this We're gonna make sure that you understand what our agreements are because this is our agreement together and I think about boundaries as like borders for the nation and I think about agreement like treaties like the United States and Canada. They have a treaty Hey, we'll protect each other if either one of us needs to we're gonna protect each other And so that I would draw that distinction between boundaries and agreements Well, I think it's a helpful one because What we'll hear in in child psychology a lot is that when you can get the buy-in for?

From the child for whatever the rule is. Mm-hmm By agreement, right then when they have violated that agreement then you don't get the same degree of backtalk Because it's hey, we had this agreement. We agreed. This was the rule now You violated that rule or that agreement and here's the natural consequence that we already agreed would happen if you violated it, right and It's not always the easiest thing to do right my wife and I try doing it their kids and sometimes it's a little bit harder than Than just you know saying it However, when we've done it effectively, it really it really does work Uh-huh, and it leads to a whole lot less backdoc Which is a whole lot less like fighting an argument in a much more peaceful home for sure So I love the reframe there and I appreciate where you're coming from with it being agreements because I think that's exactly right Uh-huh. And the cool thing about agreements is you're teaching them to trust themselves from a young age.

So you're part of this So guess what you know have skin in the game. It's not just because I told you to it's because we agreed to this Yeah, and so in those moments Being able to say hey, this is our agreement How would you like to show up Based on our agreement. What would it look like you mentioned earlier? You love to ask questions So what if you asked your kids the question of okay, here's our agreement How do you want to show up at this moment so that you can honor our agreement? Then they get to decide then they're building self-trust And how powerful is our world when we have kids who love themselves and could trust themselves and feel safe?

themselves Yeah, it's it's a really helpful Reframed to give our kids and I think I think that's part of what we saw from Mufasa And it's part of one of the lessons we can learn and then what we see is is exactly the opposite of that With some subsequent things that happened December, right? and You know, we all know the story, right? Scar ultimately is able to kill Mufasa He has this whole plan to kill Mufasa and does and then blames it on Simba Right and and then and then he tells Simba. It's a quote from the movie This is just moments after Mufasa's death and scars planting these seeds of self-blame and grief But the king is dead and if it weren't for you, he'd still be alive. Mm-hmm.

And so scar Reframes it in the worst way For Simba and now Simba's got this trauma. Mm-hmm of his dad dying And now he's got an adult who's telling him it's his fault. Mm-hmm, right? and so in what ways do we do that in our lives where Trauma pulls us away from the wonderment and the possibility we have from that, you know, three four five six year old brain And then also what role does other people? Now do other people play in in keeping us from that and getting us in the wrong mindset.

Mm-hmm. Absolutely and Sometimes it's as insidious as what scar did. Yeah. Oh totally right and sometimes it's not Sometimes it's a well-meaning person. Yeah, who's just trying to help But sometimes it is manipulation or gaslighting pick your Pick your psychological abuse terminology I've seen both and sometimes it's somebody is just living their own experience and they project it onto you and So in those moments where we have the choice of Do I trust myself or do I trust you and in those moments where it's like I'm not sure I'm feeling confused.

I don't know the answer. I need to go outside myself And There's a difference between asking for perspective and checking in with you Hey, I just got this information. How does this feel for me? How does this feel in my gut? Does this align with who I am at my core?

Yes or no? I've quoted one of my favorite philosophers Bruce Lee He says take what is useful discard what is not add what is uniquely your own and for me that means Listen be aware be curious about perspectives Don't throw out the baby with the bathwater Take the part that's useful But also don't just take everything Nobody gets a lifetime pass to decide for me what my truth is and your truth might be different than mine And that's totally okay because what if the world was big enough for both of us to have our own lived experience and For us to both be able to show up and live our own path in a way that felt authentic to both of us like what a great world to live in and Then as those traumas show up There's times where those traumas hold us back From actually being who we are. There's times. I remember in my own life. I was three years old I'm standing on a stool Trying to brush my teeth and I was still a tall kid back then I am six foot five.

So I'm a tall guy and I couldn't quite reach the The faucet handles and I remember I was crying in there. I can't do it by myself and My parents came in and they turned it into a song. Oh, I can't do it by myself sniff sniff and They didn't mean anything by it like they were just trying to get me to calm down But what got planted my mind is I can't do it by myself And rather than saying hey, we got you. We're gonna help you. You're okay.

Your feelings are valid You can feel this you're safe to feel this. I totally understand why you're feeling this You're good All the sudden the subconscious programming went in By the way, I've heard the stat that says 95% of our lived experience by the time we're 35 is subconscious and So in those moments All the sudden I had this subconscious programming running in the background I can't do this by myself and any time a big decision showed up for me. I Felt the need to ask somebody else to get To the point where I felt paralyzed in making the big decisions and It wasn't until I cleared that for my own life Now I can now I can show up confidently now I can both ask for help but also trust myself Yeah, it's interesting how you know For everybody different things that might be said to them play a role in what our subconscious brain decides to take and what it doesn't You know as we as we Look again at Simba's journey. Mm-hmm, right? So after scar says that to him and and and makes him feel the blame for it and he leaves He then encounters a couple of other Creatures that have a very different philosophy, right?

but you know, you know as I was looking at it, maybe they have some trauma of their own because All Timon says something very interesting when Simba's kind of telling him what he experienced in Timon says when the world turns its back on you you turn your back on the world, right? It's like okay. Well, that's you know, that's Timon's lived experience and that's his perspective because he's obviously been through some stuff But now he's telling Simba the same thing and what does Simba end up doing? I mean, that's what he does for whatever stretch of time it is from when he you know from when Mufasa dies till till he's You know and we're past adolescence and starting to come into his own Presumably years right that he's got this where he has Accepted the blame from scar. Mm-hmm that he shouldn't have he didn't need to carry that weight He did now is accept this philosophy of Hakuna Matata, right world turn their back on me I'm gonna turn the back on this world and that's the world he's living in and that's what he allows to do So these outside voices are what's controlling him and what he's doing rather than Going back to what he knew going back to what Mufasa taught him going back to who he really was And that stands in the way of him becoming who he was for a really long time Mm-hmm, and I mean we obviously we do that at times.

We let ourselves be held back by What other people say or just by just by the trauma, right? Just experiencing the trauma because something like a death is a big deal. Mm-hmm can really affect us Yeah, you ever had things like that that you experienced a big trial or a big trauma or any clients that have that? You had to find a way to work through and work past so that you could Go back to self-trust and self-belief and becoming who you who you're meant to be Yeah, so I'll go back to the client. I mentioned earlier.

He's given me full permission to share his story So I'm not violating any confidentiality here he served in the military and He had a lot of trauma and When we first started coaching He was like there's things I've never told anybody. He's like I've seen things that I can't tell anybody And we ended up working through and they were capital T traumas, you know loss of life serious injuries Roadside bombs going off having a round Come right up into the seat of the helicopter that he was flying in and had they not have put in an Additional bulletproof material that morning. He wouldn't be here So he had capital T trauma to work through a lot of my clients do and It's so fun to watch them be able to see it get down to the root of it and find Okay, I can let this go. I don't have to keep holding on to this I don't have to keep replaying this in every area of my life because so many people The trauma creates the fear of what if this happens again and So like in my own example, what if I can't do it by myself? Played out in so many areas of my life and As we released that trauma all the sudden we're now open for all these new possibilities And what you said earlier about to monopumba So many times we'll Hear something it's like okay cool.

I'm gonna go learn from this. I'm gonna go learn from this guy I'm all in on this and I'm super passionate about this and then we move on to the next thing It's like alright, cool. I've just learned this new thing. I'm all in on this and And then we start noticing oh This seems to contradict this What if instead of this or this what if it was this or this And this or maybe it's a little bit of this and a little bit of this so if we were to take a little bit of the strength and the courage and the groundedness that Scar showed or not scar but Mufasa showed and we were to take the Hakuna Matata, it means no worries for the rest of your days. That's carefree.

That's enjoying life So what if we could what if we could have it all that was one of the very first things I told Grace who is an earlier guest on your podcast. What if you could have it all and So what if it's not a this or this what if it's a this and this but it's not Complete massive swing over here and then complete massive swing over here What if it was just I am finding balance with what aligns for me in this moment? I'm taking what feels aligned from what? Timon and Mahuma are saying it means no worries. It doesn't mean that I have to hook into his trauma around the world I'm gonna turn my back on the world, but it means hey, we're gonna go have fun We're gonna sing along the way and let's go enjoy it Before we jump back in can I ask you a quick favor if you're enjoying the journey so far Will you like rate and subscribe to our show it helps us reach more people like you We can design and create and build the most wonderful place in the world But it takes people to make the dream a reality It's such a good perspective it's it's a yes and for me right like yes What Mufasa taught is correct, right?

Who you are is you he was meant to be the king and You can also live in the moment you can also shed off worries and be present where you are right Be present in what you're doing. I was just watching Golf tournament over the weekend. Yeah, world number one golfer Scotty Scheffler, right? He wins the tournament this this weekend He's had a really consistent season all season hasn't won a lot of tournaments In fact, he's only won two yet one of his most consistent seasons the reporter afterwards asked him like if you had any advice for kids That wanted to one day be where you are What's the advice that you would give them and he said be where your feet are? Mm-hmm when I'm at practice like I'm at practice I'm not thinking about hanging out with the guys.

I'm not thinking about being at home and missing my Kids and my wife, right? I'm also not thinking about the run. I'm thinking about I'm practicing and being there when I'm playing a tournament I'm there and when I'm home, I'm home and I'm not thinking about practice. I'm not thinking about the tournament I'm gonna play it next. I Love the idea of what you're talking about with kuna matata thing was that is good.

Like let's take that thing Let's have no worries in the moment be present in the moment where you are and you can also still Remember who you are and step into your power and do those things like both things can simultaneously be true. Yes Yes, and when I look at them, it's like If I'm seeing a situation where it's this or this It's usually if I take a step back and see the bigger picture it's like oh these are two parts of the whole Yes There's absolute value to being safe to being grounded to having purpose to having passion to knowing what you want in your life to designing your life to creating a life that lets you up and Yes, there's absolute Power in being fully present in being playful in enjoying your life in taking those moments Stopping at the side of the road and at the taco stand that just looks amazing Instead of driving by it. Yeah, those moments where you look back and nobody's gonna say man I remember that random Wednesday at 11 p.m. When I had that meeting Everybody's gonna remember oh my gosh, I remember that time with dad and we went to the waterslide park and It was the most fun day. Yeah.

Yeah, I love that. That's fantastic Let me ask you Let me ask you let me get a hot take from you. Yeah, okay Cuz I was thinking about this this morning when I was getting ready I had on the soundtrack for Lion King right, yeah, go like I I love I love Disney music and I was kind of getting prepped and One of the great songs I mean The soundtrack for Lion King is the classic like no skips soundtrack like every time it's good And one of the best villain songs out there is be prepared. I'm scar Uh-huh. Okay, so let me ask you about this because as I started thinking about I think it's a really interesting thing for us to look at When we think about scar, mm-hmm Scar knew what he wanted.

Uh-huh scar wanted something big. He wanted something huge. He wanted to be kink Scar Believed in it so much that he enlisted the help of the people around him. Yeah, and he went about to make it happen. He Trusted his guts so to speak on what he was gonna do and yet it was for great evil Uh-huh.

So contrast that for me, you know, you know when we're thinking about the idea of trusting your gut trust your intuition believing in herself Uh-huh. What's the difference between? Simba Remembering who he was and believing it believing in himself and scar Doing much the same thing with vastly different purposes and outcomes. Uh-huh. And I'm gonna tell you a funny story About the Lion King that actually leads into this So when the Lion King came out I was I think I was either a junior or senior in high school I was driving at the time and my brother wanted the Lion King soundtrack He was I think he was 12 or 13 at the time and so he was like hey Jeremy He's like I'll tell you what he's like I will take over your chore of mowing the lawn if you go buy me the Lion King soundtrack and Me in my villain arc, I wasn't like hey, you know, that's a bad deal for you.

I Immediately went and grabbed my keys. I hauled it to the local store I probably broke every speed law to get there before he changed his mind and Came back and like here you go Now you have this chore and so my dad like a week later. He's like hey, Jer I need you to go mow the lawn and I was like, no, you don't this is my brother's job now He's like, what do you mean? I said we made a deal and My dad's like that's a terrible deal and I was like It wasn't a terrible deal for me and so in that moment like Yeah, I was I was looking out for number one and Yeah, there's times where there's Where we step into something and we're just looking out for number one And we're just looking out for hey, what's going to advance me and we're not thinking about the cost We're not thinking about the bigger picture. How does it impact other people?

How does it impact our world? How does it? What's going to be the knock-on effect for what we're doing? We're so focused on the eye And not focused on the we Get so focused on the me. So the the w gets flipped upside down and it's now a me.

Yeah and in those moments a lot of times People are a lot of times people want control because they need certainty and underneath that needing certainty is the need to feel safe And so if we were to go to a lot of those times With scar like I'll bet you he didn't feel safe. Yeah, he didn't feel safe. He didn't feel wanted Yeah, he didn't feel loved. Yeah. Yeah, it's totally true.

Yeah, I could have done some really good work with scar Right, you'd have been a great candidate for your coaching stuff because he could have used it right totally and and instead of I mean because obviously he was skilled Yeah, obviously he knew how to inspire people to follow him And yet did it for great evil Um, and you know, it's a great it's a great point that you bring up. It's it's what what is the focus of? Of what the purpose is. Is it focused purely on selfish things or is it focused on? You know how we can Benefit everybody benefit those around us certainly ourselves as well, right?

We're not going to completely forget about ourselves, but that's all he thought about How can he have that sense of importance? And that sense of being loved and admired and he was going to do anything necessary to do it Whereas simba was was not focused on that at all. Yeah Right simba by contrast is focused on okay. I've got to remember who I am and what's the purpose of being the king It's not so that I can be loved and admired no, it's so I can effectuate great good for others It's so I can take my right place in the circle of life, right? That's what mufasa talks about his place in the circle of life and the circle of life is to benefit Everybody right all all of the creatures that were there him taking his place was to benefit all of them And I think the movie does a really nice job too of showing You know when scar takes over suddenly the circle of life is disrupted Suddenly it's like there is no food and everything's dark, right?

Of course would never really happen in real life if the wrong lion took charge But like it's such a great visual representation of what that selfishness does Versus care for everybody and for what the circle of life means. Absolutely and one of my favorite definitions of love is What is for the highest good of all concerned? And that includes me by the way, yeah and So if I was to look at the way that simba shows up and the way that mufasa showed up ultimately It's through the lens of love And if I was to look at the way that scar showed up, it's through the lens of fear Through power and through manipulation And so you have that contrast of is it love? Or is it fear? Because a lot of times if we just keep asking the question and why is that?

And why is that? And why is that? We'll get to either love or fear At the end of that chain of why questions because what I've experienced is Love or fear fear or love And the more we can release fear the more capacity we have to show up in love That's a great point. I love that you know one of the things that I came across in kind of preparing today was Um a quote by adam grant. Mm-hmm.

Love adam grant. Uh, he's one of my favorites. He was on andrew huberman's podcast And they were talking a little bit about Authenticity right and trusting yourself and you know what? What he talks about? Um, he said that the the real test isn't does this feel authentic right now?

But is this consistent with my principles and here's the exact quote Says I think what we want to ask is is what I'm about to do or say consistent with my principle right And what what role do you think? Knowing what your principles are What role does that play into? Trusting yourself and and finding your authentic self So I had a very similar version of that thought come to me last week And the way it came to me was you were on your path if you're doing aligns with your being And for me When I know who I am And I'm clear on who I am and I'm in alignment with who I am right now Everything I do one step at a time Comes from alignment with that If if I'm trying to be something I'm not if I'm trying to Fit an avatar of a mask I've created All of a sudden that gets really confusing Okay, which mask did I wear with you? Okay, which mask did I wear with you? Okay, which mask did I wear with you?

trying to just juggle all that mental gymnastics is exhausting where authenticity is Who I am is just who I am And the integrity of it is I continue to show up as me In every situation whether it's in public Whether it's on social media Whether it's in a group setting whether it's in the community setting whether it's one-on-one Hey, this is me Love it take it or leave it How do you go find? for you Who you are keeping in mind like this idea of principles and values because We all have that little voice inside our head that at time tells us to do something we shouldn't do Right that that wants us to you know Say the main thing or take advantage or take more than we're entitled to right? And I think again sometimes what people will use as an excuse is that idea of like I'm just being my authentic self That's why I'm gonna be a jerk I'm just being honest, right? I'm just giving you the hard truth and I'm just being honest and really it's just brashness and harshness and being rude Like where's that difference though for people totally and I love that and another variation of that is oh I'm just keeping it real Yes. Oh, I hear that way too often.

Yeah, you go and keep it real And so for me The distinction actually came in Understanding the difference between for love and from love Okay, tell me more yeah, so For love and as I mentioned earlier, I'm a musician And I could see the times in my life where I would show up and I'd perform for love I'd want that cute girl in the audience to notice me. I'd want my buddies in the band to think I was killing it I'd want The people who were there and so it's all external. It's all about them perceiving me And then I thought about the times I performed from love And it was like this is from my heart. I just love this music. I'm just vibing with this music and If anybody else gets it or not cool This is for me from me And if you like it awesome, if not, cool.

We're good And then I got to take a look at everything I've created because I'm a creator as well And so it was like where did I create for love versus from love? And so what I ended up doing is I ended up taking a piece of paper drawing a line down the middle For love on the left from love on the right and the challenge to myself was jeremy Anything you've created for love go recreate it from love and so To your point about values My values tend to be very stable My values don't change very often they can sometimes but my values tend to be my values My values are a north star for me So I get really clear on what my values are And then from those values it can be a check-in Does this feel aligned with my values? or Is my ego stepping in am I starting to do something that feels out of integrity with me just for a short term? When short-term fix a short-term Dopamine hit yeah Those short-term things From my perspective always wind up with long-term consequences When you took stock of things for love or from love I mean, did you ever find that that sometimes you felt like something you did was both? Yeah, because as you're saying that I again, I love the principle of it and as I sit there think about it though.

I'm like Boy sometimes I really feel like I'm doing it both because look it feels good to have somebody appreciate what you're doing Right. Yeah, it feels good when when we've done a podcast episode that I really felt passionate about And somebody that I'm out amongst the community and they're like hey, listen that episode was really great. It feels good You're like, okay. Yeah, like all right Yeah And so then you're like, okay Am I doing it for the praise or am I doing it because I love what what that is that I'm doing? And I think that for me a lot of things in life I kind of see like Man, it's kind of like this battle when things I'm doing like yeah Well, I want to receive the love but I do want to do it from my heart and like What do you do with that tension that exists there?

Yeah So I for me like I remember a time A couple years ago I wrote a song for a friend for their birthday Cheesy song like totally cheesy song Um, like a lot of songs tend to be but it was from my heart and Like that part was straight up from love the for love part was We had a big birthday party for her and I had My friends play the song For everybody at the birthday party, you know, there's probably like 40 people there And that part of me was my ego wanting my other friends to see oh my gosh Look at this amazing gift. Jeremy just made for his friend And and so it was both in that situation And what I've noticed is It's okay to want to enjoy when somebody appreciates what you do. I love it when somebody says hey, Jeremy You said something that changed my life. I love it when my clients come up to me and say Oh my gosh that session we just had like I've been showing up differently since then That's not my why though My why is I love seeing people step into their power And so you can do the exact same thing but from a different why and so if I get that Adulation if I get that acknowledgement if I get that recognition Awesome. It feels good.

I'm gonna look at them and say thank you so much I receive that with gratitude. Yeah But it's not why I'm doing it. Yeah, you're not you're not just searching for that You're not just searching for the love and praise. That's not the only thing that's motivating you You've got the pure motivations and you accept the love as it comes. Absolutely.

Yeah, absolutely If I'm so abundant Why wouldn't love come into my life? Yeah, and abundance is a great point. Yeah abundance is more than just money abundance is Opportunities it's love it's relationships. It's friendships. It's connections.

Yeah when you show Love and kindness to people as a regular practice of what you do Inevitably, it will come back to you. Yes. Yes. Yes, and I was actually sitting with that over the weekend and If if you've been Religious the religious people will teach that as give and it will be given. Yeah, and If you think about the golden rule show of the way you want other people to treat you If you think about the tradition of karma what you put out into the world comes back to you And so every major tradition Has a version of this And and I love what you're talking about here and I believe it's true If we show up as our most authentic selves And we show up In ways that are authentic to ourselves Inevitably more comes back to us than we put out there like if you think about a farmer They go out into a field And they plant seeds But then you think about the harvest that it comes back with like for each seed that they planted Let's say they were planting corn one seed Equals an entire stock of corn with all these ears on it So that one seed multiplied itself.

Yeah, so inevitably When we show up as our authentic selves and we give big and we love big It comes back to us more than we could have ever anticipated in more creative ways than we could have anticipated And that just requires us to be aligned with ourselves and trusting ourselves every day. Yeah, I love that so At the end of the episode we're going to get to your three actual takeaways Yeah, but before we get to our this or that or our rapid fire. Yeah any other final thoughts about this idea of Trusting yourself trusting your gut and especially as it relates to lion king. Absolutely So if we think about the end of the lion king so it's the showdown between scar and simba and Simba he has to trust himself like major gut check time It's all on the line. He has burned the boats.

There's no plan b. He's bet it all on himself for this moment And that doesn't mean we have to live life without a contingency plan. In fact, sometimes not having a contingency plan is a failure road But in this moment simba said I'm going all in on me I'm doing it for the best of our whole tribe Scar isn't the right one to lead scar killed my father I've wanted to be king my whole life. It's my time and I'm going to step in And I'm going to lead and I'm going to do this from a place of self-trust and so um Like I think about the m&m song Palms are sweaty Oh, yeah mom's spaghetti Lose yourself in the music the moment you never let go you get one shot This opportunity only comes once in a lifetime Like I could imagine that being simba's walk-up song as he's getting ready to go fight scar. Yeah and In that moment, he's just gut checking himself And he's believing in himself I can do this and it's all on the line And in that moment, he's stepping into massive self-trust Because there's no other option in that moment If he had one ounce of fear He might hesitate And who knows what happens in that moment?

But he's stepping out there in total belief of who he is in total alignment with who he is And just allowing himself to show up as his authentic self in the moment And to your point earlier, he did it from love Not for love. Yeah, he he had to love his pride Not his internal pride the pride. Yes, right. Yeah, uh his group of people He had to love all of all of the animals that were there part of the circle of life more Than in that moment than he values on life He had to put it all on the line and it was it was from love that he was willing to make that sacrifice for everybody else Um, oh, it's such a it's it's such a good framing of that for me that I hadn't thought about before Yeah, yeah. Awesome freaking love it.

Not everywhere can be the happiest place on earth And at rcg law group my job outside of our podcast we get that Life throws curveballs legal stuff family stuff the things you didn't see coming. That's what we're here for If you're dealing with something and don't know where to turn give rcg a call Okay So let's go to some fun segments and then we're gonna circle back to your three actual takeaways. Can't wait to get those Let's do it. Okay. Here's our this or that now.

It's just whichever one you think If I think your opinion is controversial, I will call you out on it, right? Uh, we're gonna have fun with it. Okay First one timon or pumba? Uh timon timon. Okay.

Tell me more um just a fun Fun little character throughout the movie like he's just so much fun. Like he's so loyal and he's so snarky Exactly. Exactly. Like everybody needs a timon in your life. You totally do.

Oh, I love I love timon Okay, hakuna matata or circle of life hakuna matata. Yeah, it's a fun song. Uh, right. I mean, I love both of them. Yeah, but No worries for the rest of your days.

Yeah. Yeah uh simba as a cub Or as king Both Okay, I'm gonna make you choose one. I'm gonna make you choose one I accept that it's both I accept that because it's part of who he is But if you had to say one or the other, what would it be? I would say simba is king. Yeah, because Simba is king actually embodies simba as the cup and he's brought that that Innocence that joy That play into Who he is and then he's also brought the wisdom in yeah, he's had to remember Who he was right remember that time with that wonderment.

Okay stargazing or sunrise Stargazing Okay. Yeah I mean I do love a good sunrise And I remember getting up at croatia at four in the morning to go catch some amazing photos of those That said that was also four in the morning And stargazing like being out laying under the stars especially in a black light community where you can see it when you're out away And you can just see it's just one of my favorite things ever. Yeah, we um, I was on a On a trip this summer with some young men in my neighborhood including my two boys and we were on the green river and It is there is no artificial light anywhere around and I just remember looking up at night and you can just see So many stars there's just this sense of wonder that you get Yeah, when you looked and see all of the stars out. Uh, it is pretty cool. Yeah, I like that answer Um journaling or talking it out They're both great tools Um For me, it's talking it out for me.

I love sitting down with somebody I trust Talking it through Getting their perspective sharing mine And co-creating that process together. Yeah Yeah, I'm a bit of an external processor And I start to evolve and develop what my thoughts are when I can talk it out loud with somebody Yeah, I find that to be very helpful um solo hike Or road trip with a friend road trip with a friend. Okay. Are you a solo hot guy solo hike guy? I can be okay But I'm definitely not like at all.

Yeah They introduced two new love languages last year so it's instead of the five love languages, it's now seven Oh, I didn't know this. Yeah, the two new ones they introduced were emotional safety and shared experiences So I thought I was quality time but shared experiences it Hits even closer to home for me. And so road trip with a friend is right out my shared experience alley Totally. Yeah, it makes total sense. Okay.

This next one. I think I know now basically talked about but I'm gonna go ahead and ask anyways karaoke or trivia night Karaoke, yeah, because you're a singer because you can sing like I am not a singer at all Even though like karaoke can be fun. I'm a terrible singer. Nobody wants to listen me sing I've had some fun nights doing karaoke. Hold that what's your go-to karaoke song bohemian rhapsody.

Oh heck. Yeah Amazing. Oh, what a great karaoke song too or baby got back I mean, yeah, you are definitely a kid that grew up in the 90s. There's no doubt that that's what your go-to is I'm a I want it that way guy. Nice.

I love that backstreet boys. I can go that anytime My brother and I are not singers and yet I can still like a core memory He and I we're in our 20s and we went and did karaoke and he and I sang it together And then a couple of our friends joined midway through the song. That's a core memory, right? Yeah, we're terrible We can't sing it well at all. And yet we've had an absolute blast doing it.

Yeah, tell me why Exactly exactly Window seat or aisle seat. Ooh aisle seat because I'm a tall guy you are When they're not pushing the carts through I might sneak my legs out just to stretch them out every once in a while And if I need to go to the bathroom, I don't want to have to climb over two people And we are perfectly aligned there. It is the same thing. I'm not quite as tall as you are But definitely a tall guy. I don't want to be sneaking past somebody you're bumping into every time I gotta go to the bathroom And look I'm in my mid 40s means I gotta go to the bathroom a lot So you can pretty much guarantee I'm gonna go during a flight unless it's to vegas or something And so yeah, I'm a when I'm an aisle guy all the way there Um, okay last this or that text or call Depends on who it is Whoever you want.

Yeah I love a good call with somebody I love being it because 93 of communication is non-verbal So much of communication is lost in text. It's so convenient because it's asynchronous. Yeah, but There's something great about a live conversation with somebody else sure Have you ever Tried a voice memo. Uh-huh. Do you like those?

Yes, I know some people love them because you do get a little bit more Flavor in it. It's still not the back and forth that you get in a conversation, right? But it's a little bit more Context and flavor than just the text. Yeah, I I've tried it I still am not like a convert to to voice memos, but I can definitely understand the value in those Yeah, it's it's a hybrid between a text and a call Or the next step up to something like marco polo. Oh, yeah people love some marco polo Yeah, because then you get to see the facial expression.

Yeah. Yeah for sure Um, okay, you ready for a rapid fire? Let's do it. Okay, just whatever comes to mind. Yeah, okay favorite disney movie Uh the lion king.

Okay, that's a good answer, right? A lot of times that's what it ends up being is it's the movie we just talked about uh favorite disney song. Ooh um I'll say hokuna matata. Okay, that's a great answer. I've gotten that answer before.

Yeah, uh, people love that song I do too. It's a wonderful song Favorite disney princess princess jasmine jasmine. You see you are a 90s guy. Yeah, aladdin was so good That was I remember that I loved jasmine too growing up. Oh man jasmine Favorite disney hero Um, I would say aladdin.

Okay, aladdin. He's a good hero for sure Now I don't I we haven't talked about it have you ever been to Disneyland or Disney World? Yes, which one I've been to both. Okay. I used to live in california And I used to have season passes to Disneyland.

We should talk more about Disneyland. Okay, then I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna Kick back to a quick this or that then. Yep, Disneyland or Disney World um Disney World Disney World. Okay now within Disney World, let's go So Animal Kingdom or EPCOT Animal Kingdom, okay, and now what about uh, Hollywood Studios or Magic Kingdom Magic Kingdom Okay, then let's I guess let's siphon it down Magic Kingdom or Animal Kingdom Magic Kingdom Okay, so Magic Kingdom is your thing. You love Magic Kingdom.

Yeah, okay So now this will pop us to our rapid fire favorite ride at Disneyland or Disney World the indiana jones ride Really? Yeah. Okay classic ride. I mean when that came out do you remember when that came out? Oh, yeah You were you living in california at the time.

Yeah. Oh man. It was unbelievable Right like everything about the ride was great. The queue was amazing. No experience of it Um, I mean the little video they did that like right before you get on right so fun like explaining don't look in the eye Oh, it's a great ride.

And now they're they're doing an indiana jones update to the what was the dinosaur ride right in Is the Animal Kingdom? I think that's where it is Animal Kingdom. You heard this No, I haven't yeah, so d23 they made a big announcement that uh harrison ford's gonna Gonna lend his voice and stuff to the redesign Because they they use the same style of ride to create the dinosaur ride if you ever went on it at Animal Kingdom I always thought it was kind of lame. There's that's probably controversial a lot of people love that ride Sorry for those of you that do I having been on indiana jones. I was always like, ah kind of it's fine But they're gonna do a full update with harrison ford indiana jones for that ride.

I can't wait for it. Cool Yeah, you you'll love it. Yeah. Yeah, and if they wanted to go co-op with universal studios Make it indiana jones meets jurassic park Wouldn't that be cool? Uh, that'd be amazing um, okay place you'd most like to visit ooh um southeast asia australia new zealand Okay, oh, those would be fun times Have you ever watched bluey?

You don't have kids so you might not have I have never watched bluey Okay, but bluey that's australia is bluey and they did a big thing at d23 because they're gonna do a bluey movie now And they had the mom and dad do some interviews that were there and it's so funny to hear To see them talk because they sound exactly like their characters on bluey. It was amazing But they're australian and they've got great accents um dream podcast guest ooh Great question I would say Podcast guest I would say I would say it would be so fun to have oprah oprah, yeah Oh, yeah, it would be amazing. Oh, it would be an incredible guy. Okay, we're gonna put that out there in the universe for you Yeah, uh oprah on your podcast. We're putting it out there.

Okay, we're gonna find a way to make this happen Favorite book My favorite book is the four agreements. I mentioned it earlier. That's your favorite Okay, well, we're definitely gonna make sure that's in the in the show notes for sure Animal you'd want as your spirit guide. Ooh Um, I would say a lion Okay. Yeah, that makes sense.

Yeah, they're big. They're strong. They're powerful. They're brave. They're leaders Yeah, I mean if mine was a lion it would have to also have the voice of james ral jones Just got me through with that deep booming voice.

Oh, I love his voice Yeah, could you imagine if he got to narrate your life? Oh, it'd be amazing. Um, I'll throw in also uh potentially the singing from Um alton fitzgerald white. Mm-hmm. So he's he's his book right here.

We had him on the podcast He played mufasa on broadway more than 4 000 times. Wow He's got a great deep voice like just speaking voice and then when he sings it's like, oh my goodness He could see he could sing the phone book and I would love it So if he could be my animal guide with that voice, uh, it'd be amazing too Um favorite food favorite food is steak steak. I love where's your favorite place to go for it for it my grill My oh your own grill my own grill. I was like my grill. Is that a place I don't know.

No your own home grill Okay. Well, where do you buy the steak from? The local butcher Okay, so you go to like an official butcher to get it because you got to get the best. Yeah Okay. Yeah, my favorite I did this for myself last year on my birthday I went and got a cut of a5 wagyu And did it on my grill.

Oh my and how do you cook it? Two minutes on each side. So you're like Rare no that was that medium rare that's literally the cook for that steak Okay, like I bought it to do how hot what temperature is it to do two minutes on each side? Uh, it got to like 135 which is right where I wanted it. Okay.

Oh, uh, the grill was 500. Okay 500 That's what I was going for the steak was so I bought it And they looked at me and because it's not a cheap cut no and they're like, do you know how to cook this? I love that. It's like absolutely and they're like, are you sure? I said I got this I got two minutes any side 500 degrees.

It's fine. I'm exactly what and it was amazing It was so tender That you didn't even need a knife This sounds amazing. I'm gonna have to find out the butcher you went to because steak is definitely my favorite I love it. I love it part of why I like ruse crisp because they do steaks really well But yeah, they don't have wagyu Um, all right favorite city favorite city I would say split croatia Really? Uh-huh.

Okay Tell me more. It was beautiful there. It's right on the mediterranean sea The food is incredible because it's right next to italy So you get that you're getting that flavor palette. Yeah, it's really inexpensive. The people are so nice We stayed in a roman castle while we were there Uh, okay, you you might be convincing me I need to visit I always thought like I don't know why people go to croatia And I might be convinced that was the place I went for my 4 a.m.

Sunrise photos overlooking the bay So you get the sun just peeking up over the bay And I showed the pictures to the people in our group and they were like, these are incredible Can we get some and I'm like sure it's like come with me tomorrow. They're like what time I said 4 a.m They're like never mind. We're good They're like send me yours That's too funny Okay, how about this one? This one might not be a rapid fire, uh, because it might take more explanation But we're gonna ask it anyways, how are you saying yes and in your life right now? I say yes and in my life When something's a full yes for me, I say yes And then I add on my own part to it.

And so yes and comes from improv comedy. It sure does And so hey, I'm gonna take what you're offering and now I'm gonna add my piece And so that's I'm showing up as me I'm taking what you're adding and we're world building together. We're co-creating and so I strive to do that in my friendships my relationships in my communities Just creating that world of yes and phenomenal phenomenal Um And then last rapid fire question again, this one might not be so rapid But what is the question I should have asked you that I didn't? I would say What did it take to remember how to love yourself okay, so that is the question So I grew up and Lived the whole Expected life so lived in church I grew up in church went to youth group Um started playing in the church band met my wife got married young We were married for 10 years uh I thought That what I was supposed to do was lose my identity So that we could create a new one together Come to find out they call that co-dependence That's exactly the word that came to my mind when you said that like oh, yeah, it's co-dependency. Uh-huh.

Yeah I didn't know it at the time but Started there When the marriage ended? I had to go figure out who I was again starting from nothing so had to rebuild from the ground up And so I had learned how to be really really hard on myself and I spent A whole year just learning who I was and then Started learning as much as I possibly could about leadership about values about Who do I want to be? And and then realize I was still really hard on myself because I would set goals for myself and it was pass fail So if it's pass Give myself about two minutes to celebrate and then I'm on to the next goal If it's fail I'm gonna beat myself up for that I'm gonna be really hard on myself And what I realized is I can still achieve the exact same thing in my life but I can do it from a place of loving myself and compassion because if people can only love me to the extent I love myself And people will show up for me the way that I treat myself because it's all a mirror and like last year I decided I was going to lose some weight And in the past I had always done it by being really restrictive and really hard on myself. I knew how to get the results But I decided I was going to lose some weight and In about six months, I lost 50 pounds And I did it from a place of self-love self-care and I did it in a way that was sustainable for me And so I could feel the difference. I was like I'm finally embodying That level of self-love that I've been working on for years Yeah, amazing.

What a great answer. Yeah, great question As well why'd you ask it? So is we're gonna wrap up what are your three actionable takeaways? So for self-trust The first thing I would do Is I would say Get to know yourself Who are you right now? And ways you can do it is journaling you can do it by reflection.

You can do it prayer or meditation Just get to know yourself get curious about who you are right now Get curious about what you like what you don't like and write it down Okay, love that. So get curious and write it down. Uh-huh. The second step Is as you know your own voice Learn how to take in feedback as somebody else's perspective And their truth rather than the truth capital t Each person has their own perspective And so what we said earlier take what's useful discard what's not so Anything I've said on this podcast Take what's useful discard what's not This is my perspective. Yeah Um And check in with yourself.

This is the third part check in with yourself. Does this feel true for me right now? And then how do I want to implement What I've heard that resonates with me that lands with me that feels good in my gut How do I want to implement that in my life pick one to three things? That say I know I can do this today that Feels achievable. I'm not picking the hundred year plan I'm not even picking the five-year plan pick something that you can do today or tomorrow Just notice one or two or three things And it could be as simple as hey, I'm going to Write down one thing.

I love about myself. I'm going to Notice where I might pause on a decision and just make one And it could be a low stakes decision I I used to go on these drives where it was I would just ask myself left or right And the point of the drive was to learn how to trust myself And so I would just go on these drives and I would just when I got to a crossroads right or left It didn't matter what the answer was but most of the time I wound up somewhere really cool Yeah, wound up at a park wound up at a field wound up at a taco truck. Sure. In fact, I had a friend do one I mentioned it to her a couple weeks ago and she's like jerry I did your your intuitive drive And I've had a taco stand and I'm like, well you did it, right? If it ends in a taco stand, you did it right.

I'm a big taco fan as well But I would definitely be there like yes tacos and today's tuesday. So what a perfect day to be talking about tacos Oh, yeah, it is taco tuesday. Yeah, so the recording today is a tuesday So when people listen to this on a thursday, just that next tuesday go find yourself at a taco stand We are giving you permission to trust yourself and go get tacos. That's right. It's always a good answer Appreciate you so much.

Thank you so much for the conversation today for Your willingness to share your story be vulnerable with us help to explore things be curious Asking questions I think there's so much that people can learn from The lion king from the things that you had to share with your coaching experience and how we can learn to trust ourselves Uh how we can learn to find a bit more happiness by doing that finding the love for ourselves And then we can show up better for other people as we do that. So thank you so much Of course. Thank you for having me right you got its pleasure As you leave this conversation Remember that yes the past can hurt and you can either run from it or you can learn from it So here's to learning and finding joy in the journey See you real soon