To this day, I still feel the remorse of, and I remember it like it was yesterday, yelling at my parents, like, I hate you. You're not my real parents. The biggest takeaway for me, I think, was I just wanted to look her in the eye, and I remember writing a poem about this. Being a kid, like a child, well before I turned 18, I wanted to be able to look her in the eye and hug the woman that had to hug me goodbye. And she says, no, Pinocchio, to make you prove yourself brave, truthful, and unselfish, and someday you will be a real boy.

He had to do it, and he had to prove himself to be brave, truthful, and unselfish. That was what the magic was going to be in him becoming that, because that's how he was going to be a real boy. I think we all have strings if we're willing to really look authentically and be a little vulnerable with ourselves. But my whole life has been this up and down, you know, cycle with it. And for the first time in a long time, I can say my insides match my outsides.

If you are not living a life that is truly fulfilling and is worthy of a fulfilling life, then do a different one. Like, just do a different one. Stop waiting. No one's going to save you. Do it for yourself.

Welcome to Yes And Land, where we say yes to the reality of yesterday and today. And we say and to the possibility, growth, and imagination of tomorrow. Well, welcome, everybody, to another episode of Yes And Land. We are very excited today for our guest. Our guest today is, man, she knows all things Disney.

And not just that. She actually co-hosts a podcast called The Wisdom of Walt with Dr. Disneyland himself. And she holds her own. And she is writing a book, which we will talk about.

We're so excited for when that ends up coming out and hits the shelves, hearing more about that. She also happens to be a teacher, a middle school teacher, bringing in bits of Disney into her classroom, inspiring her students. And we're really excited to where the conversation is going to go today. Today, our guests welcome Kristin Reinbold. Hi.

Thank you so much for having me. It is an honor and a privilege to be able to sit down and talk with somebody else that's like-minded, that just really appreciates not just Disney for the parks and for the entertainment, but for who the man was behind all of that. So thank you so much. Yeah, it's going to be really fun today. And one of the things that we'll dive into a little bit more is about those types of lessons and stuff that we can take, both from Walt himself and also the things that he did.

And today, we're going to take specifically a look at classic Disney movie, Pinocchio. If I'm not mistaken, 1940. Am I getting that right? Is that when that was done? Oh, this is why we need Dr.

Disney. He's the dates guy. Let's sing it is, and if it's not, drop it in the comments. Yeah, I think that's what it is. When my daughters and I were watching it on old Disney+, I think that's what I said.

And I was like, I didn't realize it was that long ago. I didn't realize it was that old, because I don't seem that old. But I'm like, well, OK, I guess, you know. I mean, I wasn't alive when it came out. But I definitely watched it as a child, watched it as a young lad.

And what's going to be fun today is we're going to talk a little bit about, probably makes a lot of sense, talk about Pinocchio, is kind of breaking free from the strings that might hold us down or keep us restricted. And we should have a fun conversation today about how we can do that. And again, take in some more lessons from Walt Disney himself. So, you know, Kristin, maybe take us back a little bit. What I always like to do is get to learn a little bit more about our guests and kind of where they're from, their personal stories.

So take us back, like, where did you grow up? So I was actually adopted as a baby. So I was born in Oregon and adopted. It was prearranged. So I wasn't able to meet my biological parents for safety reasons.

Adopted right as a baby. And then about two years old, my adopted family relocated us here to Las Vegas. And I'm now 42. I just turned 42 last week. So I've been here in Vegas for 40 of my 42 years of life.

My goodness. And I should say, unless I'm mistaken, I'm remembering correctly, your birthday is July 29. Because your birthday is July 29. That's my birthday. Hey, everybody.

Happy birthday, ever. We should get, like, tattoos now or something. Make it official. Leo. That's why we get along so well.

Yeah, we're Leos. We're like, I've been told. I've been told that we're cheater Leos, right? Because Leos are August, normally. But we're like the little bit of July that's a Leo.

So hey, you know what? I'm still Leo. They fixed that. Like, they changed it later. But like, when we were born in 84, it was considered Leo.

So dang it, I'm sticking to that. That's right. That's right. So we're so you've been in Vegas for a very long time. So what was life like growing up having been adopted?

Did you know you were adopted? Was that a conversation y'all had about being adopted? Or was there a point in time where your parents sat you down and said, hey, by the way, Kristin, you are adopted? Yeah. What a great question.

And that's one thing that I dive in quite heavily throughout the book that we'll touch more on later. My parents, and I'm going to start by saying this, and it took me a very long time to be able to really believe what I'm about to say. But my parents did the absolute best and made decisions according to the information they had at the time. What I mean by that is, to answer your question in short, I've always known I was adopted. It was never this dramatic sit down moment with the Netflix challenge that's going on right now on socials.

There wasn't the Netflix background music of like, we need to talk. I've always known. In fact, their exact vernacular for it was we got to pick you out special. And what was interesting about that is my biological, excuse my adopted parents, including my brother, who's not blood related, but was my parents that adopted me, their child, they all had dark brown eyes and dark brown or black hair. My brother is very tall, very thin, very athletic, went on to be a doctor.

I'm not built that same way. And so growing up, it was very difficult because while I felt special, because when you're told over and over, we got to pick you out special, you feel like, wow, OK. But then there's also another side of it where you don't have that identity to the very people that say I love you and call you theirs. And so there's this huge dichotomy of acceptance versus abandonment. And so I struggled big time with that.

We used to call it really big feelings, little body. I felt all of these confusing emotions. And back then, so I was born in 84, it wasn't really something a lot of people talked about. I didn't have any other friends that were adopted. So I didn't really have anyone to turn to talk to about these things.

And unfortunately, I spent a lot of my life, especially my teenage years, really battling and fighting back against my parents. To this day, and I'm just going to jump in and be raw here, but to this day, I still feel the remorse of, and I remember it was yesterday, yelling at my parents, I hate you. You're not my real parents. And being a mom now with two children, like the heaviness of that, knowing now what it feels like to carry a child physically, the idea of giving a child away even for a better life, like the gravity of that is just so profound. So yeah.

And I meant, we're going to talk about Pinocchio, but it always reminds me whenever I talk with people about the being adopted and thinking about like somebody giving you up. It always reminds me of Maui, right? Because Maui, in the story when he's explaining all these tattoos, the idea is that his parents threw him into the ocean to give him up. And he has to be saved and to be made a demigod so that he can survive. And that's why his whole life, he's just out for the praise of man because he's trying to have that sense of belonging and he matters.

Something in life matters for him because he was just cast out into the ocean. And so you're talking about that and just is reminding me like I can totally understand how those would be natural emotions that would come up like, oh, but I was abandoned. Yes, they chose me, but I was also abandoned. Yes, absolutely. And I think what made it even more difficult is I've been a writer since I came out.

I make a joke that like no sooner was I born, I had a pencil in my hand. And I remember writing journal after journal, these like elaborate stories about what my life was going to be like once I made it back home. And I dreamed up and I genuinely believed that my biological family was just waiting for me. They had to just get their stuff figured out for 18 years. But magically, after 18 years, they were going to have, and it sounds so silly to say, but I genuinely believed they were going to have a home on the cliffs of Oregon waiting for me.

There was going to be a fun setup for my college. I was going to be able to go back to Oregon State, which is where my dad graduated, my adopted dad. And I just literally, I would write poems about it and short stories. I even drew, and I'm a terrible artist. But I would even draw pictures of what that life looked like.

And it was just this longing. And I love that you mentioned Maui because I think that's what helped me fall in love with and resonate with Disney storytelling from such a young age is because it's the hero's journey, right? Over and over and over. Everyone is looking for something, whether it's a relationship or a sense of home, or a purpose, or their special power. You know, we're all seeking.

And I think I spent so much of my life seeking for something out there that was going to fulfill this gaping hole in me. And so it's been 42 years of just really discovering the truth in that and realizing that there is nothing out there that's going to fulfill that. It's an inner work that I have to do in myself. And once you find that, you find peace. And that's a lot, too, going back to the book.

A lot of kind of what the book is about. Did you ever end up connecting with your biological parents? Yeah, so again, I have to process this by saying my adopted parents, David and Linda, did a beautiful job and did the best that they could. But for much of my life, I was told that my biological father was killed in a logging accident. He was a lumber guy up in Oregon.

And I don't have the full story if that was told to them and they believed it or they shared that with me because they were just trying to protect me. But it ended up being he was not a guy that you would want to meet. Hey, before we keep going, I wanted to take a second and shout out another show I've been really into lately. It's called The Wisdom of Walt. Didn't expect to get hooked the way that I did, but here we are.

If you like what we do here, I think you'll really vibe with that one too. So go check it out. Yeah, no doubt. So you're kind of going through this struggle of being adopted and not feeling necessarily a part of your adopted family. Once you're 18, your parents make you this promise that you can go meet your biological mother.

Was she still in Oregon when you did that? Yeah, she was. She was right where we left her. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we'll just say on the coast of Oregon.

And yeah, that was surreal. The biggest takeaway for me, I think, was I just wanted to look her in the eye. And I remember writing a poem about this. Being a kid, like a child well before I turned 18, I wanted to be able to look her in the eye and hug the woman that had to hug me goodbye and to say thank you. And even at 18, I thought that I was ready for that interaction.

I thought, you know, and I've raised a 21-year-old, and my son is 15, and I teach middle schoolers for a living. Like, they definitely believe that once they're 18, they are adults and they know what they're doing. And I sure as heck did too. I was down at all ready. Quite frankly, I don't think I was ready until maybe 40, you know, until I really had done some living.

But it was unfortunate because remember that reality that I painted for myself through my writing and through my drawings and, you know, just the daydreams that I would have about what my life was going to look like. It was the complete opposite. The home was basically getting repossessed. They had an outhouse porta-potty in the front yard. They had asked me for money.

I was 18 years old. They had asked me for money to help pay for groceries. Just some really bizarre things. And so it was definitely a culture shock. And it was weird.

And I don't think I really made this connection until I'm saying it out loud to you right now, but I think there was this whole identity crisis in me because, again, I spent 18 years of my life believing something, feeling kind of this dichotomy of emotions, feeling pulled in two different directions, believing that something else is out there that's going to fix it for 18 years. And then 18 years later, you go to discover that what you thought was there was not at all what you had planned. I mean, isn't that life, right? And now what? Now the very thing that I thought that I was going to identify with and was going to be welcomed in, it is not it.

And I had to bail. Like, I left. I was supposed to be there two whole weeks with them. And I ended up leaving early because it was not the best, most safe situation for me. So it was hard.

It was really hard to come back from that. What were your emotions you experienced in the aftermath of that? So you go, you have that, you have to leave early because it's not a safe place for you to be. In one sense, I think this world that you had created kind of came crashing, the world that occurred in your mind had kind of come crashing down because it didn't really exist and wasn't going to exist. What was that like in the aftermath?

I think we just discovered something. Like, in real time, it makes perfect sense now. The aftermath of that for me was to jump in to things that made me feel accepted, welcomed, and loved. Now let me say that my parents did nothing but show me love, acceptance, and support. They were at all of my games.

They had me in every type of activity I could possibly be in. They were amazing servants of God in the church. And so loving and home cooked meals. And from the outside, people would look at me and be like, what do you mean? What more could you possibly want?

And I think that's what was so frustrating. My mom, I remember, would used to cry and say, we've done everything. We know you're still not happy. What else can we do? And not having the answer to that was so frustrating.

But coming back from that, the aftermath was, okay, I'm going to dive into very toxic, unhealthy relationships with men that I probably shouldn't be with because at least it's giving me a sense of belonging and they're not going to leave. So I thought. And I think that that kind of explains why I was so quick to jump into these relationships and then so quick to jump into marriage way too young more than once. So I think that that can all be, speaking of Pinocchio and strings, I think that can all be tethered back to my unrest and my unsettling relationship with my own adoption. It is interesting how things that happen for us at such a young age can carry through the things that we experience.

What do you think for you were the good things that came from that? Because in things that we experience, there can be obviously a lot of downsides, right? You're getting in a relationship too early. You're looking for that sense of belonging. You're looking for someone who's going to have you be theirs and choose you.

And that didn't work out because they weren't the right people. You were jumping in too quickly. Were there any things that you found that that did, that were good for you, that helped you, that gave you some extra thing that other people maybe didn't have without those experiences? Yeah, the two things that come to my mind are Brighton and David. Brighton is my daughter that came from my first marriage.

And that one, that was a very difficult one. That was probably that 18 years of having to co-parent with that particular person, he who should go unnamed, was the thing that almost killed me. And yet the most beautiful thing that helped me grow as a woman and as a mother and as a friend and as an empath was my daughter. And I know it sounds cliche, but she would not be the way that she is and why are the way that she is if it weren't for her father being in the picture. And so if that's the only good thing that came of it, I would do it all over again.

And then this thing could be said for my son, David. Yeah, raising a child with autism is very difficult. There's a lot of milestones that he will never achieve and we never got to experience as a family that a typical neurotypical family would be able to. And it was unfortunate that his dad and I and our relationship didn't work out. But we became two entirely different people.

And I say this with love and grace, but his dad stayed stuck, if that makes sense, and did not grow, did not evolve and stayed right where he was when I met him. And you can only stay for so long. And so again, David, I've been asked before, if there's a medication out there, if there's a pill or an injection that would take away his autism, would you do it? And I know a lot of people would say, yeah, but I don't think I could because everything that I know about David and everything that I'm able to love about him, I think as a direct result of his autism and his spirit and his gentleness. And so those are the two things that I realized, man, even in the dark times and in the storms and in the turbulence and in the self-doubt and in the courtrooms and the custody battles, like beautiful things can come from ashes.

And I'm now in a reflective place where I can see that. I'm so much removed from the darkness that I'm able to really see the light and what they brought. So yeah, and the other part of that too is I had to be a single mom for a while. And I raised two kids as a single mom and I had to go on welfare temporarily so that I can make ends meet and provide for the kids while I put myself through college. And so seeing me kind of go through this change of I need something else or somebody else to fulfill me and make me feel complete and to help me feel enough.

Well, time and time again, I was coming up empty. And so you could only do that for so long before my dad would say, cowgirl up. And so I did, I cowgirled up and I didn't wait for a hero. I didn't wait for a man to save me. I'm like, all right, let's do this.

And I did, and that's really freaking cool. And that's something I'm really proud of because both of my children were able to witness that. Like, okay, you want something bad enough, you're gonna do what it takes to get to get to that success. And so, yeah, I think there were some really good things that came out of it. And I think like, it's really important and thank you for asking because I think it's so easy for us to dwell on the negative and oh, what was me and it was so much of a dark time.

But man, there's two sides of it. What did that look like for you? Because I mean, obviously like divorce these days is way more common than it used to be, right? I do divorces all day every day and it happens a lot. I remember growing up, I had one friend that had divorced parents, one.

And we didn't really understand it at all. We're like, wait, your parents still live together? Like, we didn't get it, right? And now it's so common. And what I'm hearing from your story is that at some point in time, you realize like, I don't have to have somebody else.

I can have me. And then if I find somebody else that augments what I have, then great, but I don't have to have them. What did that look like for you? Because I think there's a lot of women especially that can learn from your experiences because it might be feeling like a lack of hope after going through a rough breakup or a tough marriage and feeling a little bit of despair about it. Sure, wow.

I think this goes hand in hand with something we haven't talked about yet. And that's some of the issues I had with like food addiction and like looking for things to soothe and to fill that hole again inside. And so when you are not intent, and I think sometimes we get confused by what that word means, at least for me, intent is being at peace with the situation and circumstances that are before you. And I think we live in a world that makes it difficult for us to be that way. We're very much in a consumer society.

I mean, if you looked at my credit card bill and how many times I order Amazon in a given week, like we constantly are needing things, right? And I use that word very loosely. In order for us to be content, I think we also have to be okay with the quiet and the reflection that we see in the mirror. And what I mean by that is who we really are, not our jobs, not our position in a relationship, not our position in a family, but who we are, our passions, our skill sets, our desires, all of those things. When you take time to get to know that, which Kristin didn't, you know, the old Kristin didn't for a very, very long time, I didn't slow down enough to get to know me, to grow me, to develop me, because I was so busy chasing after all these other things that when finally all of that fell away, I was really in a position where I had no other option.

And in that stillness, which is it takes courage, right? It takes guts and there's bravery there, right? To be okay with the silence. I think that's sometimes why people stay so busy and they can't just stop. Because once you stop and once you allow the silence, then you allow the reality of your environment and those thoughts to kind of come in and you have to kind of deal with some things.

I think the most beautiful relationship and the one thing that I can say to women, especially or anybody that might be going through this, is the most important relationship. And I'm not talking about God or anything religions, but I truly believe the most important relationship that you should take time, intentional time to build and harvest is the one with yourself. My dad called it his inner Indian and it was that still small voice, kind of like Jiminy Cricket, that would guide you, that would communicate with you if you're willing to listen. So many of us aren't willing to do that or we get scared or we stay busy or distracted. Because I think if you allow yourself to really lean into what that voice is saying, a lot of things become clear.

You start to realize who you are, what you stand for, your value systems, what you deserve, and you start to tolerate less of the things that don't serve you. And I think if we don't take the time to do that, we tend to fall into cycles or behaviors or relationships where we are consuming and experiencing things that we have no business that are below us, that aren't meant for us. And my food addiction got to a point, because it was a relationship with food, right? I think everything goes back to relationships and a lot of people don't believe it, but I was 250 pounds and I just recently, for a second time, lost over 100 pounds. But my whole life has been this up and down cycle with it.

And for the first time in a long time, I can say my insides match my outsides. And I like that now, because for a while, it was that same thing was true. My insides were junk and dark and chaos, and therefore, my exterior was the same. And so I think it goes back to that relationship with yourself, get that right first. And it's not about getting yourself ready to be the mate of somebody else.

I know some of the conditioning I had in church growing up was like that was my life's mission, was to be the best mate for somebody else. And I respectfully disagree. I think my life's purpose is to get in touch with this person here, love her well, and in a healthy manner, so that when I do meet somebody else that's at that same length, like you said, we can pair and become a good team at that point. Yeah, I think it's a really, actually, I think beautiful tie-in to Pinocchio. And as you were talking about that, I kept looking at this quote I've written down from it.

And this is the quote where I think it's the, I don't know what she is, she's a fairy, she's an angel, whatever she's, Blue Fairy, okay, that's what she is. And she's talking with Pinocchio about this wish that Geppetto had. And she says, no, Pinocchio, to make Geppetto's wish come true will be entirely up to you. Prove yourself brave, truthful, and unselfish, and someday you will be a real boy. And so it was him that had to do it.

It couldn't be because Geppetto wanted it for him. That couldn't, that wasn't gonna happen, right? He had to do it, and he had to prove himself to be brave, truthful, and unselfish. And that was what the magic was gonna be in him becoming that, because that's how he was gonna be a real boy. Well, and I love the foreshadowing in that, like watching it now as an adult, especially as an English teacher, I'm able to pick up on these things, these devices.

But the foreshadowing of it is by her saying that, it sets the stage for the adventures he's about to go on. So that was what he had to do, but in order for him to be able to prove himself, the story doesn't stop there. He has to actually go through some of these darker times and these trials and tribulations to be able to prove himself of those things. And the only way you're able to really show your true colors and show what you're made of in your innermost character is by going through the fire and going through that process of difficult times and dark times, and I think that's where a lot of people stop. There's a whole other side of that story.

If you're not willing to go through those things and to learn those important, valuable lessons along the way, then you don't really allow yourself the opportunity to bring that to fruition. And I love that you pointed out that it wasn't somebody else that could do it for him, which is ironic because Geppetto was the one that wished for him, and essentially he's the one that crafted him with his own hands. So by definition, you would think that he would be the one that could do all of those things for Pinocchio, but just like with Dumbo and the feather, like it ultimately came down to him and what's inside of him, which again, all the more reason proves why we have to be willing to do the inside work, no matter what that takes, to be able to get that external outside result. And I think what you're saying is actually a really important lesson, I think sometimes is misunderstood with Pinocchio specifically and the song, right? A Dream which your heart makes, and this idea that like, oh, if you just wish for something that comes true, and people will sometimes criticize that idea of like, well, you can't just wish.

But I think the lesson here is that you're not. Like, that's how it starts. You've got to start with, that is the dream that you have, that's the wish you have. And now what does it take to do it? It takes work to do it.

It takes going through these hard experiences, learning what it is to lie and have your nose grow, or go become a donkey in Fantasy Island or whatever the weird place was that he had to go. Right, the acid trip. Right, so he had to go through those things so he could become it. So the wish starts it. And I do think it's important to dream.

I do think it's important to wish. And then you've got to do the work for it. It doesn't just happen for you. I think that's something that sometimes gets lost, that no, like this story is really about doing something. I agree, and I think that we have to be careful because I knew I fell for it.

Back in the day, we would push in our VHS tape, crack open our clamshell case and push it in, and I'd have to rewind it to watch it over and over again. But you figure a classic Disney film is about 80 minutes, maybe a little bit longer, 120 if you're pushing it. But in that time span, you go through the whole journey. You go through the whole hero's journey and they live happily ever after. And man, that looks pretty good.

And you watch that over and over and over. And I think we kind of take for granted the real work that goes on. Like that's just a snippet, or a highlight reel, if you will, of what our own journeys are. And I think I was kind of blindsided by, oh, wait, yeah, the happily ever after is out there, but oh, Lord, does it look different than my 80-minute VHS tape conditioned me to believe for a while? Yeah, and that was kind of a hard pill to swallow.

Yeah, yeah, it's sometimes we'll romanticize it from those shows, right? And just pay attention to the happily ever after and not really pay attention that this is just emblematic of the full arc that it needs to be and how long that journey sometimes will take of those little detours, right? Like, oh, it's not a five-minute detour in life. Sometimes it's a five-year detour. Sometimes it was, for me, a nine-year marriage that ended in divorce, right?

Sometimes that's what it is. It's this long thing that doesn't just happen overnight. So one of the things I want to get your thoughts on here, because it's this interesting idea of authenticity, being who you are versus also growing, right? Having growth, not being fixed. I think you mentioned it with your second husband that what he was, he just always stayed there.

He never grew. He never did any work. So here's a quote from Brene Brown, who we adore, and it says, true belonging doesn't require you to change who you are. It requires you to be who you are. So with that being the case, like, if we're going to belong, it needs to be belonging in who we actually are.

How do you resolve that with the idea, too, that we should have a growth mindset, that we should grow and improve and become better? That's an amazing question. And what's funny is the more that we explore these ideas, almost all of them go back to a chapter in my book. I have a chapter called Chameleon Kristin. And I knew when I was a little girl that I was going to one day write something about Chameleon Kristin, because I could recognize from a young age my adaptability, because I was so hungry for acceptance and I was so on this mission to find fulfillment and belonging that I was darn near ready to do just about anything to get there.

And there was just a constant evolving to meet the needs of the people around me. And I had no self-esteem. I had no boundaries, no barometer for my own self-worth. And unfortunately, that got me into a lot of very interesting predicaments, which was very easy to do growing up in Las Vegas, and we'll just leave it at that. But going back to your question, how do you resolve that by also keeping that growth mindset?

I think it goes back to knowing your value, what you will stand for, what your worth genuinely is. The more you're able to readily recognize that, the more you're able to say no, thank you to everything else around you that does not fall in line with that. Now, I believe wholeheartedly, because I've done it over the past couple of years, especially in this deep dive of finally writing my first memoir, is you are able to hold tight to that when you're ready, while also learning from other people that can bring additional value or different belief systems to the table. And that also goes along with being okay with disagreeing. I've had a lot of very uncomfortable conversations with people that are themed entertainment executives.

I will not name which type of themed entertainment, but I think you might know what they are. A lot of people that I look up to that I just don't see eye to eye, or we don't have the same belief system and value system that I knew would keep us from being able to work together. And that's a tricky one, right? Because now you're talking like, there's a financial tie to it, there's a business side to it, and I would be walking away from really amazing opportunities and clout and income, but yet because I've done the work for a long time and to really ground myself in who I am and what I stand for, I'm less likely to change to meet that person's need because I know that that's no longer gonna serve me because I'm okay with who I am over here. And again, that sounds a lot easier said than done, but the only way you're able to go about doing that is daily intentional investment in yourself.

Now, I don't know if you know of or if you're a fan of Dr. Joe Dispenza. Have you ever heard of him by chance? Yeah, yeah. Okay, yeah.

So a lot of people are kind of like, ooh, that's frou-frou, but taking ownership of your own thought process and how you see yourself and rebuilding, you build a new reality by building a new personality and it's okay to change so long as you're changing for the better to become a better version of yourself. I think that's well said. I think it's well said because who we are at our core, we have kind of who we are and what our values are and the way that we behave becomes a manifestation of what we truly value in life. And if what we're doing is we're growing into the best version of ourselves, that's who we are, right? So we can still grow because it's just what is the best version of who I am, right?

Like, you know, it's interesting you mentioned Chameleon. I don't know if you are an Enneagram person at all. Do you follow Enneagram personality test? So I am and I am a number three, okay? So for anybody who doesn't know what that means, basically it means that number three, they call it the entertainer, and number three can wear a lot of hats.

And so it's this double-edged sword of a number three because you can easily adapt to situations and be a Chameleon to assimilate into a situation to hopefully, you know, make other people feel comfortable or to, you know, adapt to a new audience or a new group of people, right? To help them be comfortable, help you be comfortable. And it can also do the opposite. It can mean that you're phony and that you're fake and that you aren't authentically yourself. You're just changing to what the expectation is of you in that moment and what you think they want.

And that can be really negative. And so I have these two versions of me, right? If I'm authentically myself, it's gonna be the version that can assimilate in for the benefit of others, that can help others feel comfortable. It's more outward-facing. And if it's not, then it's really just inward-facing and it's to serve me so that I'm not uncomfortable, right?

So I can fit in and people will like me, right? And so the growth mentality pushes me to the better version and the version that's not authentically me pushes me to the bad version. So I like your description of it being, we can still grow being who we truly are. Right, yeah, I think it's having a sense of grounding while also kind of like Walt Disney, right? He always had one foot in the past while he was always looking to the future.

And I think you could only do that with time and wisdom and maturity. And as you're describing me in number three, I did that test forever ago, but it wouldn't surprise me if I'm the same one. And I think that's what makes people like us really good. And I say that with humility, authentic humility, really good at our craft. Because I can walk into a classroom in a given day and teach 120 teenagers that all come at me with different needs, IEPs, disabilities, emotional distraught, like you name it, right?

And in that moment, I have to be able to read the room and tap in to make sure everyone's needs are met while also teaching them state curriculum. And if you're not wired that way to kind of be that chameleon and turn it on, turn it off and pivot, you're gonna get eaten alive. And I think, correct me if I'm wrong, but I can only assume that that skill, and I'm gonna call it a superpower, is what you probably have to use as you represent so many different people in the court of law. Even when you walk into a courtroom, you may or may not have the same judge or the same other opposing counsel. And you've got to be able to pick up on that and their nuances and know how to pivot and position yourself to win that case.

So I think that's something. Yeah, we've got to master it. Yeah, when I meet with people in an initial consultation and I've never met them before, I have to be able to pick up on what they're feeling in that moment, what their emotions are, and trying to match it, because I can't go in with my normal happy-go-lucky attitude with someone who is, yeah, right, who's really feeling the weight and the emotions of it. I have to read it, and then I have to bring it down to their level, still authentically me, right? But bring it to their level so that I can engage in that conversation in a way that they can hear and we can have good communication.

So you're right. It's a skill that can definitely be beneficial when you're dealing with those kinds of situations. So I have... Yeah, go ahead, go ahead. Let me just say really quick, the other side of that too, which is a double-edged sword and has been a detriment, is when you're able to pick up on the emotions and nuances of others and then cater to them, that is extremely taxing and draining, and you start to feel the weight of the world, right?

A lot of times the term, I think, is empath, where because you're able to do that so well all day long, things affect you a lot more than it would your average bear. And so there's been an art to learning how to separate myself from that too. It kind of goes back to how do you stay a chameleon with a group... Stay rooted and grounded while also adapting and growing. I think you have to stay disconnected emotionally enough so that you can preserve yourself and have appropriate boundaries while also still caring with a whole heart.

I wish I knew the complete recipe to that. But that also, in addition to everything else, takes practice. It takes you doing the work and the daily, the intentional practice of that to master it. It's a thing that I've talked about a couple of times on this podcast before, but I learned it from Adam Grant and Brene Brown, where they talk about the difference between empathy and enmeshment. That empathy is good, you want to empathize, but when it then becomes enmeshment and you're enmeshed in the emotions with that person, that's where it becomes problematic.

That's where you have the negative impact on you because you've crossed over into enmeshment. And that's hard. I mean, I'm sure you're teaching these kids and you're trying to inspire them to learn. And yet some of them are probably really hard situations. Some of them probably have terrible home situations and terrible examples.

And it would be really easy for you just to be worried about these poor kids all the time at home on the weekends. What's been the key for you to be able to have empathy in the moment for them, but not get enmeshed in those emotions? Take them on as your own and take them home. What's been the key for you? Oh, my gosh.

The key to that is a few years of not doing it the right way. A few years of wearing it so much and literally like a cloak that I would then bring home. That I, you know, I hit burnout head on. And so I learned really quick, if I want to do this for the long haul, which I do, I got to go about it differently. And how I approach it now is that when I show up, these students know that I give them 110% while they are in my control, while they are in my scope and sphere of influence.

But I've had to realize as a parent and as an educator, my impact and legacy can only go so far. I cannot undo 15 years of parenting. I just can't. I could be the teacher of the year every year all dagum day, but I cannot undo X, Y, and Z, nor can I change what they go home to. But what I can control and what I make sure I do well is that when they step in my classroom, they know that they are valued, that they matter, that they are loved, and I tell them that from day one, it makes them all uncomfortable and I love it.

I look them each in the eye and I say, I love you. And I just let them sit with that for a second. Like, I love who you are. I love that you're in my class. I love that you have a story that I don't know yet.

And I love that I have a year with you to get to know that story. And then I just keep showing up and I remain consistent. But then I also know that when I check out, which is right at that bell when it's time to go, because I used to stay hours late and work on the weekends, but that didn't serve me, right? Like that, me showing up on an empty tank because I gave too much doesn't serve anybody. It doesn't serve my students on Monday, and it sure as heck doesn't serve my family or myself.

So now I know that once I'm able to turn that off and I hop in that car, it takes practice. You just gotta drop it and say, okay, that door's closed for a little bit. Now I get to go and be 110% for my family. Because my son and my own children and my husband need me just as much if not more as my students do. And I need myself too.

There's times where I've had to learn to say, I love y'all, but mama needs a minute. I just need some quiet. And so I intentionally started to get up at four o'clock in the morning because I knew, and I'm not a morning person, but it took practice. I knew that in order for me to check all the boxes, I've gotta invest in me first, right? Like my oxygen mask first, then I can help treat everybody else the rest of the day.

And that's been a huge game changer. Quite frankly, Ryan, that's how I was able to write an entire book in less than a year, is because I had to intentionally carve that time out and invest in me going back to that relationship early on. I think what you're highlighting really effectively is why boundaries are important. And I think I've really struggled a lot with the way that people use boundaries in recent years, because I think too many times people are using it as a weapon to break down or cast off somebody or use it to slash somebody else, right? And in reality, at least in so far as I understand it and the way that I connect with it, is the boundary is about building better relationships.

And so you can have a better relationship with your students if you have the boundary of the things at school, stay at school, because now I can be a better version of myself. And my boundary is now I'm at home, and my boundary is now I get to be at home. So my relationship with my family is better because I have that boundary in place. And so it's about building those relationships as opposed to just excluding or being unkind to somebody else because I've got some boundary. And it's more about my behavior than it's about their behavior.

Absolutely. I think that's a beautiful thing to point out. And I think the better you get at boundaries, which takes a while, because when you start, especially when you don't have any or you have very loose boundaries and you really start working on that and you implement them in your relationships and in your work life, it ticks off a lot of people because it makes them uncomfortable nine times out of 10 because they don't have appropriate healthy boundaries. So Jeff actually just told me this week a great quote, and I was like, that's genius. He's like, if people are upset when you start to enforce your boundaries, it's because it's working.

I was like, oh, because we don't want to upset people. We don't like to make waves. But that is a total sign that, okay, the boundary is actually working. If it's making you uncomfortable, that's not my intention. And I certainly don't derive joy from that.

But sometimes people have to feel uncomfortable for a little bit to change behavior. That's how behavior modification works, at least in the world of- And if they care about you and if they want to have a relationship with you, then they'll understand what that boundary is and respect it. And then it can enhance the relationship. But they have to. Yeah, yeah, for sure.

So, okay, one of the things I wanted to circle back to a little bit was what's at the kind of heart of any time that we have addiction. You've talked about it a little bit and you've had some of those experiences. And one of the quotes that I have here, and I actually don't even know who it is. I just found it that his name is Gabor Maté, and I don't know who he is, but wrote a book called In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts. And just the quote was good, I thought, and it said, a hurt is at the center of all addictive behaviors.

And so for you, what did it look like to finally identify what that hurt was and how did identifying the hurt help you to ultimately overcome the addictive behavior? Ryan, I am so glad that you're recording this because you can't make this stuff up. I'm sure you've heard of the term serendipity, serendipitous events, things that happen that you just cannot orchestrate or plan no matter how hard you try. And before you started reading that quote, which first of all, just so the world knows, I did not know what quote you were gonna read. I did not know what your question was going to be.

But before you started to mention that, I'm over here thinking, just met a cognitive here. I really hope that what I'm about to say is gonna land well with your audience because I think it's gonna ruffle a lot of feathers because it's not something that's talked about enough in terms of addiction. And what I mean by that is, I do not believe I ever had an alcohol problem. I don't believe I ever had a food problem. Did I end up checking myself into a rehab in Ogden, Utah for 30 days?

I sure did. And hats off to Brighton Recovery Center. You all were a game changer for me. Alcohol was never the problem. And I think there's gonna be people out there that are gonna get very angry by that because they're gonna say, well, you know, you have a chemical dependency and you can actually have a physical addiction to something.

Yeah, I'm not negating the science on that. But it's a relationship problem. It is a relationship problem with myself. It was me not recognizing how to go about, number one, articulating what the true open wound was in me the entire time. And if I don't know what something is, like if you were to go to the doctor and you don't know what you have, how in the world are you gonna start treating it?

What you're gonna do is like, okay, well, let's try this. Let's try this ointment. Let's try this pill. Let's try, okay, that's not working. What if I double this up?

What if I combine this, this and this and make a concoction? Maybe that'll work. So you're just chasing your tail, right? And so again, going back to my book, and I swear it's not to self plug, but like I talked very openly about like, the chemical addiction was never the issue for me. It was when you don't love yourself, when you don't take the time to really repair what's going on.

And for me, a lot of it was internal. It wasn't even stuff going on elsewhere. I think the straw that broke the camel's back, at least in my story was I lost my dad four weeks after we found out he had cancer and he died on Christmas Eve as I was supposed to be graduating college and he was supposed to walk me down the aisle and he died two weeks later. And that shook me and shook me hard. And that, it wasn't dad's death that caused the addiction.

It was, I had so much other layers of un dealt with, unhealed wounds that I had spent a lifetime improperly medicating through poor relationships or food or substance, you name it, that by the time dad died, like the damage was already done. Right, that just kind of pushed me over the edge. And so again, I say that with a soft heart and I say that to anybody that is really struggling with like the chemical dependency of it. I think there might be a lot more going on with it. I definitely think it goes back to a relationship issue and taking the time to heal and mend and to grow and to work through and I'm gonna use that work in all capitals because that's what it is.

It is a daily work and investment. But when you get yourself to a healthy place, mentally and emotionally, you start to really be aware of the things that you do to your body and how you treat your body because it's a love relationship. Before we jump back in, can I ask you a quick favor? If you're enjoying the journey so far, will you like rate and subscribe to our show? It helps us reach more people like you.

We can design and create and build the most wonderful place in the world, but it takes people to make the dream a reality. How do you see yourself differently now that you've gone through that work than you did going through that death of your father, going through the addiction and going to rehab? I see myself now as someone that is rooted in contentment and peace and has become really good friends with quiet. And if you knew me years ago, you would say that's a stark contrast to all of the adjectives that you use to describe me. Old Kristin was loud and chaotic and was nonstop in zero to 60 in 2.5 seconds and chasing the next thrill and drop of the hat and spontaneity and all of that sounds like fun.

It sounds like the life of the party. And quite frankly, I was. But when you're rocking at a 10 nonstop, right? Like you can't sustain that for very long. I used to feel like I had to walk in the room and be the first person to talk and to laugh the loudest and to get everyone's approval.

And now I did it today. And I was thinking about this. I was just having a moment of reflection in a staff meeting today. And I think I spoke less today than anybody on campus. And it wasn't that I didn't have anything to say.

It's like, I just don't need to because I'm becoming more aware of who I am, what defines me, what my value systems are. And I don't have to compete with anything else. And there's a solid sense of, for lack of a better word, of I'm okay. I'm okay, I'm enough, I'm good. There's nothing else out there for me that I need to add to it.

And that's a really cool place to be for someone that wasn't able to be there for a very long time. Yeah, I think that's really important. It's a really important distinction. And it's hard to get there for people. It's hard to get to that point because we, I think a lot of people might hear and be like, oh yeah, of course, yeah, yeah, yeah, of course.

And yet no real mechanism for them to get there and how you actually connect the dots to do it. Because the only way to do it is to go through it. You just have to, you have to do the work, you have to go through it. Yeah, and to actually prescribe what I did, to be completely honest with you, going back to Joe Dispenza, and I don't get paid to say any of this just for the record. In fact, Dr.

Jeffrey Barnes, who's been a huge mentor of mine and a writing coach, he's been just instrumental in my growth, was this idea of taking at least 15 minutes every single day in complete silence. And when he first asked me to do that, I literally laughed and I was like, that's funny. Like, who does that? And he goes, if you can't do 15 minutes, how about five minutes? And so I legit started less than a year ago at five minutes every day, 4 a.m.

And I just sat that quiet. And then I started listening to like the Joe Dispenza meditations and the mindfulness and that kind of stuff. And then before you knew it, I was sitting in silence for 45 minutes. And it's amazing what transformative outcomes can happen with just shutting up. We don't like to be quiet.

We are all little narcissists. We love to hear ourselves talk, right? We always got something to say. And our world is so loud. We live in such a loud environment of social media and the news.

And we just always have to be consumed with information. But when you remove all of that and you get back to listening to, again, what my dad calls his inner Indian or your Jiminy Cricket, and you just listen to self, get okay with just sitting with yourself. And if you have to practice that every single day, just a little bit to get to that next level, do it. Because just like with working out, what once was the hardest workout of my life is now my warmup. And before you know it, you're progressing and you're doing things that you never thought possible, which if anyone's known me for any length of time, they're gonna think, Kristin, sitting silently in a room full of people, that's impossible.

Miracles do happen. Miracles do happen. We do grow, right? We can grow and still be authentically you, but just understand context and understand what's needed from you in that moment and what you don't need. Because I think to some degree, it's interesting.

You talk about some of the things you're experiencing or have experienced in the past was wanna be the center of attention. Girl, I have been plagued with that my whole life. There's a reason why I liked theater. There's a reason why when I wanna be an attorney, I wanna be in the courtroom. Look at me, I'm gonna do this amazing song and dance and everyone's gonna think I'm so smart and so funny and so clever.

And I was just searching for that for so long. And it is this idea of once we can become content that we don't have to do a search for that all the time, I think we bring a lot more to the table. And so when I do speak up if I'm doing something, hopefully I'm bringing something well thought out and more meaningful to the table rather than just to hear myself talk because I will admit I did that in the past. I'm guilty, totally guilty of doing that in the past. It's hard.

I love that you admit that because I don't know, unfortunately I do know a few attorneys, but I don't know a lot of attorneys that would be able to say that. I think that that shows tremendous growth and maturity on your part. And hopefully others can be encouraged by that because there's something to be said about it. I think the coolest thing is when you have a superpower, like being a chameleon or being able to step on stage or in a courtroom or in a classroom and just command an audience naturally and be able to do it through words, through writing. I think the coolest thing though is not necessarily being able to use it.

It's not what you say, but it's knowing when to shut up and how to intentionally position your silence. That's a superpower. And that's really, really cool when you figured that out. Yeah, totally agree there. So one other thing I want to ask you about as I'm kind of hearing this stuff is I want to take you on a little bit of a thought journey if we can.

So I'm a big Simon Sinek fan. I just love his work. And I'm gonna do something he sometimes does. He used to do it more on his podcast. He doesn't do it as much now, but I want to give it a try with you.

Run through for me what your happiest childhood memory is and not just any memory, a specific one. One that you could relive with me right now where you know the details and you felt the absolute happiest as a child. Yeah, that's an easy one. We had a family cabin on the little North Fork of the Santiam River up outside of Salem, Oregon. And as a little kid, we would, you know, coming from the city, anything with trees and anything that wasn't brown and dirt and hot was like, ooh, fancy.

I loved it. It's the rare time that I got to see all of my family and my relatives and my cousins. And it was like, it didn't matter how many months went by before we saw each other beforehand. And we just picked up right where we left off and it was a cool path that went down to a river. And my dad showed me like where the crawfish were and, you know, we were inner tubing.

And it was just, it was heaven. It was just heaven. I love that so much. What was it about that occasion, going to this cabin, having family and cousins there that's different than any other time you would get together with family and enjoy their company? Why specifically there and why specifically that gathering?

I think it was because it was such a stark contrast to what I experienced back home. Now, again, I had a beautiful, loving home life. We had a beautiful home. We were well blessed with multiple vehicles. My parents had good jobs.

But it was just me, my mom and dad and my brother. And we didn't have a big family in Vegas because everybody else actually stayed back up in Oregon. And so I think there was so many things that were novel for me. You take just the environment, right? You go from Las Vegas, Nevada, the Salem, Oregon up in the mountains.

Couldn't be more different. And so it was like, oh, this is new. This is beautiful. It's cooler temperatures, the smell of the trees, the wild animals, you know, rivers running freely. And it was just beautiful and majestic.

And then now I'm surrounded by cousins that are similar in age and all of this family. Everywhere you look is family. And we have a lot of musicians in the family that would just sit down and play either the guitar or the piano. And it's like, wow, I never get any of this back at home. And so for me, I think there was the novelty of it.

OK, I love this. I think it goes back to the sense of belonging too, right? Like being surrounded by even more family. That was a great, great feeling. Which is perfect.

That's an excellent description of it. And I love that. So now take me to a time in your professional career, any time in your professional career, where you were the most proud of the work that you did. And a specific occasion, again, a very specific one, not a general, but one specific time. I just got goosebumps because it just happened at the end of last year.

So at the end of last year was the first time I got to watch my eighth graders graduate at the promotion ceremony. Because prior to that, I wasn't at that campus long enough to see them go from sixth grade to eighth grade. So now I was able to see, if I call them my babies, these young kiddos that I got to invest in for three years in a row. I got to watch them walk across the stage. And while I was so proud of that, the single most important proud moment was twofold.

I got to hand select some of the students that read their final speech. And I watched some of these students that had an IEP, which means they have some sort of learning disability and they needed extra support, that came into my classroom a year beforehand. Super insecure, self-doubt, full of anxiety, now they're standing on stage in front of hundreds of people reading their own authentic story. That made me so incredibly proud to be followed up by right after that, there was literally a line that wrapped around the lockers outside of parents with their students in line just to come talk to me and hug me and to take a picture with me. And parents were crying.

And they were running out of things to say in terms of like, thank you just so much for what you've done for our child. Like you've made a lifelong impact. And that was, I think, the first time that I really felt like you're being used and served and like you're right where you need to be. So stay with that. That was cool.

So I'm going to try to get emotional. No, it's good. It's actually really lovely. If I can, I would suggest there's a through line there, that what you experienced as a child became what you're creating for these students, that you're creating something that is new and novel, that gives them a greater sense of belonging and who they are in this really beautiful way, that that's what you've done for them. And so it's this thing that Simon's in, that he talks about, that when you find a why or purpose in life, it hearkens back to when you were a kid.

And then it doesn't really change. And when you do things you're really proud of, there's a through line there. It's always going to be in the service of others, first off. A purpose always will be. And it's in doing that thing that is core to who you are.

And to me, that's this beautiful thing you've created for these students. It's this beautiful cabin in this beautiful place with beautiful people around them that embrace them and love them. And it's magical. It's magical. What a gift that is for you to point that out.

And I think you're spot on. Because when I look at these students, especially those that struggle, I have a background in special education, which I got my degree in because of my son with autism. And so I look at every single one of these kids. And I genuinely try to be the teacher that I always needed but never had. I try to see them and see their hurts and see their shortcomings.

And I see the invisible weights that they're carrying. And I try so hard to be intentional about being part of the solution to that to help lighten their load so that when they leave my room, they feel seen and they feel valued. Because gosh, especially nowadays, our kids are carrying stuff so much heavier than we ever did. And so if I had to go through all of what I did through my adoption, let's take it back to even the adoption. If that orchestrated event had to occur so that I went through those years of longing and searching and hunting and brokenness so that I could then be a vessel for these students, just like the divorce and my daughter and my son, I'd do it all over again in a heartbeat.

Because I think that's why I'm able to be effective. And I think the same might be true for you and what you're able to do in family law. There's a need there for you to help serve others, probably tied back to something from your childhood. Oh, I'm sure. I'm sure there's no doubt.

That's the way that it does work. And that's why we just have the opportunities to do so much good for so many other people. And when we will tap into that and become the best version of ourselves, it gives us such a great opportunity. One of the things that I wrote down as well from a book by Adam Grant is he said the most meaningful way to succeed is to help others succeed. And one of the things you're doing in both your career as a teacher is you're doing that.

And then I think my take is as you write this book, that what you're doing is you're multiplying it. You're taking it to an even greater audience. And multiplying the impact that you can have by sharing what your story is to help others going through a hard time, to help others be inspired from the things that you're doing for greater reach, which I think is a really beautiful thing. Yeah. Thanks for that.

And that's really the heart of it. It's not self-serving. It's funny. Being Leo's number three, that's what we're going to call ourselves now. I didn't write it, and it's not sitting here in front of me as evidence of my value.

But it's a reminder of my purpose. I think it's a reminder that there are so many other people out there that are dealing with adoption. Maybe they are looking to adopt, or they have been adopted, or they have adopted, but they don't know whether or not they should tell their child. There's all the things, right? So everything from adoption to addiction to autism to all of it, we are not in a silo.

We are a community on this planet. And if we can live a life and do things with our talents and our skill sets that help leave the world better than we found it and help others, even if it's just one person that picks up my book, and if just one person says, man, that chapter that you wrote about losing your dad and what happened to you after that, like, thank you for that because I felt so alone, then it was worth it. It was all worth it. Yeah. And it will.

It'll have that impact when it comes out, when people get to read it. Are you going to do an audio book of your book? Yes, I am. And you're going to read it, right? I'm reading it.

I'm reading my own. I got so mad at Jeffrey Barnes because he didn't read his own. And I'm like, who is this guy? Like, I want, here's what I want you to feel. And I keep going back to this.

I wrote the book with this intention every day. I want the reader and the listener to feel as though they are sitting next to me on our bench on Main Street with a cup of coffee. And they're just getting to know an old friend. And I want them to not learn. I don't want the focus to be, you need to learn as much as you possibly can about me.

But I hope in me sharing my story, you start to uncover a different perspective of you and your life. And when you leave, you leave changed. That's my hope for a forced perspective. Yeah, I love that. It's fantastic.

Before we move to our This or That segment, and then after we do that, we'll do this or that. We'll do a rapid fire. And then we'll get your three actionable takeaways at the end. But before we get there, anything that I missed in either your story that you wanted to share or from Pinocchio? I love going through the attraction of Pinocchio now as an adult.

Because as I go through, I'm looking at it through the lens of not just seeing Pinocchio, but I see a little boy with a little wooden boy that finds his way through some creative and difficult circumstances. But I see little Kristin. I see little Kristin running and searching and looking, running off to Pleasure Island and experimenting with things, thinking that that's going to be the answer. And getting stuck and getting trapped. And when that cage comes down, it's like, yeah, that was the cage that I put myself in because I had so many open wounds that I didn't quite know how to heal.

And so when I ride that attraction, so when I go through the attraction now, it's like being able to step back and watch the growth cycle through my own personal journey. And it's beautiful. So the strings now, I don't look necessarily at strings. And Pinocchio strings is tangible strings, per se. I think we all have strings if we're willing to really look authentically and be a little vulnerable with ourselves.

Maybe a string is what your parents told you on repeat when you were a little kid. Maybe you grew up believing that you weren't good enough or you're never going to amount to anything. Maybe a string is an abusive relationship or a habit that you got yourself hooked on. Or negative self-talk, that personal narrative that you create for yourself can be a string, too. The belief that you're too old to pursue your dream.

You look hard enough, and we've got strings out the wazoo that will keep us bound from pursuing our true passions and our dream. And so once I started to recognize what my own strings were in my life, then came the work, right? Then came the active work of trimming those strings and breaking free from them so that I can be healthy and 42 and a full-time teacher and a full-time author and a podcast co-host and a mom of a child with special needs. I can do all those things now because I'm not bound to the junk that's holding me back. And I hope that other people will be encouraged by that enough to where they can start doing the same thing in their own life.

Besides this podcast, I actually own a law firm, RCG Law Group. And I'll be honest, most people think only about calling a lawyer when something has gone sideways already. We'd rather you know who we are before that happens. So if you ever need us, we're right here. Yeah, break free from those strings for sure.

Because there are so many invisible strings that do hold us back. And sometimes we don't even realize it. Sometimes we've suppressed it. And sometimes we put it off and didn't want to acknowledge it because we don't want to deal with it. But yeah, realizing those things are there and breaking free can really lead to a lot of joy and a lot of opportunity.

I love that. Fantastic way to wrap up Pinocchio. OK, are you ready for some this or that, Kristin? I think I am. I don't know.

Let's do it. If you've got some controversy opinions, I will not be shy in calling it out. All right? Like I will disagree with you if need be. All right.

We'll see. So OK, first one. Jiminy Cricket or Blue Fairy? Jiminy Cricket. I love Jiminy.

Oh, I just love him. The whole idea of him, and you tied it in really beautifully too about listening to Jiminy Cricket, being quiet so you can hear it. Yeah, definitely a good answer there. Let's see. Road trip or flying?

Flying. Yeah. Do you like road trips? Are you a road tripper? I am, but I like to get places fast now.

Like I'm antsy. I'm like the little kid. Even though I have to do all the driving, fun fact, Kristin Reinbold has habitual motion sickness. And I get car sick no matter what. Doesn't matter where I sit, how much AC is on me.

So I always have to do the driving, which means whenever we go on vacations that require driving, I'm the one exhausted because I did all the driving. And so now, fly me so I can sit. My husband and I can hang out. Audiobook, done. And peanuts or some sort of snack.

Yeah, you got to have something to snack. Do you, can you go on boats? Like, can you do a cruise? Dude, Ryan, I just did my very first cruise this summer. And?

I got those bands that like does a vibration pulse thing. It was like 120 bucks on Amazon. But it was a game changer. I didn't get sick at all with that sucker. Yeah.

What was the cruise? I get motion sickness on rides at Disneyland. There's some things that I can't do unless I've got my band or I take medicine in advance. Yeah. What cruise did you go on?

I did Royal Caribbean down to Mexico. OK, that's a popular one. I'm not a cruise person. I'm not a cruise person. I'm just going to put that out there.

Disney Cruise movie. Yeah, I'm not a cruise person at all. It's not my favorite thing. No, I don't want to be on a boat with a bunch of strangers. No dice.

Oh, I hear you. OK, how about a library or bookstore? Bookstore, especially if it's a used vintage bookstore. Oh, you like the used vintage ones, huh? Are you a cat-eater?

In fact, I designed my entire classroom is that way. Like literally, the whole classroom is like you walk into a vintage bookstore on Main Street. Like it's I love that all day long. Give me brick. Give me smelly old books.

Oh. Oh, you love the better. OK, so how about I'm just going to throw a curveball in here for what I didn't have written down. Physical book or Kindle? Oh, look at this beauty.

20,000 Leagues Under the Sea. See how old it is? It's falling apart. Wow. You can't get this experience on a Kindle.

I wish you could smell this right now. Always physical books. Always. But do you ever do audio books? Well, OK, I can't say always.

That's why it's hard. I know. OK, well, when I'm driving, I can't be smelling old vintage books. So I got to do the audio book. I like to collect old books and books of value and meaning.

I have a lovely signed copies from some amazing artists, Tim O'Day, Martha Blanding, and some others, Becky Klein. So like those that have nostalgic meaning through the Disney company, yes. Give me hard book all day long. I just give them all to me. I'll put the old one on a shelf.

I'll be old. Yeah, I love it. I love it. I'm such an audio book guy. And for me, it's because I found that I won't make the time to sit down and physically read through.

And if I do audio book, though, I'll consume way more. Do I pay as close attention? No. Like, it's true that I don't. Like, I will admit it.

But then I do it. Then I read 30 books a year or more, right? Because I'll do audio book. Yeah. Oh, 100%.

Same way. Like, I love that. I think that's the ADHD in us. You know, I can go get my workout in, listen to an audio book, or I can drive, or I can clean house. Absolutely.

Yeah. Yeah, I love it. OK. Chalkboard or whiteboard? Whiteboard, because I have PTSD from Doris French Elementary School when I used to have to go clean the erasers.

And like, I probably have lung damage from all the chalk dust that I had to inhale in the custodian office. So whiteboard. I'm sure. I was a, my first job was a sweeper and had to clean those dang things. That was, that was a good time.

That was a good time. OK, back row or front row? What are we watching? Well, that's a good question. I was actually thinking in a classroom.

But let's do both. I want to do classroom. And then I want to do, let's do like, let's do like a Broadway musical. Classroom, Broadway musical. OK, classroom.

I got rid of desks because I do what I like to call 360 teaching. There is no front of the room because I'm constantly moving. So no matter where you are, it's the best seat in the house. And that's how I deal with behaviors and keep things at bay. Because again, rock star.

Just kidding. Maybe. Ha ha ha. I, though, as a kid, I was always in the back row. Or I was in the hall because I never stopped talking.

I would get in trouble and they would move my desk into the hallway. So like, I was that kid. But I think in a classroom setting, if you were to do rows, put me in the front row. I was always a front row student. Heart-shocking, I know.

But I think that's the best place to be. Consuming entertainment? Gosh. Front row is great because like, if there's a live orchestra and you're like, you know, I like to see the sweat come down. So like, there's that humanity to it.

But I don't like to creak my neck. That's the hard part, right? That's the hard part. I mean, that's why in the movie theater, I can't ever do the front row because you're way too much like that, creaking your neck. A musical, it depends on the venue.

We have in Salt Lake up here, we've got a pretty popular theater that does theater in the round. And when you have theater in the round, front row is awesome because all the seats go down to the theater. And so you're not looking up. You're looking down to where it's at. So front row is amazing because you're right there.

You're like eye level. Yeah, you're like right next to them, right? Whereas traditional one, yeah, front row is a little tough. If I had to choose, I'm probably back row because I don't want to be creaking my neck watching the show. Yeah.

I want to go see a movie, which I don't do anymore because I just, it's too expensive. And I can't hold my bladder during a whole movie while you get soda. And I don't, $100 for a movie and I miss it three times because I'm old and can't hold it. I went to see Odyssey, which I did love. I'm a movie guy.

I love movies. That's a long movie. It was everything I could do to only go once. I really should have gone twice, but I was like, I can't be the guy that goes twice in a movie, right? So I was like, all right, well, I went halfway through.

You can be the guy that gets a catheter before you go and then maybe I can make it through a movie. But for a movie, you've got to be back row. Yeah. Yeah, that's exactly right. That's exactly right.

OK, here's some really hard ones. Actually, maybe they might not be. Maybe it'll be really easy. Disneyland or Disney World? Land.

OK, within the Disney World realm, Animal Kingdom or EPCOT? Those are my two favorite ones. Shoot. Animal Kingdom. Oh, it's so good.

It's so good. OK, and this is not a this or that. What's your favorite ride in Animal Kingdom? Expedition Everest. OK, that's a popular one.

Yeah, it's a great ride. It's a great ride. Or the Avatar Safari. I mean, I love the Safari. But you know what I also love there is Avatar Ride, right?

Like I can't remember what it's called, but you're riding the Banshee. Like that might not do it for your motion sickness, but man, that is an amazing ride. Oh, that's true. So freaking good. There's so much stuff in Animal Kingdom, it's a blast.

I love it. Yeah. It's super good. OK, here's our rapid fire. You ready for some rapid fire?

Favorite Disney movie? Pinocchio. OK, now I just I haven't pointed out yet. I should have earlier. But if you're only listening to this, you won't see.

But if you're watching it, Kristin has a Pinocchio in the background off her, I think, right shoulder. I think, yeah, right shoulder. And on her shirt. And on her necklace. So we are talking about a Pinocchio fan here.

So that was Pinocchio. All in on Pinocchio. Favorite Disney song? Oh, it's not rapid fire because I'm having a brain fart. It's from Moana.

How far I'll go. You're welcome. Away, away. Oh, we know the way. Yeah.

I don't care what mood you're in. You put that song on, and all of a sudden I am skipping. I'm singing. I feel like I can do anything. Oh, it's a great song.

It is. And it's Lin-Manuel, right? And I, huge Lin-Manuel fan. I freaking love his stuff. I'm obsessed.

He's the best. Favorite Disney princess? Tiana. Tiana, great choice. She worked hard for what she had.

And I think it's because she also lost her daddy, right? For sure. And yeah, there's a piece there that I'm like, that is a prime example of somebody who didn't have anything handed to her. She had every reason to give up and to not go for something crazy. But I saw the hustle in her eyes, and man, I loved it.

I mean, I think the one song is like, I ain't got time for dancing, right? Like, I gotta be working hard. I ain't got time to go out dancing. You guys ain't freaking me. She's great.

Yeah, wonderful princess. OK, favorite Disney hero or heroine? Hmm. Oh, my goodness. Hero or heroine?

I go to Hercules, but is that because it's just easy? Yes, and it's also great. Like, I just actually watched Hercules last night. My kids wanted to watch it. And he's a good hero.

He is. He's got a great journey. He's a schmuck. Yeah, like, he's dealing with, like, the whole crush thing. And betrayal.

And he's just finding his way. Yeah. And he went on the journey of trying to find his connection to his DNA and his parents. Like, I get that. Totally.

I Can Go the Distance is a great song, too. Like, it's a terrific song. I love that song. I do like that. OK, favorite Disney park snack?

Churro fan. Um, nothing beats a Main Street waffle cone on Main Street. Like, it tastes better if you're on Main Street while you eat it. Once you, like, turn the corner and you go to Adventureland or Tomorrowland, the flavor is off. You've got to stay on Main Street.

That, to me, is like America nostalgia in my tummy. OK, I love it. I'm going to make sure I do that next time I'm down there in Disneyland. And it's got to be in the waffle cone. Don't be putting it in a cup with a spoon.

Not today, safe. I'll have to take my gluten pill because I can't do gluten and it's terrible. But it's worth it for a churro, worth it for a waffle cone. OK, well, all right. No, because if I take a gluten pill, I'm OK.

I don't have celiacs. So it's more just like, I take the pill, the enzymes, they do it right for me. And it's definitely worth it for a churro or a waffle cone, sounds like. God, we're a bunch of winners, aren't we, out there with our seasickness bands and our celiac? You know, gluten stuff is terrible.

OK, how about favorite book? And that's going to be a hard one, I guarantee it. Like any book? Let's say, let's do two. Let's do favorite book, any book.

And then I want to know favorite Disney related book. But you can't cheat and choose The Wisdom of Walt, OK? You can't cheat because that's cheating, all right? It's an amazing book. We all know it's amazing book.

If you haven't read it, read it. It's by Dr. Jeffrey Barnes. But what? Favorite Disney book and favorite any book?

OK, I'm going to go with Untamed by, oh my God, Glennon Doyle. Yeah. Untamed Glennon Doyle. That will cause you to second guess everything we thought you knew about most things. Creative, courageous, brave woman to speak her truth.

Is that also Abby Wambach? Is that the right book? Yes. OK, yeah, yeah, fantastic. Her wife.

Yeah, fantastic. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I read that at a time where I was not comfortable or nor was it encouraged for me to question things. And so that really just opened up a whole door of me, for me, to look at the world differently, kind of force my perspective, if you will. Yeah.

Yeah. As far as Disney book, it is right here. I think it is so incredibly important. It is the people behind the Disney parks, stories of those honored with a window on Main Street. And it is a beautiful dive into, obviously, there's been more people that have received windows, but all of the Disney lindges that have windows on Main Street, not only does it give you their information of who they were, but their back story of what led to them getting a window on Main Street.

So it just really brings it full circle. And it brings more meaning to the storytelling that goes on right when you walk in. OK, I'm going to have to get that exact information from you. We're going to put in the show notes, and I'm going to order it immediately. I've got to get this book.

This sounds unbelievable. Yes, you do. Well, and because I write Mondays on Main Street, before I wrote my first article for Dr. Barnes this year, I did a deep dive in this because I really wanted to almost do like a character study. Like, OK, if I'm going to be writing under this idea of Mondays on Main Street, like, let's really look at what that embodies and the souls behind it.

Super informative. Oh, I love this. Amazing. OK, and real quick, it's not just Disneyland. It's Disneyland and Disney World.

Oh, even better. Even better. We get a lot of stories. See, that's the best part. Like, I honestly, before I talked with Bob Weiss, I didn't even know that was the thing, to have like a window on Main Street.

No idea. But when I read his book, I'm like, oh, this is a thing. And then suddenly I started realizing, like, oh, there's all these amazing people windows. I started diving this whole world that I didn't even know existed is amazing. I have a collection.

I know we don't have time, but I have a collection of signs. This one's signed by Bob Gurr. It's a replica of his own window on Main Street. Bob Gurr is amazing. Also, I have Marty Scolar.

OK, what's that? Bob Gurr is amazing. And Marty Scolar is amazing. I have an amazing book. His book's terrific.

I know. I wish I could have met Marty before he passed. And Bob, actually Bob Weiss is writing a book about Marty Scolar right now. It's set to come out towards the end of this year, I think, is what Bob said, which is amazing. Can't wait to read that.

It'd be fantastic. I know. And no better person to write that book, to be gifted with that. And the stories, and I don't want to spoil it for anybody, but what went into him being able to do that is really cool. Yeah, amazing.

He got all of those things. OK, final rapid fire. Favorite restaurant. In general, are we talking at a Disney park? Well, it's a cheater question, because I think I know what it is, because I think I remember a post from you about it.

And it definitely was Disney related. So I want to hear it. I hate that this is my answer, because we can't go for dinner here without dropping $1,000. And I'm not saying that to brag. I'm saying that as like a poor teacher, my poor husband.

Sitting on the terrace at Club 33, overlooking the Rivers of America and New Orleans Square, is there's nothing beats it. The food is outstanding. The ambiance is outstanding. Being in something that was envisioned by Walt and helped decorate it by his wife, Lillian, and just you have nods to the past, you're immersed in story. And as a storyteller, that's my palette.

That's what I love. And then if it's not that one, of course, it's Club 33. OK, blue by you. All right, Kristin, well, the way we like to end every conversation we have is to get three actionable takeaways, something that somebody could put into effect in their life and take action on today or this week. So give us three actionable takeaways from the topic we had today.

Oh, OK. If I can encourage you to, every single day, start your day with intentional silence. If you have to start with five minutes, start with five minutes. Instead of grabbing your cell phone first, spend intentional silent time completely undistracted. And then work on incrementing that, increasing your increments thereafter, and let that become your new normal.

I'm going to speak to the writers. Those of you, or really anybody that wants to do anything, whether you have a dream of writing a book or you have a dream of wanting to do your own podcast or you want to produce a movie, whatever the dream might be, again, intentional time every single day, carve out 15 minutes to think of at least 15 new ideas. Anything. It could be any concept. That's how I went from zero words on a page to 43 chapters of a book in less than a year.

15 minutes, 15 new ideas, intentional alone time every single day. That's how you do it. Last one. If you're not happy with the life that is written in front of you, pick up the pen and write a new ending and the action And the first step attached to that is see yourself as worthy enough to live differently, to have a different life that you feel you're worthy of having. Whether that's for you, that might be what you eat, what you consume, how you move your body, the job that you have.

If you are not living a life that is truly fulfilling and is worthy of a fulfilling life, then do a different one. Just do a different one. Stop waiting. No, I'm going to save you. Do it for yourself.

Just do it. I love it. Fantastic actual takeaways. What a great conversation today, Kristin. So appreciative of the time that you shared so freely, the vulnerability you shared in sharing your story.

Very much looking forward to your book coming out. Can't wait to dive into it, to read it, to hear you read it, because I will definitely listen to an audiobook. I'm going to buy a copy, and I want you to sign it. I go down to Vegas sometimes, and I'll be like, Kristin, I'm showing up. You're signing my book, girl.

You're signing my book. It'll be phenomenal. So great conversation today about how we can break free from the strings that hold us down, how we can design a life that we love. We can shift our mindset in the way that we've seen things from the past to find a greater sense of belonging, first off with ourselves, and then extending out to others and finding ways to serve others. So such a pleasure visiting with you today.

Thank you, Ryan. You're a fantastic host. I love what you're doing in this community, and thank you for serving all of us. As you leave this conversation, remember that, yes, the past can hurt, and you can either run from it or you can learn from it. So here's to learning and finding joy in the journey.

See you real soon.