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Learn more at gtefinancial.org slash CareFree. Federally insured by NCUA. What up, Hammerin' Hank? How are you? Good to see you, buddy.

That was a lot of... What'd you say? How's it going, buddy? I'm doing good. Hopefully we can fight through the zoom connection.

If I hit this button, would you be ready to begin the show? Yes, buddy. You're listening to the Hammerin' Hank Show with Henry Ochs and Ryan Hoppe. Yeah Yeah Uh Yeah Hammerin' Hank, legend on the airways, free, autistic, Kingpin, Cali's hard OG, Wild 949s, he the voice they need, doghouse days, laying down the cream. Too legit to quit, Hammerin' Hank on fire, mic in hand, lifeline and wire, radio beast ain't showing no tire.

Underdog champion, always going higher. What up, Hammerin' Hank? How are you? How are you? Extremely good.

Man, you have been active this week on text messaging. Every five minutes, which it always cheers me up. What up, buddy? What up, Hank? Hey.

How are you? You've been a chatty Cathy this week. How much caffeine, how many sodas a day have you been having? About three or four. Ha ha ha.

I can tell. Do you have one next to you? Nope. My Coca Cola, my Yeti Cup, because at the radio station they don't want us to spell the drink. So I'm going to take a sip for you.

Ha ha ha. I love how you laugh like that. How's your week been, Hank? What's your radio memory of the week? My radio memory of the week?

Mm hmm. It's when I got to visit a country station called K-Tom in Salinas way back in 1992. Were they airing Bob and Tom? Nope. It was a country station.

What's your favorite? And I was hooked up with a sales kit. They love those sales kits in radio. You know you're in radio when you're giving away a sales kit. Yeah.

Your voice just cracked. Hammerin' Hank, any other memories in your 49 million years in radio? Nothing more this week. Wow. Nothing else.

You've gotten blood jobs on air. You've had billboards. You've sang a national anthem about nine times. You did Battle of the Bay or whatever it was. You did all these doghouse memories.

And you don't have another memory? You're out? Yes. Actually. Do you have another one?

When I jumped off the dining board at the James Lick High School San Jose way back in 1998 with Big Joe. How was that? Was that a fun day? It was very fun. Glad you had a good time, buddy.

I'm going to hit the music here because I don't have all day. And I want to do the jokes. So let me hit the music. Does that work with you? Okay, buddy.

Alright, one second. Alright Hank, let's start out with the normal jokes and then we'll do football jokes. Why do I always clean right before someone comes over? Why? Because I like pretending I live this way all the time.

Why do I keep checking my bank account? Why? Because apparently I think money grows when I'm not looking. Why do I always say I'll remember that? Why?

Because writing it down would be too easy. Why do I always take my phone to the bathroom? Because apparently three minutes alone with my thoughts is a little too much. Why do I always order too much food? Why?

Because hungry me has absolutely no respect for foamy. Oh, geez. Why do I always park in the same spot? Because finding my car is already difficult enough. Why do I always say I'm going to bed early tonight?

Why? Because I enjoy starting the evening with a lie. Okay. Why do I always turn my radio down when I'm lost? Why?

Because apparently my eyes can hear better silence. Why do I keep clothes that don't fit anymore? Why? Because apparently my closet believes in second chances. Why do I always forget someone's name right after me knowing them?

Why? Because my brain apparently has very strict guess list. A very strict guess list. Got it. And now for the football jokes.

Why did the football coach go to the bank? Why? Because he needed a quarterback. Why was the football stadium so cold? Why?

Because it was full of fans. Why did the football player bring a ladder? Why? Because he wanted to make it to the next level. Why did the football player go to the bakery?

Why? Why did the football player go to the bakery? Why? Because he wanted a turnover. Why was the football player good at fishing?

Why? Because he already knew how to make a great catch. Why did the quarterback bring a suitcase? I don't know. Because he was ready to pack the defense.

Why did the football player bring a string on to the field? I don't know. Because he wanted to tie the game. Why did the quarterback become a comedian? I don't know.

Because he had great delivery. Why did the football player bring a map? Why? Because he couldn't find the end zone. And finally, why did the football team go to the restaurant?

Why? Because they were hungry for a win. And that's it for the jokes. Let me load up the NFL music. I play every day on my show, half-pian.

This is also on Hot 97.7 on Monday morning. Say hi to Fresno. Hi, Fresno. Oh, it says here. We got NFL predictions.

What do you think of the NFL, Hank? The NFL is okay. What do you mean? I predict the Chief will end it all this year. I think that bringing back Eric B.

enemy is huge. What else should do awful this year? Who will? The 49ers. They could be okay.

They'll be okay. I'm a little worried about the Bears because they got Caleb Williams on the cover. Up Madden. That's not good. There's the Madden curse.

You don't want to be on the cover of Madden? You would hate it. If you ever get it, because there's always the Madden curse. Right. I think you would break the Madden curse.

And you would also break some girls' backs, which we'll get into in a sec. But first. You have no idea what I just did because we were doing it on Zoom, but I was letting the NFL music finish out. So there you go, Hank. Hanky, I was very intrigued by this next topic.

A lot of times it's my favorite TV commercial from the 80s or radio memories. This is a topic that I am fascinated by. It says number five. Should I apply for a dating app? Should Hammerin' Hank, Henry Ochs be on a dating app?

What's on your mind, Henry? I'm thinking about applying for a dating app. The good one would be Hinge. Hinge, that'd be cool. Not Bumble, not Tinder, because those are clutches and brides.

No, I'm telling you. I think Hinge, if you would, because it's like you have a lot of like prompts. So it'll be like my favorite thing to do is and then it'll have so like let me get my profile. I'm going to read it to you and let me know what you think. I actually kind of want your critique.

You don't need to hold back. You never do. Let's see here. All right. So you see right here, this is a visual, but you see the like picture?

Yes. All right. It says, whoa, and this is my page. Well, I instantly hit it off. If you like holding hands while I drive on our first date, like to cuddle on the couch after a long day.

You believe in the concept of a ride or die. Dating me is like realizing that everyone will look since I'm the tallest person in the room. Blah, blah, blah. You get the point. My point is, I think it would be the best one for you because of your autism because you could say, hey, I don't drive, but I'm high functioning autism.

I have a radio. You know what I'm saying? I feel like Bumble and Tinder is a little too skanky for you. But I think Hinge is the way to go. It's the way to go too, buddy.

But Hank, I got to ask you something. First of all, what would Smurfette think? Oh, no, you probably have mixed emotions. Yeah, because I had some point, dude. You deserve to live out your golden years.

Right, buddy. That's what I'm saying. Like, I don't know. Like, I think you're fine. I'm going to be real.

I think you're functioning enough to date somebody. I think there would be moments that there'd be, I mean, obviously arguments, but you're not. But I'm here. I'll get paid for this. I love you.

You're a lovable guy. I think you'd be great at it. Thank you, buddy. Now, if you were to go on a first date, if there's a hot ass woman, what are the towns nearby you? I know you're in the San Francisco, you're in Hayward, right?

Right, I'm in Hayward. So anybody near Hayward, California listening? And it's Hammerin' Hank right now. Hammerin' Hank, I'm going to give you the floor. Picture yourself.

Give yourself, think of this as an audition to get a hot ass girlfriend. Think of this as... My name is Hammerin' Hank. I live in Hayward, California. I spent many, many, many years working in the radio business.

I just been elected to the Bay Area Radio Hall of Fame with the Doghouse. And I'm trying to attend some concerts. Hank, that was not bad. The last part was good. Here's the thing.

Have a picture of you and Marley on the couch. Have a picture of your billboard. And then have a picture of you smiling like the one of you wearing a hot 97.7 outfit. The thing is, you want people to date Henry. For Henry!

I've dated cloud chasing broads that liked me because I was on the radio. And then when I left the radio show, bye bye! Running sound effects from Looney Tunes. Never hear from them again. Here's my point.

We want to get Hank a woman that's loyal. We want to get Hank a woman that ain't going to just be like, Oh my God, I'm hanging out with the greatest autistic radio talent ever. And I believe that. What I'm telling you, you need to be like, Hi, my name is Henry. I work in the media business for the last, let's say, let's say 35 years.

And I love hanging out with my family. You know what I mean? So let's do one more take. Less about the radio hall of fame. Let's get to know.

Because listen, Hank, before you say it, there's two versions of me. There's this loud jackass known as Hoppe. And then there's Ryan. I obviously don't go around on dates going, all my dates listen to my show. And they go, that day, is that what's going to be the first date?

So here's my point. Forget your Hammerin' Hank career. You're Henry. Let's do the audio dating app of Henry. A take two.

What's up? My name is Henry. Oops. OCHS. I'm also known as the world's most lovable autistic.

I spent many years working in the media business. I love to go on a date with a lovely female to a concert. Yes! Yes! Good job.

This will be a video. And we will be promoting him. Now the thing is, oh yeah. If things get hot and heavy, Hank. Where's that condom?

It's not as good, but we don't need Hank babies out there, especially at your age. We don't need the Hank babies either. I love you, dad. It says right here, your birthday wish list for November 16th. What do you want for your birthday?

Whatever the wish list so far, I'm not gonna pass. That's reasonable. At some point when I figure out my budget, which is probably my next paycheck, I'm gonna pay for your Chad GBT as an early present. I said that last month and I'm sticking to it. Let me figure out, because here's the thing ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, people listening.

Hank first loved Chad GBT. It's brilliant for autistic people. But what happened was because he's using a free version, it didn't let him use it anymore. So I'm not looking to be one of the radio hosts that goes, hey, I'm helping out the guy, but I'm going to help you out, Hank. I'm going to get you Chad GBT plus in like two or three weeks and then go talk to him about building this podcast.

OK, is there anything else you want for your birthday? Yes. What? Maybe some warrior basketball tickets. That's not it.

You know what you need to do? I say this every time we bring it up. Hank, what you got to do is you got this likeability to you that most people don't have. I honestly don't even sometimes when you're around an autistic person the whole time, you realize the person's autistic. I forget you're just Hank.

You're just Henry. Yeah, you have autism, but fuck it. What I'm saying to you, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, is you have a very likeability when asking for things. You asked me, I was in the middle of a hurricane. You're like, hey, can I come on hobby hour?

And then they show up again. I need you to use that Henry Ochs charm and hit up some people that have power and ask if there's any way to get discounts on warrior's tickets. And voila, it could happen. Make it happen, Captain. Does that make sense?

Yes, it does, buddy. You are at a loss of words. Hammerin' Hank, we have a comment here. Henry, I've been a fan of you since when you worked on Mancow's morning show. Keep up the good work.

And also, I was talking, do you know who flying Brian is on? He's been one of five five of the beat in for Mars. Yes, buddy. He was a huge fan of the doghouse. Listen to them online.

He used to buy tapes of them online, I believe, or somehow back in the day, the doghouse influenced flying Brian and the freak show in Fort Myers to its quarter century of being number one. And I was talking to him yesterday about radio because I was trying to he's he got laid off by I heart. There's a non compete. He can't do anything right now. But I was talking to him and we were talking about radio and his quote about you is Hammerin' Hank is the goat, one of God's most special people.

We love you, Hank. Thank you, buddy. All right. I feel like I'm talking too much. Let's see here.

If I hit the music, would you be ready for Buddy of the Week? Yes. All right. Yo, tune into the show. It's Hammerin' Hank.

Autistic genius always keeping it dank. Henry Ochs on the mic. Hot Rod and shotgun. Roll call for the buddies. We just having some fun.

Buddy of the Week. Who gonna get the crown? Hank bringing spot out. Shut the haters down. On the airwaves.

We breaking the code. All right. Who is your buddy of the week? My buddy of the week is definitely Selena from 249. Also, Graham.

What do they do? Jess. What do they do? They play my top acts in time to time. Oh, you do.

Do you do talk backs in the talk back button? Yes, I do. What is that? Usually I'm going topics. Mm hmm.

That button you click on the microphone. No, no, no, no, no, no, Hank. And you. Every fucking little listen. Every talk break, I heart talking about the talk back button.

I think everyone I'm saying what are some examples of things you've left on the talk back button? Mm hmm. My national anthem performances. So wait, you would sing the national anthem into the talk back? Nope, I would promote it.

Oh, got it. That would be a good one. You should do parody songs. My name is Graham. I'm from Napa Valley and I'm a pretty boy.

Mm hmm. I'm glad to be left. Are you ready for Prick in the News? Yes. Straight out the gym, let Henry on the mic.

What's this? Prick in the news. Who's thinking they slick? Ryan got the scoop crew ready to expose. Shots fired dodging pigs in the petty pros.

Coppers in the back Hoppe with that verbal machete. Every word on weapon cameras rolling yelling ready. Keyboard warriors acting tough behind the screen. Between the lines you get sliced like a deli cheese. Prick in the news.

What's going on Hank? Who's your Prick in the Lake? Ashley Jordan Lee who was let go from his radio job in Wisconsin because of a rude act on a child. So this guy was in charge of radio on out there in Milwaukee. You texted me this after I was leaving Toy Story 5 and I Googled it.

And Hank, I think this country is way too nice to pedophiles. I think that once you're found guilty, you take them out to the back, you grab the shotgun and you go bye. You did a terrible job programming radio. Mm hmm. How would you deal with pedophiles?

Would you put them out to the pasture? You would what? I would confront them. What would you say to this guy? I'd make sure they are locked up for a long, long time.

How many years? About 50. 50? 50. Yes.

So Jordan's never going out. He's probably 40 years old. I saw he used just for men because he's a loser. He's a loser. And also the boss of Key and Beard in San Francisco for that great pop a go.

Yeah, it was very sad. Doesn't he have cancer as well? Yes, cancer. Yes. Hank, what are some random thoughts on your mind?

Well, I have a blood test this Tuesday. I mean, I have to come in and do some lab work. You'll be OK, buddy. You're just kidding. I'll be OK.

God's on your side. You'll be fine. Anything else? That's it. All right.

Let me load up the button here. Give me a second here. Oh, I got a load. We're taking a screenshot. All right.

Everyone's going to be patient. Let's get zero. All right. One, two, three. We got Luna on the show.

Hey, you know, how the hell are you? You just scratched me a little bit. Oh, you're so cute. There's Luna. I love it.

Yeah. You're cute. That was psychotic. I have a right. Hank, let me text myself this picture.

We look cute. We always look cute because we're handsome. You want to hear something funny? Yes. Supposedly, because I have a loud mouth.

People can hear me through the walls. I'm not at work right now, but at work. People can hear the show. Hey, buddy. Anyway, I'm just kind of prolonging.

I hate when the show ends. So sad. I hate it too, buddy. We'll have next week episode 64. Because this was a 60, a 3.

OK. All right. Hammerhead Hank. I give you the floor. Sign off.

All right. I got to say what's up to all my buddies out there. I love you so much. And I'll talk to you real soon. Peace in your hood.

Bye, Hank. I love you. I love you too. Bye. And there he goes on Zoom.

If you're listening on high 97.7, I'm pretty caffeinated. And happy hour begins in two minutes. And that is that. Yeah. Yo.

Yo. Yo. Yo. Yo. Mike Crackle.

Hammerhead Hank on the tackle. Autistic mind sharper than a bone chiller shackle. Henry Oates with the hops Ryan Hopped in the spot. Radio waves hitting hard like a shepherd's bow. My farewell.

Hammerhead Hank got to close up the show. Legend in the booth where the vibes used to flow. Autism warrior always running the glow. But all good things got to let the curtain go slow. All the dial spitting truth with his unique grind.

Thoughts intertwined like graffiti on the line. Ryan on the mic. Henry's rhythm divine. They the blueprint. Every beat they design.

Static in the speakers where the laughter used to ride. Hank led the show with that beautiful pride. Autism didn't stop him. Nod amplified. Hammerhead Hank forever immortalized.

Farewell. Hammerhead Hank got to close up the show. Legend in the booth where the vibes used to flow. Autism warrior always running the glow. But all good things got to let the curtain go slow.

Radio go never goes. He a host with the stars. Henry Oates and Ryan Hopped. Lightning never lost. Puzzle piece crowned.

Man this dude was the boss. City missed the voice. That's the ultimate cause. Farewell. Hammerhead Hank got to close up the show.

Legend in the booth where the vibes used to flow. Autism warrior always running the glow. Tis a warrior always running aglow But all good things gotta let the curtain go slow Radio, Jade never ghosts He a host with the stars Heriokes of Ryan Hoff Life ain't never lost Puzzle piece crowned Man is doomed but the boss city missed the voice That's the ultimate cost Too good for me Too good for me Too good for me Too good for me Too good for me Too good for me Too good for me What's up, Ryan Hoppe here And I wanna tell you about the Ride to Wave Media Podcast Network They've got such great shows as Practically Magic Those Guys Blamethrilled And even my show Hoppe Hour with Ryan Hoppe, which can be heard by searching Hoppe Radio. This podcast network is going to take over the world. It is everything that radio is missing.

Now you're hearing my voice and you go, how can I find it? RideTheWave.media is the website name and there has all the great podcasts. And once again, this is Ryan Hoppe from the Ride The Wave Media Podcast Network. What's up? Ryan Hoppe here.

And I want to tell you about the Ride The Wave Media Podcast Network. They got such great shows as Practically Magic, Those Guys, Blame The World, and even my show Hoppe Hour with Ryan Hoppe, which can be heard by searching Hoppe Radio. This podcast network is going to take over the world. It is everything that radio is missing. Now you're hearing my voice and you go, how can I find it?

RideTheWave.media is the website name and there has all the great podcasts. And once again, this is Ryan Hoppe from the Ride The Wave Media Podcast Network. I've been doing this a long time in Cocoa Beach. And what still gets me stoked on these kayak tours are one, the genuine joy that I see on my guests face when I'm able to find my guests a manatee or a dolphin and we get within an arm's reach of this awesome creature that they probably have never seen before. It's like giant smiles.

It's super tough not to be stoked when you've got all this beautiful water around you. I'm Ian Gibbs and I'm a kayak tour guide in Cocoa Beach. Cocoa Beach, the birthplace of Stoke. Feel it for yourself at LegendaryCocoaBeach.com. My electric bill keeps creeping up every month this summer.

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