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What up, Hammerin' Hank? How are you? What the fuck are you doing buddy? Doing great. If I had the music...

Oh, I just got a text. I'm so popular. If I had the music, would you be ready to start the show? Thank you for buddy. You're listening to the Hammerin' Hank Show with Henry Oakes and Ryan Hoppe.

Uh. Uh. Yeah. Hammerin' Hank, legend on the airwaves free. Autistic Kingpin, Cali's hard OG.

Wild 949, he the voice they need. Doghouse days, laying down the cream. Too legit to quit, hammering and Hank on fire. Mic in hand, lifeline and wire. Radio beast ain't showing no tire.

Underdog champion, always going higher. Wild like a wolf, howl at the moon. Airways rocking, making... What up, Hank? Dynamic Trio tune.

What the fuck are you doing buddy? Breaking... Doing pretty fucking good. How are you? ...and Hank on fire.

Very good buddy. So, what have you been up to this week? I've been trying to audition to see the national anthem at Minnesota High football games, Santa Cruz Warriors, and Sox and Kings. How is it going? Reaching out to all of them.

Thank you buddy. No, you gotta listen to me. How is it going reaching out to them? Pretty good. What do you say to them?

How do you reach out? I got the email address through madeai. That's good. I'm very proud of you, Hank. You're out here killing it in life.

Thank you buddy. You're welcome. You're a legend. Let's see here what's on our radio prep sheet. First of all, you can leave us a voicemail.

It's for my show and this show. 856-49-Hoppe. 856... Or you can hit me up on Instagram at DJHammerandHank. That's 856-494-6773.

And we got a comment here from a listener. Wow. Every time I listen to this show, it gets better. I am so proud of Hammerin' Hank for creating his own universe. Keep up the good work.

Thank you buddy. You're quite welcome. So Hammerin' Hank, what is your radio memory of the week? I attended the 97 FM KSJQ. It was a radio station, Minnesota.

They had a one-year anniversary party way, way back in 1985. And I got to interact with a lot of the DJs that used to work there. Was it a good time when you were there? Very good time. What were some of the best parts of that day?

I got hooked up with some prizes like water slide prizes, which I didn't get to go, unfortunately. That sucks. What's the greatest prize you've ever won in radio besides a 15-minute blowjob? Oh, yeah. Shakira, come on, take it.

I got to see her. Did you see her in person? Like, did you meet her? No, she's a hot piece of ass. Yes, I got to sit way in the back.

Unfortunately, it was in the front and the lower deck though. But I had to sit in the back. Yeah, you did. I'm sorry, bud. But I had to sit well close to the stage.

And by the stage, in the first couple rows, my dick got big. I love when you get dirty. Because that makes me uncomfortable, but in a good way. But it's weird to think about you being pleasured. It's weird.

Hey, we got to get you on dating apps, dude. Oh, buddy. No, no, no. I'm telling you, we need to get you on dating apps. Right.

Would you ever do it? Maybe. You would. You're hammered. Hey, of course you would do well.

Now, if you were to message a woman, how would you do it? To meet you and possibly take you to some concerts. The thing is, I want to know, what's your pickup line when you talk to him? What's up, buddy? Even to girls?

Yep. Where would be your first date? We had a Britney Spears concert, but Britney Spears isn't performing anymore, unfortunately. So we had a Sabrina Carpenter concert, buddy. What are we going to do with you?

We got to get you laid. That's what we got to do. We got to get you a hot ass Latino woman. Fuck yeah. With that little energy we have, let's do the jokes.

Let me hit the music. Okay, buddy. Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah. Here's what we're going to do.

Well, first of all, why did you want to say homeless jokes? Yes, I remember doing a joke at the Walnut County Company Jam way back in 2004. You know, Sam, since the nation's largest homeless population, I hate the fact that they always pay people for money. Why are they doing a fucking job or something? Because the only thing that happened is a cup of hot piss.

You're the best, dude. You're just, you get mad over the weirdest things. It's so good. You're the best. All right, so what we're going to do is we're going to start off with the first 10 jokes of the normal jokes.

And then right after, tell us just the homeless jokes. Okay, you ready? Let's go. What I'll always put my keys in a safe place so I can never find them again. Hmm.

What I always check the pantry after dinner. Why? Because dessert doesn't count as another meal. What I keep saying, I only watch one video. Why?

Because I'm an optimist. What I always wear my oldest shoes. Why? Because they're the only ones that understand me. What I always check my mailbox.

Why? Because hope is free. What I always walk into the kitchen stand there. Why? Because my stomach calls a meeting but forgot the agenda.

What I always wait until the end. Until I'm in bed to remember everything I forgot. Because my brain likes perfect timing. What I always keep buying notebooks. Why?

Because apparently owning them is the same thing as being organized. What I always look at the weather after I'm already outside. Why? Because I'm always confirming what I already know. What I always say, I don't need another thing from the store.

Because I enjoy making a second trip tomorrow. Now for the homeless jokes. Why? Why did a homeless guy love the library? Why?

Because it had the best free wifi and air conditioning in town. A homeless guy said I'm between homes. His friend replied that's the longest move I've ever seen. Why do the fucking homeless people lose their keys? Because they fucking keep everything down with them.

A homeless guy walked into the coffee shop and asked do you have anything in the house? The cashier said that's fucking kind of the problem. Someone told a homeless guy to make yourself at home. He answered I'm fucking trying. Why was the homeless guy so good at driving at given directions?

Why? He knew how to park in the fucking city. A homeless guy said I finally got a place with an open floor plan. Yes boo. Why did a homeless guy become a meteorologist?

Why? He knew exactly when it was going to rain. A homeless guy ride my fucking landlord never raised a rent. His friend said that's one way to look at sleeping outside. The homeless guy said I live in a mini-list also.

His buddy replied that's a very optimistic way to describe it. That's not bad. Good job Hank. Do you know what I'm playing right now? Church music.

How the hell is church going? Extremely good. What are you wearing? My pastor John he had surgery the other day. Is he okay?

He is okay. We have guest speakers during the month of August. We've been recording for 11 minutes and 11 seconds. That goes out to your pastor. Thank you buddy.

What have you been praying about? Pastor John's surgery, my radio career, and also my date. We need to get you a woman named like uh I don't know. Yeah Veronica. Suck him up.

I don't know. Veronica, Lakeisha, Latenda. Hey buddy. Have her at Hank. Let me see here.

What are some songs from the 2000s you think they should bring back? Let me portrait by Pence. Any song by Shakira. Shakira. Which I wish I could sing at her concert a little more.

Also uh. Miss. Also. What's up? All you wanted by Michelle Branch.

I love Michelle Branch. A little bit of this. A little bit of that. Started with a kiss now we're up to bat. Doesn't that sound like the game of love?

Yep. Not at all. Michelle Branch and Santana. Oh yeah. I love Michelle Branch.

Also Oopsy Did It Again by Britney Spears. She's okay. She's fine. Have her at Hank. Do you have any trivia this week?

One question. What's the question? Who had the number one hit record? Liv Detell way back in 1986. Vizetel?

Liv Detell. Madonna. Sucking off a guy. Wow I got it right. I was just.

That was a guess Hank. And I did it. Oh and that's it for this week. If I hit the news. If I hit the music.

Would you be ready for a prick in the news? Yes. Let me do it. Let me turn it up. Straight out the dim lit Henry on the mic.

What's this prick in the news? Fools thinkin' they slick. Ryan got the scoop crew ready to expose. Shots fired dodgin' pigs in the petty pros. Coppers in the back Hoppe with that verbal machete.

Every word on weapon cameras rollin' y'all ain't ready. Keyboard warriors actin' tough behind the screen. Between the lines you get sliced like a deli cheese. Prick in the news. He's a thorn in your side.

Exposing all your lies. There ain't no place to hide. Henry Ryan dropped a shit ton of drugs. What up pig? What do you got?

Prick in the news. Deathly P. Diddy. He's a douchebag. You got beat up in prison.

The prison official say it was his fault. So he was sent to solitary confinement. Loser. Loser. You gotta do it.

Your turn. Loser. Fucking bastard. Yeah, your mic can't even take you. You get so pissed about saying loser.

Hammerin' Hank. Any other pricks? All right, let me get Buddy of the Week. Yo. Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo.

Tune into the show. It's Hammerin' Hank. Autistic genius always keepin' it dank. Henry Ochs on the mic. Hot rod and shotgun.

Roll call for the buddies. We just havin' some fun. Buddy of the Week. Let's drive. We gon' get the crowd.

Hank bring his spot out. Shut the haters down. On the airwaves. We breakin' the code. Street We catch the vibe when Hank spit them words so tight.

Every moment electric like sparks in the night. We've talked a lot of smack today. So let's have positive vibes. How's your Buddy of the Week? My buddy of the week is definitely all the people who's trying to get me to sing the national anthem at sporting events.

Name some of those people. Miguel. From the San Jose Giants. Also everyone at the Santa Cruz Warriors. Ah, geez.

Stockton Kings. San Jose Barracuda. Made it to high school. And Hayward High. You are so popular.

You're popular. You're more popular than me, Hank. Who, Buddy? Ah, whatever. Anything else going on?

Well, I wish I could see a hot female artist in concert in the second row. Not the first row. By the stage. So my dick would get hard. Now there's different types of chubs.

There's average hardness and then there's like rock hard. Would you be rock? Well, I'll dress up to go to concerts if that's the case. I'll definitely dress up. What's the F you wearing?

I wear slacks. All shirt. Anything else you'd wear? I'll wear, I'll probably wear a sweater if it's cold. Yeah, it's gonna be cold.

Their nipples are gonna get hard. You're gonna need to warm them up by twisting them. Hammerin' Hank, I'm saying way too much. This is a family show. I can't be saying it.

All you gotta do is lick the clit the same way over and over. Just giving you advice. Hammerin' Hank, any other random thoughts in your mind? That's it. Hammerin' Hank, this has been a very strange show.

We had fun. We got a little dirty. We got a little clean. What is the meaning of life, Hank? Never, never give up.

I always say focus and you go. And they could come true one day. Sign us off. Well, I got to sign off now and we hope to see you again next week. Peace in your fucking hood.

Love you, fucking Hank. I love you. Bye, dude. Bye now. Yeah.

I got Hank to say he loves me. Yeah. Yo. Yo. Yo.

Yo. Mike Crackle. Hammerin' Hank on the tackle. Autistic mind sharper than a bone-chilling shackle. Henry Oates with the hops.

Ryan Hopped in the spot. Radio waves hitting hard like a chef at the pot. Farewell. Hammerin' Hank gotta close up the show. Legend in the booth where the vibes used to flow.

Autism warrior always running the glow. But all good things gotta let the curtain go slow. On the dial, spitting truth with his unique grind. Thoughts intertwined like graffiti on the line. Ryan on the mic, Henry's rhythm divine.

They the blueprint, every beat they design. Static in the speakers where the laughter used to ride. Hank led the show with that beautiful pride. Autism didn't stop him, nod, amplified. Hammerin' Hank forever immortalized.

Farewell. Hammerin' Hank gotta close up the show. Legend in the booth where the vibes used to flow. Autism warrior always running the glow. But all good things gotta let the curtain go slow.

Radio go never go. See a host with the sloths. Henry Oates and Ryan Hopped lightning never lost. Puzzle piece crown man, this dude was the boss. City missed the voice, that's the ultimate cause.

Farewell. Hammerin' Hank gotta close up the show. Legend in the booth where the vibes used to flow. Autism warrior always running the glow. But all good things gotta let the curtain go slow.

Radio. Dave never ghost. He a host with the sloths. Henry Oates and Ryan Hopped lightning never lost. Puzzle piece crown man, this dude was the boss.

City missed the voice, that's the ultimate cause. What's up? Ryan Hoppe here. And I want to tell you about the Ride to Wave Media Podcast Network. They got such great shows.

It's practically magic. Those guys, Blane's World, and even my show, Hoppe Hour with Ryan Hoppe, which can be heard by searching Hoppe Radio. This podcast network is going to take over the world. It is everything that radio is missing. Now you're hearing my voice and you go, how can I find it?

RideTheWave.media is the website name. And there has all the great podcasts. And once again, this is Ryan Hoppe from the Ride to Wave Media Podcast Network. What's up? Ryan Hoppe here.

And I want to tell you about the Ride to Wave Media Podcast Network. They got such great shows. It's practically magic. Those guys, Blane's World, and even my show, Hoppe Hour with Ryan Hoppe, which can be heard by searching Hoppe Radio. This podcast network is going to take over the world.

It is everything that radio is missing. Now you're hearing my voice and you go, how can I find it? RideTheWave.media is the website name. And there has all the great podcasts. And once again, this is Ryan Hoppe from the Ride to Wave Media Podcast Network.

This is the Cocoa Beach on Florida Space Coast Podcast. I'm Kelly Bowman, and I have been chasing the stories, meeting the people, and uncovering the little details that help you explore this place like a local. And the more time you spend here, you realize it's not just a beach. The shoreline is a launch pad for catching waves and watching rockets lift into space. Open your free iHeart radio app, search Cocoa Beach on Florida Space Coast, and listen now.

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