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What up Hammerin' Hank? How the heck are you doing buddy? I'm good. We're on episode 45. Can you believe it?

Yes I can buddy. Our episode's going through a midlife crisis. Now you're not going to be able to hear it because you're on zoom but if I hit the opener and the music are you ready to begin the show? Ready buddy. I'm gonna hit it.

You're listening to The Hammerin' Hank Show with Henry Oakes and Ryan Hoppe. What up Hammerin' Hank? How are you? How the heck are you buddy? I'm doing good.

How have you been? Pretty good despite the war in Iran. Yeah looks like they're trying to hit California. It better not hit Hammerin' Hank. I know.

I would hope we don't get hit. Yeah I would hope not either. Are people freaking out over there? Yes they are. What are they saying?

What's the overall vibe? I don't want to die right now. Yeah I don't think anybody does. Hank are people talking about it? On Facebook yes.

Oh man what are they saying on Facebook? Are people saying it in like a general conversation day through day just kind of talking about it? General conversation yes. What's the overall vibe of the general conversations of people saying it? That uh I hope Iran doesn't hit us.

Yes Well if you want political analysis go to Fox News Fox News or you can go to CNN or wherever you get your biased news. Here we like to take your mind off of the craziness. Hank how long have you been in radio? Almost 30 over 30 years now. So you began in 91 right at KCRH?

92. So 34 years bro. That's older than me. Your radio career is older than me. How does that feel?

Extremely good. Hammerin' Hank every week we gotta go back in time and we remember the good parts. I mean they're all good even though Elvis. Of your radio career and Graham. Uh Hammer and Hank what are some of your favorite memories of your time in radio?

Well I got to dance with a fun house in San Jose. I was hosting this club way back in 1997. What is a club night like when Hammerin' Hank's hanging out with some Latino women? Extremely good. I got to interrupt them, dance with them, socialize with them and drink soda with them.

Soda? You didn't have any vodka or tequila, quero? Yes but I had to stop because I'm taking flomax. What's your urination problem? I had to go to the restroom every hour of the night.

That's not good. Do you get enough sleep or not really? Not really. That's why you text me in the middle of the night. I'm just kidding.

Hammerin' Hank you can text me whenever. Hammerin' Hank I like when you're hanging out with Latino women. It was very very very very good. Did a woman get naughty on the dance floor? Sometimes they did, sometimes they didn't.

Now what's the typical naughtiness of an event? Hugging girls. Hugging? Kissing women. How hard do you kiss them Hanky?

I got a hard kiss from some women. What nightclub was it that you got the legendary mouth hug from? The sound factory in San Francisco. You know I'm sure he's gonna love that I'm saying this. Do you know a guy named Benjamin Heldfund who used to own the sound factory?

Yes. You remember Ben Swig? Yes. What are your memories of Ben Swig? Because I produced his radio show in Tampa.

Was he nice to you? Pretty nice. Yeah he's a good guy. That is a good guy. That was the club where I met Veronica.

Oh yeah. Yeah I'm sure Ben Swig wants to be affiliated with the show. He's a good dude though. He would always talk about JV & Elvis on Tampa radio talking about the influence you guys left because you guys definitely left an influence. How does it feel that you guys left an influence on people like you?

Extremely good. In the moment when you were on the The Doghouse with JV & Elvis were you aware of the influence or not? Yes I was. So in the moment you're going man we're becoming legends before our very own eyes. Cool.

No no no I'm asking you because sometimes Hank I've talked to radio DJs and they said they were the best. He once told me on my very podcast Hoppe Aira with Ryan Hoppe he told me that he didn't know how many states could hear them in the 70s and that if they would have known how popular they were until after the fact they would have been really cocky. Now you guys had like about 900,000 listeners. Were you guys aware of the impact? You were helping out with people going to school or people going to work?

That's correct. All righty I feel like I'm talking in circles. 856-494-6773. Hanky I am going to hit the music and when I point you on zoom what we're going to do is Hank's jokes but let me hit the new EDM intro. You can hear it after.

Oh yeah let me turn it up. Sounds like Cass Cain. Alright Hank what are your jokes? I went to McDonald's for ice cream. Yeah.

The machine was broken. At this point that machine should just run for president. Ha ha ha ha. Talk about innocent fast food. It's fast food grat.

Fast food is amazing. You can wait in your car for 15 minutes for food that was ready 10 minutes ago. I tried eating healthy at a fast food place once. The cashier looked at me and like I walked into the wrong restaurant. You tried it?

Burger King says have it your way until you ask for french fries. Nothing hits harder than fast food at 2 a.m. I expect to get it at 8 a.m. Nice. Chick-fil-A employees are so polite.

Yeah. I can best say apologize when you mess up. Fast food sizes used to be small, medium, large. Now it's large, extra large, and life choices. People order a triple bacon cheeseburger, large fries, and a diet coke.

Yeah. Legislature is going to fix everything. Nice. Every drive-through speaker sounds like it's underwear. Welcome to Wendy's.

May I take the order? And that's it for the fast food jokes. All right. Give us the baseball jokes. The baseball season begins in about 20 days or maybe even less.

Why did the baseball team hire Baker? Why? Because they needed a good batter. Why was the baseball player a bad comedian? Why?

Because he always struck out. I tried to play baseball once. Yeah. But I kept getting caught stealing snacks in the dugout. You would do that.

Why did the baseball player bring a ladder to the game? What? He wanted to get to the high pitches. Baseball is the only job where you can fail seven out of ten times and still be considered great. It's very true.

I love baseball. It's the only place where people pay money to watch a guy stand around for three hours. Why don't baseball players ever get lost? Because they always follow the bases. Nice.

Why did the baseball player go to jail? Why? Because he caught stealing second. My baseball career ended too quickly. I did.

It turns out you're not supposed to bring a glove to the batting cage. Why are baseball teams always full? Why? I should say because they're full of fans. I have an extra joke.

Tell me. You know, San Francisco is one of the nation's largest homeless population. Yes. I hate the fact that they always pay pen money on me for money. Why don't they give a job or something?

Yeah. Because the only thing I have for them is a cup of hot. Yes, you told me that earlier and it makes me laugh every time I've never heard a cup of hot piss. You should start your own stand hammer and Higgs hot piss. That's cool.

Are you aware of how funny you are naturally? Oh, whatever. Screw my screw my compliment. I was coming. You're welcome.

You're quite welcome. It says here or some I heart radio DJs you'd like to work with slaying up a one a for nine. San Francisco, the witty show, else random morning show, Joe drove and kiss of him in L. A. And also I heart media Chicago.

Have you heard of this atrocious show that only got the show because of their father named Mojo? Have you heard of the Joe show in on ninety three three FLZ? No, I haven't. No one has. Anyway, just like doing it.

That's why David Beller off trade a big league orchestra. That's fine at the Joe show. That was Nebo babies. Anyway, Hammerin' Hank, you can't hear it, but I have heaven music playing right now. I have church music.

Hammerin' Hank, tell me what's going on in church. We're still studying the Book of James. Mm hmm. How's that? This is always wide to keep people from going to hell.

I want to go to hell. I don't want to go to hell. Sounds fun. Just kidding. Because it's a very, very, hot place.

Oh, yeah. I'm already in hell. I'm in Tampa Bay. I want to go to heaven. You missed my joke.

I said hell is Tampa Bay. He's supposed to laugh. He's so funny. Right? Their motto is the I see me first is to love God and to invite others to follow Jesus.

Why do you believe in Jesus so much? Because he's my Lord and Savior. What are you talking? Good things for the world. What do you talk to him about?

My issues and my goals. What do you think about it? What does Jesus think about your masturbation habits? He likes it. Remember the Doobie Bear song?

Jesus is just all right with me. You love doing that. You also love just randomly saying Black Hole Son. For the hell of it. Sing Black Hole Son.

Black Hole Son won't you come. You definitely know about coming. I have it, Hank. It says here that you have some radio nostalgia. What is your radio nostalgia?

I used to see a radio station, KLOK, which was a name station back in the 1970s and 80s. It was a name station San Jose. When they do they played a lot of good music from back in the day like Guantanamera. That sounds fun. That sounds great.

Do you remember KOME? Come on, radio. Don't touch the dial. Your radio has come on it. He was talking about semen, but it was also the call letters.

Anyway, if you were to create your own call letters and radio, why would yours be? I don't know because most of the call letters are taken. It's WHMK radio. There's a drink called WHMK radio. It is a Black Gospel radio station in Marion County, Virginia.

1330. Who next? Just saying. Hell yeah. I didn't know you're into gospel music, Hank.

Anyway, I'm into some Black gospel music. You like your black women, right? You like your milk chocolate. Anyway, Hammerin' Hank, I wanted to save this for the air. Something I learned when I worked for Rovers Morning Glory, I would go in there when I was doing phones and I would say, oh, this caller wants to say, and he would interrupt me and he would go save it for the air.

That's why I was very vague with you when you called me yesterday is because I wanted to save it for the air because that to me is when the best radio comes out is when you save it for the air. And here's what I'm asking you. Every week you send me prop and that's great. And it'll be like Hank's jokes, blah, blah, blah. What the fuck is junkyard humor?

Junkyard humor is that people dropping off their fucking junk at the junkyards, hoping that it will either be destroyed or so to someone else. Do you have any like stories? Where did you come up with that? I made it up myself. So do you want like listeners to call and say the weirdest thing I saw at a junkyard?

Where does this go? Yes. A hit me up on my Instagram at DJ Hammerin' Hank. Tell us your best junkyard stories. That's where the Joe shows career is.

Anywho, Hammerin' Hank, is that it for junkyard humor? Do you got anything else for junkyard humor? There's a song called with the line called bad bad Lee Roy Brown bad bad and the whole damn town meaning junkyard dog. I like them. What about this?

Send on the dock in the bay watching the time and throw away as I'm Hammerin' Hank getting blow job at the sound factory you know that song cool buddy you don't know what to do with me today do you listeners hear this you hear that little that's me I just drink my Celsius I'm gonna never drink Celsius I would make you crazy bro you are crazy when you have a Pepsi imagine me out of Celsius that's me right now yeah it'll be like 2049 it'll be like 1993 to 2049 how did Ryan Hoppe die from his Celsius anyway we're not gonna manifest that I have her and Hank what are some old TV game shows you want to see return to daytime TV definitely press your luck oh yeah what's that price is like you said you get this and will to try to avoid a whammy remember to stop at a whammy I think I was in my dad's balls during that time of my life and also will a fortune to return to daytime TV I remember watching I never watching who wants to be a millionaire I was good those two mixed up when the guy called his friend to say he was gonna be millionaire that nerd anyway that brat I don't know about that Hammerin' Hank I'm gonna hit the music and then we're gonna do it so I'll point to you when I'm ready we're gonna do a buddy of the week we're gonna play this bang right now yo tune in to the show it's Hammerin' Hank autistic genius always keeping it dank Henry Ochs on the mic hot rod and shotgun roll call for the buddies we just having some fun who's your buddy of the week mm-hmm everyone who believes in me during my long and winding radio career that a lot of boys me and who will believe in me in future that's awesome anybody in particular Tom Loughlin has a John pastor Ben and also Selena from wanting for nine oh yeah all those JV rest in peace JD rest in peace as way to me the name right now hmm hammer and egg if I hit the music are you ready for prick of the week yes all right let me turn this up right here and then we click this straight out the dim lit Henry on the mic what's this prick in the news fools thinking they slick Ryan got the scoop crew ready to expose shots fire dodging pigs and the petty pros coppers in the back Hoppe with that verbal machete every word a weapon cameras rolling yelling ready keyboard warriors acting tough behind the screen between the lines you get sliced like a deli cheese in the news he's a thorn in your side exposing all your lies who's your prick in the news definitely dream on green because I was listening to your podcast why yes he's a fucking crybaby without stuff curry Hank dream on green had the audacity to go out there and say that the dynasty and everything was comes to him but guess what's happening without curry they're he's fucking up he should be on the more polar show why because that fucking cry baby why should why should he be on the more pulled it show that's where all the cry babies end up because of their fail paternity test I was gonna make that a clip but I might leave that out hammered Hank anything else you know the boy po show yeah we yeah yeah I've heard of it you know the theme song should be the crying game because all the people crying over stupid paternity test man you're really big on the paternity test today dude you're the best hey you're the greatest I mean there's Howard there's Jamie and Elvis there's all these you're the greatest there's nobody better buddy there's nobody better oops wrong but then hammer and hang you're the best you're the greatest you're the goat but the greatest American hero of the TV show yes I know who's the thing song of the greatest American hero oh it's good knowledge that's good to have Hammerin' Hank anything else well that should do it all right sign us off well guess they was up to all my buddies out there for believing me continuing to be believe in me also who will believe in me in the future and I hope to see you right back here next week peace in your hood HAAAANK! BY PEACE IN YOUR HOOD the Hammerin' Hank show HAAAANK! all the dial things gotta let the curtain go slow radio go never ghost he a host with the sauce Henry Ochs and Reinhardt platinum never lost puzzle piece crown man this dude was the boss city mr. voice that's the ultimate cause HAAAANK! BY PEACE IN YOUR HOOD farewell Hammerin' Hank gotta close up the show legend in the booth where the vibes used to flow autism warrior always running the glow but all good things gotta let the curtain go slow radio gate never ghost he a host with the sauce Henry Ochs and Reinhardt platinum never lost puzzle piece crown man this dude was the boss city mr.

voice that's the ultimate cause what's up Ryan Hoppe here and I want to tell you about the ride to wave media podcast network they got such great shows it's practically magic those guys Blane's world and even my show happy hour with Ryan Hoppe which can be heard by searching Hoppe radio this podcast network is going to take over the world it is everything that radio is missing now you're hearing my voice and you go how can I find it Ride The Wave dot media is the website name and there has all the great podcasts and once again this is Ryan Hoppe from the ride the wave media podcast network hey what's up guys it's Ryan Hoppe here I host the award-winning and nationally syndicated Hoppe our podcast I'm not bragging it's a mix of a 2000s 1990s in a podcast format you never know what I might talk about one minute I could be talking about the latest with the NFL side chicks and the very next second I can be playing an unknown song from the 2000s my show is an in-studio circus for the age group of 18 to 34 even though we have 70 year old zealous for more info if you want to be a sponsor a friend and no not a drinking sponsor a sponsor of the show of Hoppe our go to Ride The Wave dot media is the website and Ryan Hoppe radio at gmail.com once again this is Ryan Hoppe of the Hoppe hour podcast and let's do some business there's a difference between serving a crowd and cooking for one person the phase are about volume grab it and go but made to order that's attention and an injury law it shows because when you've been hurt in a crash you shouldn't feel like you're just moving through an assembly line at fair and fair you're not just another file we take the time we walk you through it and we build your case from scratch fair and fair still cooking Tampa what's going on everyone it's bluff here and you know what's more American than America's 250th birthday supporting American owned companies like spin quest America's number one social casino with over a thousand games like live dealer blackjack and craps they're offering new users a $30 coin package for just $10 go to spin quest calm and sign up today spin quest is a free to play social casino void where prohibited visit spin quest calm for more details